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It is possible to be morally pro-life and politically pro-choice at the same time.

Abortion remains an incredibly polarizing issue but it doesn't have to be.

pro life and pro choice demonstrators face each other
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Pro-choice and pro-life demonstrators face off

The legality of abortion is one of the most polarized debates in America—but it doesn't have to be.

People have big feelings about abortion, which is understandable. On one hand, you have people who feel that abortion is a fundamental women's rights issue, that our bodily autonomy is not something you can legislate, and that those who oppose abortion rights are trying to control women through oppressive legislation. On the other, you have folks who believe that a fetus is a human individual first and foremost, that no one has the right to terminate a human life, and that those who support abortion rights are heartless murderers.

Then there are those of us in the messy middle. Those who believe that life begins at conception, that abortion isn't something we'd choose—and we'd hope others wouldn't choose—under most circumstances, yet who choose to vote to keep abortion legal.

It is entirely possible to be morally anti-abortion and politically pro-choice without feeling conflicted about it. Here's why.


There's far too much gray area to legislate.

No matter what you believe, when exactly life begins and when “a clump of cells" should be considered an individual, autonomous human being is a debatable question.

I personally believe life begins at conception, but that's my religious belief about when the soul becomes associated with the body, not a scientific fact. As Arthur Caplan, award-winning professor of bioethics at New York University, told Slate, “Many scientists would say they don't know when life begins. There are a series of landmark moments. The first is conception, the second is the development of the spine, the third the development of the brain, consciousness, and so on."

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that a human life unquestionably begins at conception. Even with that point of view, there are too many issues that make a black-and-white approach to abortion too problematic to ban it.

Abortion bans hurt some mothers who desperately want their babies to live, and I'm not okay with that.

a man holds a sign for pro-choice arguments reading "our life - our decision"a man holding a sign that says our life - our decisionPhoto by Aiden Frazier on Unsplash


One reason I don't support banning abortion is because I've seen too many families deeply harmed by restrictive abortion laws.

I've heard too many stories of families who desperately wanted a baby, who ended up having to make the rock-and-a-hard-place choice to abort because the alternative would have been a short, pain-filled life for their child.

I've heard too many stories of mothers having to endure long, drawn out, potentially dangerous miscarriages and being forced to carry a dead baby inside of them because abortion restrictions gave them no other choice.

I've heard too many stories of abortion laws doing real harm to mothers and babies, and too many stories of families who were staunchly anti-abortion until they found themselves in circumstances they never could have imagined, to believe that abortion is always wrong and should be banned at any particular stage.

I am not willing to serve as judge and jury on a woman's medical decisions, and I don't think the government should either.

pro-life and pro-choice demonstrators face each otherIt is possible to be morally pro-life and politically pro-choice at the same time.


Most people's anti-abortion views—mine included—are based on their religious beliefs, and I don't believe that anyone's religion should be the basis for the laws in our country. (For the record, any Christian who wants biblical teachings to influence U.S. law, yet cries “Shariah is coming!" when they see a Muslim legislator, is a hypocrite.)

I also don't want politicians sticking their noses into my very personal medical choices. There are just too many circumstances (seriously, please read the stories linked in the previous section) that make abortion a choice I hope I'd never have to make, but wouldn't want banned. I don't understand why the same people who decry government overreach think the government should be involved in these extremely personal medical decisions.

Protestors gather outside Supreme Court after Dobbs decision

a crowd of people in front of the Supreme Court after Dobbs decision

Photo by Sarah Penney on Unsplash

And yes, ultimately, abortion is a personal medical decision. Even if I believe that a fetus is a human being at every stage, that human being's creation is inextricably linked to and dependent upon its mother's body. And while I don't think that means women should abort inconvenient pregnancies, I also acknowledge that trying to force a woman to grow and deliver a baby that she may not have chosen to conceive isn't something the government should be in the business of doing.As a person of faith, my role is not to judge or vilify, but to love and support women who are facing difficult choices. The rest of it—the hard questions, the unclear rights and wrongs, the spiritual lives of those babies,—I comfortably leave in God's hands.

Most importantly, if the goal is to prevent abortion, research shows that outlawing it isn't the way to go.


The biggest reason I vote the way I do is because based on my research pro-choice platforms provide the best chance of reducing abortion rates.

Abortion rates fell by 24% in the past decade and are at their lowest levels in 40 years in America. Abortion has been legal during that time, so clearly, keeping abortion legal and available has not resulted in increased abortion rates. Switzerland has one of the lowest abortion rates on earth and their rate has been falling since 2002, when abortion became largely unrestricted.

Outlawing abortion doesn't stop it, it just pushes it underground and makes it more dangerous. And if a woman dies in a botched abortion, so does her baby. Banning abortion is a recipe for more lives being lost, not fewer.

At this point, the only things consistently proven to reduce abortion rates are comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control. If we want to reduce abortions, that's where we should be putting our energy. The problem is, anti-abortion activists also tend to be the same people pushing for abstinence-only education and making birth control harder to obtain. But those goals can't co-exist in the real world.

Our laws should be based on reality and on the best data we have available. Since comprehensive sex education and easy, affordable access to birth control—the most proven methods of reducing abortion rates—are the domain of the pro-choice crowd, that's where I place my vote, and why I do so with a clear conscience.


This article originally appeared on 01.22.19


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Music

Rare clip of the Bee Gees singing 'How Deep Is Your Love' a cappella somehow tops the original

Three brothers, no instruments, and pure magic.

bee gees, how deep is your love, bee gees live
via Edu Seijas/YouTube

The Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love" in 1998.

Not all live performances are created equal, but when the circumstances and the talent are just right, they can far surpass studio recordings. In 1998, the Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, stopped by ITV’s “Des O'Connor Tonight” with acoustic guitars in hand to promote their recent release, “One Night Only,” an album and live concert DVD featuring many of the band’s biggest hits.

The highlight of the performance was when Barry got ready to strum his guitar for a performance of “How Deep Is Your Love,” the 1977 megahit from the “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack,” but instead chose to sing the song a cappella.

Barry starts the song solo in his beautiful falsetto, but then, when his brothers join him, they create a wonderful harmony that only brothers can make. The show’s host, Des O’Connor, a notable singer himself, even joins in for a few bars.

- YouTube youtu.be

Earlier in the performance, the brothers played their version of “Islands in the Stream,” a song made famous by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers in 1983 that was written by the Bee Gees. In 1998, the song was enjoying a resurgence as its melody was used in the song “Ghetto Supastar” by Pras of The Fugees.

Robin Gibb later admitted that the song was initially written for Marvin Gaye to sing, but he was tragically murdered in 1984 by his father. The band also had Diana Ross in mind while composing the tune.

During the appearance, the band also sang “Guilty,” a song that the Bee Gees wrote for Barbara Streisand and Barry produced in 1980.

You can watch the entire performance here:

- YouTube youtu.be

The Gibb brothers started making music together when they were children, and after their first public appearance together at a local movie theater in 1956, they were hooked on performing.

“It was the feeling of standing in front of an audience that was so amazing," said Barry. "We’d never seen anything like it. We were very young, but it made an enormous impression. We didn’t want to do anything else but make music.”

After the family moved to Australia in 1958, Barry, Maurice, and Robin were "discovered" at the Redcliffe Speedway, where they had asked to perform between races. Even over the tinny PA system, their harmonies made an impression. Speedway manager Bill Goode introduced the trio to DJ Bill Gates, who set them up with a recording session.

the bee gees, gibb brothers, maurice, barry, robin gibb Stayin Alive GIF by Bee Gees Giphy

If you've ever wondered how the Bee Gees got their name, that was it: Bill Goode, Bill Gates, Barry Gibb, and the brothers' mother Barbara Gibb all had the initials B.G. After a strong reception on the airwaves in Brisbane, Gates forwarded the brothers' recordings to a Sydney radio station. They got a lot of airtime there as well, and the band had a run of success performing in Australia, but it wasn't until their return to England in 1967 that they became the international sensation we all know today.

Manager Robert Stigwood had received tapes from the Gibbs brothers and called them up within weeks of their arrival in the U.K.

“I loved their composing,” Stigwood told Rolling Stone in 1977. “I also loved their harmony singing. It was unique, the sound they made; I suppose it was a sound only brothers could make.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

And, as they say, the rest is history. The award-winning 2020 HBO documentary, "The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" tells the story of the band with loads of footage from throughout their 40-year career, which includes not only their disco-era fame, but the various phases of their musical journey and the countless songs they wrote for other artists.

As one commenter wrote, "People that call the Bee Gees a 'disco group' don't have a clue. They had 10 albums out before they ventured into 'disco.' Their song catalogue is amazing and some of their very best songs were written long before Saturday Night Fever. Those 'disco' songs are classics as well. It is nice to see they are finally getting the recognition they deserve."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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Joy

Here's why the world's strangest traffic light in Japan only turns green one day a year

Everyone waits until a special day in May, when it finally turns green.

himakajima stoplight, traffic light, street corner, octopus, japan, japanese island
via Flickr

The Himakajima traffic light.

The island of Himakajima, a few dozen kilometers south of Nagoya in between Ise Bay and Mikawa Bay, Japan, is home to around 2,000 residents. It’s best known for its picturesque beaches and local delicacy, octopus. The dish is so famous in the town that it even has cute pictures of it emblazoned on its manhole covers. Himakajima is also known for its one stoplight that blinks yellow for 364.25 days of the year.

Himakajima doesn’t really need any stoplights because the tiny island sees very little foot or car traffic. However, the children who grow up on the island may not live there forever; many will grow up to attend schools or find jobs on the mainland. So it’s important that they know how to cross a street with a traffic light, or they could get seriously injured.

The Himakajima traffic light

In 1994, at the request of the local Himaka Traffic Safety Association, stoplights were installed on the east side of the island so the town’s children could practice crossing the street like they would in a big city. The light blinks yellow most of the time, so when it becomes fully operational, it’s a real event in the city.

- YouTube youtu.be

Every year in May, the town’s teachers, children, parents, and officials gather near its East Port and the stoplight becomes fully operational, cycling through red, yellow, and green lights.

Last year, on May 21, the kids congregated at the light and practiced looking left, right, and left again before crossing the street. To be extra sure that other pedestrians and motorists know they are crossing, they hold their hands high in the air so they’re sure to be seen.

According to SoraNews24, one girl told reporters that things got “tricky” when she was walking her bike across the zebra strips and the light turned red. It goes to show that kids need to know not only when to walk but also how quickly to do so.

The annual children’s crossing has become so popular that people planning to visit the island often hunt online to catch wind of when the stoplight will be fully operational. After the special day, the light reverts to its blinking yellow state, encouraging everyone to proceed with caution until sometime the next May.

himakajima stoplight, traffic light, street corner, octopus, japan, japanese island The Himakajima traffic light.via Google Maps

The official Green Light Day in Himakajima is a beautiful example of how, even in the smallest of communities, parents and teachers find a way to help their children prepare for the real world. It’s a testament to the community's importance of safety and learning through real-life experience. A lesson in class where the teacher holds up a red or green light sign may give kids a vague notion of how to cross the street in a big city, but getting to travel to see the real light and trying to judge how quickly to move across the street is a lesson the kids will never forget.

Further, for the vast majority of us who live in towns where streetlights are commonplace, it’s refreshing to see a community gather around something that we take for granted.

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Modern Families

51-year-old empty nester who struggled to declutter her house shares 8 tips that finally worked

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house."

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips
Photo credit: Canva

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in a cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.

"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

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6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

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Golden Years

Elderly people are asked to define 'love,' and their answers are truly raw and heartfelt

"Love isn't just something that happens to you. It's something you have to nourish."

love, elderly, advice, relationships, wisdom
Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

An elderly couple are playful and in love.

When we're young, we're so often overwhelmed by new love. The beginnings of things can feel like we're being whisked into another dimension, and then if or when it falls apart, those crashes can feel devastating. With time, the hope is that wisdom follows.

After a lifetime of experience—big loves and heartbreaks—older people often have a clearer rearview mirror when it comes to love.

William Rossy (who uses the name @Sprouht on social media) has over one million subscribers on YouTube alone and claims to have interviewed the elderly in "35 countries." He asks people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s to share their deepest thoughts with questions like, "What's a big regret you have that taught you a valuable lesson?" "What advice would you have for younger generations?" And, powerfully, "How would you define love?"

William Rossy asks older people questions about life and love. www.youtube.com Sprouht


A woman in her 80s answers, "Love, to me, is a commitment. It isn't just something that happens to you. Ya know, like 'Pow—LOVE!' It's something you work at, something you have to nourish." Her friend adds, "You grow into it; it doesn't just happen at first sight."

Of her third (and she says hopefully "final") husband, she says, "We both had a lot of baggage. We met when we were 72, so you're gonna have a lot of baggage. So you give each other a generous baggage allowance." She adds, "It's not easy to share your life with a person. You're never gonna have the exact same response to things. Recognizing that your point of view may not be the other person's point of view. A lot of tolerance."

A man in his 90s, who has been married for 67 years, answers that the secret to such a long relationship has been "compromise." Adding, "No question. Very few things in life are worth fighting over. I want to go downtown, and she wants to go to Westmount Square. So? We went to Westmount Square, and I'm very happy."

When he's specifically asked to "define the word love," he answers, "Extreme respect and caring. No more than that. The physical side dies early."


People in the same age range are asked about life regrets; again, the answers are truly eye-opening. One woman mentions she didn't have children. When pushed to answer, she first says she has no regrets, but when asked, "Did you ever regret it?" she answers, "I did feel it was something I should have, perhaps, done. But I wasn't cut out for it." Someone counters in the comments, "Admitting you are not cut out for children despite wanting them shows massive self-awareness. It is better to not have them than to have them and not look after them properly."

One man, whose wife passed away after a 55-year marriage, advises the younger generations to always talk. "Sit down and talk, no matter the disagreement."

Near the end of the clip, Rossy references a dear friend in Montreal who painted a drawing of an older person sitting on a bench with a younger one. He shows the painting to the elderly people he's speaking with and asks, "What advice would you give to me on living a great life? Maybe something you wish me and people my age would know a little sooner?"

One woman very directly answers, "Make a point of liking and knowing as many people as you can."

A 96-year-old woman, as she holds her cute dog, says, "Look after yourself. Take care of yourself. Don't abuse yourself."

Another discusses the importance of travel. "Keep your options open. Travel is a big way to open your mind. Make sure that whatever you do in life, you have some international travel."

A man seconds the travel advice. "Travel. Expose yourself. And for God's sake, be tolerant."

And lastly, a woman quite simply admits, "I've kind of learned that I don't like to give advice. Because I don't actually like it when people give me advice. I don't have any advice, but I've got a lot of experience."

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'Entitled parent' says airline moved their toddler's seat right before flight took off

This wasn't your typical 'entitled parent' story.

Delta, Delta airlines, children on planes, Reddit
via Canva Photos

A child sits alone in a plane seat.

I took a long Amtrak train trip from Atlanta to Baltimore with my nine-year-old daughter this summer. As far as I could tell, there was no way to reserve specific seats in coach on our particular train ahead of time. But we arrived as early as we could and, to our delight, were treated to a near-empty train. We sat together in a two-person row and had a really nice trip up to Baltimore.

On the way back? We boarded at Union Station and the train, having arrived from New York, was already packed. The conductor told me he would try his best to seat us together but couldn't guarantee it. You should have seen the terror in my daughter's eyes. It would be a 14-hour overnight train ride. Sitting her next to some stranger that whole time? Absolutely not. No way.

They eventually found us seats across an aisle from each other, which kind of worked, but wasn't ideal. Luckily, the guy I was supposed to sit next on the other side flew into a rage that he wouldn't have a row to himself and stormed off to sit elsewhere, freeing up the row for us.

Delta, flying, Delta airlines, kids on planes, children's seating on planes, Reddit A mother sits with her two children on a plane via Canva Photos

But for a few horrible minutes, I had become "that dad" desperately asking anyone in the area if they'd be willing to move so we could sit together.

I had become the dreaded "entitled parent" from all the viral travel stories.

Stories of "entitled parents" desperately trying to get other passengers to switch seats go viral all the time. But a recent thread on Reddit shows why we don't always get the full story.

Delta, children on flights, plane flights, flight etiquette, Reddit A parents reveals how they were separated from their toddler on a flightImage via Reddit

in a since-deleted post, user u/takeme2themtns shared a nightmare travel story in the r/Delta subreddit:

"In typical Delta fashion, they just switched up our seats and placed my toddler in a row away from us," they wrote. "Booked three seats ... in comfort plus months ago. Now, several hours before the flight we get notifications that our seats have changed. They put wife and me in exit row seats and the toddler in a window seat a row away."

With no way to fix the seating snafu digitally, the OP would have to rely on the Gate Attendant or even Flight Attendant to make a last-minute change—which would force someone else on the plane to move.

"I’m confident the GA (gate attendant) will take care of it," they wrote, "but it’s still so frustrating that we have to worry about it. I know we see posts like this all the time, but that’s because it happens all the time to people. Delta needs to fix this trashy system."

- YouTube youtu.be

Another user in the comments wrote to share a similar story:

"I had this happen to me. The check-in person said to talk to the gate.

The gate said to talk to the flight attendant.

The flight attendant told me to ask people to trade seats.

I asked people. People said no. Other passengers started berating me for not planning ahead and saying my lack of planning isn’t their responsibility.

I defended myself by saying I reserved seats months ago and Delta moved me at the last minute. Then passengers started yelling at each other about my situation.

The FA had someone move and I got to sit with my daughter."

The user noted that the situation was chaotic and traumatizing.

These stories are far from rare.

Delta, Delta airlines, children on flights, separated children, gif Season 6 Nbc GIF by This Is Us Giphy

I found another story just like this on the r/United subreddit. The user's family booked seats together only for the system to separate them right before the flight, leaving an eight-year-old to fly seated alone. The flight crew's only solution was to ask other passengers to switch, causing the OP's family to get lots of dirty looks for the duration of the flight.

Having a young child or toddler seated away from you while traveling is just a complete no-go for many, many reasons. But as a dad, leaving a kid of nearly any age to sit alone—even if they're 8 or 10 or 14—is not acceptable.

And it's not just about convenience—it's a huge safety issue. There are plenty of horrifying news stories that support why a parent would do absolutely anything to avoid it.

When we hear these stories, they're almost always framed as the parents being unprepared, lazy, and entitled. But maybe we're missing the point.

Delta, Delta airlines, children on planes, flying, switched seats, Reddit boy sitting on plane seat while viewing window Photo by Hanson Lu on Unsplash

A story from January 2024 praises a passenger who refused to switch seats with an "entitled dad" as a "hero."

People are fed up with parents asking them to switch out of airline or train seats that they paid good money for. And I don't blame them!

But we need to stop beating each other up and start holding the airlines and other travel companies accountable for putting parents and non-parents into this mess in the first place.

There needs to be a better system for families booking plane and train tickets. When you buy tickets, you have to enter in the ages of the children you're traveling with — so it stands to reason that these mix-ups flat out shouldn't happen!

Families shouldn't have to panic at the gate or on board about this! Other paying passengers shouldn't have to give up their seats!

The good news is that the Department of Transportation has recently gotten involved with a dashboard of which airlines guarantee family seating at no additional cost.

The DOT is looking to even make it illegal for airlines to charge parents and children fees to sit together. Parents and children under 13 would be required to be seated side by side or immediately adjacent, and if not, they'd get a full refund or free rebooking—it's known as the Families Fly Together Act.

Traveling in 2025 is stressful enough, from seat changes to unruly passengers to high numbers of cancelled flights.

Seating kids and parents together seems like one small problem we should be able to solve.

This article originally appeared last year.

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