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If you come from a blended family, these real-life accounts will hit home.

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Every family is different. Every family is special.

That's something we hear often. Whether it's written in children's books or on TV shows, the message that every family is unique is something that's become ingrained in us.

What makes a family a family, though? For a long time, we were taught that it was just a biological bond — that the people you're born to are the people you belong to for a lifetime.

Of course, now we know that's just one kind of family. It's one small part of a much bigger picture.

[rebelmouse-image 19397764 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="Photo by Vasile Tiplea/Unsplash" expand=1]Photo by Vasile Tiplea/Unsplash

Today, more and more people are members of blended families.

According to the US Census Bureau, over 50 percent of families in America consist of people who are re-married or re-coupled. More than 1300 step-families come together every day. Recent statistics also show that more than 135,000 children are adopted every year in America.

These family members may not all share biological bonds, but they share something just as important: love.

[rebelmouse-image 19397765 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="Photo by rawpixel/Unsplash" expand=1]Photo by rawpixel/Unsplash

While being part of a blended family can be as rewarding as every primetime TV show makes it out to be, it can also be a challenge. But we often don't talk about the realities of what it's like to be a member of such a unit.  

That's why Sean Anders, writer and director of the upcoming movie "Instant Family" wanted to make something that was different and real.

Anders and his wife are the parents of three children who they adopted in 2013 who also happen to be the inspiration for Anders' film.

"I wanted to tell a more complete story that doesn't shy away from the tragedy or the trauma, but also really gets into the laughs, and the love, and the joy involved as well," he says of the new film.

"We hit upon the idea of adoption exactly like it happens in the movie. I made that same joke to my wife, that I was feeling like I was gonna be too old of a dad, and she said  'Why don't we just adopt a five year old? It'll be like I got started five years ago.' I was totally kidding. But, she took it seriously enough to get us moving down the road." Anders was on board, but could never have anticipated the challenges, or the rewards for that matter.

"You go through this really awkward time where you have these people in your house who, you're supposed to be their parents, and you don't love them. And they don't love you. You don't even know each other yet. You go through some really difficult transitional times, but you also get this amazing experience of getting to fall in love with your kids."

We wanted to know more about what it's like to come from a blended family.  So we asked. Real people answered.

Here are 5 people's true stories of the ups, downs, and life-changing experiences that being part of a blended family brings.

1. Krista Ball was raised by her grandparents, and learned family are the people who accept you for who you are.

"I was adopted as an infant by my maternal grandparents. Children being raised by other family members was fairly common where I grew up (Newfoundland, Canada), so I didn't feel isolated or weird. My teens were tough, though, as I went through a lot of identity issues. I wondered why my biological mother gave me up, but kept her other children.

"As an adult, I absolutely understand those kinds of decisions and I feel no malice or ill-will. It was the best decision for her in that time and place. But I didn't have the tools to understand that at fifteen. I didn't know my biological father's identity until I was in my 30s."

"Family is such a strange thing. I think it's the people who teach you things, who accept you the way you are, and who try to do what's best for you. Mom and Dad (her grandparents) are my family, and I am fiercely protective of them. There is a kind of connection that is beyond simple genetics and shared last names. I was given the best possible life for me. As I get older, I am so grateful for that. Whatever struggles I had as a teenager were worth it, in the long run."

2. Courtney Lipsham is a step-daughter and became a step-mother three years ago at 19-years-old. As such, she thought she knew what to expect. She didn't.

[rebelmouse-image 19397766 dam="1" original_size="750x563" caption="Photo by Sestrjevitovschii Ina on Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Sestrjevitovschii Ina on Unsplash.

"I come from a blended family and I’ve always had my step-mum around since I was young. I don’t actually remember a time when we weren’t a blended family. When I met my partner I had false hope in the fact that I’d grown up in a blended family fine, so taking on becoming a part of his would be easy, which is quite a misconception I’ve heard among step-parents.

"Between issues with the bio mum, families, living far away from his daughter, and the terrible twos, it’s been challenging to say the least. However, being a part of this family is the most rewarding decision I’ve ever made, especially now his daughter is four and we can go on little adventures together. Seeing her come out of herself with bundles of confidence and watching her grow up is a blessing I never imagined!"

"I’m just so proud of her and so proud of the journey we’ve come on as a family."

3. Louis Swingrover's family is even more unique than most blended families. He can't imagine it being any other way.

[rebelmouse-image 19397767 dam="1" original_size="750x500" caption="Photo by Brittany Simuangco on Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Brittany Simuangco on Unsplash.

Photo of the Swingrover family by Amber Glanville.

"My wife and I have four children-two biological boys, a girl we adopted through the foster care system, and another girl we are currently fostering. It might be the case that blended families in general tend to have some features that are not as common in other kinds of families, but to be honest, I have no idea what those are! I am only aware of what it is like to be a part of my family. It is incredible, innervating, embarrassing, pride-giving, life-giving, depressing and uplifting."

"We have contact with members of our daughter’s family of origin. This means that a distinct kind of extended family is attached to ours, which can be both challenging and rewarding. No other reward in life, however, has the distinct quality that raising an adopted child does. Watching my daughter thrive, and knowing that I played a teeny tiny role of some kind in that is marvelous. But what is more profound to me is the attachment we have formed."

"I will never forget the moment I learned that she would be issued a new birth certificate. It does not list us as the biological parents (our version of the certificate does not include them), it just simply lists as us as her parents, period. From the legal to the relational, I cannot help but marvel at the sheer miracle of her being ours. "

4. Tiffany's new siblings helped heal her relationship with her father.

[rebelmouse-image 19397769 dam="1" original_size="750x1125" caption="Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash.

"My parents went through a nasty divorce when I was nineteen which strained me and my younger sister’s relationship with our father for quite some time. When my father reached out a few years later to let me know that he was expecting a child and marrying a woman I’d never met, I was completely caught off guard."

"This woman was not that much older than me, and I was in the midst of planning my own wedding when I received the news. I remember thinking that I was entirely too old to have an infant sibling."

"Five years (and three new siblings) later, I get to be a big sister to these tiny impressionable little humans and I gained an awesome stepmom in the process. As an added bonus, the births of my new siblings brought my father and I back together and our relationship has never been stronger. Their existence forced my father and me to work through our issues to ensure that they do not grow up witnessing the conflict that infiltrated my childhood home."

"One of the best things about being in a blended family is that I get to feel those warm feelings of nostalgia when I see my dad teaching my younger siblings some of the same fun traditions I got to enjoy as a child."

5. Jill Johnson Young has been widowed twice and has three adopted daughters. Their bonds are too strong to ever be broken.

Linda Johnson-Young and Kerry Johnson-Young, Photo courtesy of Jill Johnson-Young.

"One memory, I will never forget was the first night our oldest child, Kerry, was at home with us for good. We'd been visiting her on day visits for weeks while we waited for her to finish her school year. We brought her home the day school ended. "

"That night we bathed her, helped her dress in her little jammies, and brushed her hair. We read stories, said bedtime prayers, made sure she had enough lights on, and kissed her goodnight."

"30 minutes later she came back out of her room, and looked really scared. She said 'I can't sleep. Can I come spend time with you guys?' We took her into our room, and turned on Ann Murray singing 'Can I Have This Dance?' We picked her up and laid her across our arms, holding her like a hammock laying between us, and slowly danced with her while her eyes started to slowly trust us enough to close."

"It's the moment you know your child has decided she is yours, and that remarkable ability to trust big people again after so much trauma. I keep it close to me."

When she's missing my first wife, her mama, Linda, I tell her the story again. All of us wrapped together. A new family that she knew would be hers — we just needed to find her."

There is no right way to be a family. Love, support, and understanding are what truly make the people in your life your closest allies.

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Modern Families

Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

via Canva/Photos

A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.

As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.

It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?

boomers, grandparents, absentee grandparents, milennials, grandpa, grandmaBaby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos

A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.

“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”

“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.

stressed mom, young mom, stressed millennial, woman hands on her head, woman on couchA stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos

CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.

The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.

Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.

stressed woman, tired mom, woman doing laundry, woman needs help, crying woman, folding laundryA stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos

“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”

“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.

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Humor

Comedian's hilarious raps get nursing home residents grooving anyway they can

Pauline Schantzer (aka Polly Wolly) created "The Finger Dance" so those in wheelchairs can groove.

therealpollywolly/Instagram

Comedian Polly Wolly raps and dances with nursing home residents.

You're never too old to sing or dance. And Los Angeles-based comedianomedian Pauline Schantzer (@therealpollywolly) is making it her mission to keep residents in nursing homes doing both. The actress, writer and rapper (aka Polly Wolly) has been bringing her beats, songs and dance moves to nursing and assisted living homes, inspiring them to live it up and find joy.

"I started performing in nursing homes in November 2023," Polly tells Upworthy.

She got connected with her first nursing home via her friend, Rena Hirsch, who was the director of the nursing home that first booked Polly. "At first I didn't plan to pursue [work] in nursing homes. But I grew up going to see my grandma in the nursing home, and my mom Judy who is my comedic inspiration also lives in an assisted living home," she shares. "She has minor dementia, so it means a lot to me to give people laughter. My mom used to be full of laughs and jokes, and she's lost that. So it's been really tough on me to experience that. And humor is how I've dealt with it."

Understanding her audience, Polly recently created a song called "The Finger Dance" that allows everyone to get dancing, including those in wheel chairs. In the video, Polly raps and sings as she interacts with the residents. "In the wheelchair, let's groove! What's that button do? Oh ooh. It's electric, vroom vroom. Can't get up? That's fine! Put your fingers up real high, aye!" she raps and sings in the video.

She continues, "Move it from side to side. Yeah girl, looking real fly! Aye! Shake them fingers, don't be shy. You got arthritis? Come on just try!" Polly pans the camera to the small crowd, who have their fingers up and are grooving along with her.

The sweet video got tons of supportive comments from viewers. "Ur in those homes everyday! I love it! Respect what you do so much, laughter is the best medicine," one wrote. Another added, "👏👏 I love how you bring a moment of happiness and joy to our seniors !! ♥️" And another viewer shared, "You've got me over here doing the finger dance at my desk while at work. Lol."

Polly adds, "I wrote this song, 'The Finger Dance' because my mom always did this dance [with her fingers]. She was so cute, she was overweight and her cheeks would look all chubby and she'd point her fingers up in the air. It was inspired by her."

In another post, Polly performed another original song in another assisted living home, encouraging everyone to dance through their aches and pains with more funny lyrics. "You got aches, you got pains, da da da da da da. So groove with your cane, da da da da da da da." And viewers noted that her performance was "100x better than Coachella" and "Next stop…Coachella."

Another bop she created is called "Shake It Doll", and it's a banger that has consistently put smiles on faces when she performs it. During a recent show, she told the crowd, "Let's get wild up in here, you know? We only live once. Let's do it!" she said as the song started. "Shake it doll, shake it at the mall! Shake it doll in the bathroom stall!" The beat is irresistible, and in the video Polly dances alongside an enthusiastic woman.

"It makes me really happy to see the residents really enjoy it. A lot of times they will first refuse to dance and enjoy. But when I get a man or woman who doesn't [initially] want to dance to suddenly get up and move, it means so much to me," says Polly.

She has big plans for the future and reaching more residents in nursing and assisted living homes. "I would love to do a nursing home tour around the United States. I have a lot of big visions for it," she says. "It really warms my heart a lot seeing how many people around the world tell me how much I'm making their day and giving joy to them. It means so much to me to see people have laughter. That's what life's about."

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Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships perfectly  explained in 10 paintings

The bond between dads and daughters is amazing.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

fathers
Kids

Baby born with incredibly luscious locks looks like an adorable mini-Maui from 'Moana'

"The second he came out my belly, the first thing they said is 'Oh my God, his hair!'"

@jchelleistryingherbest/TikTok, Wikifandom

Maybe he's born with it…

Some babies are born ready to rock out, and little Lucio is one of them.

Lucio first took the internet by storm earlier this month, when his mom, Naya “J’chelle” Perry, posted a TikTok showing off his incredible “Farrah Fawcett” like locks.

As Perry shared in the clip, Lucio caused the medical staff to do a double take in the operating room.

“The second he came out my belly, the first thing they said is ‘Oh my God, his hair!’” she said, as a picture of three-hours-old Lucio with a full head of shiny, black-brown hair popped up on screen. She dubbed this his “placenta perm.”

As Lucio grew, so did his mane. By three months, he had a halo of curls. Cut to 18 months old, and Lucio looks like the spitting image of Maui from Moana.

@jchellestryingherbest When your baby has more hair than you 😭 #momsoftiktok #boymom #curlyhaircheck ♬ Idyllic jazz bossa nova with piano and guitar(1298871) - TAKANORI ONDA

Unsurprisingly, some folks have been hit with a twinge of (lighthearted) jealousy of Lucio’s luscious locks. As one person joked, “Baby got an entire roller set and I’m sitting here bald. You win, kid.”

Another business-minded viewer saw a lucrative opportunity, and wrote. “Get that baby a shampoo contract.” Seriously, couldn’t you just see him in a commercial with a fan blowing that mane, Beyoncé style?

The term “placenta perm” is an informal term used to describe the curly or wavy hair pattern that some babies are born with due to the presence of lanugo—a fine, soft hair that covers the developing fetus during the second trimester of pregnancy to keep it warm.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Lanugo typically falls off in the last eight weeks of pregnancy, mixing in with amniotic fluid and becoming part of its first food, and, therefore, shall be part of its first poop after birth (the more you know). However, some babies, like Lucio, don’t lose all of theirs. Experts aren’t exactly sure why this happens, though it’s generally believed that genetics, prenatal development, and hormone levels play the biggest roles.

In an interview with Newsweek, Perry further shared that while no signs of Kciso hair popped up during any ultrasounds, there were other “old wives’ tale” omen, including an itchy stomach and some acid reflux. Hence why someone quipped, "I know that heartburn was killing you" in the comments.

Perry admitted that Lucio’s unique character is of being “super curly in the front and straighter in the back”—which makes sense, as most curly-haired folks have different levels of curliness on their noggin—makes things a little harder to style, but luckily grandma is mostly in charge of that.


@jchellestryingherbest He thinks hiding behind his hair gives him an excuse to act like he don’t hear me 🙄 #momsoftiktok #boymom #toddlermom ♬ Suavemente - Elvis Crespo

"My mom is the master braider for him," Perry said. "He will get fussy if I try to touch his hair, but will sit just perfectly for grandma!

Regardless, that iconic look is worth all the fuss in the world.

And if you’re wondering. No, there are zero plans to cut Lucio’s hair. Until he asks for it, that is.

Sometimes what makes us unique takes time to discover and cultivate. And other times, we are simply born with it.

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Pop Culture

Woman gives outrageous performance of Blink-182 karaoke with no idea Tom DeLonge is watching

He looked slightly bewildered.

via Journalist 2nd Class Danny Lester/Wikimedia Commons

Blink-182 on a nuclear submarine.

Monica Gill, dressed in a long shirt with a bikini printed on it, took the mic at a bar in Palm Springs, California, recently and gave a raucous performance of “All the Small Things” by pop punk legends, Blink-182. During the performance shae gave an exaggerated “emo scream” for one of the song’s memorable lines, line “work sucks, I know.” It was all fun until after her performance, a man filming her told Gill and her friends that Blink-182 singer Tom DeLonge, who co-wrote the track with bassist Mark Hoppus, was watching the entire performance.

In the video taken by a man named Kyle, DeLonge experiences a range of emotions during the song, from some slight head nods to amusement to complete bewilderment. He had to have been wondering if she knew that he was in the audience and was mocking the song or just having fun, completely unaware he was watching. “She had no idea the guy who wrote that song was sitting right there. I told her and her friends, and they lost their minds,” Kyle captioned his video.

@websitelandlord

She had no idea the guy who wrote that song was sitting right there. I told her and her friends and they lost their minds. #blink182 #tomdelonge #coachella @Tom DeLonge @blink-182

Kyle says that while he was recording the performance, it was clear she didn’t know DeLonge was in the bar watching her. “I noticed that she started singing in a big way too, but I saw that her eyes were looking at her friends the whole time,” he told Today.com. “I had a feeling she didn’t know, because none of her friends were looking over at Tom DeLonge or anything. So I was like, I think I should probably tell them.”

Kyle later uploaded another video of the performance where Monica gives the “Work sucks!” line all she has.

@websitelandlord

Replying to @Amy Lynn I wish I had more. This is the only other clip I got. #coachella #blink182 #Coachella2025 @Tom DeLonge

After the song, Gill and her friends talked to DeLonge, whose body language seemed a little standoffish. “I kind of blacked out a little bit because I was so starstruck,” Gill says. “I just remember saying to him, ‘I didn’t know you were here. I wouldn’t have made a mockery out of your song.”

TikTok · Kyle | Website Landlord

tom delonge, blink 182, palm springs california, karaoke, monica gill, barsTikTok · Kyle | Website Landlordwww.tiktok.com

3912 likes, 69 comments. “Replying to @GinaLynn480 this is a photo of her running over to @Tom DeLonge after I told them he was sitting right there.”

Blink-182 has had a resurgence over the past few years. In 2015, DeLonge left the band to focus on his work with UFOS and was replaced by Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio. After nearly 8 years apart, DeLong re-joined Blink and the band released the number one album One More Time… and its follow-up, a deluxe edition, One More Time… Part-2. This summer, the band plans to embark on another U.S. tour.

Here, Hoppus shares how he and DeLonge reconnected after his cancer diagnosis and got the band’s classic line-up back together.

@z100newyork

Have you experienced this kind of relationship with an old friend? ❤️‍🩹 #MarkHoppusOnElvis #MBInterviewLounge Mark Hoppus delves into his complex relationship with Blink-182 bandmate Tom DeLonge, and how, ultimately, his cancer diagnosis allowed them to reconnect. @iHeartRadio @Mark

DeLonge has made headlines over the last few years not for his bands Blink-182 and Angels & Airwaves, but for his work on UFOs. In 2015, he founded the To The Stars Academy of Arts & Sciences to explore the phenomenon. His efforts contributed to the release of declassified Navy videos of unidentified objects. During a 2023 Congressional hearing on UFOs, DeLonge and his organization were commended for their work on bringing attention to the controversial subject.

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