+
upworthy
Culture

Raw new ad shows the reality of early breastfeeding in all its messy, exhausting glory

Raw new ad shows the reality of early breastfeeding in all its messy, exhausting glory

Over my own 20+ years of motherhood, I've written a lot about breastfeeding. My mom was a lactation consultant, I breastfed all three of my children through toddlerhood, and I've engaged in many lengthy debates about breastfeeding in public.

But in all that time, I've never seen a video that encapsulates the reality of the early days of breastfeeding like the Frida Mom ad that aired on NBC during the Golden Globes. And I've never seen a more perfect depiction of the full, raw reality of it than the uncensored version that bares too much full breast to be aired on network television.

The 30-second for-TV version is great and can be seen in this clip from ET Canada. The commentary that accompanies it is refreshing as well. We do need to normalize breastfeeding. We do need to see breasts in a context other than a sexualized one that caters to the male gaze. We do need to let new moms know they are not the only ones feeling the way they feel.



First Breastfeeding Ad To Air During Golden Globeswww.youtube.com


But there's something else this ad calls to mind.

There are many people who think breastfeeding in public is inappropriate, especially around children. Undoubtedly, some people had that same reaction to this ad. To me, that's totally backwards.

I want my kids to see babies breastfeeding. I want them to see it so often and in so many places that they internalize the fact that breasts serve an important purpose and aren't primarily a sexual body part. I want them to see breasts being used for feeding a baby so they don't grow up being weirded out by the idea or always seeing breasts as "inappropriate" due to the over-sexualization of breasts in our society.

Hiding away the reality of breastfeeding as if breasts are shameful while plastering advertisements with barely-covered breasts all over the place is a societal choice we've made. I'd honestly much rather show my children the full version of this ad below, bare breasts and all, than an ad for sexy lingerie that makes itself palatable by not showing nipples.

Nipples are how babies eat. We're so accustomed to seeing nipples as sexual and therefore inappropriate to look at that we have created a society in which breastfeeding moms have to bend over backwards to avoid showing even a flash of nipple when feeding a baby. That's ridiculous.

My hope is that people might see this ad and understand why making a fuss over breastfeeding in public is cruel to new moms. This ad shows not just the physical reality of learning to breastfeed (which is often harder than people expect), but also the flood of thoughts that go through your head at the same time. All of that is enough for new moms to deal with. Adding undue concern about not showing anyone any part of your breast when you're away from home and baby's hungry is an unnecessary layer of stress that nobody needs.

The double, fully bare breasts during feeding is something many new moms do at home for various reasons and I'm not suggesting that should be the norm in public. What I am suggesting is that having to make sure no one sees any breast or nipple at all, ever, is silly when this is the reality of breastfeeding for many moms.

(If you really can't handle seeing breasts at all, you'll want to go ahead and skip over this video.)

Frida Mom | Stream of Lactationwww.youtube.com


I have been through every single argument anyone could possibly make about breastfeeding in the presence of others, and the bottom line is always this: If you don't want to see breastfeeding, you don't have to. You have eyeballs that move freely inside your head, and if someone is feeding their baby in your vicinity, the easiest thing to do is for you to move your eyeballs a quarter inch. That's it. No one is ever forced to watch someone breastfeed, ever.

If a breastfeeding mom wants to find a private place or use some kind of covering to make herself more comfortable, great. She should totally do that if it helps her feed her baby more comfortably. But if she feels compelled to hide away or cover up because she feels pressured to do so by a society that can't differentiate between using breasts for sex and using breasts to feed a baby, she shouldn't. We use our mouths for sex, too, and no one has a problem seeing people talk and eat with their mouths all day long, right?

Good for Frida Mom for making such a realistic commercial reflecting the truth about new motherhood and the early weeks of breastfeeding. It does get easier (usually) but it's so important for everyone to understand the reality and see what it really looks like. Having a baby is blissful and beautiful in many ways, but it's also overwhelming and exhausting. Since the challenges of this stage of motherhood are rarely seen from the outside like this, let's remember that support for new moms—not just from loved ones but from society in general—goes a long way.

Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


Health

Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?



Upworthy book

Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.

But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pets

Parrot can't stop kissing her babies and telling them she loves them in adorable video

"I cannot believe parrots are real and we're so nonchalant about it."

Photo by Beyzaa Yurtkuran on Pexels and Photo by Mariano Mollo on Unsplash

Bird can't stop kissing and loving on her babies in adorable video


Birds can be pretty amazing companions, many birds live a lot longer than dogs, giving you a buddy for life depending on when you buy one. Some parrots can live up to 50 years, while the longest living cockatoo lived to be 82-years-old, which is why if you get one of these amazing talking feathered friends, you should make plans to put them in your will. Literally, it's advised that you put these long living birds in your will so there's a plan in place.

But their long lifespan isn't the reason people can't get enough of these birds as pets. Just like children, these birds learn to mimic what you say and how you say it, which allows them to engage in endearing moments. In a video compilation uploaded to social media by @themothergothel, you get to see their adorable behavior play out in front of you. A blue ringneck parrot is captured loving on some brand new baby birds and it's the sweetest thing.

Keep ReadingShow less
@lindseyswagmom/TikTok

This daughter knew exactly what to get her dad for Secret Santa


Many people dream of somehow being able to pay their parents back for the sacrifices made for them during childhood. Whether that’s something physical, like paying off their mortgage, or simply being the best version of ourselves to make them absolutely proud.

For Lindsay Moore, it was finding a “prized possession” her dad once gave up to help the family, and returning it to him once again.

Moore still vividly remembers being only seven years old when she saw her father walk into a comic book store to sell a Dan Marino rookie football card from his first season with the Miami Dolphins.
Keep ReadingShow less

Millennials and Gen Z ditch top sheet to the dismay of Boomers

Once again the youngins are flabbergasting the older generations with their disregard of things they deem unnecessary. There's always something that gets dropped or altered generation to generation. We learn better ways or technology makes certain things obsolete. But it doesn't matter how far we've come, our beds still need sheets to cover the mattress.

The debate is on the use of top sheets, also known as flat sheets. They're the sheets that keep your body from touching the comforter, most Gen X and Boomers are firmly for the use of top sheets as a hygiene practice. The idea being that the top sheet keeps your dead skin cells and body oils from dirtying your comforter, causing you to have to wash it more often.

Apparently Millennials and Gen Zers are uninterested in using a top sheet while sleeping. In fact, they'd rather just get a duvet cover, though they may be cumbersome. A duvet cover can be washed fairly frequently, while some may opt for a cheeper comforter that they don't care is washed often because their distain for a top sheet is that strong.

Keep ReadingShow less
Representative Image From Canva

Imagine if everyone adhered to these guidelines.


We know too much screen time is not good for us. We also know that younger folks are particularly susceptible to screen addiction. What we don’t fully know is how to effectively help teens and tweens manage the habit, especially when screens are such an everyday part of life.

However, psychiatrist, author and dad of seven Richard Wadsworth recently went viral after showing his own personal strategy for getting his kids to do something other than scrolling. It could be the perfect solution for parents to not only break screen addiction, but instill some other healthy ritual as well.

In the clip, we first see Wadsworth’s tween son doing deltoid exercises with dumbbells. Which he apparently got up at 6:30 am to do.

What could possibly incentivize practically anyone, let alone a preteen to wake up at the crack of dawn to lift weights? Read on.

Keep ReadingShow less
via Anna Trupiano / Facebook

First-grade teacher Anna Trupiano

Anna Trupiano is a first-grade teacher at a school that serves deaf, hard-of-hearing, and hearing students from birth through eighth grade.

In addition to teaching the usual subjects, Trupiano is charged with helping her students thrive in a society that doesn't do enough to cater to the needs of the hard-of-hearing.

Keep ReadingShow less