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Australian in the U.S. says she thinks it's rude that Americans don't say 'You're welcome'

Who's being more polite?

tilly hokianga, you're welcome, australian culture shock

An Australian woman thinks it's rude that Americans don't say, "You're welcome."

There’s been a growing trend amongst American Gen Zers and millennials to stop saying, “You're welcome,” after being thanked. Older generations may think the change is part of a more significant trend of younger people having more lax manners, but in actuality, younger people believe that giving a simple “OK” or “Mm-hmm” after being thanked is more polite than saying, “You're welcome.”

Recently, Australian TikTok user Tilly Hokianga vented her frustrations with Americans in a viral post entitled, “Things That Send Me as an Australian Living in the US.” A lot of the points she made were pretty typical for someone visiting the United States, such as there's too much sugar in the bread and too many options for cereal.

However, she also noted that Americans have difficulty saying, “You’re welcome.”


"I don't understand. Talking to an American, you say, 'Thank you,' and they're always just like, 'Mm-hmm,” Hokianga said in the post. "I just said, 'Thank you.' You should say, 'You're welcome,' or 'It's all good,' or 'No worries,' not f**king 'Mm-hmm.'"

The post resonated with many people, racking up 3.8 million views and leading to a series of videos where she talks about other things that “send her” in America.

tilly hokianga, you're welcome, australian culture shock

Tilly Hokianga explains what she doesn't understand about Americans.

via Tilly Hokianga/TikTok

The post caught the attention of Millie (@rosegoldmillie), an American who has spent time in Australia who thinks she isn’t being rude when she doesn’t say, “You’re welcome.” Instead, she believes that on a deeper level, people should always look out for one another, so thank yous aren’t necessary.

Warning: Strong language.

@rosegoldmillie

#stitch with @tilly_hokianga #american #australian #british #manners #differences #travelling #overseas #fypfypfyp

She has a good point. You thank someone for going out of their way. If you believe that humans should always be helpful to one another, why acknowledge the act? Not everything has to be transactional.

"Someone would say, 'Thank you,' and I would say, 'Yep! Oh, uh, I mean, 'You're welcome!'" Millie said in her post. "Because to me, it's kind of rude. Like, it's not rude, but saying, 'Yep' and 'Sure' is the equivalent to saying, 'No problem,' and that is more polite in America than saying, 'You're welcome.'"

"When you say, 'You're welcome,' there's an implication in our brains that says, 'I did you a favor, and I deserve a thank you.' But when we say, 'Mm-hmm,' or like, 'Sure,' it's this implication of 'Of course, I would do that for you,'" she continued. "I don't deserve a thank you, like, it was the least I could do."

The response video received over 2.2 million views, and many people agreed with her.

“I remember switching from ‘you're welcome’ to ‘sure’ to ‘yeah’ for this reason,” Kelli Crockett wrote in the comments. “‘You're welcome’ is usually used sarcastically here. I think that's also part of why it feels rude like you're welcome is what you say when you're [mad emoji],” BeevesofTime added.

“OK, this is the opposite of what I think and was taught, but explains why I hear it,” FlyGal responded.


Identity

Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world

The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.

Images provided by CARE

Kadiatu (left), Zainab (right)

True

Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.

And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.

This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.

“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.

Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.

About the women:

Mabinty

international womens day, care.org

Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.

Kadiatu

international womens day, care.org

Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.

Isatu

international womens day, care.org

When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.

Zainab

international womens day, care.org

Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.

Adama

international womens day, care.org

Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.

Ya Yaebo

international womens day, care.org

“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.

On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.

Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.


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Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

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The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

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The 43-year-old, who has a 2-year-old son with comedian John Mulvaney, shared her experience with photos, video and a written statement shared on Instagram.

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