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Former gang members are helping to end violence in L.A. through an awesome program.

Ex-gang members are taking their community back, one relationship at a time.

While growing up in Southwest Houston post-Rodney King, I heard a lot about the turbulence and gang violence taking place in South Central Los Angeles.  

All images used with permission from "License to Operate."

Shows like "A Different World" and movies like John Singleton's "Boyz n the Hood"showcased the impact of gang violence and the unrest between communities of color and police.


This was the post-Jim Crow era, and black people were being pushed to the poorest corners of large cities, areas that funneled the worst drugs to a group of people already struggling to survive. With the rise of the cocaine epidemic, a push for economic improvement, and a desire for brotherhood, many young black men felt forced to join gangs.

I listened to my mostly black neighbors talk about making sure the young men in our community focused on school and work, rather than falling into what was seen as an unforgivable gang lifestyle.

But for people living in L.A., getting out of those lethal neighborhoods wasn't as easy as just going to class on time or getting an education. For the thousands of young black men who lost their lives to guns during the '80s and '90s, there were few ways out.

Aquil Basheer remembers feeling forced into gang life as a teenager.

"To get people out of the gang life, you have to show them that there's something more out there," said Basheer. "When I was coming up, that something more didn't exist."

Basheer was born in Pacoima, a neighborhood in Los Angeles. He got involved with gangs as a teenager, but a short stint in gangbanging led him to a life he eventually realized he didn't want. He narrowly escaped a prison sentence thanks to some influential role models, but he says many of his friends got life in prison or ended up buried.

For many, seeing a family member killed or losing a loved one too soon can change everything. For Basheer, it wasn't a single incident that changed everything, but rather a variety of experiences that came together to make a big issue clear to him: The city he loved was becoming unrecognizable.

Eventually, Basheer and other former gang members decided that enough was enough.

The city they knew and loved was now a breeding ground for terror. And it wasn't just their male friends who were in danger either. Now, mothers were dying — and grandmothers and children. Boundaries no longer existed, and Basheer knew that he and others had played a large role in developing that culture.

"We had to bring an [option] to the table that would get individuals away from their mindset that [this type of] life was the way to go," Basheer says.

Basheer noticed that lots of gang members wanted to change, particularly when they hit their 30s. As people matured, they wanted a safer city for their own children.

"When people start having children and when they see that their brothers and sisters are at risk, they reevaluate things and start wanting to make some major changes," Basheer said.

But to do so, they needed someone with street credibility to step in and act as a mentor.

The former gang members got together and developed a gang interventionist group.

The middle-aged men — once some of the most feared men walking the streets — decided that their children and their community deserved better. Instead of searching for help outside the community, the men looked inward to figure out how to instill peace and restoration to a city that needed it.

In 2006, the community organizers came together and developed what they called the Professional Community Intervention Training Institute (PCITI).

The plan was simple: First, they brought in a group of community elders. These men and women would act as an anchor to people in a community in crisis, such as mothers who lost sons and children who lost classmates.

By training these elders how to deal with trauma and assist in stopping gang violence, safety nets are created. Going into the community to get a larger grasp of the needs isn't as difficult as it was before.

"It's operational protocol," Basheer said. "You have to create a whole new nexus for them to attach themselves to, to get away from their normal of gang culture — the thought they have to be better than the next."

Then, most importantly, these community elders show volunteers and workers how to navigate a given neighborhood, how to mediate in stressful issues, and how to create real conflict resolution that works.

It’s this dedication to conflict resolution that is sparking a rebirth in the city’s most plagued communities.  

According to the organization,PCITI has a 93% success rate, meaning that many who were caught up in gang life are now actively working toward other options.

On a human level, PCITI has managed to grow relationships with young people in the community, which is where the real change is starting to happen. Finding at-risk gang members isn't exactly difficult, Basheer says, because most don't hide their affiliation — instead, they brag about it.  

And rather than making exiting a gang the main goal, Basheer's team works to show gang members there are other options, a concept that hasn't necessarily been taught to many living in impoverished areas.    

To understand how drastic this improvement is, you have to know a bit about L.A.'s gang history.

Los Angeles has long been hailed as the "gang capital" of America. Currently, there are believed to be 450 active gangs in the city — many of which have existed for over 50 years. Collectively, it's estimated that 45,000 individuals have been members. During the late '80s to the early '90s, almost 1,000 people died due to homicide in Los Angeles every year.

It's no secret that black and Latino men were — and still are — particularly susceptible to gang violence. In 1996, 46% of all gang members identified as Hispanic or Latino, and 35% were black. And 79% of large cities reported gang problems from 2008 to 2012.  

While Basheer’s program is certainly a pleasant addition to the city, it’s just one piece to a very complicated puzzle that continues to take lives.

Even though gang violence was steadily declining during the early 2000s, L.A. recently saw its highest rise in gang violence since 2009. LAPD data showed that almost 60% of homicides were gang-related, putting a damper on an already struggling city.  

But that’s exactly why Basheer and others keep going: They know that the road to peace and stability is never smooth. Instead, it’s often turbulent and complicated.

“These are everyday people that are part of the solution,” said Basheer. “They aren’t necessarily police officers or firemen. They’re citizens that want to improve lives in their communities.”

Basheer has also taken this plan to various communities in South Africa and Europe.

Most recently, he spoke at a UN conference focused on bringing safety to some of the world's largest cities.

"Surprisingly, the international communities get it and are way more on task than [American] urban cities," Basheer said.

He's also gotten involved with the Black Lives Matter movement, and he says this is what shows him the plan has strong potential; if his program works, the template has to be able to be replicated in other besieged areas too.

Community policing is important and effective — and it could be one of our best ways forward.

After documenting Basheer's movement in the documentary "License to Operate," producer Mike Wallen says he was surprised by how well this system was working.

“I felt like I was from an open-thinking, progressive family, but you don’t know what you don’t know,” said Wallen, who grew up in L.A. After taking on the film production pro bono, he got heavily involved with the interventionists and says he listened more than he spoke.

“It’s really important that we all care about this, whether we’re directly affected or not," Wallen said.

As distrust continues between communities of color and police, Wallen is right: Programs like this are key. It's important for people to see familiar faces in positions of authority. Engaging both parties to create solutions is a tool that everyone can work toward sharpening.

"The goal is to create sustainable communities, which are violence free, that can create their own version of sustainability," Basheer said.

The bottom line is that gang violence is a complicated issue.

But the best way to combat it might be the most basic and the most emotional: reaching out to others in your community to promote human connection, support, and mentorship.

Many young people join gangs because of the respect that comes with it and the sense of community they find. And, certainly, one solution will not fix a decades-long problem. With more people like Basheer in the mix, it is definitely possible to create a culture in which gang violence becomes a thing of the past.

Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

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Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

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In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

Health

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults. The symptoms may be surprising.

"75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety."

Doctor breaks down how to recognize ADHD in adults

If it seems that everyone is being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), there may be a reason and it's likely not the reason people think. Diagnostic criteria were initially based off of how ADHD presented in white children who were mostly male, so if you fell outside of that box your diagnosis was often overlooked. This is especially true in girls who then turned into undiagnosed or misdiagnosed women.

But it's not just women who were undiagnosed since the criteria mostly included ways in which hyperactivity showed up—you know, the "H" in ADHD. But not everyone with ADHD presents with the stereotypical hyperactivity bit. Dr. Heather Brannon breaks down ways in which ADHD is missed and how to identify it in adults.

In the first few minutes of the video, Brannon drops a statistic that feels mind-boggling: "75% of adults with anxiety actually have ADHD as the cause of their anxiety." Even though I fit into that category, consider my mind completely boggled because I thought I was a rarity and my psychiatrist was a magician. Turns out, he was probably just up to date on his continuing education credits.

Brannon talks about how people who may express feelings of overwhelm, anxiousness, and tiredness and who are easily frustrated may actually have undiagnosed ADHD.

It's pretty easy to overlook ADHD that presents with more of the attention deficit part of the diagnosis than the hyperactivity part. When someone is having difficulty sitting still, talking so fast that you can barely keep up and is constantly on the go, it's pretty easy to pinpoint there may be an issue.

But when the person is quiet, sits still but misses large chunks of conversations or is chronically forgetful and sleepy, it's much easier to miss the signs, according to Brannon.

Brannon says many people feel bad about themselves without knowing why, so having an answer for why you're feeling this way can be helpful.

The video is really fascinating and may help others recognize signs within themselves or with loved ones.

Give it a gander below:

This article originally appeared last year.

Here's the ultimate holiday gift guide for picky relatives

Shopping for holiday gifts can be exhausting in general but there are a few groups of people that make picking out gifts even more challenging. Those groups are the people who already have everything, teenage boys and people that tend to be a little persnickety when it comes to gifts. This doesn't mean that they don't want to receive gifts, they're just a little trickier to please.

So how are you supposed to shop for the persnickety present receiver? The truth is, unless they're shopping for themselves you'll never quite know if you've found them the perfect gift. But there are a few gift ideas that might help you get a little closer to putting a genuine smile on their face, you just might have to do a little detective work to personalize it to their liking.

Whether you have time for sleuthing or not, here are some quick gift ideas for the picky present person in your family that might make them feel like you didn't give up on trying to make their holiday special.

Santa Claus Abc GIF by HULUGiphy

Gifts that make them feel bonita

There's nothing like getting to feel pampered for a little while or the feeling of something luxurious against your skin. If you've got a few extra coupons, reward points or some extra money to spend splurging on making that hard to shop for person feel special, spring for a something with a little more pizazz.

1. Something leather or cashmere

This can be anything from a nice wallet, handbag, a beautiful scarf or shawl. Nothing says luxurious like the smell of real leather or the feel of cashmere. You don't have to break the bank either. Utilize your store reward points, find something clearance or stick to the smaller items but have them packaged professionally at the store to add to the experience and feel of luxury.

Cbs Christmas GIF by HULUGiphy

2. A fancy tea or coffee sampler

These high-end samplers usually already come in pretty packaging so you should be safe to just toss it in a gift bag and zhuzh up the tissue paper. If you know they're a tea or coffee enthusiast, you can take it a step further by doing a subscription from their favorite brand.

3. Indulgent bath products

We aren't talking Bath & Body Works here. We're talking things like French milled soaps with a creamy lather and light scents that make you feel like you're walking along side lilacs. Handmade bath bombs, lotions and scented candles from a local artisan who carefully crafts each individual item.

Charlie Brown Dancing GIFGiphy

4. The gift of books

If you know the person you're buying for is an avid reader, you can try to find an autographed copy or first edition of their favorite book. You can also buy them an upgraded e-reader with one of the latest book from their favorite author downloaded on it. Or if you know they love to read but just don't know what books they love, purchasing a gift card to the local bookstore in their town could go a long way.

Gifts to make them feel seen

Some of the best gifts are the ones that let people in your life know that you notice them. It's not always something fancy and expensive, sometimes it's the extra care when picking it out that counts the most. That can lead to amazing gift exchanges of uniquely personalized gifts.

Christmas Tree Art GIF by Tyler RestyGiphy

5. Artwork can speak to people

Finding a local artist that has unique artwork that can't be picked up at a chain store can feel extra special. Not only are you supporting a local artist, but you're also proving that you've paid attention to the type of art the gift receiver likes.

6. Personalized keepsake

Maybe this particular family member lost a pet or person close to them. You can get a custom portrait painted of them and their loved one. There are also companies that make teddy bears out of old clothes complete with a little voice memo from the deceased loved one pulled from old voicemails or home videos.

7. A full belly

A gourmet food basket could do the trick for that picky relative. They're filled with all sorts of artisan cheese and delicacies for those who enjoy high-end snacking. There are also companies that will do a subscription for foods and snacks from around the world that can be perfect for trying new things.

Give them the gift of experiences

If you're feeling extra generous, gifting an experience can be a big winner for the hard to please person. It doesn't have to be a trip to Martha's Vineyard or Paris to count as an experience, though if you have that kind of gift giving money, go for it. But there are plenty of smaller things that would fill the role of an experience gift.

Christmas Wow GIF by DrSquatchSoapCoGiphy

8. A spay day

This does not mean you necessarily have to splurge on a full day at the spa doing all of the services they have to offer. Plenty of spas have massage packages that allow the participant to spend as much time as they'd like enjoying amenities like the sauna, jacuzzi and steam room. Of course you can always spring for a full spa package that includes a facial, manicure, pedicure and more. The options are fairly extensive.

9. Tickets to something they want to see

Whether it's a musical, play or one of their favorite bands, gifting a pair of tickets is a fantastic option for a gift. This is also one that requires a little detective work on your part if you don't have this sort of information handy from the interactions you have with them. Once you know what they've been dying to see or hear, grab a pair of tickets and put them in a fancy gift box for them to unwrap. They'll be thrilled.

Happy Merry Christmas GIF by LifetimeGiphy

10. Cooking classes

No, that's not telling them that you think they're a terrible cook, though if they are a terrible cook this may not be the gift for them. But if you're confident that they enjoy cooking, gifting them cooking classes for Italian, French or some other cuisine could be a fun experience for them to have. Come on, who wouldn't want to tell people they make their own pasta from scratch after learning it from an Italian chef?

Pleasing everyone during any time of the year is impossible but that unlikelihood increases exponentially when it comes to holiday gift giving. Some people will always be Visa gift card gifts because you've tried everything in the book to try to ensure they like their gift to no avail. But the hope is that something on this list does the trick or sparks an idea that may be perfect for that difficult gift receiver in your family. Just remember that in the end, spending time with people you love is the goal, not who gave the best gift.

Two people having a conversation at a party.

Many people, especially those who are introverted and shy, are uncomfortable making small talk with someone new, whether they’re at a party, work event, or just standing in line at the grocery store. However, a Harvard study revealed a simple 3-step trick to make you more likable and conversations more comfortable.

The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors write. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

How do I make new people like me?

The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.

According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it’s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.

via Nicole Michalou/Pexels

“Think to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It’s easy to do, and — even better — requires almost no preparation,” Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.

People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. “Follow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,” the researchers write.

The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that’s not the case.

conversation, introverts, harvardTwo people talking at a party.via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

“The tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,” the study’s authors wrote, adding that “redirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.”

It’s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they’ll like you more. “Compared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,” Brooks said. “This strategy does both. It’s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.”

One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a “yes I want to see you again” on one more date.

The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you're having a conversation, not an interrogation. “Asking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,” Brooks says.

party, conversastion tips, harvardSome folks having fun at a party.via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

How much should I talk in a conversation?

While it’s important to ask questions when you meet someone new, you can’t let them do all the talking. Research shows that the perfect conversation ratio is 43:57. You do 43% of the talking and 57% of the listening. The goal is to make your conversation partner and new friend think, “Wow, that person really gets me” by the time the conversation ends.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, you can feel a bit more relaxed knowing there is a scientifically proven way to ensure that people will find you likable and a good conversationalist. Remember the three-question rule: Open with a question and then ask 2 follow-ups.


This article originally appeared in September.

Her blind sister was missing out on the holiday spirit, so she had a brilliant gift wrap idea

"She’s always a little sad that she can’t see the lights or gift wrap."

Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash
gold and white gift box

The holiday season capitalizes on all things light, bright and sparkly--something that Reddit user 1228maj's blind sister has missed out on. So in a touching post shared on the social media platform, she explained how she plans to make this year's holiday extra special and inclusive: enter puffy paint.

"My sister is blind. This year I’m making her Christmas wrap tactile with puffy paint!" she captioned her post. She accompanied it with a photo of wrapped gift in red, white and blue snowman wrapping paper. The photo shows the raised texture outlining the shape and details of the snowman, as well as snowflakes by the thoughtful sibling.


"She’s always a little sad that she can’t see the lights or gift wrap so this [year] I’m making it tactile for her as a surprise! I’m also going to use a velvety bow so that is tactile too," she added, describing her sister as her "best friend for almost 30 years now. She’s the best older sis ever!"

The post garnered resounding praise for the strong sisterly love.

"This is what the holidays are all about, thoughtful gestures filled with love," another Redditor commented. And another added, "This is such a thoughtful idea! You’re bringing the magic of Christmas to her in a way that truly matters. She’s so lucky to have you!"

And a number of blind Redditors also chimed in. "As someone who is blind, that’s amazing!" one wrote. And another commented, "I love this so much. As a fellow human on the blindness spectrum, I touch EVERYTHING! You are an incredible sibling for doing this.

When asked what she got her sister for a gift, 1228maj replied that it's also a well-textured gift. "It’s a slate blue wrap/jacket kind of thing from a Christmas market we go to," she wrote. "It’s woven with silkier threads making a paisley design and a thick golden-yellow wool yarn running through it in places. It’s really cool looking and feeling!"

The description spawned further questions from Redditors about her sister's vision and if she could see colors, "so 1228maj kindly explained her sister's journey into blindness.

"Growing up, she was legally blind but still had minimal vision (no vision in one eye and reduced field and very fuzzy view in the other) so she could see colors, especially if there was high contrast," she explained. "A few years ago though she had an infection in her eye that took the remainder of her vision. She actually still ‘sees’ colors and shapes in her minds eye. She describes it as a built in screen saver haha."

Another user asked if 1228maj had ever considered working with an adaptive clothing company. She shared that she is a music teacher, however she has learned everything from her sister about helping those who are visually impaired. "My sister works for the state to support visually impaired students, so I learned everything I know about adaptations from her!" she added.

The thread soon became a discussion of other thoughtful tactile touches to add to the wrapping, including using pom poms as ornaments on Christmas trees, snowflake 3D stickers, and small pipe cleaners to use for arms on some of the snowmen on the wrapping paper.

The finishing touch for the present? "I’m planning to braille the card I’ll put on before I give it to her :)," she wrote.

lillyphillipstokk/TikTok & Josh Pieters/YouTube

In the absence of proper sex education in many parts of the country, more and more people are turning to online pornography to learn how things work. In that case, people will be very interested to hear about the curious case of Lily Phillips. The 23-year-old OnlyFans star recently took on an ambitious, if a little gross, challenge: She was going to sleep with 100 men in just 24 hours.

Lily spent months "training" for the stunt, and on the big day, invited a documentary filmmaker along to record what was sure to be a wild journey. The guys were recruited through Lily's large fanbase and flew in to meet her from all over the world. During the stunt, they would take turns coming into the room where they would make small talk, hang their clothes up, and have about 2-3 minutes each with Lily.

One guy brought a single rose.

The most interesting part of filmmaker Josh Pieter's documentary, however, is the aftermath. Immediately afterwards, Lily told the film crew she was feeling physically fine. But anyone watching can clearly see that she is physically and, more importantly, emotionally exhausted.

"It's not for the weak girls, if I'm honest. It was hard, I don't know if I'd recommend it." She then gets emotional trying to describe the intensity of the experiment and has to walk off camera to collect herself.


Lily Phillips crying and collecting herself while being interviewed by documentary crewJosh Pieters/YouTube

Lily eventually opened up and said the thing that got to her was the awkwardness of some of the interactions, how uncomfortable it was at times and feeling pressure to show the guys "a good time," worrying that some of them didn't like her or were disappointed in the experience, or in her. Some of the men guilted her for not spending more time with them or not fulfilling certain expectations they had going in.

I know, I know. It's hard to feel too bad for her knowing she came up with this idea on her own to grow her business and willingly participated. But hearing her reflect on the aftermath is a surprisingly human and affecting moment. Most non-adult stars will, obviously, never attempt such a stunt. But the emotions Lily was feeling at the end of the day still seem awfully relatable to us regular human-beings.

Even the documentary director was surprised by Lily's reaction. "I certainly didn't expect to see Lily so upset at the end of it all," Josh Pieters said. "I thought perhaps in years to come she might look back on this day in sadness, but not so instantly afterwards."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Casual sex has its upsides for some people, but it's emotionally fraught for all parties and has been linked to negative mental health outcomes.

It might be a stretch to call an OnlyFans content stunt "casual sex," but there's a lot we can learn by the end of Lily and Josh's documentary. VerywellMind writes that casual hookups can damage your health in many different ways. There's a risk of disappointment, regret, damaged self-esteem, depression, embarrassment, and more.

Even a so-called professional can't escape some of these emotions! So us normies have to be really careful. It's not that hookups are inherently bad, but a lot of people jump into them without setting expectations, communicating well, and properly thinking through how they're going to feel at the end.

This is a big reason younger generations like Gen Z have been moving away from the casual dating and hooking up culture previous generations were big on.

Global Dating Insights writes that young people report "feeling burnt out, anxious, and disconnected after engaging in short-term flings or casual hookups" and are more likely to seek platonic or long-term romantic relationships — though there are other factors involved in this shift, as well.

A 28-year-old woman told the LA Times, "“[Not having sex] helps me relax,” she said. “It’s not that I don’t care about how I look or how I come off to other people. But I have a little extra help caring less about it, because I don’t have to worry about attracting specific kinds of people for specific things.”

A 21-year-old wrote in to Men's Health curious why everyone he met seemed to only want a romantic relationship or be "demisexual," which means they only feel attraction to someone after forming a strong emotional connection.

It's fascinating to see the pendulum start to swing in the opposite direction as become more aware of some of the mental-health downsides to a practice that has been commonplace for decades.

At the end of the day, feelings aside, the stunt was a huge success for Lily in terms of exposure and content. So much so that she quickly announced a new plan to break the world record for sexual partners in a 24 hour span by trying to reach 1,000 — the current record, for anyone wondering, is 919 set in 2004.

Good luck, we think?