"Love can make a sacrament of everything you do.”
As the saying goes, the heart wants what it wants.
On Jan 2, BBC News shared the most unlikely love story—between a nun and a priest whose instant connection inspired them to leave behind celibacy and instead spend the rest of their lives together.
Lisa Tinkler became a nun at the age of 19, moving from her hometown in Middlesbrough, England, to serve a Roman Catholic convent in Lancashire as Sister Mary Elizabeth.
For 24 years, Sister Mary Elizabeth lived the life of a carmelite nun, meaning most of her time was spent in silent devotion and in a small enclosure with a barred window known as a “grille.” There, she was mostly closed off from the outside world, only seeing her family a few times a year and always from behind the grille.
Though the hermit lifestyle deeply fulfilled Sister Mary Elizabeth’s “interior world,” a chance encounter would turn it all upside down in such a way that even the least religious among us might call it divine intervention.
On what seemed like any other ordinary day, Sister Mary Elizabeth’s convent had been paid a visit by friar Robert, hailing from a priory in Oxford. Robert would occasionally stop by to say mass, where she would watch his sermons from behind the grille.
Sister Mary Elizabeth and her superior were tasked with providing lunch to the friar, but when the prioress had to take a phone call, the two were in the parlor room together.
Robert was finished eating and still the prioress hadn’t returned. So Sister Mary Elizabeth opened the door to let him out. When she brushed up against his sleeve, all bets were off.
"I just felt a chemistry there, something, and I was a bit embarrassed. And I thought, gosh, did he feel that too. And as I let him out the door it was quite awkward,” she told the BBC.
Lisa Tinkler, formerly known as Sister Mary Elizabeth.
It seems that the feeling was indeed mutual—for only a week later, she received a message from Robert asking her to marry him.
Though elated, Sister Mary Elizabeth admitted she found the proposal shocking, as the two knew so little about each other. She had at least caught snippets of Robert’s life through his sermons, like growing up in Poland near the German border and his love of mountains.
Robert, on the other hand, knew nothing about her. “I wore a veil so he never even saw my hair color. He knew nothing about me really, nothing about my upbringing. He didn't even know my worldly name," she recalled.
Unsure of what to do, Sister Mary Elizabeth reached out to her superior, who was … perhaps less than supportive, causing her to walk away from the convent for good and choose instead to go meet Robert at a pub that evening.
"The prioress was a little bit snappy with me, so I put my pants and a toothbrush in a bag and I walked out, and I never went back as Sister Mary Elizabeth," the former nun, now Lisa, told the BBC.
Friar Robert.
The decision wasn’t an easy one. Becoming a nun had felt like a divine calling for Lisa, and leaving it all behind created inner turmoil. She even admitted having momentary suicidal thoughts.
Robert, who had been a Carmelite friar for 13 years, was having his own existential dilemma. Theology gave his life meaning after a dark period brought on by a former failed relationship. So when Lisa showed up at the pub that night, he was “paralyzed by fear.” Not for questioning his feelings for her, or for guilt over turning away from friendship, but because he was unsure of how to make such a huge life change.
Still, the couple courageously moved forward and eventually got married. The two left behind their former monastic lives in November 2015 and now share a home in North Yorkshire. Robert works as the vicar of their local church and Lisa became a hospital chaplain. Sharing books—and a few cries together—helped them ease through the transition.
Though Robert and Lisa anticipated their love would in some way change a core part of their identity, it has instead strengthened their faith. As Lisa put it, they discovered that “love can make a sacrament of everything you do.”
Love shows up when we least expect it.
Even if you're not the religious type, it’s hard to deny that love seems to have a mind of its own, moving us to do things that we otherwise would never dream of. While Robert and Lisa’s story is quite unique, great things can happen to all of us when we follow our hearts.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."