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If you come from a blended family, these real-life accounts will hit home.

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Every family is different. Every family is special.

That's something we hear often. Whether it's written in children's books or on TV shows, the message that every family is unique is something that's become ingrained in us.

What makes a family a family, though? For a long time, we were taught that it was just a biological bond — that the people you're born to are the people you belong to for a lifetime.

Of course, now we know that's just one kind of family. It's one small part of a much bigger picture.

[rebelmouse-image 19397764 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="Photo by Vasile Tiplea/Unsplash" expand=1]Photo by Vasile Tiplea/Unsplash

Today, more and more people are members of blended families.

According to the US Census Bureau, over 50 percent of families in America consist of people who are re-married or re-coupled. More than 1300 step-families come together every day. Recent statistics also show that more than 135,000 children are adopted every year in America.

These family members may not all share biological bonds, but they share something just as important: love.

[rebelmouse-image 19397765 dam="1" original_size="700x467" caption="Photo by rawpixel/Unsplash" expand=1]Photo by rawpixel/Unsplash

While being part of a blended family can be as rewarding as every primetime TV show makes it out to be, it can also be a challenge. But we often don't talk about the realities of what it's like to be a member of such a unit.  

That's why Sean Anders, writer and director of the upcoming movie "Instant Family" wanted to make something that was different and real.

Anders and his wife are the parents of three children who they adopted in 2013 who also happen to be the inspiration for Anders' film.

"I wanted to tell a more complete story that doesn't shy away from the tragedy or the trauma, but also really gets into the laughs, and the love, and the joy involved as well," he says of the new film.

"We hit upon the idea of adoption exactly like it happens in the movie. I made that same joke to my wife, that I was feeling like I was gonna be too old of a dad, and she said  'Why don't we just adopt a five year old? It'll be like I got started five years ago.' I was totally kidding. But, she took it seriously enough to get us moving down the road." Anders was on board, but could never have anticipated the challenges, or the rewards for that matter.

"You go through this really awkward time where you have these people in your house who, you're supposed to be their parents, and you don't love them. And they don't love you. You don't even know each other yet. You go through some really difficult transitional times, but you also get this amazing experience of getting to fall in love with your kids."

We wanted to know more about what it's like to come from a blended family.  So we asked. Real people answered.

Here are 5 people's true stories of the ups, downs, and life-changing experiences that being part of a blended family brings.

1. Krista Ball was raised by her grandparents, and learned family are the people who accept you for who you are.

"I was adopted as an infant by my maternal grandparents. Children being raised by other family members was fairly common where I grew up (Newfoundland, Canada), so I didn't feel isolated or weird. My teens were tough, though, as I went through a lot of identity issues. I wondered why my biological mother gave me up, but kept her other children.

"As an adult, I absolutely understand those kinds of decisions and I feel no malice or ill-will. It was the best decision for her in that time and place. But I didn't have the tools to understand that at fifteen. I didn't know my biological father's identity until I was in my 30s."

"Family is such a strange thing. I think it's the people who teach you things, who accept you the way you are, and who try to do what's best for you. Mom and Dad (her grandparents) are my family, and I am fiercely protective of them. There is a kind of connection that is beyond simple genetics and shared last names. I was given the best possible life for me. As I get older, I am so grateful for that. Whatever struggles I had as a teenager were worth it, in the long run."

2. Courtney Lipsham is a step-daughter and became a step-mother three years ago at 19-years-old. As such, she thought she knew what to expect. She didn't.

[rebelmouse-image 19397766 dam="1" original_size="750x563" caption="Photo by Sestrjevitovschii Ina on Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Sestrjevitovschii Ina on Unsplash.

"I come from a blended family and I’ve always had my step-mum around since I was young. I don’t actually remember a time when we weren’t a blended family. When I met my partner I had false hope in the fact that I’d grown up in a blended family fine, so taking on becoming a part of his would be easy, which is quite a misconception I’ve heard among step-parents.

"Between issues with the bio mum, families, living far away from his daughter, and the terrible twos, it’s been challenging to say the least. However, being a part of this family is the most rewarding decision I’ve ever made, especially now his daughter is four and we can go on little adventures together. Seeing her come out of herself with bundles of confidence and watching her grow up is a blessing I never imagined!"

"I’m just so proud of her and so proud of the journey we’ve come on as a family."

3. Louis Swingrover's family is even more unique than most blended families. He can't imagine it being any other way.

[rebelmouse-image 19397767 dam="1" original_size="750x500" caption="Photo by Brittany Simuangco on Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Brittany Simuangco on Unsplash.

Photo of the Swingrover family by Amber Glanville.

"My wife and I have four children-two biological boys, a girl we adopted through the foster care system, and another girl we are currently fostering. It might be the case that blended families in general tend to have some features that are not as common in other kinds of families, but to be honest, I have no idea what those are! I am only aware of what it is like to be a part of my family. It is incredible, innervating, embarrassing, pride-giving, life-giving, depressing and uplifting."

"We have contact with members of our daughter’s family of origin. This means that a distinct kind of extended family is attached to ours, which can be both challenging and rewarding. No other reward in life, however, has the distinct quality that raising an adopted child does. Watching my daughter thrive, and knowing that I played a teeny tiny role of some kind in that is marvelous. But what is more profound to me is the attachment we have formed."

"I will never forget the moment I learned that she would be issued a new birth certificate. It does not list us as the biological parents (our version of the certificate does not include them), it just simply lists as us as her parents, period. From the legal to the relational, I cannot help but marvel at the sheer miracle of her being ours. "

4. Tiffany's new siblings helped heal her relationship with her father.

[rebelmouse-image 19397769 dam="1" original_size="750x1125" caption="Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash.

"My parents went through a nasty divorce when I was nineteen which strained me and my younger sister’s relationship with our father for quite some time. When my father reached out a few years later to let me know that he was expecting a child and marrying a woman I’d never met, I was completely caught off guard."

"This woman was not that much older than me, and I was in the midst of planning my own wedding when I received the news. I remember thinking that I was entirely too old to have an infant sibling."

"Five years (and three new siblings) later, I get to be a big sister to these tiny impressionable little humans and I gained an awesome stepmom in the process. As an added bonus, the births of my new siblings brought my father and I back together and our relationship has never been stronger. Their existence forced my father and me to work through our issues to ensure that they do not grow up witnessing the conflict that infiltrated my childhood home."

"One of the best things about being in a blended family is that I get to feel those warm feelings of nostalgia when I see my dad teaching my younger siblings some of the same fun traditions I got to enjoy as a child."

5. Jill Johnson Young has been widowed twice and has three adopted daughters. Their bonds are too strong to ever be broken.

Linda Johnson-Young and Kerry Johnson-Young, Photo courtesy of Jill Johnson-Young.

"One memory, I will never forget was the first night our oldest child, Kerry, was at home with us for good. We'd been visiting her on day visits for weeks while we waited for her to finish her school year. We brought her home the day school ended. "

"That night we bathed her, helped her dress in her little jammies, and brushed her hair. We read stories, said bedtime prayers, made sure she had enough lights on, and kissed her goodnight."

"30 minutes later she came back out of her room, and looked really scared. She said 'I can't sleep. Can I come spend time with you guys?' We took her into our room, and turned on Ann Murray singing 'Can I Have This Dance?' We picked her up and laid her across our arms, holding her like a hammock laying between us, and slowly danced with her while her eyes started to slowly trust us enough to close."

"It's the moment you know your child has decided she is yours, and that remarkable ability to trust big people again after so much trauma. I keep it close to me."

When she's missing my first wife, her mama, Linda, I tell her the story again. All of us wrapped together. A new family that she knew would be hers — we just needed to find her."

There is no right way to be a family. Love, support, and understanding are what truly make the people in your life your closest allies.

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Internet

Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

"We're old. Older than Google, too."

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

Doctor shares genius 2 minute sleep hack for parents struggling to get their kids to fall asleep

Parents say it's legit.

Photo by Richard Stachmann on Unsplash
a little girl sleeping in a bed with a blanket

One of the biggest battles all parents face is bedtime. Getting your kids to all asleep (in a timely manner) can be painstakingly difficult. Rather than being a time of peace and bonding, putting your kids to bed can be one of stress and dread. If you struggle each night at bedtime, there's a sleep hack you need to try.

Dr. Michael Milobsky (@dr_mikem), a pediatrician in Castle Rock, Colorado, shared a video with his followers on TikTok explaining the two-minute trick he learned from the Yale Department of Child Psychology to help anxious kids fall asleep in their own room.

"If you have a young child that struggles to fall asleep by themselves, try this new technique from the Yale dept of child psychology called, 'The Game'," he captioned the video.

@dr_mikem

If you have a young child that struggles to fall asleep by themselves, try this new technique from the Yale dept of child psychology called, “The Game” #preschooler #sleepproblems #toddlersoftiktok #sleepissues #parentingtips #pediatrics

Dr. Milobsky shares that according to Yale, this method is about 75-80% effective--and is meant for children 3 years of age or older.

"You discuss with your child that you're going to have them put on a show--show us what it looks like, like you're on a stage, to get into bed and fall asleep on your own," he explains. "You're gonna set the amount of time they're gonna do this. They (Yale) recommend starting at about 2 minutes."

Parents are instructed to leave the room for those 2 minutes, and your child will "go through the motions of what it looks like to get into bed and fall asleep." After those 2 minutes is up, if your child has not fallen asleep, they are free to get up and go where they please--including your bed. Parents will continue to do this every night for 1-2 weeks, increasing the amount of time to 4 minutes, then 6 minutes--working up to 15 minutes if necessary.


SleepTired Baby GIFGiphy

"What I have found in my office when I have given families this little formula is by the time you get past 10 minutes, a lot of kids are just falling asleep in bed. If they happen to wake up, the rule is that they can go wherever they want and go back to sleep. Once the child is falling asleep in their room by themselves playing 'The Game', you don't necessarily stop--you keep doing it in the same way."

Dr. Milobsky harps on the fact that it's all about giving your child positive affirmations. "You really praise the child for doing something that's hard, doing something that they're worries about--and being really excited about the accomplishment and accomplishing this milestone on their own."

Eventually, your child will get bored of 'The Game' after going through the same routine. "They just get more accustomed to getting in bed and falling sleep on their own and staying in their room," he adds.

What's more: Dr. Milobsky notes that for the families he offers this method to, he see a 90% success rate. After encouraging his followers to try 'The Game' with their children, many shared their experience after trying it in the comments.

"2.5 weeks in and my daughter just fell asleep for the 2nd time (non consecutively) on her own!! Game changer!!!" one wrote. Another added, "This is what we do but I tell her to just “pretend” she is sleeping for 10 minutes and I will come in to see if she is pretending really good. 🤪 Works every time 😂."

Joy

Man finds a mysterious egg in London, incubates it, and launches a Pixar-worthy journey of love

When Riyadh found an abandoned egg, he had no idea that it would change his life.

Courtesy of Riyadh Khalaf/Instagram (used with permission)

When Riyadh found an egg, he had no idea how much it would change his life.

The story of Riyadh and Spike starts like the opening to a children's book: "One day, a man walking through the city spotted a lone egg where an egg should not have been…" And between that beginning and the story's mostly sweet ending is a beautiful journey of curiosity, care, and connection that has captivated people all over the world.

Irish author Riyadh Khalaf was out walking in London when he came upon an egg. "We just found what we think is a duck egg," Riyadh says in a video showing the milky white egg sitting in a pile of dirt. "Just sitting here on its own. No nest. No other eggs."

Thinking there was no way it was going to survive on its own, Riyadh put the egg in a paper cup cushioned with a napkin and took it home to incubate it. He said he used to breed chickens and pigeons, so he had some experience with birds. Knowing the egg could survive for a while in a dormant state, he ordered an incubator on Amazon, and the journey to see if the egg was viable began.

Even though it was "just an egg," Riyadh quickly became attached, and once it showed signs of life he took on the role of "duck dad." Every day, the egg showed a drastic change in development, and Riyadh's giddy joy at each new discovery—movement, a discernible eye, a beak outline—was palpable. He devoured information on ducks to learn as much as he could about the baby he was (hopefully) about to hatch and care for.

Finally, 28 days later, the shell of the egg began to crack. "I could see this very clear outline of the most gorgeous little round bill," Riyadh said—confirmation that it was, indeed, a duck as he had suspected. But duckling hatching is a process, and one they have to do it on their own. Ducklings instinctively know to turn the egg as it hatches so that the umbilical cord detaches, and the whole process can take up to 48 hours. Riyadh watched and monitored until he finally fell asleep, but at 4:51am, 29 hours after the egg had started to hatch, he awakened to the sound of tweets.

"There was just this little wet alien staring back at me," he said. "It was love at first sight."

Riyadh named his rescue duckling Spike. Once Spike was ready to leave the incubator, he moved into "Duckingham Palace," a setup with all of the things he would need to grow into a healthy, self-sufficient duck—including things that contribute to his mental health. (Apparently ducklings can die from poor mental health, which can happen when they don't have other ducks to interact with—who knew?)

"My son shall not only survive, but he shall thrive!" declared the proud papa.

Riyadh knew it would be impossible for Spike to not imprint on him somewhat, but he didn't want him to see him as his mother. Riyadh set up mirrors so that Spike could see another duckling (even though it was just himself) and used a surrogate stuffed duck to teach him how to do things like eat food with his beak. He used a duck whistle and hid his face from Spike while feeding him, and he played duck sounds on his computer to accustom Spike to the sounds of his species.

"It's just such a fulfilling process to watch a small being learn," said Riyadh.

As Spike grew, Riyadh took him to the park to get him accustomed to the outdoors and gave him opportunities to swim in a small bath. He learned to forage and do all the things a duck needs to do. Throughout, Riyadh made sure that Spike was getting the proper balanced nutrition he needed as well. Check this out:


After 89 days, the day finally came for Spike to leave Riyadh's care and be integrated into a community of his kind "to learn how to properly be a duck." A rehabilitation center welcomed him in and he joined a flock in an open-air facility where he would be able to choose whether to stay or to leave once he became accustomed to flying. Within a few weeks of being at the rehabilitation center, his signature mallard colors developed, marking his transition from adolescence. Spike has been thriving with his flock, and Riyadh was even able to share video of his first flight.

This is the where "And they all lived happily ever after" would be a fitting end to the story, but unfortunately, Spike and his fowl friends are living in trying times. The rehabilitation center was notified by the U.K. government in December of 2024 that the duck flock needed to be kept indoors for the time being to protect them from a bird flu outbreak and keep it from spreading.

Building an entire building for a flock of ducks is not a simple or cheap task, so Riyadh called on his community of "daunties" and "duncles" who had been following Spike's story to help with a fundraiser to build a "Duckingham Palace" for the whole flock. Riyadh's followers quickly raised over £11,000, which made a huge difference for the center's owners to be able to protect Spike and his friends.

All in all, Riyadh and Spike's story is a testament to what can happen when people genuinely care. If Riyadh had left that egg where it was, it may not have made it. If Spike hadn't survived and been moved to the rehab center, the ducks there would be in greater danger of the bird flu due to the costs of building an indoor shelter for them. Despite the ongoing bird flu threat, the story really does have a happy ending.

Thank to Riyadh for sharing Spike's journey with us. (You can follow Riyadh on Instagram here.)


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Health

15 ways to get out of a conversation with someone who won't stop talking

You can leave the conversation without being rude, but it can be tricky.

via Canva/Photos

A woman is bored by a very long story.

There are few things worse than getting stuck in a conversation with someone who can’t stop talking. It’s even worse when that person is a coworker you must see daily, and they repeatedly chew your ear off. The tricky part is that you want them to stop, but it’s hard without being rude.

Sometimes, it feels like the best thing to do is to walk away. However, there are a lot of people who are neurodivergent and have ADHD or autism and have a hard time noticing the signs that they have been talking too much or noticing other people’s cues that it’s time to wrap it up. So, in those cases, it’s important to be polite because the other person may know they are being rude.

What’s the best way to end a conversation with someone who won’t stop talking? A group of folks online have been discussing the topic, and we put together a list of their most effective ways to exit a conversation. Most of the suggestions are polite, but some folks make the point that if someone is talking up the entire conversation, won’t let anyone get a word in edgewise, and is wasting other people’s time, it’s ok to be a little blunt and walk away. If they're going to be rude, you don't have to be 100% polite.



Here are 15 ways to get out of a conversation with someone who won’t stop talking.

1. Positivity sandwich

"The positivity sandwich works well for anything that can be perceived as critical or negative. Positive/negative/positive. Examples:
'Hey Jim, it was great catching up (positive), but I need to get back to my work, so I can't talk (negative). I love your tie (positive).'"

2. Slow walk back

"I struggled with this for years. If in person, start slowly walking somewhere while talking and, along the way, exclude yourself for some reason. (To use the washroom, do something else, etc.) It takes some practice, but eventually, it’ll become second nature. I now do this all the time. If it’s something remote like a call or video meeting, have your device 'unexpectedly drop.'"

3. Be firm

"A firm 'Excuse me for a moment.' Shuts them up pretty quickly, and it's polite AF."

"Excuse me for a moment, but just stare intently into their eyes, no movement, no sound. But, yeah, I like this."



4. Ear pods

"I have an old lady neighbor who used to pop out with questions whenever I left the house. I started leaving with AirPods in, gesturing that I was on a call. I work from home, so it's believable. I do the same with charity muggers. With my other neighbor, who is ok for 5 mins, I give it 5 mins and say, 'ok, nice to catch up, I gotta dash.'"

5. 'I just remembered...'

"I find the best, most polite conversation breaker is to remember something very important just then. I'll kind of look to the side and do a routine that says, "Oh Crap, I just remembered," and then haul off. Then I'll just apologize later.

'Oh Crap, I was supposed to call X.'
'Oh crap, I was supposed to get with X.'
'Oh Crap, I've got a ZOOM in 5'
'Crap, I totally spaced, I've got to get to X'

I've been in some real face-numbing conversations before I learned this secret and ancient art. It's one fluid motion right out of the conversation. A flinch, a troubled face, a checking of the phone or the time, and walking out."

6. Stay strong

"The absolute most important thing is do not positively engage the conversation. If you contribute, it becomes exponential."

"This is hard for me to do, actually. And I know that it becomes exponentially worse when you engage... I just need to not engage."



7. Just walk away

"My ex-wife would literally just walk away from someone when they wouldn't stop talking. I loved it because it gave me an out from the conversation, lmao."

"I look at it this way: they don't respect my time, so I don't feel like I need to respect their feelings."

8. Conform their point and then bail

"I will usually repeat something they just said and agree with it, rephrase it, and then apologize for talking their ear off and say I need to get going, but it was nice chatting with them and start walking off. 'Yes! Exactly like, obviously, the moon landing was fake. It is ridiculous that more people don't see that. Like obviously, if you look at all the facts you mentioned, people should realize that it's obvious. But man, I'm sorry for taking so much of your time. I need to get going, but it was nice chatting with you.'"

9. The white flag

"When you are approaching your saturation point, throw out a white flag as a warning. Just like a race car driver gets a white flag indicating time constraints, you must throw one before you can legitimately stop a monopolizer in his tracks. For example, You are in your office, and your friend Gary comes by to tell you about his golf game. When you are running out of time, interest, or willpower, you throw a white flag by saying: 'Wow, Gary, that’s an amazing round you shot. Before you continue, I need to let you know that in a few minutes, I have to get back to preparing the budget.' You have politely given Gary the signal that you need to end the conversation shortly. Gary takes another four minutes telling you of his exploits on the twelfth and thirteenth holes. You can now wrap it up by saying: 'Well, Gary, that’s really something. I have to take care of the budget right now. Maybe we can catch up another time.' You can now turn your attention to your budget without worry. You were gracious and obliging, and you gave fair warning that it was time to end the chat."

10. Burst out laughing

"At my previous job, I was in the lunch room with a couple of colleagues. One of them asked about our weekends. My answer was pretty succinct, but the other guy ended up talking for almost half an hour about every single thing that happened to him that weekend. Once I realized how long he'd been talking, I actually burst out laughing. I felt a bit bad explaining why I found it so amusing, but it did at least get him to stop."



11. Is this a speech?

"Don’t put up with this BS. Walk away or explain two people talking is a conversation, you talking is a speech. Do you want to have a conversation or give speeches? Don’t tailor to his narcissism."

12. Look disengaged

"Do what I do. Look as disengaged as possible. Shift weight from one foot to the other. Put your hands on your hips. Look at your phone. Look around the room. Don’t make much eye contact. When people see that you are clearly not a willing participant in what’s essentially a spiel, they’ll typically ask if they’re keeping you. That, my friend, is your get-out-of-jail-free card. If that doesn’t work, walk right towards the door, interrupt him, and tell him you have a whole day’s worth of events planned out and have to be on your way."



13. I will let you go

"I will let you go. I'm sure you're busy, and I have to <what you have to do>. It was nice talking with you. We'll talk later.' Hopefully, they say bye, and then you say bye. If not, then, 'Well, I really gotta go. Talk to you later, bye.'"

"This is a good one, I usually end up saying, 'Oh well, I better let you go then' if they are talking about how much they still have to do, another is 'Well, I don't want to hold you back' I think these work because the other person likes to think they're really busy and have a hectic schedule but really you just haven't got a word in edgeways and good conversation needs to be talking and listening. These only really work if a person brings up what they are about to do, etc."

14. Make it a walking conversation

"Make a move and move nearer to that person like you're gonna walk and talk at the same time, and they will probably back away because of the need for private space. If you were successful, you'd have moved this convo from a stationary one to a moving one. Walk faster so that the other party pants and doesn't talk that much. If he/she still persists, pray and good luck to you because you'll need it."

15. The awkward joke

"My response to these types of conversations used to be that of "running away" because it felt very aggressive and confrontational to me, but now that I've been focusing on learning better listening skills, I've started a new approach. Sometimes, it's making a confusing joke; sometimes, it's a dumb wink or, a poke, or a laugh. It totally depends on the person and the situation, but if you actually listen to them, they are communicating in their body language or what they are saying that they think something is wrong with them. Just like pretty much every member of this group. One of the prime reasons for social skills deficiencies is an inability to communicate difficulty, and it comes out in the emotional intensity of friendly interactions, which drives people away."

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Health

'You saved my life': Suicidal person's life is changed after reading a homemade bumper sticker

One kind note can change the world.

Photo by Tod Perry

A recreation of the note left on Brooke Lacey's car.

If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (273-8255) or text "HOME" to the Crisis Text Line: 741741.


There’s an old Hebrew saying that if you “save one life, you save the world entire.” Who knows if Brooke Lacey, 22, had that lofty goal when she began a campaign in 2020 to help uplift people’s spirits during the first COVID-19 wave. But her kind efforts may have done just that.

Lacey has struggled with mental health issues throughout her life and she knew that people like her were going to have a really hard time during COVID-19 lockdowns. A study from May 2021 found that the New Zealand population had “higher depression and anxiety compared with population norms.” The study also found that “younger people” and “those most at risk of COVID-19 reported poorer mental health.”

To help those who may be struggling, Lacey printed 600 stickers with an uplifting message and posted them around places where people may take their lives, including trains, bridges and large bodies of water in Wellington, New Zealand. She also made a bumper sticker with the same message for her car.

The stickers spoke directly to those who may be contemplating taking their own life. “Please don’t take your life today,” the stickers read. “The world is so much better with you in it. More than you realize, stay.”

In 2022, Lacey parked her car in her university’s lot and when she returned to her vehicle to leave, she noticed a note was affixed to the windshield. Thinking it was someone complaining about how she parked or a ticket, she prepared for the worst but wound up being blindsided by the positive message.

“I left my house with a plan and asked for a sign, any sign, I was doing the right thing when I saw your car in the parking lot. Thank you,” the note read. At first, Lacey wasn’t sure what the person was referring to, then she remembered her homemade bumper sticker.

“I had these made so long ago, put one on my car and forgot about them, until now,” she tweeted on her since deactivated account. “I am so glad whoever you are chose to stay today. You never know who needs this reminder.”

Now, it’s unclear exactly what the person’s “plan” was, but there's no doubt that Lacey’s bumper sticker inspired them to choose life. Let’s hope that the sticker also inspired them to seek professional help for whatever difficulties they are going through.

Whether it was intentional or not, Lacey’s sticker was effective because it followed one of the most important strategies that people use at suicide hotlines. According to Science.org, it’s of utmost importance that people contemplating suicide are handled with “respect and empathy.”

Lacey's story is a beautiful reminder of the power that one simple, thoughtful gesture can have on another person’s life. Every day, there are people all around us who are looking for a sign to give them a reason keep going. Whether it’s a hug, a smile, or the right message in the right place at the right time, we should all be like Lacey and make sure everyone knows that the world is better with them in it. In fact, much more than they ever realize.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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