Having a baby can be painful. Life after shouldn't have to be.
A new recommendation urges medical providers to screen new mothers for depression.
"I was like, 'Hey, I'm having postpartum depression.' I went to my OB, and he kind of brushed me off."
Almost immediately, Heidi Koss knew something wasn't right. The psychology major was experiencing some of the symptoms of postpartum depression and sought help. Sadly, it was hard to come by.
She went to her obstetrician/gynecologist only to be told she needed to "get out more" and maybe "buy a nice dress." She wasn't being heard. She wasn't being taken seriously.
"I kind felt like help was unavailable to me," she says.
She loved her baby, but she didn't love motherhood. Heidi recognized the symptoms of postpartum depression right away. Photo by Heidi Koss, used with permission.
Her postpartum depression continued on, untreated, for 17 months.
For those who've never experienced depression, it may be hard to understand what it's like to feel the symptoms compound over time. Heidi had nightmares, she felt scared, and she was irritable. The more time passed, the worse it got.
"And while I bonded to my baby and I loved my baby, I wasn't enjoying motherhood," she said. "It was a nightmare becoming a mother even though I loved my child."
It wasn't an issue of not bonding with her baby. She did. It was the depression, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, and fear that kept her from keeping calm. Photo by Heidi Koss, used with permission.
Her story isn't at all out of the ordinary. Pregnancy-related depression is very common.
According to Postpartum Support International, between 15% and 21% of women experience moderate to severe symptoms of depression or anxiety during pregnancy. Roughly 21% experience depression after birth. In fact, at that rate, mood and anxiety disorders are one of the most common pregnancy-related complications.
"It was a nightmare becoming a mother even though I loved my child."
Various studies have found that untreated depression and anxiety leave potentially lasting negative effects on parents and children.
That nightmare Heidi went through with her first doctor? It should never happen, but now it should happen much, much less.
The U.S. Preventative Services Task Force, an independent review board, in early 2016 issued some new, potentially lifesaving guidelines for depression screening. Here's what that means:
- All adults should be screened for depression (including pregnant women and new moms).
- Treatment should be made available for people who test positive.
This may not seem like a big deal, but it is. As Heidi's story illustrates, even when mothers actively sought help, it was sometimes denied. Now, hopefully, screening for depression will become a routine part of pregnancy, and new mothers won't face that same struggle.
"I think it's imperative to do early screening with every single mother every single time," Heidi tells me. Photo by Heidi Koss, used with permission.
Having a treatment plan in place ahead of her second pregnancy made all the difference in the world for Heidi.
Knowing she was at risk — mothers affected by mood and anxiety disorders are more likely to develop them during future pregnancies — she took preemptive measures before and during her second pregnancy, such as receiving therapy and medication to help ease the transition. Shortly after giving birth, symptoms of depression returned. Luckily for her, she had the right people and care providers in place.
"With my first, it took 17 months before I found an appropriate care provider who actually listened and got me into appropriate treatment. ... 17 months is a world of difference."
Not only will new guidelines help prepare doctors, but they'll also reduce stigma that surrounds depression.
In 1996, a National Mental Health Association survey found that the majority of Americans "think of depression as a sign of personal or emotional weakness." Other studies have shown a belief that seeking therapy or medication to treat depression or anxiety is a sign of poor character. Medically, these beliefs are flat-out wrong. Even so, they may deter people from seeking treatment.
If doctors roll depression screening into the battery of tests that accompany pregnancy, they will help normalize and reduce the stigma associated with it.(And, you know, it ensures that they're equipped to help out in these types of situations, as well.) Other tests can be self-administered, such as the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale.
This was a huge step forward in identifying and treating an all-too-common complication.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.