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Is racism traumatizing like bullying? Looks like yes.

Think about it. There are a lot of parallels.

Being bullied by your peers is traumatizing.

Bullied children are more likely to have depression, anxiety, substance use problems, or self-harm. It breaks down self-esteem and puts the child on constant alert because the acts of aggression repeatedly occur.

Bullying is more than just being thrown against the lockers or stuffed in a trash can.

Social isolation, name-calling, taunting, and online nastiness may not be as stark, but they're still damaging. Over time, it gets inside a person and tears them down. When bullying is a part of everyday life, it's hard to look in the mirror and feel good about what you see. You're bombarded with negative feedback about who you are. It's especially difficult when it's based on a fundamental part of yourself that you can't (and shouldn't) change.


Racism is similarly traumatizing and similarly complex.

Racism breaks down self-esteem the same way: by reinforcing the idea that there is something wrong with you. Sometimes the attacks are big. Sometimes they're small. But they're always damaging.

A child who is often picked on when riding the school bus may develop anxiety before those yellow doors open. Similarly, a person who is often followed in stores may develop anxiety before going shopping.

In Australia, indigenous peoples are often subject to racist treatment.

The British colonized Australia in the late-1700s and displaced the aboriginal people who lived in and around it. Ever since, they have fought for equality in a land that was once their own. Even though overtly discriminatory laws have been repealed, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders (ATSI) still experience day-to-day racism from their fellow Australians.

It hurts them.

In this video by beyondblue, five ATSI people talk about how racism affects their emotional well-being.

"I think later on, if it happens to you a few times, it has a massive effect on you." — Basil

It's not imaginary. Researchers are seeing that consistent discrimination — even consistent worry about discrimination — can cause harm.

The worry of encountering racism causes stress to build up. Sometimes that stress can manifest in diagnosable mental disorders like generalized anxiety disorder or PTSD.

Think about it: When soldiers spend extended time on the battlefield, stress can build up even if they never engage the enemy. Just the constant pressure of being in danger can cause lasting mental damage. Facing consistent discrimination can do the same thing.

We used to say that bullying was just kids being kids. We know better now.

We know that it's harmful. We know that everyone has a hand in stopping bullying behavior. We're coming together to make childhood healthier for all kids.

We used to say that discrimination was normal. We know better now. Let's do better too.

That first car is a rite of passage into adulthood. Specifically, the hard-earned lesson of expectations versus reality. Though some of us are blessed with Teslas at 17, most teenagers receive a car that’s been … let’s say previously loved. And that’s probably a good thing, considering nearly half of first-year drivers end up in wrecks. Might as well get the dings on the lemon, right?

Of course, wrecks aside, buying a used car might end up costing more in the long run after needing repairs, breaking down and just a general slew of unexpected surprises. But hey, at least we can all look back and laugh.

My first car, for example, was a hand-me-down Toyota of some sort from my mother. I don’t recall the specific model, but I definitely remember getting into a fender bender within the first week of having it. She had forgotten to get the brakes fixed … isn’t that a fun story?

Jimmy Fallon recently asked his “Tonight Show” audience on Twitter to share their own worst car experiences. Some of them make my brake fiasco look like cakewalk (or cakedrive, in this case). Either way, these responses might make us all feel a little less alone. Or at the very least, give us a chuckle.

Here are 22 responses with the most horsepower:

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Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


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TikTok about '80s childhood is a total Gen X flashback.

As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.

How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.

One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.

And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?

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