It's a problem a lot of couples face.
The marital bed is a symbol of the intimacy shared between people who’ve decided to be together 'til death they do part. When couples sleep together it’s an expression of their closeness and how they care for one another when they are most vulnerable.
However, for some couples, the marital bed can be a warzone. Throughout the night couples can endure snoring, sleep apnea, the ongoing battle for sheets or circadian rhythms that never seem to sync. If one person likes to fall asleep with the TV on while the other reads a book, it can be impossible to come to an agreement on a good-night routine.
Last week on TODAY, host Carson Daly reminded viewers that he and his wife Siri, a TODAY Food contributor, had a sleep divorce while she was pregnant with their fourth child.
“I was served my sleep-divorce papers a few years ago,” he explained on TODAY. “It’s the best thing that ever happened to us. We both, admittedly, slept better apart.”
“We're both pretty good-sized humans and it just wasn't really working when she was in her third trimester, and I also have sleep apnea, which is very sexy for the ladies out there, I'm sure,” Carson told People at the time. “She couldn't get comfortable, so we were like a commercial you would see, kicking each other and just not sleeping.
“We woke up and we just shook hands like, ‘I love you, but it's time to sleep divorce. It'll be the best thing for all of us,’” he added.
The Dalys’ admission was brave, being that a lot of people associate a couple’s intimacy with their ability to share a bed together. It was probably also a relief to countless couples who feel like they’re the only ones struggling to sleep together.
Upworthy’s Heather Wake described the stress that co-sleeping put on her relationship in a revealing article earlier this year.
\u201cCould a "sleep divorce" save your relationship?\n\n@DrOz joins us to share how the growing trend can actually help keep the love alive.\u201d— TODAY (@TODAY) 1573133783
A sleep divorce may be working for the Dalys, but is it right for everyone?
Wendy M. Troxel Ph.D., a behavioral and social scientist known for her work on sleep and health, believes that couples like the Dalys do right by putting their relationship first.
“Here’s what the science actually tells us about the costs and benefits of sleeping together or apart. When sleep is measured objectively, people actually sleep worse with a partner. In fact, if you sleep with someone who snores, you can blame them for up to 50 percent of your sleep disruptions,” she wrote for TED Ideas.
Troxel points out that even when people suffer from sleep deprivation due to their partner, they still say they prefer sleeping with them versus spending the night alone. She ascribed this opinion to people taking on societal expectations instead of looking at their relationship objectively. “This suggests that our social brain is prioritizing our need for closeness and security at night—even when it comes at a cost to our sleep,” she wrote for TED Ideas.
The Dalys’ admission and Troxel’s research suggest that, in the end, the most important thing is for both partners to get a good night’s sleep, whether that means sleeping in separate beds or in separate rooms. “Just as sleeping together doesn’t guarantee a successful relationship—if only it were that easy!—sleeping apart doesn’t doom you to an unsuccessful one,” Troxel writes.
Trusted Housesitters: Vacation pet sitting with love.
Take some time away, meet new furry friends, and experience a place different from your home. Trusted Housesitters is on a mission to help connect animal-lovers who love to travel with other animal-lovers who love to travel. It seems like a match made in heaven, doesn't it? Well, if you're looking to visit some place new and need a pet-sitter or want to visit some place new and pet-sit, then Trusted Housesitters is the site for you. Here's how it works:
Let's first say that you're someone looking to travel someplace different and stay for FREE (which let's be honest, who isn't looking for this?). Visit the Trusted Housesitters site and create a profile. Upload tons of pictures, sitter qualifications and little insights into your personality. Then, start applying for sits! It's that easy! People from around the world looking to leave their furry companions for a few days or weeks will browse your application and if they think you're a fit they'll reach out and set up a video call.
Next you travel, arrive at your new home, hang with furry friends and spend some time in a new place! Stays range from homes with a pool in Scottsdale, Arizona, to farmhouses in Austin, Texas and even cabins in Big Sky, Montana. It's a great way to get in touch with local life and perhaps even find that pet-shaped hole in your heart.
But what if you're a paw-rent who's looking to get away for a few days? Well, the process is the same, but reversed. After you create your account you list your home along with your tentative travel dates. Sitters from around the world then apply to watch your fur-babies. After reviewing their accounts and qualifications, you set up a video call to make sure you're a good fit. And the best part is you know your leaving your home and your fur-baby in good-hands while you're away.
Each of the sitters is vetted through the site and undergoes background checks, ID verification and a call to ensure that they meet the guidelines set by the site. Owners and sitters are both reviewed at the end of each vacation so the community of Trusted Housesitters maintains transparency and quality standards. It's a safe, modern, cool way to travel and takes the anxiety out of leaving your fur-babies behind.
So what are you waiting for? Your next vacation could be right around the corner! Sign up today and start looking.
Upworthy has earned revenue through a partnership and/or may earn a portion of sales revenue from purchases made through links on our site.
Finally, they get to play!
Here at Upworthy we look for stories that will make you smile and warm your heart and, let’s face it, we could all use a little help in the smile department these days. When we ran across this ridiculously sweet story on The Dodo about a golden retriever and his little human sister, we simply had to share it with you. Taco is a 3-year-old golden retriever who has been lovingly waiting for his new baby sister, Vanora, to be able to play with him, and the day has finally come.
Claudia Hughes is the proud mom of the furry pup and his squishy human sibling. She told The Dodo that Taco has been smitten with Vanora since she came home from the hospital. “When we would lay her down on the floor or our bed, Taco would just lay down next to her,” Hughes said. That’s one attentive pup. Pet parents know there’s nothing more comforting than your fur baby looking out for your human baby.
Hughes told The Dodo that the pooch would even get up for late-night feedings. Now that’s just beyond sweet. It’s no wonder the pup was itching for his playmate to get big enough to actually play with, and his reaction to his doggy dreams coming true is pure joy. The video of Taco seeing his toddler sibling taking some of her first steps has amassed more than 2 million likes on TikTok. Finally his sister can run around with him! Finally he can teach her the fun of having a dog for a big brother. Finally he gets to play! At least, that’s what I think he was thinking from his excited reaction.
And how do we know dogs are excited? Well, they get the zoomies, and if you’ve never been able to witness the absolute unadulterated joy of the zoomies, just check out his reaction in the video. If he could talk he would have probably screamed “I’m so excited!!!” with more explanation points than allowed by my editor.
It’s fun having each other 🐾👶🏻. #dogsandbabies #goldensandbabies #babiesoftiktok #dogsoftiktokviral #SmoothLikeNitroPepsi
According to Hughes, Taco first started getting excited when he saw Vanora take steps in her walker, and more so when he saw her pushing the walker. But his excitement went off the charts when she could actually take steps unassisted. Don’t worry though, he was sure to keep his distance so as not to knock her down. He’s such a good doggy brother. Hughes told The Dodo, “We have shown Vanora that we hug Taco, we pet him gently and we give him kisses on his head.” She went on to say, “But if we get mad at him, we don’t hit him.”
It looks like both Taco and Vanora have learned important lessons in kindness. Soon Vanora will be the one cheering and praising Taco when he’s a good boy, but until then, we here at Upworthy want to tell Taco that he’s the goodest boy and he deserves all of the head pats. Good boy, Taco!