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An actress was told to bring an 'easy access skirt' to a casting call. Well, dang.

It's not just an "easy access skirt." Just take a look at some of the roles that actresses see on casting calls everyday.

These are all REAL role descriptions. REALLY.

The role that could be filled by a cardboard cutout:

"Seeking Beautiful Girl (Non-Speaking)"

The role that seems more suitable for a coat hanger ... or two:

"Seeking Bikini Babe to stand with another Bikini Babe."

The role that could be played by literally any woman. Seriously, what does this even mean?

"Seeking Girlfriends of male principals."

What specific acting skills does it take to play a girlfriend of a male principal? How is that different from playing a girlfriend of a female principal or just playing a woman who happens to have a boyfriend or a woman in general?

The role that doesn't get that being female, real, and butchy are not mutually exclusive personality traits:

"Seeking Female. Real. Honest. But not too butchy."

So are the casting folks here saying that it's OK to be a real, honest woman as long as you're not masculine? Or are they saying that they don't want lesbians to apply? Either way, that feels offensive, and I'm confused.

The role that combines too many offensive things to count:

"Seeking Drunken Girl 'Slapper' at a party. Actress must have 'easy access skirt' in which to be 'taken from behind.' Consent to have fake vomit thrown on her."

Just FYI, I counted, and there are at least seven majorly offensive things here: 1. This is a casting for a regular feature film, not a porn. 2. This is not even a fleshed-out character. They would have no name and be sexually assaulted as a background prop. 3. While I totally get the need for background characters — not everyone gets a speaking role — this wouldn't be so upsetting if it wasn't one of the only casting options available for women. 4. "Easy access skirt." 5. "Taken from behind." 6. "Fake vomit." 7. "Thrown on her."

Really, Hollywood?

Now, ladies, tell us how you really feel.

And they're not done. These talented women have plenty more to say. Check out more of their thoughts in the video below:

For more videos on this subject, check out this powerful video — featuring interviews with the amazing cast of the web series "Misspelled," talking about their experience as actors of color at casting calls, first published Sept. 10, 2014.

Family

A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying
Health

Myth-destroying therapist explains why it's 'loving' for couples to go to bed angry

Love isn't that simplistic.

via Polina Zimmerman

A couple arguing before bedtime.

Just about everyone who has been married has been told countless times by older, more experienced couples that one of the most essential rules is, “Don’t go to bed angry.” They swear it’s best for a relationship to hash out the disagreement before bed and ensure it’s resolved before anyone gets any shut-eye.

That advice makes a lot of sense. It’s hard to get to sleep after fighting with your significant other. The argument keeps playing over and over again in your head. You may be angry. You may be hurt. That’s a bad position to be in, if you need to get your 40 winks.

However, making a big problem solvable by the time we go to bed is like watching a big family problem get fixed in 23 minutes on a sitcom. It's just not realistic. Some issues deserve more thought and conversation.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, recently made the case that it’s “loving” to go to bed angry in the caption of a myth-busting Instagram post.



Dr. Solomon is also the host of the “Reimagining Love Podcast,” where she challenges some of the questionable messages we’re given about love and relationships.

“I’ve been a couples therapist for over a quarter of a century and I’m here to remind you that it’s OK to go to bed mad,” she wrote in the caption of a viral Instagram post. She adds that it can be “loving” to go to bed angry under the following circumstances:

  • You’re exhausted.
  • You don’t have privacy.
  • You’ve been drinking or using drugs
  • It’s late and you’re talking in circles
  • One of both of you has a big day tomorrow
  • You have little kids who’ll be up at the ass crack of dawn needing pancakes
  • You’re at risk of saying or doing something that you’ll regret because you’re upset and exhausted

couple fight, go to bed angry, conflict resolutionA couple fighting before bed.via Sasint/Pixabay

However, she also shared 5 reasons when it’s not OK to go to bed angry:

  • Not every night, not even lots of nights.⁣
  • Not to prove a point.⁣
  • Not to get the upper hand.
  • Not to punish your partner
  • Not to show your partner what a jerk they are

Dr. Solomon says being tired makes us more likely to make extreme arguments and be more hostile than when we are well-rested. She believes that when couples go to bed angry, they should do so consciously with their partners by calling a “time out” on the argument and acknowledging the difficult situation.

“This is a really hard conversation,” or “I think we both feel pretty hurt and misunderstood,” you could say before tabling the discussion for the following day. You can also perform a loving gesture, such as getting your partner a glass of water or squeezing their foot before bed to let them know you are still safe.



Relationship myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” can become a real problem for couples who fail to live up to what’s seen as the relationship gold standard. When couples violate the relationship commandment and go to bed angry, they blame themselves when really, they’re not doing anything wrong. Conflict is natural. So is being tired.

That’s why Dr. Solomon’s myth-busting, Disney-did-us-wrong approach is so important.

"We grow up on this study stream of fairytales, song lyrics and romantic comedies that give us a view of love that is simplistic and unrealistic," says Dr. Solomon told Parade. "Then, when we bump into problems and challenges in our own lives, we end up feeling like we are the problem, rather than the myths being the problem."

cvouple fight, conflict resolution, relationshipsA couple fighting before bed.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Ultimately, relationships are complex, and myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” and the “happily ever after” story we’re told as children give us a false impression about what love and true partnership are all about. Then, when we fail to meet those expectations, we find fault in ourselves and our partners.

"Going to bed mad is painful enough on its own," Dr. Solomon says. "It feels lonely. It feels yucky. To add another layer of shame—[that] somehow this is wrong, I'm wrong, you're wrong, we're wrong—makes a hard thing harder."

Dr. Solomoan wants us all to realize that relationships are complex. So there’s nothing wrong with giving each other a break and sleeping on it for a night.


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Education & Information

A boy with dwarfism struggled to get his lunch. So a cafeteria worker made him a souped-up cart.

He went from struggling to stylish.

via Beaverton School District

Julian Worsham gets a new cart.

Six-year-old Julian Worsham of Beaverton, Oregon is like a lot of other first-graders: he loves Super Mario and Taekwondo. But he has achondroplasia, the most common form of dwarfism, and goes to a school that wasn't built for kids his height.

"He's born into a world that just, in some ways, is not built for him," Julian's father, Brett, told WHAS11.

His mother did a walk-through before his first day at school to make sure he wouldn't run into any problems because of his height but forgot to check the cafeteria. [We] "noticed that where the food was, was right at his head," Heather told the Beaverton School District. Then, to make things more of a struggle, he had to carry his tray outside to the lunch benches.

The school made him a makeshift cart out of an upside-down milk crate on wheels to help him transport his lunch from the cafeteria to the benches.

"When I saw it I thought, 'Wow,'" said Enedelia Mottram, who's served lunch for the school district for 18 years. "I just wanted to help Julian, because I mean his head barely reaches the lunch line. He can't see anything."

Julian's first cart wasn't cutting the mustard.

via Beaverton School District

That night, she talked to her husband, James, a metalworker, to see if he could come up with something better. He got his team together at Wright Manufacturing in Portland to create a new cart that allowed Julian to transport his lunch tray and see over the counter.

James told the Beaverton School District that he wanted to make something that Julian would be "proud to push around."

James and his team put together a badass cart with adjustable, handlebar grips just like a motorcycle that has a stool inside so he can reach the countertop. It is adorned with flames and a personalized license plate that says, "JULIAN."

Julian's parents were blown away by the care and creativity that was put into creating his cart.

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"They took the time to get those license plates with his name, which is just like, they just really put a lot of heart into it. So when I saw it, the first thing I saw was actually a picture of James and his team who made the cart and I cried. It's just such a sweet thing," Heather said.

Julian loves the license plate and the flames and is now able to grab his lunch and get out to the benches in style.

"He's independent now," said Mottram. "Before, a staff member [would] have to be there to help him," she said.

Heather hopes that the story will inspire others to reach out and help other people in need.

"There's just wonderful people in this world that, you know, they have their eyes open. They're seeing needs that need to be met and they're meeting them. So I hope that other kids can get their needs met through this," she said.


This article originally appeared on 11.3.21

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Woman shares sweet exchange with 92-year-old grandpa who invited her over for 'sleepover'

“We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa.”

Photo by Mark Farías on Unsplash
man in black suit jacket kissing woman in white sleeveless dress

Loneliness is one of the most dangerous health problems in the United States, although it’s seldom discussed. Psychology Today says loneliness has the same mortality risks as obesity, smoking, alcoholism and physical inactivity.

A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her.

The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.

It started when Megan's grandpa texted her to ask if she'd like to come over for a sleepover. “I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa,” he wrote.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind,” he asked. “And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!”

He also wanted some strawberry ice cream for dessert. “Thank you. You are my favorite granddaughter,” he ended the conversation. Megan later noted that she’s his only granddaughter.

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.”

When it was time for bed, grandpa hadn't forgotten how to put her to sleep. He got her a glass of water to put by the bed in case she got thirsty and left a flashlight on the nightstand just in case his 29-year-old granddaughter got scared.

The next morning, at 5:30 am, he watched her leave for work.

Grandfather and granddaughter grew up close to one another.

Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

“I am so lucky to have grown up with my grandpa and my grandma (rest in peace),” she wrote on Instagram. “I feel so happy. I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she added.

Megan's time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

"I think one of the most important realizations I have had recently is that it’s important to live in the moment but it is important to live in the now with intent," she wrote on Instagram, "so that when you are 92, you look back and smile at all the people you loved, the memories you made and the life you chose to live."


This article originally appeared on 04.27.22

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Science

Incredible 'bird feeder' photos give a whole new perspective on our feathered friends

It's amazing the magic we can find in our own yards.

via Carla Rhodes

Two northern cardinals captured on Carla Rhodes' bird-feeder camera.

The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate their surroundings. When you’re stuck at home more often than you’d like, you start to pay a lot more attention to what goes on in your own backyard.

This type of introspection inspired wildlife photographer Carla Rhodes to get a closer look at the furry friends that live near her home in the Catskill mountains of New York.

What she found was magical.

“The winter of 2020-2021 was particularly brutal to humankind. After months of enduring the Covid-19 pandemic, we were now collectively slogging through winter. As a result of being stuck at home, I focused on my immediate surroundings like never before,” Rhodes said in a statement.

Rhodes positioned a DSLR camera trap beneath her bird feeder to get an up-close glimpse of the wildlife that came to sample her delicious seeds.

The results are an incredible series of photos of birds and other woodland creatures from a vantage point most people never see. Rhodes calls her project, "Beneath the Bird Feeder."

The birdfeeder photos also gave a new glimpse into the behavior of several species of birds and rodents that call the Catskills home.

“As I got deeper into the project, intriguing observations emerged,” Rhodes says. “I noticed distinct repeat visitors such as a Dark-Eyed Junco with an overgrown beak, a deer mouse with a notched ear, and an irruption of Red-Breasted Nuthatches. Dark-Eyed Juncos always showed up at the crack of dawn and Northern Cardinals would always be the last visitor of the day as dusk turned into evening.”

Here are 15 of the most captivating photos that Rhodes captured from beneath her bird feeder.

1. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

"Often overlooked and considered drab ground-feeding birds, Dark-Eyed Juncos hold a special place in my heart due to their funny and curious behaviors. Every day they were first to arrive beneath the bird feeder," Rhodes says. "Dark-Eyed Juncos were one of the most frequent and curious subjects beneath the bird feeder."

2. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

3. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

4. Tufted titmouse

via Carla Rhodes

According to All About Birds, the tufted titmouse is "common in eastern deciduous forests and a frequent visitor to feeders."

5. Mourning dove

via Carla Rhodes

​"Observing Mourning Doves was a daily pleasure, especially when they gathered to form a clean-up crew beneath the bird feeder. Mourning doves are monogamous and possibly mate for life," Rhodes writes.

6. Mourning dove 

via Carla Rhodes

7.  Mourning doves

via Carla Rhodes

8. Blue jay

via Carla Rhodes

"Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems with tight family bonds," All About Birds says. "Their fondness for acorns is credited with helping spread oak trees after the last glacial period."

9. Northern cardinal

via Carla Rhodes

"Northern Cardinals were always the last to show up beneath the bird feeder, shortly after dusk every evening," Rhodes writes.

10. Black-capped chickadee

via Carla Rhodes

"Little flocks of Black-capped Chickadees enliven the winter woods with their active behavior and their cheery-sounding chick-a-dee callnotes as they fly from tree to tree, often accompanied by an assortment of nuthatches, creepers, kinglets, and other birds," the Audubon field guide to North American birds says.

11. Black-capped chickadee

via Carla Rhodes

12. Eastern gray squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

Eastern gray squirrels are important members of forest ecosystems as they play a vital role in dispersing seeds.

 13. American red squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

The American red squirrel is known for its distinct bushy and dark red tail with hints of a white outline.

14. American red squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

15. Northern short-tailed shrew

via Carla Rhodes

If you see a northern short-tailed shrew, be careful. It's venomous and paralyzes its victims with poisonous saliva. In humans, a bite can cause swelling and intense pain.


This article originally appeared on 01.03.22

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