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Escaping homelessness can feel impossible. This shelter's making it easier.

Escaping homelessness can feel impossible. This shelter's making it easier.

When you're homeless, finding a clean place where you feel safe can seem impossible.

Homeless shelters used to be nearly identical: they offered temporary shelter for a few hours a night. In most cities, people started lining up for shelters well before dusk. They'd get a meal and a few hours of sleep in a crowded room before being sent back out early in the morning. And shelter for the next night would not be guaranteed.

While these types of shelters certainly still exist, they’re no longer the only option. In fact, more and more city governments are changing the way they think about fighting homelessness, moving away from a model where temporary shelter is seen as a solution to situational and chronic homelessness and towards one where permanent housing and social support are the goals.


Transition Projects is one of the shelters that's on the precipice of this necessary change.

At Transition Projects in Portland, the goal isn’t simply to get people off the street. The organization is helping people regain hope, reclaim their dignity, and find long-term housing.

That journey begins with a safe environment that provides showers, a place to wash clothes, and a clean bed. Those may sound like simple things, but they're not often attainable for homeless people. The 24 hour shelters Transition provides allow them to take care of their hygienic needs, which can help them start their day feeling good. That outlook can be the catalyst they need to change their circumstances.

In Portland — where home prices have begun to be described as ā€œunaffordableā€ — more than 4,000 people have no place to go on any given night. Many of these people are living with disabilities. Many are veterans. And most don’t have a safe, clean place to be during the day either.

Transition runs eight shelters in the city. Seven are open 24 hours, meaning that clients can come in and take advantage of services whenever they need them. And because Transition’s policy is built on meeting people where they’re at, clients can enter with their partners (many traditional shelters separate mixed-gender couples), their pets, and their possessions.

ā€œWhen you're living on the street, you already have a lot of barriers. We want the least amount of barriers to keep you from coming inside and getting our help,ā€ says Roma Peyser, Transition’s Director of Development.

One such barrier is the late in/early out policy of many traditional shelters. At Transition, the staff know that this model often doesn't provide enough support to help people change their circumstances.

People who come in tired at the end of the night aren't prepared to do anything other than sleep. However, if they’ve had a good night’s rest in a clean bed, the chance to take care of their basic hygienic needs, and know that they don’t have to leave immediately, they’re more likely to be open to assistance that can transform their lives. And Transition provides services that do just that right in their facilities.

ā€œWe only have one [shelter] that closes in the morning,ā€ says Peyser. ā€œThat's it. The rest are all offering wraparound services. It gives us a chance to develop a relationship [with the client] and get a good understanding of what each person needs so that we can guide the case managers.ā€

With the 24-hour model, Transition’s been able to offer clients more programming than they might find elsewhere. This includes AA meetings, art therapy, and mental health support. They provide clients with peer support from mentors who have lived in the shelter. They work to connect clients with medical services, and they have case managers who help veterans learn about and receive their benefits.

Transition also runs a resource center during the day. It’s a clean space where people can come in, take a shower, take care of other basic needs like cleaning their clothes, get connected to a mental health counselor, and start working with a case manager to navigate the often difficult path to housing. The center allows participants to spend the day where they feel safe and supported — something many of us with homes can take for granted.

It's a testament to why clean matters* — it can be the difference between an ordinary day and one that puts you on the path to a better, brighter future.

Since approximately a quarter of Transition’s shelter participants are working, having a place where they can come in and leave their belongings not only helps them stay in the program, it reduces the stigma around homelessness. Transition’s goal is to end stigma while simultaneously providing services that clients need.

ā€œWe’ve flipped the way shelters work on its head,ā€ Peyser says.

For many people, Transition has made a life-changing difference. The program helps more than 1,000 people a year find housing.

For the people who use the services Transition offers, being involved in a group, taking a class, or even using the computer lab is a step towards feeling like an integral member of society again. And being able to do that in a space that’s clean, bright and feels welcoming is just the beginning. What happens next means everything.

For Danita, a Transition client, having a place to go during both day and night meant that she could focus on getting a job. Now she’s a program manager who helps women find and maintain affordable housing. It’s thanks to Transition that she’s come to a place in her life where she can give back.

Jon and Jennifer used Transition’s day program because they knew that it was a place that they would always be welcomed. It’s where they showered and did laundry. It's where they took classes. When the couple decided to pursue long-term housing, they used Transition’s services to help them find and maintain it. After that milestone was achieved, Jennifer was reunited with her teen daughter (who now also lives with the couple).

Today, both partners work at Transition helping others who, like them, may only be looking for a warm, clean place to be for right now, but for whom a better future may be closer than they think.

ā€œHousing is hope,ā€ says Peyser. For the thousands upon thousands of people that Transition has helped, that hope starts with consistently open doors to a safe space.

* Clorox believes clean has the power to transforms lives, which is why they've partnered with Upworthy to promote those same traits in people, actions and ideas. Cleaning up and transformation are important aspects of many of our social good stories. Check out the rest in the campaign to read more.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

ā€œWhen I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,ā€ Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


ā€œI went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,ā€ Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

ā€œShe immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,ā€ Omary said. ā€œFrom that moment on, she became my support system.ā€

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

ā€œShe would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,ā€ Omary said. ā€œShe helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.ā€

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

ā€œHer support truly changed my life,ā€ Omary said. ā€œHer motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.ā€

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

ā€œThat experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,ā€ she said. ā€œI want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.ā€

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

ā€œWelcoming new families today has many challenges,ā€ Omary said. ā€œOne major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.ā€ For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

ā€œWelcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,ā€ Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

ā€œI built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,ā€ Omary said. ā€œCommunity and kindness were my greatest strengths.ā€

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s ā€œThe Threads Between U.S.ā€ series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Health

Psychologists say there are 4 types of introverts. These are the personality traits of each one.

The four types of introverts: Social, Thinking, Anxious, and Restrained.

introvert, introvers, types of introverts, introverted, introvert types, 4 introvert types

A woman sits in a chair reading a book.

Introverts can have many personality stereotypes. Many people assume they are quiet homebodies who prefer alone time, but not all introverts are the same.

Psychologist Jonathan M. Cheek, along with his colleagues Jennifer Grimes and Julie Norem at Wellesley College, presented findings in a 2011 study identifying four types of introverts: Social, Thinking, Anxious, and Restrained (STAR).


"Many people assume introversion is fixed, but introversion is on a spectrum," Chloƫ Bean, a somatic trauma therapist in Los Angeles, told Upworthy.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Essentially, there is no one-size-fits-all type of introvert.

"It can shift depending on life phase, your stress level, burnout, support system, and trauma history," Bean said. "What looks like 'being introverted' is sometimes the nervous system doing it's job, protecting you especially when you're feeling overwhelmed or need to connect with yourself more."

Four types of introverts

In an interview with The Cut, Cheek explained that these introvert "types" are more like "shades," and that introverts are often a mix of each one. Here's what you need to know about each type of introvert:

introvert, introverts, being introverted, social introvert, introverts hanging out Three women sit on a blanket in the park. Photo credit: Canva

Social introverts

Bean noted that social introverts may be selective about who they connect with. They enjoy spending time with others but need downtime to recover.

"They prefer to stay home with a book or a computer, or to stick to small gatherings with close friends, as opposed to attending large parties with many strangers," Cheek explained.

How to tell if it's you:

"You may tend to lose a lot of energy when socializing in large groups even when they're fun and prefer one-on-one time," said Bean. "You may feel more regulated with one person at a time, as you can feel overstimulated with more than one person at a time."

Thinking introverts

Thinking introverts are internally rich, deep, and active but appear quiet on the outside, Bean noted. They spend a lot of time reflecting, imagining, creating, or analyzing.

"You're capable of getting lost in an internal fantasy world," Cheek said. "But it's not in a neurotic way, it's in an imaginative and creative way."

How to tell if it's you:

"You feel energized and excited by ideas but you feel exhausted when there is constant feedback and stimulation externally," Bean explained. "You need time to be with your thoughts to come to your conclusion so staying with your inner voice and process is supportive because you can get easily distracted by others' thoughts and opinions."

@onlyjayus

The 4 Types Of Introverts

Anxious introverts

Bean said that anxious introverts deal with anxiety and avoidance driven by fear, as the body anticipates rejection or not being accepted socially.

How to tell if it's you:

"You might replay conversations, dread upcoming plans and cancel them when the tension and anxiety gets too strong," Bean shared. "This is often less about your personality and more about your nervous system feeling dysregulated by thoughts about socializing."

Restrained introverts

Restrained introverts are highly observant, take time to warm up to others, and are cautious about who they spend their energy with, Bean explained.

How to tell if it's you:

"It might take you some time to feel like you can trust others and feel safe enough to speak up," Bean said. "You might also avoid being put on the spot or being the center of attention."

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo

Tired man (left); energized man (right)

The benefits of getting a good night's sleep are too vast to name. Sleep is as essential for our brains as food and water are for our bodies. If you're not getting enough, sleeping better has been shown to elevate your mood, improve your memory, and even boost your physical health. And then there's the obvious: when you don't sleep well, you'll have less energy and generally perform worse on tasks that require any kind of effort or thought.

However, we're all human, and, sometimes, humans sleep terribly. Your infant might wake you up, or a car alarm might go off outside, interrupting your regularly-scheduled REM. It's not always our fault when we don't sleep well, but there might be an interesting way to fix it.


A study from 2014 may have demonstrated the existence of something called "placebo sleep," or tricking your brain into believing you slept better than you did.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo a man sitting at a desk with his head on his arms Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

The placebo effect, of course, has been studied relentlessly over the years and has shown that the human body can do amazing, almost impossible things, when the brain gets on board. The classic example is when symptoms of disease get measurably better after a patient takes a "fake" pill. Another study out of Harvard showed that people who were told their jobs qualified as exercise showed improved health and fitness markers compared to people who did the same job. Placebos even work when the person knows they're taking a placebo. It's called an "honest placebo" and is considered a legitimate, ethical treatment method for many ailments.

The researchers in 2014 wanted to find out if the placebo effect could also apply to sleep. So, they lectured a group of participants about the importance of REM sleep and how it can effect cognitive functioning. The participants were then split into two groups and monitored overnight while they slept. The next morning, one group was told they achieved 28.7% REM sleep, which is terrific, and the other group was told they only spent 16.2% of their sleep time in REM, which is below average. The numbers, however, were complete fiction.

Stunningly, the participants who believed they achieved top quality sleep performed better the next day on a series of arithmetic and word association tests compared to the other groups.

In their conclusion, the authors wrote, "These findings supported the hypothesis that mindset can influence cognitive states in both positive and negative directions, suggesting a means of controlling one's health and cognition."

According to Smithsonian Magazine, follow up experiments confirmed the findings.

The key to feeling great and performing as if you had a great night's sleep may lie in simply believing that you did.

There are a lot of ways to "placebo your sleep" in order to generate that belief. For starters, you can adopt a new routine or technique or even supplement in order to prime your brain.

John Cline Ph.D. asserts for Psychology Today that the popularity of sleeping aids like melatonin may be tied less to the fact that they work, and more to the fact that people believe they work. But you don't need to take any supplements or medications. Having a slow evening wind down with a book and an herbal tea, trying a new sleeping position, or practicing some measured breathing might work just as well. Or, rather, they might work precisely because you believe they will.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo Can a warm cup of tea help you sleep better? If you believe it, then yes. Photo by Dana Ciurumelea on Unsplash

You could take the concept a step further and alter your morning routine on nights you know for a fact you didn't sleep well. Perhaps it's by using a new coffee brand, doing some stretches before getting out of bed, or meditating before starting your day. Anything that you truly believe might help make you more alert and focused may just work.

One viral social media sleep trend capitalizes on this research perfectly. Researchers have shown that forcing your mouth into a smile has been shown to improve your mood. Turns out, similarly, you may be able to get sleepy by pretending to be super tired. Psychologist Erica Terblanche calls it the "alpha bridge," and it involves gently closing your eyes, fluttering them open just a tad, and then closing them again as you relax and breath. It simulates the feeling of "nodding off" and is said to create the alpha brainwaves that transition your brain from wakefulness to sleep. It's another clever way of tricking your own brain.


@erica.terblanche

Here's a skill to help you fall asleep on an airplane or anywhere else for that matter. . Its called going over the Alpha Bridge. #EricaTerblanche #ThriveGuru #motivation #sleeping

It sounds cheesy, but the power of mindset and positive thinking is truly tremendous. Our beliefs and thought patterns can greatly influence our body, our behavior, and our mood. Sometimes, our mindset can even be stronger than actual reality. Now we have the data to prove that it applies to our precious sleep, too.

conflict resolution, conflict resolution for kids, finding common ground, conversation tips, ending an argument, substitute teacher
via @brightsignslearning/TikTok, used with permission

A teacher shared how encouraging her student to find common ground instantly stopped an argument

Tennessee-based educator Shelby Rideout was substituting for a third-grade class when she noticed two young girls, who were otherwise ā€œreally sweet, fun, kind,ā€ start arguing with one another. The solution she found to instantly ease that conflict was surprisingly simple.

She encouraged them to ā€œLook for some common ground.ā€


Without missing a beat, the girls were able to make one connection after another (ā€œJesusā€ and ā€œEthiopian food,ā€ in this case) without any further guidance from Rideout. Within minutes, they went from bickering to ā€œhootin’ and hollerin’ and laughing.ā€

Rideout shared this story to her TikTok, with the message that: ā€œIt is literally that simple. I feel like we’re a world where everyone is looking for a problem…why not look for how to get along?ā€

ā€œI don't care if it’s just that you both like peaches,ā€ she quipped. ā€œThat’s a start. That’s how we start.ā€

In an interview with Today, Rideout even argued that this method of finding common ground is how we ease conflict in the adult world. ā€œWhether someone leans left or right,ā€ she said, ā€œmost people are motivated by the same goal: to make things better.ā€

Several viewers even proved this point by sharing some of their own positive anecdotes that came from incorporating this mindset into their everyday lives.

ā€œI was an elected official for 24 years. I used a version of your solution often, especially with elected officials of the other party,ā€ one person wrote.

Another added: ā€œI made a conscious decision to befriend a co-worker who I was really struggling with. I started going out of my way to extend extra kindness to them. We now get along beautifully!ā€

In this day and age, it’s easy to forget that most people are not as far apart as they think. Thankfully, they just need a starting point that reminds them of their shared humanity.

If you want to try Rideout’s "common ground" approach in your own life, here are a few simple ways to start.

conflict resolution, conflict resolution for kids, finding common ground, conversation tips, ending an argument, substitute teacher Two women engaging in a pleasant conversation inside a coffee shopPhoto credit: Canva

First, ask open-ended questions. Instead of focusing on what you disagree about, ask about hobbies, favorite foods, music, or weekend plans. Shared interests often appear quickly when the conversation is relaxed.

Second, listen for common values. Even when opinions differ, people often care about the same underlying goals, such as safety, fairness, family, or community. Naming those shared values can shift the tone of a conversation.

Third, keep it small. Common ground does not have to be profound. Maybe you both love a certain coffee shop. Maybe you both dread Monday mornings. Small points of connection can build trust over time.

Fourth, lead with kindness. A smile, a compliment, or a moment of patience can make someone more willing to meet you halfway. Kindness often opens the door to connection.

Finally, remember that, as Rideout mentioned, common ground is a beginning, not a solution to every problem. You can still disagree. You can still set boundaries. But starting from a place of shared understanding makes it easier to move forward with respect.

conflict resolution, conflict resolution for kids, finding common ground, conversation tips, ending an argument, substitute teacher Two men engaging in a peaceful disagreement.Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line: Rideout’s classroom moment is a reminder that the tools for better communication are often simple and accessible. Two third graders found their way back to laughter by naming what they shared. Adults can do the same.

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet

A woman zipping up her lips.

There are times to speak up, moments when it’s best to say nothing, and opportunities be very considerate in your response. But when you’re on the receiving end of a back-handed compliment, a foolish remark, or a coworker takes you down a peg, and your emotions are up, it can be hard to have a thoughtful response. Often, we say something we shouldn’t.

How is it that some folks fly off the handle and say things they’ll later regret, while others can stay calm and remove themselves from the situation or take the high ground? One way to be less impulsive with your words is to use the ā€œname it to tame itā€ neuroscience hack, originally coined by author and psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel. When used properly, it allows you to step back from the moment and choose the best response in a challenging situation.


shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet A man saying "be quiet."via Canva/Photos

How to use the ā€˜name it to tame it’ hack

When someone upsets you, the first thing to do is to go inside yourself and describe the emotion that you feel in your body. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you afraid? Do you feel rejected? Are you disappointed? The moment you name the emotion, it will begin to subside and give you the emotional and mental room to respond to the person who caused the negative emotion, rather than impulsively reacting.

How to respond to a reactive emotion so you don’t fly off the handle:

Event happens:

1. Your body stiffens up

2. You feel an intense emotion

3. You examine the emotion and give it a name: ā€œMy body is telling me I am angry.ā€

4. You should feel the emotion beginning to subside

5. Choose your response instead of being impulsive

shhh, quiet, zip it, mouth closed, say nothing, be quiet A woman zipping up her mouth.via Canva/Photos

Why does ā€˜name it to tame it’ work?

ā€œName it to tame itā€ works because, when we have a strong emotional reaction, our lizard brain kicks in, and we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. The lizard brain is not known for giving thoughtful and strategic responses to challenging situations. When we name the emotion, our prefrontal cortex, or the thinking brain, kicks in. The thinking brain looks at the situation and says, ā€œAlright, we don’t need to run or fight here. It's best to give a strategic response.ā€

When we tune into the negative emotions by naming them, they relax because they feel heard, like when a child has hurt their knee or a loved one has real concern and you gives them undivided attention. Once the emotions are named, they are tamed. Then, you are more likely to respond to the negative person with grace and speak from the best part of yourself.

Dr. Dan Siegel, who coined the phrase ā€œName it to tame it,ā€ explains the brain science behind the technique in the video below. He does a great job of explaining how it allows us to transfer our thoughts from the downstairs brain (the lizard brain) to the upstairs brain (the thinking brain), so we can calm down and respond appropriately to the situation.

- YouTube www.youtube.com