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Even facial recognition software is racially biased. But that may be about to change.

Even facial recognition software is racially biased. But that may be about to change.

Across the country, millions of people are in an uproar about racism in policing and law enforcement as a whole - however one of the more sinister and overlooked aspects of racism in policing is found in the very place where human bias is supposed to be notably absent.

Facial recognition, the technology used for surveillance in many communities nationwide, has now become a major point of discussion for many who are deeply concerned that the inherent bias of its algorithm is not racially impartial.

Used for observation, tracking, and in many cases prosecution - facial recognition has been in use by many agencies for well over 20 years. There's just one glaring error - it is mostly accurate when it is profiling white men.


Studies by M.I.T. and NIST have found that because of a lack of diversity in the databases the technology uses as a baseline, the systems are flawed from the start. Having a broken database to work from, the rates of misidentification are in danger of destroying countless lives due to a computing bias that doesn't have a large enough reference pool from which to analyze data.

This month, Microsoft, Amazon, and IBM announced they would stop or pause their facial recognition offerings for law enforcement. However, many of the technology companies that law enforcement utilize aren't as recognizable as Amazon. Some of them are lesser known outfits like Clearview AI, Cognitec, NEC, and Vigilant Solutions.


Photo by Lianhao Qu on


The fact that the protests have reignited the conversation regarding facial recognition is an interesting development, as protests themselves are a main source of data-gathering for the systems themselves. Protests, along with general collection points (social media, phone unlocking, security camera capture, image scraping).

Joy Buolamwini, a Ghanaian-American computer scientist and digital activist based at the MIT Media Lab, founded the Algorithmic Justice League to "create a world with more ethical and inclusive technology". Her work over the past few years has helped to bring attention to the issue of the racial bias in the system.

Speaking to The Guardian, Buolamwini explains, "When I was a computer science undergraduate I was working on social robotics – the robots use computer vision to detect the humans they socialize with. I discovered I had a hard time being detected by the robot compared to lighter-skinned people. At the time I thought this was a one-off thing and that people would fix this. Later I was in Hong Kong for an entrepreneur event where I tried out another social robot and ran into similar problems. I asked about the code that they used and it turned out we'd used the same open-source code for face detection – this is where I started to get a sense that unconscious bias might feed into the technology that we create. But again I assumed people would fix this. So I was very surprised to come to the Media Lab about half a decade later as a graduate student, and run into the same problem. I found wearing a white mask worked better than using my actual face.

Buolamwini continues, "This is when I thought, you've known about this for some time, maybe it's time to speak up … Within the facial recognition community you have benchmark data sets which are meant to show the performance of various algorithms so you can compare them. There is an assumption that if you do well on the benchmarks then you're doing well overall. But we haven't questioned the representativeness of the benchmarks, so if we do well on that benchmark we give ourselves a false notion of progress."

Many have raised this concern in the past, however it has taken a wave of demonstrations nationally to bring the issue back into conversation for tech companies reexamining their relationships with how they build and distribute products - especially as it relates to law enforcement.

Another early whistleblower concerning racial bias in AI was Calypso AI, a software company that "builds software products that solve complex AI risks for national security and highly-regulated industries".

Speaking with Davey Gibian, Chief Business Officer at Calypso AI, he revealed that Calypso had already been working on a comprehensive anti-bias tool for their systems over the past few months that is launching imminently.

Describing the overall issues related to facial recognition bias, Gibian explains, "There are two primary issues when it comes to racial profiling and police specific bias, one is data collection and data availability. The data available is based on things that have already happened - so police are looking for criminals by looking at data of who has already been booked. However, because police primarily target minority communities, that creates an inherent data bias model that predicts minorities will commit the most crime. The second primary issue is that even if you are aware of bias - simply stripping out race alone doesn't help. You actually have to address the other elements related to the race data. For example, the geo-coordinates, the context of the capture, mugshots, the neighborhoods where people live, and other indicators from open source data, like spending habits, articles of clothing associated with minority and marginalized communities. All of these factors contribute to bias models, which leads police to use preexisting bias to designate criminals. So, because these are feedback loops in AI - it's going to over-index racial bias."

Put simply, he says, "Existing police data is biased because police are biased - models trained on that bias will be biased. Bias begets bias."

When planning their approach to combat this deeply rooted issue in the system, Calypso decided to go for transparency instead of the murky steps many other outfits have opted for.

Speaking matter-of-factly, Gibian continues, "There aren't enough tools to ensure that correlated indicators of race are stripped out of models. Our entire mission is to accelerate trusted AI into societal benefit - basically, we want to use AI for good. A massive barrier is the ethical and non-technical impact of AI and bias is one of the largest concerns we have. Because of this we've baked in an automated bias-detection tool into our software to ensure that any organization deploying a model can check for inherent bias, and can know not only if the data is biased, but how to mitigate against that. We believe that these bias scores should be shared with the public anytime AI is used in a public sector."

As the Black Lives Matter protests continue and the movement moves from the streets to policy change, what remains to be seen is whether the large corporations that are publicly pledging support will follow the example of smaller companies like Calypso AI, Arthur AI, Fiddler, Modzy and others who are looking into bias in AI systems - and whether they will implement permanent solutions that make facial recognition a truly impartial, unbiased tool for the future.

It is worth noting that the Department of Defense recently released new guidance that explicitly requires that any AI used must not be biased.

Despite these positive movements towards a better technology overall, Gibian warns, "There's a huge amount of benefit that AI can bring to make a more equitable society - but there are also pitfalls as a result of the original human bias. If we don't avoid that - AI could accelerate a less equitable and more disenfranchised future."

Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!


This article originally appeared last year.

Canva Photos

Parents in the 70s through the early 2000s had unique ways of relaxing before cell phones were prevalent.

Parents are more stressed out than ever. While the fundamentals of raising kids haven't changed much over the years, the environment in which we do it has rapidly become more complex and demanding. Social media bombards us with visuals of other parents' seemingly perfect lives and influencers who are constantly trying to sway us into their way of thinking. The demands on parents to be hyper-engaged and always "on: are rising. We get dozens of emails and texts from school and daycare every week that must be read, digested, and sometimes responded to. Securing childcare for summers and school breaks takes 100 hours of planning every year.

In short, parents are, on average, working more and doing more hands-on childcare than in decades past. You don't have to have a PhD in mathematics to know that the hours in the day just don't add up. So many parents are trying to cope in any way that they can, trying anything that might help them decompress, which includes a lot of different coping mechanisms like alcohol, THC gummies and weed, and mindlessly watching Netflix until they fall asleep. They're also withdrawing socially, over or undereating, and bottling up their feelings. Overall, it's not a great recipe.

One honest mom took to social media to make a confession. In a Reddit post, she confessed that sitting and mindlessly scrolling on her phone was the only thing she had that helped her decompress, and she wasn't feeling great about it.

She also asked for some advice from older generations who didn't have all the pressure to go-go-go, and who didn't have the option of numbly flicking through Instagram to pass the time: "Older parents, how did you decompress from toddlers? I’m a single mum and sometimes scroll my phone while she plays, esp. at noisy play gyms, just to mentally/physically reset. I feel guilty."

Older folks who were parents back in the 70s, 80s, 90s, and even early 2000s chimed in with plenty of timeless advice:

1. Put the kids to bed on time. No exceptions.

parents, parenting, old school parenting, gen x parents, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, kids, family For older generations of parents, bedtime was non-negotiable,. Photo by Anna Hliamshyna 💙💛 on Unsplash

Universally, the one thing older parents will always tell you is that you need to get your kids to bed on time and without feeling guilty about it. Personally, I struggle with this all the time. As your kids get older, they learn how to work you and guilt you into letting them stay up later and later. And, honestly, it's pretty awesome when your kids want to hang out with you by watching a show or playing a game together late into the evening.

But mommy and daddy need time to wind down before bed, too. Older generations were definitely better at sticking to the routine without exception.

"Get them to bed ON TIME. No flexibility except in emergencies or family events. Just seeing the bed time approaching, started my unwind. Then TV and books," one user wrote.

"My kids were ALWAYS in bed by 7:00. Then it was bath time with a good book for me. I was also a single mom and the sense of peace when they were finally asleep was exquisite!" said another.

"Set routines. That's it. No flexibility when it comes to meals, bedtime, etc. You can break that routine for very special occasions such as Birthdays, Christmas, etc however the routine is the ironclad rule of the household. This is for the kids to learn structure, and for you as the parent to get time to yourself," someone agreed.

Once the kids are firmly in bed, parents agreed that a whole wide world was open to you. You could do a puzzle, take a bath, enjoy a glass of wine. Or just go to bed yourself and get that coveted extra sleep!

2. Let them play unsupervised. Feel no guilt.

parents, parenting, old school parenting, gen x parents, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, kids, family Kids need unsupervised play time, and so do adults. Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

It's been a hot topic of debate as to why kids these days seem more anxious than previous generations. A lack of unstructured, unsupervised free play is definitely a factor. And, ironically, it's contributing to parents' stress, too.

This is definitely the making of the younger generation of millennial parents. Gen X and Baby Boomer parents had no issue with letting kids take advantage of their freedoms, and they were a lot more relaxed as a result.

"[My parents] let sleeping dogs lie so to speak. If it wasn't broke, they didn't look to fix it. If we were achieving as we should in school and not arrested as teenagers, they assumed we were doing fine and on track to get to college. Even as young kids we had enormous physical freedom to roam around the neighborhood on our own - and I grew up in Brooklyn and not an idyllic suburb. Both my parents worked and after we sat down to a home cooked meal on almost all week nights my parents essentially retreated to the living room and watched television or read and we kids also retreated," one user said.

"When my kids were little, I just let them play outside. They would ride their trikes back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the house. Usually a neighbor or two would also come out and we would visit while the kids ran around. After that, it was dinner time, maybe a little TV, and then bedtime. When they were older, we would go to the park and hang out with their friends while I chatted with the moms," said another.

3. Read. (Books, that is.)

parents, parenting, old school parenting, gen x parents, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, kids, family Reading instead of scrolling can make a huge difference. Photo by Marga Santoso on Unsplash

If you're getting the kids to bed at a decent hour or finding yourself with a few minutes of freedom in the middle of the day while they play outside, the older generations are begging you: Pick up a book instead of your phone.

"I had a book with me literally everywhere I went. If I had 30 seconds where total attention wasn't required, I was reading. Now I keep books on my phone so nothing's really changed except the medium," someone wrote.

"My mum used to lock herself in the toilet (as it was the only room with a lock) and read a lot of a book sat on the toilet," added another.

Reading books has tons of benefits for the brain, like making you sharper, more intelligent, and lowering stress. Screen time, on the other hand, is "empty calories" for the brain—it's easy and fun, but harmful in large amounts as it can lead to sleep issues and more anxiety, for starters.

Luckily, you can get a Kindle for pretty cheap and have easy, instant access to tons of books. The screen is easier on your eyes than a phone, and you won't get distracted by social media or texts.

4. Ask for help.

parents, parenting, old school parenting, gen x parents, boomer parents, boomer grandparents, millennial parents, kids, family Parents need more community support. Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

America has always been known as a heavily-individualistic culture. But over the years, the extended family unit has definitely suffered. A Surgeon General's advisory from 2023 shows that people communicate with family outside their immediate household far less often than in years past.

That's a shame, because older parents survived and thrived in part because they got more help. But help can take many forms, from grandparents to neighbors to friends. You might just have to learn how to ask for it:

"One more thing that probably made a big difference is grandparents. Back in the day when my kids were young, grandparents were probably a lot more available and active in the grandkids' lives than they are now. They gave us respite before we got to the point of feeling like we needed it," one user wrote.

"We collaborated with relatives or friends. get a pool of parents going, have meet ups with kids of similar age. you can then rotate with those parents if you have an appointment or just need an hour or two of sanity," said another.

"When my kids were young, we spent a lot of time with other families so the kids could go off and play together and we could have adult time. Kids could play safely outside and did so on a regular basis, mostly because parents were also outdoors more and adults who happened to be outside looked after other people's kids. Having strong communities, strong ties, made things a lot easier."

5. Zone out.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Just because older generations didn't have smartphones and streaming doesn't mean they didn't turn their brains off every now and then.

Their advice? Stop beating yourself up, even for your less-than-ideal coping habits. This stuff is hard.

"I would strap [my kids into] their car seat, close the door, and then walk around the car to the driver's seat. That short walk around the car was my happy place. An oasis of calm. A short interlude of bliss," one commenter joked.

"I was also a single mom. Phones weren’t as prevalent when the youngest was a toddler in 2008. I believe I would zone out. It was a form of meditation in a way. I was disassociating but if I scroll and dissasosiate on the phone I feel worse. Don’t beat yourself up. Hang in there!" said another.

"Peace in engagement, in quietly watching, quietly observing, especially since time flies and when you pick up your phone it flies even faster. Which creates more guilt and anxiety. Try it. Look at the time, play on your phone, see how fast time goes. But sit and do nothing but watch, and time slows down and you can rest."

One thing older generations of parents can all agree on is that the pressure today's parents face has gotten completely out of control. The truth is, the world is different, and not all of the "old ways" still work. But it doesn't mean we can't learn anything from how things used to be.

via Mattew Barra/Pexels
There's one word you can't say on a cruise ship.

There are some things you just don't say. You don't yell out "bomb!" on an airplane, make jokes about carrying weapons while going through security, or, as Michael Scott from The Office knows, loudly proclaim that a boat you're currently on is sinking.

Those are all pretty obvious examples, but sometimes etiquette and decorum are a little more subtle. If you're not experienced in the ways of the venue you're in, you might not know all the unspoken rules. And you might find out the hard way. Cruise ships, for example, have their own very specific set of rules and regulations that guests should abide by.

On December 10, 2023, Royal Caribbean’s Serenade of the Seas set sail on the Ultimate World Cruise—a 274-day global trek that visits 11 world wonders and over 60 countries.


cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean 9 months is a very long time to be aboard a boat, even a giant cruise ship. Photo by Peter Hansen on Unsplash

This incredible trip covered the Americas, Asia Pacific, Middle East, Mediterranean and Europe with a ticket price that ranges from $53,999 to $117,599 per passenger.

With such a unique and incredible offering, it's understandable that Royal Caribbean wanted to invite plenty of influencers to help them get the word out.

Aboard the Serenade to the Seas was popular TikToker Marc Sebastian, who documented his experience throughout the journey. In one video with over 4.3 million views, he revealed what he’s learned over his first few weeks aboard the ship; the biggest was the one word you’re not allowed to say.

"So here's [what] I've learned about cruising since I've spent 18 nights on this floating retirement home with a Cheesecake Factory attached. First, number one, you're not supposed to talk about the Titanic," he says in the clip.

Titanic! It's the ultimate taboo when you're on a giant ship traversing the ocean. Even after all these years, it's still too soon to make even lighthearted comparisons or jokes.

@marcsebastianf

someone get whoopi on the line girl i have some goss for her #ultimateworldcruise #worldcruise #serenadeoftheseas #cruisetok #cruise #9monthcruise #titanic

“Who knew that? I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “I brought it up to an entire room of people having lunch that our ship is only 100 feet longer than the Titanic — when I tell you that utensils dropped. Waiters gasped. It’s dead silent.”

Sebastian was flabbergasted. "It wasn't in the... handbook," he joked. "Not that I read the handbook, clearly."

After the unexpected reaction, his cruise friend told him, “You’re not allowed to talk about the Titanic.” It makes sense.

Who wants to be reminded of the tragedy that killed around 1,500 people while sinking one of the most impressive engineering feats of the era? More experienced cruisers chimed in that they were familiar with the unique piece of etiquette.

cruise, 9-month cruise, Marc Sebastian, cruise life, vacation, titanic, unspoken rules, etiquette, cruise etiquette, royal caribbean Pro tip: Don't ask the band on board to play "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion Giphy

"When I went on a cruise, my mom told me saying Titanic was equivalent to screaming ‘bomb’ at an airport," Mikayla wrote in the comments.

"It’s like saying Macbeth in a theatre, it’s an unspoken rule" another commenter added.

"I’m sorry you’re telling me you had a Harry Potter like experience saying Voldemort at Hogwarts but it was the titanic on a modern day cruise I’m cryingggg" joked another.

Later in the video covering little known cruise facts, Sebastian admits he was surprised to learn that cruise ships have godmothers and that the pools are filled with seawater.

In an update from June of 2024, Sebastian explains that he only stayed on the cruise for 18 nights. He was not booked to stay throughout the entire voyage, and for him, that was a relief.

He initially jokes that he was kicked off the boat for saving a penguin that had jumped aboard. But in the end, he admits he was more than happy to deboard early.

"I walked off that ship not a happy man," he said, saying the ship was overstimulating and stressful. In another video, he films as the ship navigates the Drake Passage, one of the most notoriously dangerous and choppy stretches of water in the world. It looks stressful indeed, to say the least.

Cruising isn't for everyone, let alone for 274 days straight! But now Sebastian knows the golden rule for his next cruise.

This story originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Would you eat "baby food for adults?"

Brands are constantly adapting to our ever-changing world in an effort to stay relevant and viable and, ultimately, make their bottom line. However, sometimes these attempts at gettin’ with the times are so out of touch they miss the mark completely. We call these instances marketing fails.

One such marketing fail happened in 1974, when Gerber—the brand synonymous with baby food—tried, and failed, to rebrand itself as a food for college kids.

As explained by Max Miller of Tasting History, in a short but sweet video (though maybe not as sweet as Gerber’s puréed mango-apple-banana flavor), the ‘70s saw a dramatic decline in marriages and births following the Baby Boom between 1946 and 1964. Less babies, of course, meant less need for baby food, and Gerber was looking for ways to combat a slump in its sales.

Their solution? Rebrand their product as something for college kids.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Using the logic of “We were good for you then. We’re good for you now,” Gerber rolled out full meals like "Beef Burgundy," "Mediterranean Vegetables," "Ham Casserole," "Creamed Beef," and even "Sweet and Sour Pork” placed in the exact same jars used to contain infant food.

Though the idea itself might have been sound—convenient, all-in-one meals? What busy single person doesn't want that?— the biggest flaw was in the execution. Depressing, or condescending taglines like "Something to eat when you're alone" and "Look at you! All grown up!" didn’t exactly endear young folks to drown out their loneliness with a savory, lukewarm meat mush.

gerber baby food, baby food, marketing fail, commercial, vintage commercials, tasting history, max miller Who doesn't wanna eat beef burgundy right out of the can?Wikimedia

All in all, the failed product went off the shelves within only a few months of its launch. As many viewers pointed out, this very well could have been an idea too ahead of its time, because in today’s fitness-centric world, it could have been a hot ticket item.

“There's a market for meal replacements, both for people with finite time and health buffs,” one person noted.

Another echoed, “Honestly, just put it in a squeeze pack and market it for fitness and those sales will soar.”

Others brought up the fact that the elderly, sick, or, as one person put it it, “the Soylent crowd who hate how the subsistence of their physical body interferes with the grindset,” could have easily bought into the product. But cool college kids? Not so much.

Still, this probably doesn’t go down in history as the most out of touch market schemes. Certainly not in comparison to the infamous Kendall Jenner Pepsi Ad from 2017.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Or the short-lived Dove Facebook Ad, also from 2017, where a Black woman takes off her shirt to reveal a white woman standing in her place. The idea was to imply that the product was for all women. The interpretation was that it promotes white ideals of beauty. Whoops.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Or when the American Dairy Association made a translation blunder with their “Got Milk?” campaign, when it wrote “Tienes leche?” for its Spanish-speaking audience. This literally translates to “Are you lactating?”

You could also put the recent Sydney Sweeny American Eagle blue jeans ad in this category. The highly controversial commercial might have boosted web site traffic, but sales? Not so much, according to sites like Adweek and Retail Brew.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Bottom line: brands ultimately aim to serve themselves, and they do so by trying to tap into the potential emotional triggers of their customer base. We know this, but, let’s face it, even the most scrutinous among us might be swayed by the clever or heartfelt story told in an ad. When they majorly faceplant, however, it’s a lot easier to see their true intentions and a good reminder to take it all with a grain of salt.

Community

Mom on 2-year decluttering journey shares her 'use it or lose it' hack

"I honestly haven’t regretted, or even thought twice, about everything I’ve donated or thrown out in the process."

Image via Canva/AndreyPopov

Mom shares her decluttering hack to help others.

Decluttering your home can be an exhausting undertaking. And while professional Marie Kondo's famous advice to get rid of anything that doesn't "spark joy" may be a helpful tip while decluttering, a mom who's been embarking on a two-year decluttering journey of her own offered her advice to help get you motivated.

She shared her best decluttering guidance with fellow home organizers trying to get rid of unnecessary stuff called the "Use it or lose it" hack. She wrote, "I’ve been on a major decluttering journey for the past 2 years. And I honestly haven’t regretted, or even thought twice, about everything I’ve donated or thrown out in the process."

On her journey, she realized that "the actual regret came from the realization that certain things really are use it or lose it. And not just those with expiration dates." It hit her that the things she never used that had been stuffed in her closets ultimately became useless over time, and, whether or not she wanted to, she had to throw them away.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"The spools of stretchy string I’d been storing for who knows how long, just in case I started making jewelry again - brittle and discolored. A purse packed away for so long, it started flaking and crumbling in my hands. (That one hurt. My daughter would have loved it!)," she wrote. "A beautiful dress that I almost never wore when it actually fit me right. I should have considered every day the 'special occasion' for it."

In the end, because she didn't "use it," these things deteriorated to the point where she had no choice but to "lose it." She continued, "So no, donating perfectly good items in hopes they will be loved again brought no regrets. When you have too much stuff, when you save things for just the right occasion, you may never really enjoy any of it. Having a curated collection of needs and wants that actually see the light of day is just a better way to live."

declutter, decluttering, get rid of everything, throw stuff away, declutter gif Organize The Goldbergs GIF by ABC Network Giphy

Her sage advice resonated with others struggling with guilt or regret about getting rid of perfectly good items during their decluttering.

"This is exactly why I’m such an advocate of using the 'good glasses'… lighting the expensive candles… wearing your favorite clothes… you actually get to ENJOY your things and your life, just because! Rather than find them years down the line and feel sad that you never appreciated them when you could. Sometimes I put Pepsi in a wine glass just to feel fancy but I don’t want wine 🤣," one commented.

declutter, decluttering, decluttering gif, donating, getting rid of stuff Box Satisfying GIF by Extra Space Storage Giphy

Another added, "This is a beautiful way to look at it, and gives me a bit of a better outlook while on my own decluttering journey! Every day is the day to put it to use, before it can’t be used at all! And if you can’t find a use for it now, give it away to somebody who maybe can :)."

Many were grateful for the perspective. Another declutterer shared, "I feel this. It’s so true. Try to value what you own and use it. Live in the moment and don’t save your nice stuff for later - be kind to yourself you deserve the best! Not later- now." Another quipped, "You cracked the code! I say this a lot in here. It’s not wasting the item to give it away. It’s wasting it to keep it and not use it. Things should be used and enjoyed not stored away until they’re no longer useful. Keep it flowing. And don’t dust your candles. Burn them!"