
Peter and Lisa Marshall's romance began 20 years ago, after the former neighbors had each gotten divorced. They lived in different states and maintained a long-distance relationship for eight years, as neither wanted to uproot her kids. After Lisa's youngest went off to college in 2009, the couple decided to get married.
A dream Turks and Caicos beach wedding followed. Lisa moved to Peter's home in Connecticut, where they enjoyed seven years of marital bliss. Then the warning signs hit.
Peter started giving Lisa directions to their home. He began having trouble finishing sentences, struggling for the words
"Instead of the word 'airplane,' he'd say, 'that thing that goes up in the sky,' " Lisa told The Washington Post. "He also became pretty forgetful, but the word deficiency was really hard to ignore."
Peter went to a neurologist in 2018 and was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. He was 52.
"Before his diagnosis, I always thought that Alzheimer's was an old person's disease," Lisa told the Post. "Now I know better."
Peter's cognitive impairment accelerated quickly. By January of 2019, he had to quit his job. The following year, Lisa quit hers to become his full-time caretaker.
Needless to say, it's been an incredibly difficult journey for Lisa, and well as the couple's five children, as Peter's memory of his life and loved ones fades—including his memory of being married to Lisa.
But late last year, a beautiful moment of hope broke through the darkness. Lisa and Peter were watching a show that featured a wedding when Peter suddenly looked over at Lisa and said, "Let's do it!"
"Do what?" Lisa asked.
Peter pointed to the wedding scene on the TV.
"Do you want to get married?" Lisa asked.
With a big smile, Peter said yes.
"Well, okay," Lisa responded. "We should get married then."
He wouldn't remember the proposal the next day, but the idea of renewing their wedding vows resonated with Lisa. "For better or for worse" had taken on a whole new meaning after Peter's diagnosis, and his condition has worsened since January of this year. For the past six months, he has seen Lisa as his favorite caretaker, not his wife.
Lisa's daughter, Sarah Brehant, runs a wedding planning business and offered to organize the ceremony. She networked with vendors, who all offered to provide their services for free.
"I knew that my stepdad, who I am very close with, was there through some of the toughest times of my life," Brehant told the Post. "He means so much to me, and my mom is my best friend, so I was proud to be able to take on such an important role."
Sarah wrote in a touching Father's Day post that Peter had started telling her he loved her every chance he got after his diagnosis.
"I knew he wanted to make sure I knew before he couldn't tell me anymore," she wrote. "He'd say it every chance he could get while he still could, every time we saw each other."
Peter and Lisa renewed their wedding vows on April 26 in a ceremony attended by friends and family and officiated by a dementia specialist who helped Lisa set up a care plan for Peter.
"It was just magical — straight out of a fairy tale," Lisa said.
When Lisa got to the altar, Peter leaned in and gave her a kiss.
"There wasn't a dry eye, and I was over the moon," she said. "I hadn't seen Peter that happy in a long time."
"It was absolutely magical," Sarah told The Knot, "and Peter was bright and present the entire day. The sweetest moment of the day was when he had a very lucid moment and he leaned in and whispered in my ear, 'Thank you for staying.'"
Watch this beautiful video of highlights from the big day:
Emotional Vow Renewal // Mill 1 at Open Square // Lisa + Peterwww.youtube.com
As lovely as the vow renewal was, it would be disingenuous to leave the story there. Lisa has been documenting the couple's Alzheimer's journey—the inspiring and the challenging—via her Facebook page Oh Hello Alzheimer's. In her posts, it's clear what an up and down experience it is to love someone who is losing themselves.
On June 14, Lisa shared a bittersweet post about the difficulty of watching Peter disappear, only to be reassured by him when she cried into his chest, "We still have time."
Then, just five days later, Lisa shared a post about how Peter's condition has reached a point where the daycare that gave Lisa a respite from full-time care was no longer viable as he's grown more anxious and agitated. Alzheimer's patients can become increasingly paranoid and hallucinate as the disease progresses, which can lead to anger and aggressive behavior.
"I knew the call would come," Lisa wrote, "I was well aware that it would happen. I just thought I'd have more time."
The decisions about care for a loved one with advancing Alzheimer's are never easy, and time is never guaranteed. Although Lisa and Peter's story is hard to witness, her openness is also providing solidarity and support for countless families who are going through similar experiences with their loved ones.
Lisa has also used her Facebook page to raise money for Alzheimer's research, and after seeing Peter's story, it's obvious why it's so needed. As Lisa reminds us, Alzheimer's is a terminal disease, and as of now, there is no cure. You can donate to the Alzheimer's Association via Lisa's team link here.
As for advice for other couples, "The only thing that matters is love and respect," Lisa told The Knot. "You treat each other with gentle kindness every day and you reach deep into your heart for more patience and understanding than you think you have. You love deeply and immensely and you make memories intentionally. Be present."
Despite Peter forgetting her, Lisa added, "I'm the luckiest woman in the world. The man of my dreams fell in love with me and asked me to marry him twice. He chose me again."
All our best to Lisa and Peter as they navigate their remaining time together.
- How one nursing home is helping its residents regain a sense of ... ›
- Man builds a custom 'bike chair' for wife with Alzheimer's so they can ... ›
- A former ballerina with Alzheimer's hears 'Swan Lake' and bursts ... ›
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."