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Dad writes heartbreaking message after the death of his son

"Hug your kids. Don’t work too late. "

Young family takes a photo outside

J.R. Storment and his family.

A dad from Portland, Oregon, has taken to LinkedIn to write an emotional plea to parents after he learned that his son had died during a conference call at work. J.R. Storment encouraged parents to spend less time at work and more time with their kids after his son's death.

In his open letter posted on September 3, 2019, Storment explains that his son, Wiley, passed away during his sleep as a result of complications from his mild epilepsy. He then goes on to blast himself for not spending enough time with his son, and encourages other parents to take more time off work.

Young family takes photo in the snow

J.R. Storment and his family

via Facebook

Storment starts by explaining that the day his son passed away started like any other:

"Eight years ago, during the same month, I had twin boys and co-founded Cloudability. About three months ago Cloudability was acquired. About three weeks ago we lost one of our boys."

"When I got the call I was sitting in a conference room with 12 people at our Portland office talking about PTO policies. Minutes earlier, I had admitted to the group that in the last 8 years I'd not taken more than a contiguous week off."

That's when Storment received a call from his distraught wife.

"My wife and I have an agreement that when one of us calls, the other answers. So when the phone rang I stood up and walked to the conference room door immediately."

"I was still walking through the door when I answered with 'Hey, what's up?'"

"Her reply was icy and immediate: 'J.R., Wiley is dead.'"

"'What?' I responded incredulously."

"'Wiley has died.' she reiterated."

"'What?! No.' I yelled out, 'No!'"

"'I'm so sorry, I have to call 911.'"

Storment goes on to explain the chaos that happened next.

"That was the entire conversation. The next thing I know I'm sprinting out the front door of the office with my car keys in hand, running ferociously across the street and muttering 'oh F**k. oh F**k. oh F**k.' Half way down the block I realize I don't have the opener to my parking garage. Running back into the lobby, I all but shout "Someone drive me! Somebody drive me!" Thankfully, a helpful colleague did."

Storment made it home, but not yet knowing the cause of death, police were treating the house as a possible crime scene. The heartbroken father was unable to see his son for two and a half hours.

"When the medical examiner finally finished his work, we were allowed in the room. An eerie calm came over me. I laid down next to him in the bed that he loved, held his hand and kept repeating, 'What happened, buddy? What happened?'"

"We stayed next to him for maybe 30 minutes and stroked his hair before they returned with a gurney to take him away. I walked him out, holding his hand and his forehead through the body bag as he was wheeled down our driveway. Then all the cars drove away. The last one to leave was the black minivan with Wiley in it."

Young family takes photo outside.

J.R. Storment with his wife and sons.

via LinkedIn

Storment goes on to explain his son's dreams and aspirations, and the difficulty he had signing his son's death certificate.

"Wiley was obsessed with starting a business. One day it was a smoothie stand, the next it would be a gallery, then a VR headset company, then a 'coder', then a spaceship building company. In each of these scenarios he was the boss. His brother (and sometimes us) were invited to work for—not with— him and were each assigned jobs. In the gallery scenario, Wiley informed Oliver that he would be manning the cash register."

"Around 5 years old, Wiley decided he was going to get married as an adult. By 6 he had identified the girl, holding her hand at recess on the first day of kindergarten. Over the next two years as we moved from Portland to London to Hawaii, he kept in touch with her by handwritten letter. Not long before we moved back to Portland, the two agreed (by letter) to marry. She beat him to the punch and asked him. He accepted. Happily, he got to see her twice after we moved back to Portland in June."

"One of the countless difficult moments of this month was signing his death certificate. Seeing his name written on the top of it was hard. However, two fields further down the form crushed me. The first said: 'Occupation: Never worked' and the next: 'Marital Status: Never married.' He wanted so badly to do both of those things. I feel both fortunate and guilty to have had success in each."

A handwritten diary entry

Wiley wrote his plans down in his diary.

via LinkedIn

Storment then criticises himself for spending too much time at work. And while it sounds that Wiley got to live an amazing life, Storment only wishes he could have done more with him.

"Over the last three weeks I have come up with an endless stream of things I regret. They tend to fall into two categories: things I wish I had done differently and things I'm sad not to see him do. My wife is constantly reminding me of all the things he did do: Wiley went to 10 countries, drove a car on a farm road in Hawaii, hiked in Greece, snorkeled in Fiji, wore a suit to a fantastic British prep school every day for two years, got rescued from a shark on a jet ski, kissed multiple girls, got good enough at chess to beat me twice in a row, wrote short stories and drew comics obsessively."

Storment hadn't checked on the boys the morning of the tragedy because he had to get up early for meetings, a decision he seems to regret.

"Around 5:40am, the next morning I woke up for a series of back to back meetings. I did a Peloton ride, took an analyst call from my home office, one with a colleague on the drive to work, then the rest at the office. None seem that important now. I left that morning without saying goodbye or checking on the boys."

A couple smile for a photo

J.R. Storment and his wife.

Via Facebook

Storment has a simple message for parents:

"Many have asked what they can do to help. Hug your kids. Don't work too late. A lot of the things you are likely spending your time on you'll regret once you no longer have the time. I'm guessing you have 1:1 meetings on the books with a lot of people you work with. Do you have them regularly scheduled with your kids? If there's any lesson to take away from this, it's to remind others (and myself) not to miss out on the things that matter."

"The big question is how to return to work in a way that won't leave me again with the regrets I have now. To be honest, I've considered not going back. But I believe in the words of Kahlil Gibran who said, 'Work is love made visible.' To me, that line is a testament to how much we gain, grow and offer through the work we do. But that work needs to have a balance that I have rarely lived. It's a balance that lets us offer our gifts to the world but not at the cost of self and family."

"While I sat writing this post, my living son, Oliver, came in to ask for screen time. Instead of saying the usual 'no', I stopped writing and asked if I could play with him. He was happily surprised by my answer and we connected in a way I would have formerly missed out on. Small things matter. One silver lining from this tragedy is the improving relationship I have with him."

"Our family has gone from having two units of two (the parents and the twins) to now being a triangle of three. That's a big adjustment for a family that has always been four. Oliver's brilliant reply when we discussed the shape of our new family: 'But Papa, the triangle is the strongest shape.' By some sad and beautiful irony, Oliver has met three sets of 8-year-old twins in our new neighborhood since Wiley passed."

"I've learned to stop waiting to do the things the kids ask for. When we sold the business I gave each of the boys a $100 dollar bill. They decided to pool their money to buy a tent for camping. But we didn't make it happen before Wiley died. Another regret. So, after the first round of family visits after his death, I took Jessica and Oliver to REI to get gear and we left town quickly to camp near Mt. St. Helens."

"Somehow, we got to the wilderness without enough cash to cover the campground fee and had a slight panic. Jessica then realized that Wiley's $100 bill was still in his seat pocket. He got to spend his money on camping after all. Collectively, the family said a big, 'Thanks, buddy' out-loud to him. It was one of many bittersweet moments we will experience for the rest of our lives. Each happy time brings with it the sadness that he doesn't get to experience it."

"One of Wiley's happy times was listening to music and dancing. Damn, could that kid dance. He loved the Oregon Country Fair and the year before we left for London, we listened to a band there play a version of 'Enjoy yourself (It's later than you think)'. The words stuck with me that day three years ago and painfully so now:"


"You work and work for years and years, you're always on the go

You never take a minute off, too busy makin' dough

Someday, you say, you'll have your fun, when you're a millionaire

Imagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chair

Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think

Enjoy yourself, while you're still in the pink

The years go by, as quickly as a wink

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself, it's later than you think"


This article originally appeared four years ago.

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

@taylorquitara/TikTok

This is next level cat parenting.

Listen, do pet parents need to go out of their way to provide extravagant indulgences for their fur baby in order for them to feel loved? No. But is it incredibly fun—inspiring, even—to watch when they do? Absolutely.

Take for instance Taylor Quitara’s completely decked out “mini bedroom” for her cat Giuseppe. This ingenious idea sparked when Quitara noticed her feline friend took a liking to this mysterious nook in the wall of one of the bedrooms in her home. Considering the wall paper and small light already installed, it very well could have been a small cat bedroom previously.

Quitara, a multifaceted artist who clearly knows her way around DIY home decor, quickly got to work, swapping out the black and white wallpaper for a fun and whimsical pattern with zebras (which just so happened to feature in The Royal Tenenbaums), staining and assembling a toy bed she found from Ikea, buying a lovely blue couch that doubles as a scratching pad, installing a climbing gym, and even putting up a gallery wall.

Throughout her journey, which she shared on TikTok, it’s clear that this is a labor of love in the purest form. Quitara is having the time of her life applying all her creativity to making her fur baby’s life that much more enjoyable. And the results pretty much speak for themselves.

Ugh, cuteness overload! And while not every cat owner certainly doesn't need to apply this level of extra to their cat’s sanctuary, it is important that they do have some comfy places to just chill by themselves for an hour or two.

How to create the purrfect kitty sanctuary

You can go create one solid space, like Quitara’s mini bedroom or a small “catio,” or, alternatively, you can opt for multiple smaller hiding spaces throughout your home, so long as they provide a bit of peace and quiet—as well as scratching opportunities.

It’s great to have both vertical spaces that require climbing, such as a cat tree, hammock, shelf, or perch, as well as a small horizontal space for nestling in, like a small box or basket. Many cat parents leave a designated space for their cat under the bed in a closet, or at the bottom of a bookshelf, for instance. Point being: you can get creative with this.

It’s also worth noting that no matter what safe space you provide for kitty, they might not take to it overnight. Even Quitara noted that Giuseppe hasn’t actually slept in his mini bedroom yet. Still looks incredibly cool though.

And perhaps the bigger point in all this is—there’s so much joy, love, creative expression [insert any positive emotion you wish] to be had when we put our heart and soul into providing the best possible life for our pets. It’s not about just buying them the bougiest food or the most expensive toy on the market, but the amount of love and energy we contribute. And what an amazing gift it is to give that.

A woman is shocked when she moves into her new apartment.

There has been a lot of fun chatter online about how Americans are different from Europeans in many ways. The most often cited differences are that Americans are incredibly friendly (to everyone), love to carry massive bottles of water with them everywhere, and have very loud voices. There are also differences when it comes to their homes. Americans love having large refrigerators, stocking up on groceries, and buying in bulk. Europeans tend to favor regular trips to the store and have a small fridge.

Author Willow Heath of Scotland recently added another thing to the list in her viral TikTok. She explains the confusion she experienced when moving into an apartment where an American couple previously lived. “Question for all the Americans out there. I have just moved into a new place here in Scotland, and previously, this flat was lived in by an American couple,” Health said. “I showed my friend who now lives in L.A. a curious thing about this flat, and they said, ‘Oh yeah, yeah, it's an American thing.' And the thing I'm talking about is hooks.”

Heath then shared all of the hooks she found in the apartment that were not removed after the couple left.

@willowtalksbooks

Do Americans love hooks? #usa #uk

Heath also noted there was a lazy Susan in the refrigerator that she had never seen before. “I've never seen this before. It's actually really cool,” she said, playing with the rotating plastic tray… “It turns around so you can get at things that are at the back so you don't have to reach all the way to the back … my friend said this is also an American thing,” she added.

Some Americans returned fire at Heath by asking why people in the UK don’t have hooks throughout their homes. “Is everything on the floor in Scotland?” one asked. “That couple was so nice to leave all their hooks for you,” another added. One American stood strong on their hook use: “American living in England, their lack of home organizing is astounding to me.”

Another American referenced the current UK versus U.S. realization that Robbie Williams, the subject of the critically acclaimed movie “Better Man” about a rockstar chimp, is massively popular across the pond and virtually unknown in America. “Are British people spending so much time listening to Robbie Williams they don’t know what hooks are?” a commenter joked.



One commenter, most likely in the UK, blamed the excessive number of hooks on American consumer culture. “We don't buy random stuff, so no need to hang everything, Americans hoard everything,” they noted.

At the end of the video, Heath shared that she wasn’t putting Americans down; she just never realized how much they like hanging things from hooks. “I'm not saying they're not useful, and I spent time in the States. I lived in upstate New York for a few months,” Heath said. “I like the U.S., I like Americans, I'm not attacking you … I just think this is an interesting cultural difference, hooks everywhere.” The good news for Heath is that nobody took the hooks down, so she may learn why Americans love them so much. As for Robbie Williams, not so much.

Joy

Irish couple got 'the chuckles' in video for daughter overseas. It's pure laughter therapy.

They couldn't keep it together in their baby shower message, even on their final attempt.

Representative photo credit: Canva

Sometimes you just can't keep it together.

Have you ever gotten the giggles at the most inopportune time, like when you're trying to do or say something serious? We've seen it happen to actors filming comedic scenes, news anchors during broadcasts, singers in church services, kids in spelling bees, and more. When the giggle bug bites, it bites hard, and keeping it together can sometimes feel like a superhuman feat.

That's what happened to a woman's parents in Ireland when they tried to make a heartfelt video greeting for her baby shower. The woman, Orla, was an expectant mother in Australia and her parents were creating a selfie video of love and encouragement as she got ready to welcome her little one. The problem was, neither of them could keep it together for longer than a few seconds at a time. And the best part is, it wasn't even their first try.

Her father said they'd spent 15 or 20 minutes trying to make the video and this was their final attempt. They weren't used to seeing themselves on video and it proved to be too funny to handle. But the best part is how the mom would say something heartfelt, like, "You're going to be wonderful parents," and then they'd both burst out laughing.

Watch:

People cannot get enough of their chuckles.

"Literally the best 2 min on the internet ever 😂😂😂. I love them so much. I’m so jealous of your baby for having the best grandparents on the planet. ❤️"

"And this is our final attempt that killed me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"It's the sincerely at the end for me. 😂"

"I don’t know how many time i have watched it today 😂😂. Maybe twenty 🤣🤣. Such lovely parents you have 😅😍."

"😂😂😂 love their laughter! You need to save this to show that baby some day!"

"If I had a video of my parents carrying on like this, I would cherish it forever!!"

Videos like this truly feel like laughter therapy, which is a legitimate thing. In fact, laughter therapy has been used by medical professionals in some form or another for centuries. According to the MayoClinic, laughter has the following short-term and long-term therapeutic benefits for both your mental and physical health:

In the short-term, laughter can:

  • Stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain.
  • Activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.
  • Soothe tension. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

Long-term, laughter may:

  • Improve your immune system. Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. By contrast, positive thoughts can actually release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses.
  • Relieve pain. Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers.
  • Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people.
  • Improve your mood. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your stress, depression and anxiety and may make you feel happier. It can also improve your self-esteem.
So there you go. Viral videos that make you laugh aren't just a mindless time waster after all. Here's to loving parents, raucous chuckles, shared joy and that lucky baby of Orla's who has utterly delightful grandparents over in Ireland.

Students are Lisneal College in Northern Ireland.

The world has hit an interesting turning point regarding young people and smartphone use, especially in schools. After 15-plus years of letting young people have smartphones on them all day long, we’re beginning to learn that they pose a serious threat to their mental health, social development, and academics.

The most startling research shows that right around 2012, when young people started using smartphones, the U.S. and other developed nations saw an astronomical spike in mental health problems among young people, including self-harm, suicide, psychological distress, anxiety, and depression. The change in behavior among students inspired Lisneal College in Northern Ireland to become the first school in the country to be phone-free. Lisneal College is a co-educational all-ability school for 11 to 18-year-olds.

"Since the introduction of smartphones, our concerns have gradually increased," Craig Johnson, VP for Pastoral Affairs at Lisneal, told Smartphone Free Childhood Northern Ireland. “For me, I'll never forget a clear turning point, where I walked into our school canteen one day, and we had all these students sitting in round tables with their friends and every one of them on their phone, canteen nearly deathly quiet. It was just this moment of reflection and going ‘We have to do something about this and we have to start somewhere.’"

The school administration contacted the students' parents, who shared the same concerns. However, the parents didn’t know how to address the problem.

In 2023, the school implemented a phone-free program for students from years 8 to 12 (grades 7 to 12 in America). Students place their phones in lock boxes upon arrival and cannot access them during the rest of the school day. At the end of the day, they can pick up their phones before they go home. After trying the program for one term, the parents were happy and even saw changes in their kids' attitudes towards technology at home.

What are the benefits of smartphone-free schools?

The large school has had very few concerns after implementing the policy besides some grumbling from older students. One of the older kids at the school, who gave administrators some of the most pushback, later changed their mind after one month. "I'll never forget one of our pupils who had given some of the most pushback said to me after a month, 'Sir, that's been a really good thing for me,'" Johnson said.

The teachers at the school love the policy as well. "Staff were immediately seeing a difference in their classrooms. They were immediately feeding back, 'This was a really good thing,'" Johnson said.

"Pupils are definitely more present in the classroom. They are more prepared and engaged to learn. They don't feel that they are the odd man out if they don't have a mobile phone. For any other schools looking to implement this policy, I say, 'Go for it.' It was a way forward for us, and I feel that it has been real positive. It has definitely benefitted myself, as a teacher, and it has benefitted pupils,” Emma Harper, a teacher at the school, told Smartphone Free Childhood Northern Ireland.



Principal Michael Allen says smartphones are a massive distraction for students, even in their pockets or purses. “If you can imagine sitting in a classroom with a mobile phone in your pocket, even if that phone is never out, and that mobile phone buzzes, rings, chimes,” he told the BBC. "No matter how focused you are as a student, whether you decide to take that phone out and look which some pupils may do, or even if you don’t, you spend the next two or three minutes thinking, ‘Who was that? I wonder who wants me?’"

Johnson says that since the ban, children are talking more to one another and that there is a positive "buzz" and energy at the school now. Gabriella, a year 11 student at the school, says there is much less bullying now that the phones are gone. "You're building better friendships and you're learning how to not be reliable on a phone to start a conversation. So it's a better way to socialize," she said.

"[Before the ban], people would have just stayed on their phones all day, and I know that happens in other schools as well. But here, since we've got the phones took away, people engage with the classes more and they engage with each other," Luke, a year-11 student, added.

Lisneal College’s bold move to ban smartphones has proven to be a huge win for students, teachers, administrators, and parents. Who doesn't want to go to a school where students focus on their teachers, lessons, and each other rather than on their phones? As other schools consider similar rules, Lisneal’s success shows that phone-free may be the best way forward.