Ever heard of union hero Joe Hill? He's missing from most history books today.

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Joe Hill remains a legend and an inspiration today.

If you're a fan of folk music or lyrics about working people, you might be familiar with the song "Joe Hill."

The song, originally written as a poem by Alfred Hayes, has been performed for decades by the likes of Paul Robeson, Joan Baez (at Woodstock in 1969), Phil Ochs, and Billy Bragg.

Among the more memorable renditions is a version by Bruce Springsteen, who plays it here. Go ahead and start it playing while you read about who Joe Hill really was.

The song's lyrics recall a dream where Joe Hill, a workers' hero who was likely framed on a murder charge and sentenced to death, returns in a seemingly spectral form, symbolizing the spirit of the labor movement.

"I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, But Joe, you're 10 years dead
I never died, says he
I never died, says he..."

Joe Hill isn't a fictional character. He was a poet, songwriter, and a union activist.

(He also inspired the famous union phrase "Don't mourn, organize!" — but more on that later.)

Born Joel Emmanuel Hägglund, he came to the U.S. from Sweden in the early 1900s with the hopes of finding work. He adapted to his new home by changing his name to Joseph Hillstrom, which he later shortened to Joe Hill once he began to write songs.

Upon arrival in New York City, he sought employment as a migrant laborer but found opportunities sporadic and sometimes nonexistent. This sparked his interest in a labor union, which would give him and his coworkers a voice on the job no matter where they worked.

Image in public domain.

He found his calling when he discovered the Industrial Workers of the World (IWW).

One of the IWW rallying cries was "one big union," and its goal was uniting every working person worldwide into one union. That sat very well with Hill.

Having been raised in a musical family, he began writing songs, poems, and powerful speeches after joining the IWW. He became the resident lyricist and a frequent cartoonist.

Hill wrote songs about all different types of IWW members, from immigrant factory and railway workers to itinerant laborers moving across the country from job to job. His songs inspired people — and still do today.

His popularity grew when the IWW published the first version of its "Little Red Songbook" in 1909. The musical collection, bearing the subtitle "Songs to Fan the Flames of Discontent," was made up mostly of Hill's compositions.

The first edition of "The Little Red Songbook." Image by Hunter Gray.

It included the song "There Is Power in a Union" about ... well, power in a union, and "The Preacher and the Slave," about how religion causes people to fight for things in heaven rather than on earth:

You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die
[Crowd shouts, "That's a lie!"]

(This is, in fact, where the phrase "pie in the sky" was born.)

Hill would show up at picket lines and strikes across the country, getting the crowd energized and resolute.

His activism drew the attention of authorities, too.

In June 1913, he was arrested for "vagrancy" during a dockworkers strike in San Pedro, California, and put in jail for 30 days. The real reason for the incarceration, according to Hill, was that he "was a little too active to suit the chief of the burg."

So, Hill was on the radar of cops and politicians who didn't want to see unions establishing a presence in their towns. He may have been even more worrisome to authorities than other union leaders since he could energize the workers and reinforce their solidarity with song.

Cover of "The Rebel Girl" by Joe Hill. First published in "The Little Red Songbook," it was released as sheet music in 1915. Image in public domain.

But one cold night in 1914, a turn of events made Joe Hill's name internationally known.

Hill, who was in Salt Lake City to work in the mines, knocked on a doctor's door at 11:30 p.m., needing treatment for a gunshot wound to his chest.

Hill told the doctor he had been shot by a rival suitor for a woman's affection — he never did tell anybody her name.

On that same night, a former police officer named John Morrison, now a grocery store owner, and one of his sons were killed by two people who didn't rob the store.

The murders appeared to be motivated by revenge, perhaps a holdover from Morrison's previous career. Another of Morrison's sons witnessed the shooting and stated that one of the two killers shouted, "We've got you now!" before pulling the trigger.

(And just to note: At least four other people were shot in Salt Lake City that night; it's just kinda how things were back then.)

Salt Lake City, 1890, by Charles Roscoe Savage. Image in public domain.

The doctor who tended to Hill's injuries noted that it was a gunshot to the chest — the same kind as the shopkeeper's surviving son said occurred with the intruder who killed his father and brother.

Over the next few days, 12 different men were arrested for the killings — and each, in succession, was released.

Around the time that the 12th man was cleared, the doctor came forward and offered his patient as a possible suspect. Hill was arrested.

When the grocer's son who survived saw Joe, he stated, "That's not him at all!" However, a few days later after the publicity started and authorities knew they had the famous Joe Hill, he changed his mind and claimed it was definitely Hill he saw that night.

Several aspects of the case made Hill an unlikely suspect.

His injury, a shot through the left lung, would have bled profusely. Yet authorities did not find any blood in the store other than the victims'. No bullet was ever found, nor was there a motive; Joe did not know the shopkeeper, and the assailants didn't even take the money in the register.

The trial itself was a poor excuse for justice, according to author William Adler. Although two young, unknown attorneys volunteered to defend Hill, it became clear partway through that they weren't doing anything of the sort. Hill requested new lawyers, which the judge refused. From that point on, Hill refused to participate in the trial at all, and remained silent.

(In a letter written in 1949, the woman who was there when Hill was shot, Hilda Erickson, confessed that it was her former fiance and a friend of Joe Hill's, Otto Appelquist, who shot him that fateful night.)

After just a few hours, the jury found the 35-year-old guilty. He spent 22 months in prison while he awaited appeals of his sentence: execution by firing squad.

Image via Today in Labor History. Lyrics from the song "Workers of the World, Awaken!"

The IWW sought help from other labor unions around the world, and support began to build.

Backers demanding his release and a retrial sent tens of thousands of letters and circulated petitions.

Among those advocates were then-President Woodrow Wilson, the Swedish minister to the United States, 30,000 Australian IWW members, American Federation of Labor President Samuel Gompers, and trade unions across the world. Even Helen Keller, the famed deaf and blind activist (who also belonged to the IWW), wrote to the president on Hill's behalf.

The efforts targeted Utah Gov. William Spry, who had been elected to office on a platform that stated he would "sweep out lawless elements, whether they be corrupt businessmen or IWW agitators." Unsurprisingly, he did not intercede on Hill's behalf.

The IWW logo, featuring one of its main slogans: "An Injury to One Is an Injury to All." After Joe Hill was executed, it was really taken to heart.

The governor's record was clear: He had broken a large mineworkers strike and helped the Utah Copper Company bring in strikebreakers who used hired thugs to defeat the union there. Not surprisingly, this did not help Hill one bit.

There's a famous union phrase: "Don't mourn — organize!" Here's the origin story.

While in prison, Hill kept writing poetry, music, letters, and more. In a Aug. 15, 1915, article in the weekly political magazine Appeal to Reason, he stated:

"The main and only fact worth considering, however, is this: I never killed Morrison and do not know a thing about it. He was, as the records plainly show, killed by some enemy for the sake of revenge, and I have not been in the city long enough to make an enemy.

Shortly before my arrest I came down from Park City; where I was working in the mines. Owing to the prominence of Mr Morrison, there had to be a 'goat' and the undersigned being, as they thought, a friendless tramp, a Swede, and worst of all, an IWW, had no right to live anyway, and was therefore duly selected to be 'the goat'.

I have always worked hard for a living and paid for everything I got, and in my spare time I spend by painting pictures, writing songs and composing music.

Now, if the people of the state of Utah want to shoot me without giving me half a chance to state my side of the case, bring on your firing squads - I am ready for you. I have lived like an artist and I shall die like an artist."

In one of his last letters, when writing to IWW founding member and leader William Dudley Haywood (better known as "Big Bill" Haywood), he wrote these practical yet poignant words:

"Goodbye Bill. I die like a true blue rebel. Don't waste any time in mourning. Organize... Could you arrange to have my body hauled to the state line to be buried? I don't want to be found dead in Utah."

Haywood changed that to the phrase that has been used by union activists ever since: "Don't mourn — Organize!"

The memory of Joe Hill's words lives on in the hearts of working people the world over.

Hill died on Nov. 19, 1915. According to author Philip Sheldon Foner, when the firing squad was instructed, "Ready ... aim," Joe Hill himself issued the final order before the commander: "Yes, aim! Let 'er go. Fire!"

30,000 people came to his funeral in Chicago. Eulogies were translated into 10 languages. The mourners sang songs by Hill and shut down traffic for hours as the funeral procession stretched for miles. Many had IWW patches, pennants, and red ribbons with the words, "Joe Hill, murdered by the authorities of the state of Utah, November the 19th, 1915."

Especially in times like these, when unions in the United States are very much on the ropes, it's good to remember the words from "I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night," aka "Joe Hill" — "I never died, says he. I never died, says he."

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, But Joe, you're ten years dead
I never died, says he
I never died, says he

In Salt Lake, Joe, says I to him
Him standing by my bed
They framed you on a murder charge
Says Joe, But I ain't dead
Says Joe, But I ain't dead

The copper bosses killed you, Joe
They shot you, Joe, says I
Takes more than guns to kill a man
Says Joe, I didn't die
Says Joe, I didn't die

And standing there as big as life
And smiling with his eyes
Joe says, What they forgot to kill
Went on to organize
Went on to organize

Joe Hill ain't dead, he says to me
Joe Hill ain't never died
Where working men are out on strike
Joe Hill is at their side
Joe Hill is at their side

From San Diego up to Maine
In every mine and mill
Where workers strike and organize
Says he, You'll find Joe Hill
Says he, You'll find Joe Hill

I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night
Alive as you or me
Says I, But Joe, you're ten years dead
I never died, says he
I never died, says he

Joe Hill's story is nearly 100 years old, but it still is not often told in schoolhouses and history books today. Why do you think that is?

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Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends

True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Family

Mom explains the 'dishonest' Boomer parenting style that hurts adults to this day

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T."

boomer parents, parenting styles, dishonest harmony, parents, older parents, '70s and '80s parents,

Photo by Monstera Production

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.

Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

@parkrosepermaculture
Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'

"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.

How 'dishonest harmony' works in families

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos

Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel seen

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos

Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

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Internet

Why chasing 1,000 rejections might be the key to your biggest dreams

Gabriella Carr asked for 1,000 “no’s.” The universe had other plans.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge

Photo credit: TikTok

Gabrielle Carr introduces her "Year of 1,000 No's" notebook

If you opened Gabriella Carr's red notebook, you might expect to find a diary, a grocery list, or her homework. Instead, you'd find an organized, numbered list of failures.

That's one way to see it. Gabriella views it differently, though. To her, every entry in that notebook is a victory.

@gabbies1000nos the story of why i’m doing this!! #rejectiontherapy #rejectionisredirection #chaseyourdreams #aspiringactor #actingjourney ♬ original sound - Gabriella Carr

Gabriella, a content creator and actor, is embarking on a fascinating experiment she calls "The 1,000 No's." Her goal: to face rejection 1,000 times in a year. While the rest of us spend our days avoiding the word "no," Gabriella is hunting for it. She asks for opportunities she feels unqualified for. She puts herself in situations where rejection is likely.

Something unexpected happened on her quest for failure: she started to succeed.

In seeking "no's," Gabriella stumbled upon a life filled with unexpected "yeses." Her journey offers a fresh perspective on risk and rejection, and she's not alone in discovering the surprising power of failure.

The notebook that changed everything

Gabriella began her challenge in September 2025. As a creative, the sting of rejection was familiar. Casting directors passed on her self-tape auditions. Brand partners left her emails unread. The constant silence and dismissal started to take a toll on her self-worth.

She switched up her approach. Instead of striving for a "yes" and dreading denials, she set "no" as the goal.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge This is where Gabrielle tracks her rejection journey.Photo credit: TikTok

Grabbing a red notebook and a permanent marker, she scrawled "The 1,000 Rejections of Gabrielle Carr" on its front and began to track her journey.

The results surprised her. Amid the rejections lay unexpected wins; she earned a spot in a national pageant she'd written off as a long shot and landed a role in a play.

When Gabriella shared her rejection journey on TikTok, it resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. They recognized their own fears in her red book.

"My daughter shared your account with me, and it inspired me to apply for my dream job! I haven't heard back yet, but yes or no, it felt good to be so daring!" read one comment. "I need to get an internship for spring, and I'm so scared," shared another. One viewer said that Gabriella's courage inspired them to apply for a federal job.

@misscuddy this challenge just gets us in side quests 😭 they took this so serious too so adorbs!#foryouu #nochallenge #rejectiontherapy #newyearsresolution ♬ original sound - Fbrl challenge creator

Users across the Internet are following her lead. TikTok user @theplanistobefamous tracks his outrageous haggling on Facebook Marketplace. Others record similar experiments—renegotiating lease agreements, asking strangers for fashion advice, pitching themselves to major brands for sponsorships.

Gabriella's experiment has led her to a powerful realization: what holds us back from our greatest dreams isn't a lack of talent or opportunity—it's the fear of asking.

Embracing the "no"

Gabriella follows in the footsteps of innovators who saw fear as their sole obstacle.

Jason Comely, a freelance IT specialist, first developed the concept of "Rejection Therapy" in 2009. After his wife left him, Jason felt isolated and hesitant to socialize. His fear of rejection had morphed into a psychological barrier, a self-imposed mental prison that prevented him from forming meaningful connections and living a free life. He recognized the trap he was in—and knew he needed to find a way to confront and overcome his fears.

To toughen up, he modeled his training after Russian special forces. He created a game with one rule: get rejected at least once a day. Accepted requests didn't count—he had to continue until he got a "no." This simple but powerful game became more than a personal experiment, resonating with people worldwide and blossoming into a global movement.

Jia Jiang took the challenge publicly as well. After a difficult rejection from an investor, he decided to try Jason Comely's "Rejection Therapy" experiment for 100 days. Jiang began recording his quest for no's, expecting to document a long string of awkward failures.

On day three, he strolled into a Krispy Kreme and asked an employee to make him doughnuts shaped like Olympic rings.

Jiang braced for laughter and a curt "no," but the employee caught him off guard as she began to sketch a design. Fifteen minutes later, she handed him a box of Olympic ring-shaped doughnuts, free of charge. This encounter went viral, touching millions with its heartwarming display of unexpected kindness.

In 2017, Jiang gave a TED Talk titled "What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection," which garnered over six million views—one of the most popular lectures released that year.

Why rejection hurts (and how to overcome it)

If these experiments yield such positive results, why do we remain terrified of putting ourselves out there?

The answer lies in our biology. Psychologists have discovered that social rejection lights up the same areas of the brain as physical pain. In other words, hearing "no" triggers a reaction in your brain—the same one that activates when you slam a finger in the door or douse yourself with freezing water by accident.

rejection, pain, evolution, biology, psychology Social rejection feels just like physical pain to the brain.Photo credit: Canva

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. In the beginning, our ancestors relied on social groups for survival. Being a part of the tribe meant access to shared resources, protection from predators, and aid in child-rearing. Outcasts faced starvation and predators solo. Although we no longer live in small, nomadic tribes, your brain is still wired with that ancient software. It perceives modern rejections, like an unanswered text or a chilly response during a job interview, with the same primal panic as banishment from the group thousands of years ago.

This is why Gabriella's challenge works—it's a form of exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is a well-established psychological method used to help people overcome phobias. The core idea is to gradually expose someone to the object of their fears in a safe and controlled way. For instance, if you have an intense fear of spiders, a good therapist won't place you in a room full of tarantulas. They'll ease you into it. The process might begin with something as simple as looking at a cartoon drawing of a spider. Once you're comfortable with that, you might move on to realistic photos, then to a video of a spider. By the end, you could end up in the same room as one or hold a harmless spider in your hands. This logical, step-by-step approach teaches your brain that what you fear isn't a real threat.

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A post shared by Dr Martin Brunet | Mental Health (@doc_martin_gp)

Gabriella's experiment works in a similar fashion. By seeking out small, manageable rejections—like requesting a song on the radio—she began to retrain her brain. With each mini-rejection, Gabriella's fear of hearing "no" faded, making it easier for her to take bigger risks, like signing up for that pageant.

Gen Z and the gamification of failure

This trend has seen a major resurgence with Gen Z viewers at the forefront. It's no surprise given today's challenges. Data shows Gen Z may be the "most rejected generation" in history. By February 2025, the average job posting received 244 applications. Young people sent out hundreds of resumes—and faced a wall of silence or boilerplate automatic rejections.

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A post shared by Insider (@insider)

When life feels out of control, turning challenges into a game can help you regain a sense of agency. Instead of passively waiting and dreading rejections, people like Gabriella are making "no's" the goal. This shifts everything. This powerful reframing tool protects your self-esteem and spins a helpless situation into a conquerable hurdle—you can win the game by participating in life.

Ready to start your own rejection challenge?

You don't need to aim for 1,000 rejections or a "no" every day to benefit. If you want to strengthen your own "rejection muscle," here are some simple strategies to get started.

questions, bravery, asking, rejection, exposure Asking questions can be a form of bravery.Photo credit: Canva

Start with low-stakes requests

Begin by asking for something minuscule, like the time from a stranger. The goal is to feel that jolt of anxiety—then realize you're okay.

Know when to stop

Pushing your comfort zone is healthy, but remember to stay safe. As psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Morray explains, forcing yourself into situations that feel unsafe can yield traumatic outcomes. Know your limits—the goal is growth, not distress.

Track your data

Take a cue from Gabriella and use a pen and paper to record your rejections. Writing them down by hand helps externalize the experience, turning an uncomfortable memory into banal data entry.

Reframe the outcome

Remember what Jia Jiang learned: the worst thing someone can say isn't "no." It's that you never even asked. When you stay silent, you reject yourself by default. Keep in mind that with every brave request, you open the door for the universe to say "yes."

The beautiful truth about "no"

We spend an obscene amount of time trying to be perfect and dodging the embarrassment of disapproval. But people like Gabriella Carr, Jia Jiang, and Jason Comely show us the vibrant, exhilarating world that awaits on the flip side of fear. Rejection is an inevitable part of being human, but there's no shame in asking.

Every "no" in Gabriella's notebook marks an act of courage—an opportunity to embrace possibility over comfort. Within those possible 1,000 rejections lie the "yeses" that will shape her life: the plays, the pageants, and the moments she would have missed if she'd chosen to stay silent.

Buy your red notebook. Approach a neighbor with the favor that's been on your mind. Apply for the job that seems out of your league. The worst outcome? "No." And as Gabriella has shown, hearing a "no" isn't the end of the world—it's proof that you were courageous enough to take the leap and try. Each attempt, no matter how disastrous, is a step forward. You're proving to yourself that you are willing to endure uncertainty to pursue what matters to you.

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Fatherhood

The internet slams a man drinking water while his partner gives birth, but a nurse sets them straight

"Do you think we as nurses hand out refreshments while our patients are pushing as customer service?"

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Photo credit: @_jen_hamilton_ on Instagram/Canva

A nurse explains why a father-to-be sitting and drinking water during birth doesn't make him a bad dad.

Many couples post videos of their child's birth at the hospital, but one particular video was overly scrutinized online.

In the social media post, the father-to-be is seated and drinking from a cup offered to him while his partner is actively pushing. The post drew thousands of likes on comments such as "This is a red flag" and "He legit looks like he couldn't care less." Amid all of this, a nurse came to the man's defense.

Nurse Jen Hamilton explained why that moment was actually a green flag.

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"This is a nurse handing a man a cup of water while his lady is pushing," said Hamilton. "Do you think we as nurses hand out refreshments while our patients are pushing as customer service?"

Hamilton further explained that the man was likely showing signs of becoming lightheaded and close to fainting after witnessing the birth and feeling growing concern for his partner. She added that nurses were probably telling him to "sit their booty cheeks down on that hard couch and drink something." If the man were to faint, she explained, nurses and doctors would have to address both his medical needs and those of the mother-to-be.

"So not a red flag. Actually, probably, very much a green flag because he was probably so worried about his lady that he almost fainted," Hamilton concluded. "Leave him alone!"

@izzystory
Dads in the delivery room and there reactions #fypシ゚viral #reel #breakingnews #news #fyp

Commenters on Hamilton's video acknowledged her point, with some sharing their own near-fainting delivery room stories:

“My (firefighter/paramedic) husband who has delivered more than one baby in the field did exactly this after my first round of pushing with our son…He was on the floor with his feet up on a chair while another angel on earth gave him apple juice and a cold washcloth."

“Poor guy. My husband is a fainter so we prepared for this but miraculously he watched BOTH births and zero fainting! I think the excitement kept him focused.”

“They go through so much emotional and mental stress watching us in pain and being helpless to help. It's hard on them and I don't blame them when their brains try to help them out by shutting down.”

“My husband told me while I was pregnant with our first about how he passes out around blood. The OB was like, 'We will seat him by your head. We don't want to send him to the ER for a head injury, too.'"

So what is proper delivery room etiquette for a father-to-be?

So what's the role of a partner in the delivery room when their loved one is giving birth? How can they help, or should they simply stay out of the way? Nurse Juliana Parker spoke with Upworthy to offer some thoughts and guidance.

"Part of our job in labor and delivery is caring for the whole family, not just the mother, and that includes helping partners stay safe and upright," said Parker. "I routinely tell fathers-to-be, 'If you feel dizzy or lightheaded, please tell me right away.'"

"The best advice I can give is don't try to be stoic or push through warning signs," Parker added. "If you're not feeling well, say something immediately and get down—on the floor, a couch, a chair, anywhere—so you don't faint, fall, and hit your head. Partners passing out is more common than people think, and it's preventable when people speak up early."

@kristan_n_williams
His life will never be the same #dadsoftiktok #laboranddelivery

Parker said that partners who want to help during delivery should ask nurses what they need and listen to their guidance. Most of the time, it's best to focus on supporting your birthing partner's comfort, encouragement, and other needs. However, you should also check in with a nurse to know when to step in and when to step back, especially if they need to assess the birth or set up equipment. In short, follow the nurses' instructions, don't get in their way, and if you start to feel faint or emotionally overwhelmed, let them know.

"Letting the nurse know you're feeling faint is not 'being dramatic,' it's being responsible," concluded Parker.

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Mental Health

Google productivity expert says 'fun homework' makes you happier. Here's why it actually works.

The simple trick Google productivity expert Laura Mae Martin swears by.

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Photo credit: Canva, Laura Mae Miller

Laura Mae Miller is rewriting the book on productivity.

We all know the feeling: You walk through the front door after a long day, or slam your laptop shut, and the weight of the world slides off your shoulders. Your overworked brain, desperate to relax, entices you to collapse onto the couch and scroll through your phone until it's time to sleep.

But is this the best way to recharge? By doing nothing? Experts say no.

@xparmesanprincessx Spending this cozy Sunday planning my curriculum for 2026 📚✍️ I’m going to break my year up in to 4 semesters with different themes and focuses for each month and have more long term learning projects like relearning Spanish! #curriculum #learning #personalgrowth #personalcurriculum #books ♬ original sound - Elizabeth Jean

A fascinating practice on social media called the "personal curriculum" is trending. Championed by Google executive productivity advisor Laura Mae Martin, the concept is simple yet counterintuitive. The idea is to assign yourself "homework"—not to earn a degree, promotion, or extra cash, but for the pure joy of learning. TikTok user Elizabeth Jean also helped popularize the term "personal curriculum," and posts videos with tips on how to create your own.

Adding tasks to an overflowing to-do list might sound like a recipe for burnout, but Martin suggests that a structured, self-directed learning plan can boost energy, sharpen the mind, and restore a sense of identity.

The unexpected science of "fun homework"

It's easy to compare our brains to batteries that drain during the day and require total rest to recharge. But cognitive science shows that our minds are more like muscles. To stay healthy, we need new and interesting activities that challenge us.

When we engage in what researchers call "cognitively stimulating activities," the physical structure of our brains changes. A 2017 report from the Global Council on Brain Health highlighted that keeping the mind active is essential for maintaining brain health as we age. Creative activities like painting, photography, or writing can reduce cortisol levels, lowering stress hormones and creating an emotional regulation loop that leaves you feeling refreshed and ready for the next day.

A systematic review in BMJ Open found a clear link between lifelong learning and a lowered risk of dementia. Researchers explained that challenging the brain with new information builds cognitive reserve, a.k.a. its ability to adapt and remain resistant to damage.

Think of it as investing in your mental future. Each time you tackle a new language lesson or deep-dive into Renaissance art history, you're strengthening your brain in ways that can last a lifetime.

Redefining what it means to be productive

The word "productivity" can carry heavy connotations. It suggests endless checklists, exhausting efficiency hacks, and squeezing every drop of output from our waking hours. Laura Mae Martin offers a refreshing alternative, defining productivity in simple terms: "Productivity is accomplishing what you intend to do, when you intend to do it."

This meaning allows us to reclaim our time. It shifts our mindsets from external validation to internal satisfaction.

How to build your syllabus

Let's put this in practical terms. How do you bring these "nice ideas" into the real world? By creating a "personal curriculum" and treating it with the same respect you would have for a college course. Humans respond well to structure and deadlines. Here's how to create a syllabus that sticks:

Follow the spark: Genuine curiosity must drive your personal curriculum. If you hated calculus in high school, don't pick it up again for arbitrary reasons, like trying to feel smart. Look for subjects that make you lose track of time. Identifying every tree in your neighborhood could be one, or mastering the perfect sourdough loaf.
Diversify your materials: Learning exists everywhere, not solely in dense textbooks. Keep required texts engaging and fun, mixing in podcasts, workshops, flashcards, and documentaries. If you are learning a new language, listen to an album in that language. If you're studying paleontology, visit a local natural history museum.
Set the scene: Get yourself in the zone with a little learning mise en place. Find a specific chair and reserve it for reading, or flipping through flashcards. Make a study playlist and fill it with songs to play in the background. When you sit in that chair, or hit play, you are signaling to your brain that it's time to switch into "student" mode.

The 20–30 minute rule

Don't spend all your free time on this. Overload is the greatest pitfall with personal curriculums. We get excited, plan to study every night for two hours straight, then find ourselves exhausted and discouraged.

Sustainability lies in the "Goldilocks" rule for time commitment: keep sessions between 20 and 30 minutes.

Simple 20–30 minute blocks fit into even the busiest schedules yet, they're long enough to achieve a flow state.. Slot one in after dinner or while drinking your morning coffee.

Valerie Craddock, a content creator, shared her November curriculum on TikTok, embracing this method. It included gentle, actionable goals: walk 8,000 steps, practice penmanship three times a week, work out for 30 minutes. By keeping her curriculum low stakes, Craddock set herself up for a winning streak instead of a guilt trip.

Make room for what matters

How do you protect this newfound time? Martin suggests a simple but effective tactic: integrating your personal calendar with your work one.

This gives you a complete view of the week. You might see Tuesday packed with meetings, so you'll make a mental note to keep that evening free. Thursday looks much lighter, offering the perfect window to pencil in that 30-minute creative writing session.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework Woman working, productively.Photo credit: Canva

An approach like this helps you honor the natural ebb and flow of energy, and prevents you from overcommitting on days when you're already drained. When you schedule "fun homework" with the same seriousness as an All-Hands meeting, you're sending yourself a powerful message: personal growth is as important as obligations.

Redefining "you"

One of the most rewarding aspects of the personal curriculum is its ability to reshape our sense of self. In a society obsessed with asking, "What do you do for work?" discovering an answer that's not attached to a paycheck can feel freeing.

When you learn, you transcend the role of parent, employee, or partner—you become a historian, linguist, painter, or botanist.

Buy the notebook, write a syllabus, and enjoy becoming a beginner again. You might discover that a little homework can unlock the key to reconnecting with yourself.

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Parenting

Millennials are debunking Boomer claims that parenting was 'just easier' back then and they've brought the receipts

It's time for a reality check.

parenting, parenting advice, boomer parents, baby boomer parents, millennial parents, millennial parenting

Photo credit: Canva

A man holds a baby as a woman looks on.

There are seemingly endless generational differences in parenting between Millennials and their Baby Boomer parents. As grandparents, many Boomers have been described by Millennials as absent. They've also been labeled with "gramnesia," a blend of "grandparent" and "amnesia," referring to how many seem to forget what raising kids was really like.

One Millennial mom shared a similar take on Reddit, explaining that her Boomer parents made it seem like raising babies was far less taxing for them than it is for modern-day parents.

She wrote, "Everyone I've talked to, their parents make it seem like 'back in the day' all babies just slept. They put them in their cribs and they napped and slept and had no problems and it was just rainbows and sunshine. No contact naps, no sleep training etc. Are they misremembering? Was it just easier??"

Fellow Millennial parents offered experiences and insight with their Boomer parents that felt validating.

millennial mom, millennial parents, raising babies, baby, boomer parents An exhausted mom and her baby.Photo credit: Canva

Millennials share receipts on Boomer parenting

Many Millennials agree that the Boomer perspective on raising kids is skewed:

"I know one boomer who put earplugs in and ignored her baby all night. She'll tell you baby slept through the night. The grandma who lived in the house with them and actually got up for the crying baby might tell you a different story." - TraditionalManager82

"My mom was like 'I thought you were sleeping through the night but your 13 year old brother was actually getting up to take care of you'." - Stepharoni523

"My mom gave us dimetapp 🤣 can't imagine doing that to my kid." - ChoptankSweets

"My boomer mom told me she would put me down for a nap and go for a walk around the neighborhood while I cried." - AppropriateAmoeba406

@johnnyhilbrant
Your boomer parent comments on your parenting… #boomer #parenting #millennial #fyp

"Yep, my boomer MIL visited when my eldest was a week old. Baby started crying because it was time to eat. As I tended to her, my MIL told me to just put her in her crib, close the door to the nursery, and go do something for myself out of the house. Like get my nails done, go have coffee, etc. She said that's what she did with all of her kids. 'They're in the crib, so they can't get hurt' was her reasoning. She also felt I was 'spoiling' my 6 pound baby by feeding her when she was hungry. I was HORRIFIED and never left her alone with my babies no matter how much she offered." - littlebittydoodle

"They weren't held to even half the standards parents today are held to. It was easier because many of them were terrible parents, and that was just fine." - allie06nd

"Even 'good parents' following the recommended guidelines of the time would generally be considered sub-par by today's standards. I also think there is so much more information and awareness of the importance of early childhood development today. This has led to added stress and pressure on today's parents to influence development as positively as possible. And parents feel responsible for any setbacks, real or perceived." - heycarlgoodtoseeyou

Some Millennials defend Boomers

Not everyone agreed that Boomer parents simply had it easier, and they explained why:

millennials, millennial parents, millennial parenting, modern parenting, tired mom A mom yawns while feeding her baby.Photo credit: Canva

"I think there is some truth to the idea that babies generally slept better. The advice then was to lay babies down on their bellies, and many babies do sleep better that way. But of course, it's also more dangerous and not worth the risk, so the advice now is to sleep safely on their backs. But for all of the babies who were luckily able to sleep safely that way, there's a good chance that the parents slept better too." - mdb_la

"Yeah, it's an evolutionary thing. We forget how horrible it was otherwise no one would ever have a second child." - tonyrocks922

"My mom just doesn't remember a lot of the details. I think that goes to show that it really does go quickly and is a faint memory one day. My mom is always saying 'I honestly don't remember this with you girls, so it must not have been that bad!' 🤪 I have a 4 year age gap and I even forgot about the newborn stage. It's just a blur now. I also think no social media/internet at their fingertips back then is also a huge part. Parents just…parented and didn't have constant communication with the 'outside world'." - SaveBandit_02

"I asked my granny how she raised four kids because I struggle with just two of them. She said she thinks I put more into it than she did. So I'm guessing they didn't worry themselves over a lot of the details millennials do. Knowing that I'm making life harder on myself than past generations did doesn't change my behavior, but I do feel more capable and calm and less wrecked when I remind myself that I am choosing to be a highly involved and engaged parent, it's not a requirement, and I am giving them everything I've got of my own free will." - dammitjenna

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