As a young girl, Meenakshi Raghavan stood out in a cool, if not controversial, way: She could keep up with the boys.
Her father noticed she was gifted in the art of kalaripayattu, an ancient martial art that originated in southern India. It was frowned upon for a girl to be involved in such an activity in mid-20th century India, Raghavan understood, but she also didn't want to be left out.
"Doing what is good for you is often a challenging task for women," she told YourStory correspondent Binjal Shah last year. Fortunately, her father was supportive of going against the gender-norms grain at the time, too, and Raghavan was able to continue practicing.
Now in her 70s, Raghavan is still going strong perfecting the art form, and she's empowered countless young women to do the same.
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
Raghavan's devotion to the art form may not be quite as controversial as it was when she was a little girl. But it's still a rarity.
Since 2009, Raghavan has taught kalaripayattu classes to those interested in learning the practice, which focuses on self-defense. Many of them are girls.
More than six decades after the grandma first started honing her craft, she's teaching about 150 students in classes three times a day throughout the summer and early fall. About one-third of her students are girls and women, ages 6 to 26, according to The News Minute.
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
She expects the same from both her male and female students.
"Gender and community are totally irrelevant," said Raghavan, who is possibly the oldest female kalaripayattu practitioner in India.
"What matters is age. The earlier you start, the more proficient you are."
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
Kalaripayattu martial arts — an increasingly popular activity — has deep roots in Indian culture and is viewed as far more than a fighting technique.
First, students learn the ins and outs of mey payattu, or unarmed combat, which reflects kalaripayattu's emphasis on self-defense. But combat techniques using sticks, daggers, and swords are also infused into training, as well as extra attention to reparative physical healing — the consequences of battle.
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
For many of Raghavan's female students, kalaripayattu is far more than a culturally significant activity.
Physical and sexual assault and rape remain at crisis levels in India. 41% of women experience violence or harassment by the age of 19, new research by Action Aid found. Just as troubling, nearly three-fourths of women surveyed in the report say they were harassed or violated within the past month alone.
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
The skills that Raghavan's students learn may one day save their lives.
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
Raghavan is committed to empowering as many women as she can for as long as she can.
"Sword Granny," as Raghavan has lovingly been nicknamed, is as expert as they come. Yet her journey of discovery is far from complete.
“I have been through all these levels," she said of her kalaripayattu training. "But I still consider myself a student in the process of learning. There is no ending in the process of learning kalari."
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
With her community and family behind her, Raghavan promises to take as many children as possible under her wing for as long as she can.
Her work is too important not to.
"I consider myself a strong woman and will move forward, facing whatever challenge comes my way," she said. "My children are all very supportive, and that’s my confidence. Health-wise, by God’s grace, I am good, and praying to God to keep me healthier so that I can train more students."
Photo by Jimmy George/Barcroft Images.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.