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Family

Dad's response to daughter's crash on a skate ramp is a masterclass in awesome parenting

A beautiful blend of empathy, encouragement and empowerment.

parenting, fatherhood, dads, skateboarding
@chasing.sage/Instagram

This dad exemplifies stellar parenting.

As a parent, it's not always easy to know how to help your kids learn from life experiences. Some lessons they learn naturally and others they learn through parental guidance, but discerning which is which and how those things overlap can be challenging.

Kids don't come with instruction manuals, of course, but sometimes we see examples of great parenting we can point to and say, "AHA! That's how it's done."

One such example comes from a dad named Robert. He's been teaching his 5-year-old daughter Aubrin to skateboard and set up a mini half pipe for her to learn on. In a video on Instagram, Robert shared his interchanges with Aubrin after she crashed hard on the ramp during a lesson.

It's a sweet video that doubles as a masterclass in effective parenting. Robert communicates with a perfect blend of empathy, encouragement and empowerment, which gives his daughter exactly what she needs to tackle her fears and persevere in what she wants to do.

Even his initial question after she fell—"Did it scare you or did it hurt you?"—is helpful for making her more aware of what she's actually feeling as well as knowing how best to help her.

Seeing this gentle parenting scenario play out is just so heartwarming. (And if Aubrin's voice sounds familiar, you may have seen the viral "stuckasaurus" video in which she offered delightful color commentary while snowboarding in a dinosaur suit.)

Watch:

Robert explained his thinking behind the way he responded to Aubrin's fall:

"Trying something new can be scary but re-trying something after slamming can be terrifying.

I had to re-gain her trust and she needed to re-establish her confidence after this slam and it was a tough but beautiful rollercoaster experience.

This is one of the biggest psychological battles we face as humans, because once that negative experience has made its home in our brain it’s very hard to get it out.

I know from intense personal experience that a bad fall can have long lasting [psychological] effects and truly believe, that when possible, it’s best to get back up and try it again with the goal being to end the session with a positive experience; to not have that negative memory ruminating in your head until the next time you return to try.

I’ve been asked a lot 'How do you know what to say in these moments?' and the truth is I absolutely don’t know what to say.

Seeing her slam sucks the air out of my lungs and my heart drops but I just try to stay calm and redirect with some questions or comments while surveying the situation. A parent's emotions (depending on how you instinctively react) will oftentimes influence the child’s emotional response and it’s my goal to remove my influence and allow her to just be, to feel, to hurt at her pace and it allows me to get a better reading of how she’s truly feeling in these pivotal moments.

Ultimately I just respond from the heart. If you calmly lead with empathy and support without applying pressure you’ll do just fine."

Beautiful insight and advice. Unfortunately, many parents are raising kids while working through wounds from their own childhoods, and when you're battling parental instincts that aren't particularly healthy or helpful, having it all laid out like this is really valuable. Commenters on Instagram and Reddit have expressed how much they appreciate seeing supportive parenting in action.

"I actually got emotional watching this..." wrote one person. "I am learning so much from your posts!!! As someone whose parents led from a place of fear a lot of the time, this is showing me so much possibility of what the opposite can look like. Thank you for being so open, we are all made the better from it."

"I wish I had a dad like you growing up. She’s so lucky," wrote another.

"Made me smile and also as a grown ass man, gave me watery eyes - as someone that never had this kind of treatment growing up and kind of needed it - this is the kind of dad I will be if I ever meet someone and have kids," shared another.

Whether we were raised by gentle, supportive parents or the opposite, we can all recognize effective parenting when we see it. Thank you, Robert, for sharing such a stellar example we can all watch and learn from.

You can follow Robert and Aubrin's family adventures on Instagram (@chasing.sage).

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Parenting

Psychologist shares the 5 'core' memories your child will cherish from their childhood

A lot of parents will be surprised by her answers.

via Julia Kuzenkov/Pexels

A young girl relaxing in an inner tube.


There’s a popular trend where parents often share they are creating “core memories” for their children on social media posts, whether it’s planning an elaborate vacation or creating an extra-special holiday moment.

While it’s important for parents to want their kids to have happy childhoods, sometimes it feels presumptuous when they believe they can manufacture a core memory. Especially when a child’s inner world is so much different than an adult's.

Carol Kim, a mother of 3 and licensed Marriage and family Therapist, known as ParentingResilience on Instagram, recently shared the “5 Things Kids Will Remember from Their Childhood” on her page. The fascinating insight is that none of the entries had to do with extravagant vacations, over-the-top birthday parties, or Christmas gifts that kids could only dream about.

According to Kim, the five things that kids will remember all revolve around their parents' presence and support. "Notice how creating good memories doesn’t require expensive toys or lavish family trips. Your presence is the most valuable present you can give to your child,” Kim wrote in the post’s description.

1. Quality time together

"Taking some time to focus only on your child is very special. Playing games, reading books, or just talking can create strong, happy memories. These moments show your child that you are present with them."

2. Words of encouragement

"Encouraging words can greatly impact your child during both good times and tough times. Kids often seek approval from their parents and your positive words can be a strong motivator and source of comfort.... It can help kids believe in themselves, giving them the confidence to take on new challenges and keep going when things get tough."

parenting, core memories, quality time

A mother and child riding a small bike.

via Gustavo Fring/Pexels

3. Family traditions

“It creates a feeling of stability and togetherness … Family traditions make children feel like they belong and are part of a larger story, deepening their sense of security and understanding of family identity and values.”

4. Acts of kindness

“Seeing and doing kind things leaves a strong impression on children. It shows them the importance of being kind and caring. They remember how good it feels to help others and to see their parents helping too.”

5. Comfort during tough times

"Knowing they can rely on you during tough times makes them feel secure and build trust. … Comforting them when they're struggling shows them they are loved no matter what, helping them feel emotionally secure and strong."

parenting, core memories, quality time

A family making a meal together.

via Elina Fairytale/Pexels

Kim’s strategies are all beautiful ways to be present in our children’s lives and to communicate our support. However, these seemingly simple behaviors can be challenging for some parents who are dealing with issues stemming from their pasts.

“If you find barriers to providing these things, it’s important to reflect on why,” Kim writes in the post. “There could be several reasons, such as parenting in isolation (we’re not meant to parent alone), feeling overstimulated, dealing with past trauma, or struggling with mental health. Recognizing these challenges is the first step to addressing them and finding support.”


This article originally appeared on 6.10.24

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Joy

German toddler schools his dad on driving—and the rest of us on the origins of English

A hilarious viral video demonstrates why English is considered a Germanic language.

Photo by Helena Jankovičová Kováčová/Pexels

Out of the mouths of babes…

Tiny humans talking is cute in any language, but sometimes a video comes along that take adorable to a whole new level. Remember the little girl who was passionate about pencil justice? Or the Italian preschooler who did a full Italian rant about a miniskirt? Kids say the darnedest things, and when the darned things they say are caught on video, virality almost inevitable.

Now there's the German toddler who sternly gives his father a road rules lesson, literally side-seat driving and chastising him for accelerating too fast. His "Oh, mein Gott!" has people rolling, as does his ingrained respect for the rules of proper driving.

Watch:

Not only is the video a hilarious viral moment on its own merit, but it's also a pretty solid demonstration of how the English language originated.

English is considered a Germanic language, which is sometimes confusing because most of the words we use don't actually come from German. Some people mistakenly think English is a romance language like Spanish or French, but it's not. More than half of our vocabulary comes from French and Latin, though, hence a lot of the confusion.

Around a quarter of our vocabulary comes from German, but where our Germanic roots really come through is in our grammar and syntax. The order in which we say words is the same, such as putting adjectives in front of nouns (which is the opposite of romance languages). And our grammatical structure is very similar, with only a handful of somewhat minor differences.

As we see in the video, the German sentences are almost understandable without even having the translations on the screen. In the beginning, it almost sounds exactly like he's saying "Wait! Stop! Halt!" just with a German accent, even though he's actually speaking German. "Papa, da ist rot!" is so close to "Papa, that is red!" And "Oh, mein Gott!" is very clearly, "Oh, my God!" which is part of why English-speakers are finding the video so entertaining and also educational.

Check out these comments:

"We need an entire channel with this kid teaching us to speak German."

"Need my GPS to go 'aaaah! Mein gott, das ist zu viel' when I go over the speed limit."

"I just learned so much German.. this baby is more effective than Duolingo lol."

"MY German instructor. I'd so learn how to speak German from this baby 😭💕 I just learned like 5 words already!"

"How is it I can't understand toddlers that speak English but I can understand a German toddler without even knowing the language 😂"

"Americans are so much more used to hearing Spanish and French that we forget that our own language has nothing to do with them, and is actually much more closely related to what this little boy is saying. That's why it sounds so familiar to American ear ! :-)"

People also joked about his adult-like adherence to rules and regulations, as the German culture is known for such things.

"He's between 3 and 75 years old."

"This ain't kids first life on earth."

"Did he learn that somewhere or is that factory settings?"

"Lil bro has a decent credit score already and he isn't even fully out of the diaper stage of his life😂"

"That’s not a kid, that’s a full grown driving instructor 🤣🤣"

Thanks to the wee German lad for the fabulous driving and language lesson.

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Pop Culture

Fans applaud Quinta Brunson for how she supported Jennifer Aniston during an emotional interview moment

“Quinta handled this masterfully."

@variety/TikTok

The way Brunson comforted Aniston speaks volumes.

For those not familiar with Variety's “Actors on Actors,” it’s a live interview series where two actors discuss various aspects of their craft and career. Often, actors will be paired together because of a common thread. Margot Robbie and Cillian Murphy during the height of Barbenheimer, for example. Or Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt—both from “The Devil Wears Prada.”

So it’s no surprise that two comedy queens, Jennifer Aniston and Quinta Brunson, would be paired together for the latest “Actors on Actors” segment. What people are astounded by, however, is the way Brunson handled a very serious moment.

At one point during the conversation, a producer off camera suggested that Brunson ask Aniston “what it’s like to watch ‘Friends’ now.”

This clearly struck a chord with Aniston, who, already tearing up, said “don’t make me cry.”

Noticing this Brunson said in a soft voice, “You’re already crying. Do you want a minute?,” before assuring her “We don’t have to talk about [this].”

@varietymagazine Jennifer Aniston gets emotional when asked about "Friends." #ActorsOnActors ♬ original sound - Variety

Tilting her head up to not let the tears fall, Aniston replied “No, no, sorry, I just started thinking about...” before Brunson quickly said “I know. Yeah.”

It’s evident that Aniston’s emotional reaction is triggered by the loss of her former “Friends” cast mate Matthew Perry, who died October 28, 2023. The pair’s friendship remained strong even after the show ended in 2004—Perry even revealed that Aniston was the member of their group who reached out to him “the most” during his sobriety journey.

All this to say, Aniston was understandably triggered by the question. Brunson saw that, and acted accordingly. She once again offered “we don’t have to talk about it,” waited while Aniston grabbed a tissue to compose herself, then masterfully guided the conversation to a joke.

“So, Jen, ‘Friends’ is turning 30…and you are turning 30…When you were a baby on that show, you were so advanced…your fine motor skills were insane”

Viewers applauded the “Abbott Elementary” star for “taking care” of Aniston’s emotional wellbeing.

”Quinta gets props for saying to Jennifer, ‘We don’t have to go there if you don’t want to.’ I get why the producers were trying to create that buzzworthy moment, but I also appreciate Quinta’s willingness to derail it for Jennifer’s sake,” one person wrote on Youtube

“Quinta’s little ‘I know’ — it was so simple but so kind and empathetic,” added another.

Over on TikTok, comments were just as complimentary.

“Quinta handled this masterfully,” wrote one person.

Another echoed, “How Quinta handled that- that’s why she’s where she’s at.”

Seeing people take care of one another never gets old.

You can watch the full conversation between Brunson and Aniston below:

This article originally appeared on 6.9.24

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Internet

The surprising and inspiring reason so many nail salons are Vietnamese owned

20 women and a movie star started it all.

Tippi Hedren/Wikimedia and Tippi Hedren with Vietnamese women/Vietnamese Heritage Museum

The surprising history behind Vietnamese owned nail salons

One of the most frequently seen buildings in any town is a nail salon. It seems you can't go more than a few blocks without seeing one in most cities and if you frequent them, you've probably noticed that many of them are owned and operated by Vietnamese-Americans. There may have been some curiosity about this floating around or maybe people simply assumed it was always this way so they didn't ask.

But it turns out, Vietnamese owned nail shops boomed after the Vietnam War when America had an influx of refugees from the small country. Soogia, a small business owner and social media creator took to the internet to explain exactly why so many nail salons are owned by Vietnamese people after several followers asked her the question.

The surprising history involved a movies star, Tippi Hedren, and 20 young Vietnamese refugee women. Soogia explains that Hedren was working as a relief coordinator for Food for The Hungry in 1975 after the Vietnam war ended to help the women assimilate into American culture.

"Tippi Hedren was working with 20 Vietnamese women and she couldn't help but notice how much they were paying attention to her manicure, and they were so interested in how clean and pretty her nails were. And so she had the idea to have her manicurist and other people in the industry come up and teach these women how to do nails," Soogia shares.

The actress' manicurist came to visit the women weekly to do these classes and when they were ready she helped them get their licenses and jobs. After the women completed the impromptu apprenticeship and were licensed and ready to work, they took their new found skill to their community to teach other refugees.

Soogia points to the popularity of nail salons with the influence of Black culture, specifically Black women saying, "and though Vietnamese people drove the industry of the nail salon Black women really drove the culture. People like Donna Summer, Diana Ross, Florence Griffith Joyner, and now of course we have women like Meg Thee Stallion, and you of course cannot talk about nails and not mention Cardi B."


@soogia1 Many of you wanted to know: Why are so many nail salons run by Vietnamese people? @Soogia (SOO-jee-yah) #nailsalon #manicure #manipedi #tippihedren #dianaross #cardib #megtheestallion #acrylics #gelx ♬ original sound - Soogia (SOO-jee-yah)


So the cause of the rise of the nail industry was really full of serendipitous moments starting with just 20 determined women and an actress who saw an opportunity for the new refugees and the influence of famous Black women. Thanks to her role in catapulting Vietnamese people into nail salon history, Tippi Hedren is known as the Godmother of the Vietnamese nail industry. The documentary "Nailed It" explores the relationship between Vietnamese nail salons and Tippi Hedren as well as how the salons spread across America and can be found on Tubi.

People were surprised at the quick history lesson while others shared their connection with the story, with one writing, "Tippi Hedren was QUITE a unique person leading a very interesting life. I never heard this story before, wow, thank you!"

"My mom is Vietnamese & lost a lot during the war, but her nail skills are amazing," someone shares.

"Thank you for the history lesson! What an amazing and beautiful story," another says.

Another person admits, "I have been genuinely wondering this for ages. Thank you for educating me."

One man found himself getting emotional from her own family history, "this made me tear up. As a Vietnamese person who's mom and aunt did nails it hit home."

What an amazing little piece of history that people can take with them and share with others, and if you're curious about a more in depth explanation, check out the documentary.

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why are so many nail salons vietnamese owned
Health

Professor and skeptic found that there’s one proven way to make yourself luckier

Turn the odds in your favor.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

A man wins at a slot machine.

Are you the type of person who always gets the short end of the stick? Or do seemingly random events always work out in your favor? The interesting thing is that, according to research, whether you think you are lucky or unlucky, you're right.

The good news is that if you have bad luck, you can do some things to improve it.

Richard Wiseman studied 400 people over 10 years and found that people can control what seems uncontrollable: their luck.

Wiseman is the author of “The Luck Factor” and holds Britain’s only professorship in the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire. He is also a fellow of the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry and a “Skeptical Inquirer” consulting editor.

In his research, Wiseman determined that one big thing separated the lucky from the unlucky: Lucky people consider themselves lucky.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

At first glance, this may seem like a simple psychological trick. People who’ve experienced a lot of misfortune will eventually consider themselves unlucky and vice versa. But that’s not the case. People who consider themselves lucky see the world differently than those who do not, giving them more opportunities for something positive to happen.

“Lucky people generate their own good fortune via four basic principles,” Wiseman wrote. “They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

By contrast, Wiseman found that people who considered themselves unlucky experienced more anxiety. “Personality tests revealed that unlucky people are generally much more tense than lucky people, and research has shown that anxiety disrupts people's ability to notice the unexpected,” he wrote.


How can I improve my luck?

If you consider yourself among the unlucky, Wiseman has 3 ways to develop a mindset that can bring more luck.

1. Write in a luck diary

Before you go to bed each night, spend about 30 seconds jotting down why you are lucky in a dairy. Take the time to list the things you’re grateful for, such as your friends, family, or health. You can also list some of the good things that happened during the day.

2. Be flexible

When you drive to work or college, take a different route occasionally. When you go to a party, start talking to the types of people you would normally avoid. Making yourself open to new experiences increases your chances of seeing new opportunities.

3. Trust your gut

People who consider themselves unlucky often fail to follow their intuition when making a choice. Whereas lucky people tend to put a lot of faith in their hunches. Unlucky people tend to focus on the rational part of a question, whereas lucky people follow their feelings. Wiseman believes this gives lucky people an advantage because gut feelings act as an alarm bell—a reason to consider a decision carefully.

Ultimately, Wiseman’s work shows that luck isn’t affected by supernatural beliefs or by holding onto a rabbit's foot. It’s the product of an optimistic view of the world that opens people up to greater possibilities. “Instead, it is about encouraging people to move away from a magical way of thinking and toward a more rational view of luck,” Wiseman wrote. “Perhaps most important of all, it is about using science and skepticism to increase the level of luck, happiness, and success in people’s lives.”

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