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I have compassion for everyone struggling with depression — except me.

mental health, depression, family, community
Image created from Pixabay.

According to the World Health Organization, 5% of adults suffer depression.

My earliest memories of stifling depression go back to the age of 7.

By stifling, I mean the kind of clinical depression that courses through your veins, colors every thought, and places such a metaphorical weight on you that you feel unable to move in both literal and figurative ways.

Depression is a disease of inaction, of paralysis. At least, that's how it manifests for me.

It's a part of myself I have hated, a part of myself I've hidden and combatted — with drugs, with sex, with working too much, talking too much, taking on more and more … and I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Because the more I do, the more I can hide the depression that's lurking beneath it all.

When it comes to other people who are struggling with mental health issues, I am empathetic; I am patient and compassionate.

But when it comes to my own depression, I am none of those things. I am the opposite — impatient, angry, intolerant.

Getting a handle on my depression took a long damn time. Today, I am on the proper medication; I have tools and knowledge that I didn't have even 10 years ago. Because of that, I have this unrealistic expectation that it's solved, and when my depression crops up despite all my armor, I feel confused, angry, and anxious — but most of all, disappointed in myself.

I recognize intellectually that it's unreasonable to hold myself accountable for brain chemistry that I hardly understand, let alone control. But I do. I feel responsible for it.

I also recognize that making yourself culpable for something you have no control over is cruel.

If I had survived cancer and the cancer came back, would I blame myself? If I'm honest, I might. Which is so messed up.

Part of my (admittedly dysfunctional) coping mechanism is control. If I control the situation, the emotion, or the circumstance, then I won't hurt. If I take drugs to mask the emotional pain, I'm in control. If I cheat to prevent the heartache of being left or cheated on (because, of course, I'm unlovable), I'm in control. If I work, work, work, and push and don't stop, I won't have time for the anxiety.

It's all a lie. Because my need to control puts me out of control.

One of my biggest life lessons that has come up time and again for me is compassion for self.

And it's a lesson that I am learning over and over. Because I am stubborn. Because my expectations for myself are ridiculous.

I have written and spoken a lot about the Reiki healing I have done for the past 18 months. My Reiki healer has repeated this message to me during nearly every visit or conversation we've had: "You don't have to be Superwoman. Show yourself some compassion."

What stops me?

In my work as an advice columnist and general advice giver to my friends, I have said so many times that the most significant form of self-care is to say "This is how I feel." And I'm pretty good at doing that — except when it comes to saying "I feel depressed." Why?

Because when I say this, I feel like I have failed. I know that's not a fact, but it is what I feel.

I still have moments and sometimes days that I think about suicide.

Even with all I have in my life. Even with all the love around me. Even with how very much I have to be grateful for. And when it crops up, I hate myself for it. Because you don't have a right to feel this way. Because you have so much. Because you are a mother. Because you beat this thing.

If I were speaking to someone else who felt this way, I would say, "It's OK. You can be 100% grateful for your life and still feel depressed. Depression is not a choice. Depression is a chronic mental illness, and it doesn't make you bad or broken or selfish."

And still, I struggle to believe that for myself.

But I am working on it.

With Reiki and with meditation, I am doing active work — cognitive behavioral stuff — to rewire those brain pathways. I am making decisions to consciously, continuously handle my depression, and I remind myself repeatedly that it's a marathon, not a sprint.

My default for so many years was to jump to one crystalized thought: I want to kill myself. Today, I am working on a new one: I want to have compassion for myself, even when I'm depressed.

And it's working.

This article originally appeared on Ravishly and is printed here with permission. More from Ravishly:


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    Joy

    5 small things that made us smile this week

    Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

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    Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

    Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

    Ready to smile? Here we go.

    1. The best travel buddy surprise 

    @tarareynolds03

    Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

    ♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds
    This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

    2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

    Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
    “If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

    For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

    “Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

    To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

    3. The proudest big brother

    @caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW

    Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

    4. Overly excited dogs 

    @puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay

    This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

    5.Bunny ASMR

    @megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani

    If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

    For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

    For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

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    Man's side-splitting monologue on why 'women don't want to date anymore' is eerily accurate

    The women in the comments are convinced one of them snitched.

    Canva Photos

    A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

    There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

    Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

    A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

    the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, loveThe Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot onGiphy

    At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

    "Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

    He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

    "You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

    "You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

    "You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

    These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


    @gettothepointbro

    DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

    The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

    "dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

    "I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

    "Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

    "The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

    "This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

    Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

    @gettothepointbro

    CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

    The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

    According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

    This article originally appeared in April.

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    Innovation

    Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

    This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

    Photo credit: Canva

    A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

    Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

    I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

    Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach, and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping four million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

    Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate unpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

    If that sounds like a lot of control, it is—and that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

    Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

    “Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

    Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

    strawberries, strawberry fields, fields, farming, traditional Traditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

    Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

    “Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love—now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

    Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get four million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?

    This article originally appeared in February.

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    Joy

    7 idioms from other cultures that sound hilarious when translated into English

    It can rain a lot more than just cats and dogs.

    Photo credit: Canva

    "Horse horse, tiger tiger." What does that mean?

    You probably know what it means to hit the hay, tie the knot or buy a lemon. Maybe you’ve already killed two birds with one stone today, so effortlessly that it was a piece of cake. But to a non-English speaker, using these phrases would probably make you sound crazy … or should I say gone crackers?

    That’s the fun thing about idioms. They change depending on the time, place and culture creating them. In other words, they usually sound ridiculous to anyone except those who normally use them. Looking at turns of phrase in different languages helps us see the world through different eyes. And man does it seem impressive at a party.

    Just think, instead of saying “it’s raining cats and dogs,” next time you could incorporate a more Lithuanian take, and say “it’s raining axes.” How metal is that?

    It can also be raining old women, barrels, buckets, pipe stems, frogs, female trolls, fire and brimstone … depending on where you’re from.

    Some of these idioms from around the world make a lot of sense. Others get so lost in translation, you can’t help but get tickled pink.

    Swedish idiom, fish being cooked"Now your fishes will be warmed."Photo credit: Canva

    Swedish

    ”Nu ska du få dina fiskar värmda.”

    Literal translation: Now your fishes will be warmed.

    It's another way of saying someone’s in trouble, or their “goose is cooked.”

    The Swedish language is definitely not lacking in the threats department. They also have a saying, “nu har du satt din sista potatis,” which translates to “now you have planted your last potato.”

    Imagine hearing Batman say “You’ve planted your last potato, Joker.” Doesn't have quite the intended effect.

    ham, italian idiom"To have one’s eyes lined with ham."Photo credit: Canva

    Italian

    “Avere gli occhi foderati di prosciutto.”

    Literal translation: To have one’s eyes lined with ham.

    Leave it to the Italians to have food-related phrases. You can use this when someone can’t see what’s right in front of them. It can also be used when someone is blinded by love. Sadly, there is no “ham-colored glasses” idiom.

    Icelandic idiom, laying your head in the water, man in the water"To lay your head in water."Photo credit: Canva

    Icelandic

    “Að leggja höfuðið í bleyti.”

    Literal translation: To lay your head in water.

    You say this when you “need to sleep on something,” or “put your thinking cap on.” This one is hilarious because I cannot fathom getting any mental clarity from holding my head in the water.

    two donkeys, arabic idiom, repetition "Repetition teaches the donkey."Photo credit: Canva

    Arabic

    "At-Tikraar yu’allem al-Himaar.”

    Literal translation: Repetition teaches the donkey.

    Practice makes perfect, but it especially does for donkeys. Animal-themed wisdom at its finest.

    German idiom, train station"I only understand train station."Photo credit: Canva

    German

    "Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof."

    Literal translation: I only understand train station.

    It's another way of saying “it’s all Greek to me.”

    The history of this one is a bit mysterious. One theory is that it originated from WWI soldiers who had only one thing on their mind after getting discharged: returning home. Meaning, they could only comprehend the train station that would lead them there. Others say it refers to tourists new to Germany who have really only learned the German word for “train station.” Which would indicate that everything else is foreign to them.

    And let’s not forget “nicht mein bier, nicht meine sorgen,” translating to “not my beer, not my worries.”

    (Fun fact: The term “not my circus, not my monkeys” actually stems from a Polish proverb, not an English saying at all.)

    norwegian idiom, liver, model of a human liver"To speak directly from the liver."Photo credit: Canva

    Norwegian

    “Å snakke rett fra leveren.”

    Literal translation: To speak directly from the liver.

    When you say something without sugar-coating it, you are speaking directly from the liver. This dates back to a time when the liver was thought to be the magical organ that produced courage. So speaking from the liver is just like speaking from the heart, only down and to the right a little.

    two horses, two tigers, chinese idiom"Horse horse, tiger tiger."Photo credit: Canva

    Chinese

    “Mama huhu.”

    Literal translation: Horse horse, tiger tiger.

    You can use it to say something is just okay. Not good, not bad, just … meh.

    As the story goes, a Chinese painter who, not very good at his craft, created a drawing of an animal that looked sort of like a tiger, and sort of like, you guessed it, a horse. That story actually has a tragic ending that serves as a cautionary tale against carelessness. But nowadays it takes on a lighter connotation.

    And like “comme ci, comme ca” in French, “horse horse, tiger tiger” isn’t quite as commonly spoken as non-native speakers would assume.

    Language continues to be an ever-evolving and always entertaining way to not only appreciate other cultures, but also note the similarities. Words might change slightly, but ultimately we're all expressing the same things.

    This article originally appeared three years ago.

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    Family

    Man hilariously calls out parents who give their babies 'old people names'

    “We aren’t naming babies. We’re naming people."

    @mannybuckley/TikTok, Photo credit: Canva

    Someone finally said what we're all thinking.

    Listen, baby name trends come and go. What was once a hip and cool name will eventually be seen as passé (this coming from someone with a name that is now obsolete, apparently), and names once thought of as old-fashioned will absolutely become cool again. It’s part of the circle of life, like the tides, the seasons, the rising and setting of the sun…accept it.

    In fact, this comeback is already happening. According to the Social Security Administration, vintage names like Theodore, Henry, Willam, Charlotte, Evelyn, and Emma are among the top ten most popular baby names of the moment. Jimmy Fallon’s daughters are named Winnie and Frances, for crying out loud.

    However, just because there’s been an uptick in names that harken you back to a time when “good show, old sport” was a common phrase, not everyone is on board. Recently, content creator Manny Buckley hilariously put into words what many of us think of these WWII-era names.

    In a clip posted to his TikTok, Buckley first savagely said, “Y’all went from naming all y’all’s kids Jayden, Cayden, and Aiden, Madison, Addison, and Addylyn to giving them all old people names.” He then recounted being on a train and hearing another call after her toddler, whose name was George.

    “Ma’am. George is a mechanic in his 60s and he can’t work on your car this week because his sugars is running high.” Where’s the lie?

    @mannybuckley

    What is this cycle of naming kids!? #names #naming #name

    He didn’t stop there, going on a lighthearted rant about the types of images certain now-popular names actually evoke, like Agnes (a “Florida retiree in her 70s who cannot leave the retirement home”), Ira (an “80 year old Jewish man”), Belinda (a “registered nurse who has been working in the field for 50 years”), and Clifford (a 85-year-old navy vet who needs “all y'all to be quiet”). Nary a kid sounding name in sight, if you ask him.

    babies, baby names, funny baby names, kids on rug, blocklsA group of toddlers in preschool.via Canva/Photos

    Although the video was clearly just a lighthearted jab, a few adults commented to defend the use of vintage names.

    “We aren’t naming babies. We’re naming people,” one top comment wrote, while another seconded, “Exactly! Some people don’t realize this. They are kids for a very short period of time, then they are adults.”

    Still, another quipped, “yeah, but they aren’t senior citizens forever either!” Another wrote “I’m Martha…I’ve been 80 since the first grade.”

    A few others, particularly teachers, chimed in with their own equally funny experience of kids having old fashioned names.

    I am a kindergarten teacher. I have Marjorie and Brenda. It’s like a 1950’s secretarial pool.

    I have kindergarteners named Edyth, Arthur, and Iris. They’re going to form a knitting club at recess.”

    “My nephew is Charles lmao and he may only be 2.5, but he is the school maintenance and everyone call uncle.”

    “We have Matilda and Cordelia, 4 and 2, shelling beans on the porch. Their nicknames are just as old as Tilly and Della. I love them, though.”

    babies, baby names, newbors, diapers, old-fashioned namesTwo babies in diapers.via Canva/Photos

    Some of the names that Manny called out may sound humorous, but the trend of using old-fashioned names is real. The Social Security Administration recently announced a list of old-fashioned names that have been making a comeback in the last year. Some of the biggest climbers were Rocky, Marjorie, Heath, Aabner, Lettie, Benny, Micah, Salome, and Carlo.

    And there you have it, folks. We have indeed come full circle. But is it any weirder than the thought of someone calling their Grandma Brittany? I think not.

    This article originally appeared in February.

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    Health

    How long can you hang from a bar? Researchers just found the optimal time for a long life

    Ironically, the move is called a "dead" hang.

    via Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels and Dinielle De Veyra/Pexels

    How long can you hang out? The answer may say a lot about your potential lifespan.

    Would you really want to know how long you have to live? On one hand, it’d probably inspire you to go out and complete your bucket list. On the other, it may be depressing to know just how many days you have left. Well, science has yet to discover a way to determine the average person's life expectancy, but some indicators can show whether someone is in danger of having their life cut short by deteriorating health.

    You could, if you were so inspired, shell out a bunch of money for fancy genetic and biological testing. Chasing immortality is all the rage with billionaires, so if you've got the money, you can find out an awful lot about how long you're likely to live.

    Or you could just hit the gym or local playground and find out for free.

    A study published by Clinical Interventions in Aging in 2019 determined that handgrip strength can be a reliable proxy for how long one has to live, or longevity.

    One of the best ways to judge handgrip strength is to time how long you can hang from a bar. To test your grip strength, find yourself a pull-up bar, whether at a gym or local park, take a deep breath, and start hanging. Don't worry, you don't need to be able to do a pull up!

    Ironically, the move is called a "dead hang." So-called, because you literally just hang there for as long as possible.

    The literature revealed that 30 seconds is a good target for women and 60 is an excellent goal for men.

    Therefore, if you go longer than the goal, you’re looking at a long life. But if you can’t quite get there, your life may be shorter than you’d like.

    longevity, aging, living long, getting older, seniors, dying, mortality, health, fitness, longevity testCats are undefeated in grip strength.Giphy

    Dr. Peter Attia, founder of Early Medical and author of Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity (2023), believes that grip strength is a great way to determine one’s overall health.

    “It's just a great proxy for overall body strength and muscle mass, but I think it's also a very functional form of strength,” he said on The Drive podcast. “Basically, everything in your upper body is mediated through your hands. And if your grip is weak, everything downstream of that is weak. When you watch someone who's got a weak grip deadlifting it's very difficult for them to deadlift correctly because they don't create a proper wedge."

    There are may ways to measure grip strength, but the dead hang is likely the simplest. When you think about it, it requires an incredible combination of shoulder mobility, spinal stability, core strength, and overall fitness. Not only are these all positive biological health markers, they're also all key to preventing falls as we get older.

    Regularly practicing the dead hang, on the other hand, has incredible benefits including stretching your muscles and deloading your joints and spine, giving them a much needed rest.

    - YouTubewww.youtube.com

    Doctors Eve M. Glazier and Elizabeth Ko at UCLA Health say poor grip strength is connected to numerous diseases. “Research continues to link a decline in grip strength to a range of adverse health issues, including heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis, Type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. It has also been found to be a predictor of the likelihood of post-surgical complications, post-surgical recovery time and mortality,” they wrote on the UCLA Health blog.

    Weight can also significantly affect how long a person can hang from a bar. So, do lighter people have an unfair advantage over those on the heavier side? Well, weight is also an important indicator of longevity. A study published in Aging Cellfound a direct correlation between increased body mass and decreased longevity.

    Other studies have elaborated on the findings: More important than your absolute grip strength and dead hang ability may be how it changes over time. Losing grip strength is a negative sign for your overall health, but maintaining or even building it is associated with better outcomes.

    Another good reason to hit the gym regularly, at any age. No matter where you're starting, you want to do everything you can to maintain that level of strength as long as possible.

    The good news for people who didn’t quite make their hang time goal is that you can improve it by practicing dead hangs.


    longevity, aging, living long, getting older, seniors, dying, mortality, health, fitness, longevity testPracticing dead hangs will help you maintain grip strength no matter what your starting point. Photo by Charlotte Karlsen on Unsplash

    How to perform a dead hang (according to Healthline):

    • Use a secure overhead bar. Use a step or bench to reach the bar with your arms easily. You don’t want to jump straight into a dead hang.
    • Grip the bar with an overhand grip (palms facing away from you). Aim to keep your arms shoulder-width apart.
    • Move your feet off the step or bench so you’re hanging on to the bar.
    • Keep your arms straight and stay relaxed.
    • If you’re new to the exercise, hang for 10 seconds. Then, work your way up to 45 seconds to 1 minute at a time.
    • Slowly step back onto the step or bench before releasing your arms. Repeat up to 3 times if you wish.
    Grip strength is so strongly correlated with longevity that many medical professionals advocate for it being considered a true biomarker. A biomarkers is a regularly measured state of the body that's used as a key health indicator, like blood pressure or cholesterol. Grip strength, some say, should be regularly evaluated at medical check ups as an indicator of healthy aging.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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