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Europeans asked Americans about life in the US and here's what they said

Americans explain tipping, political media, public transit and more.

america vs europe, reddit, , lifestyle

A side-by-side photo of the European flag and the American flag.

Over on Reddit, Europeans asked Americans different questions about American life, covering every topic from tipping culture to favorite landmarks to football fascination (not to be confused with soccer, of course).

It’s clear from the candid conversation that there are both many wonderful, awe-inspiring things Americans take for granted, and things that, well…aren’t exactly superior, despite USA pride.

Still, it’s interesting to see what mundane aspects of living in the US, both good and bad, might be a source of fascination to someone living outside the country. It can, after all, be easy to forget that the world contains a vast number of lifestyles, and one of the biggest benefits of existing in the modern age is being able to explore those different ways of life. Hopefully physically, but sometimes a good old fashioned internet thread does a pretty good job at giving us insight.

Check out what Europeans wanted to know about America below:


1. "Americans, do you think that political extremism is rising as drastically as it's portrayed in media?” -Jo-Gama

“Unfortunately, yes. The media likely makes it out to be worse than it is, but by doing so, they continue to push people in that direction.” -Fat_Feline

“I think the media makes it sound worse than it is. We’re mostly aware it’s a problem, but we have so many other things to worry about. Rising prices of food, housing and gas affect us way more on a daily basis than racial/political issues. That being said, I also think that the fact we have protests and people speaking out means there’s a large part of this country that is actively working towards change. It’ll just take a while because many current politicians have been alive since polio was a legitimate concern to Americans.” -carminie
america vs europe, reddit, politics, media, fake news

"The media certainly amplifies extreme voices, but the day-to-day reality is that those voices are all around us.”

Photo credit: Canva

“I've seen it in person…Discourse is growing further and further from center and no one wants to talk about it anymore. My parents would often hold parties where their friends would talk politics and sure, maybe get a little heated - now politics is a no-go zone because no one can get along. Conversations evolve into arguments and fights and it's just not worth it. And it's leading a lot of people with differing views to refuse to mingle together, which makes things worse. The media certainly amplifies extreme voices, but the day-to-day reality is that those voices are all around us.” uarterRobot

2. "Do you acknowledge your heritage from European countries?” Mitchelljvb

“Yes, Americans love learning about their ancestry, we have DNA test and tv shows where people will learn about their families past. Most people with European ancestry are able to track their family to the original country they came from.” Nimzay98

3." How can y’all call football (soccer) a boring sport but like American football, which has like a billion interruptions, and baseball, which has close to zero action?” -TheCatInTheHatThings

“I think people dislike football (soccer) because of the lack of scoring, a team can make 10 attempts at goal and end up not scoring but the other team can make 1 attempt and make it in. And that one goal may be the only goal for the whole game. American football, on the other hand, with its yard system, means that any progress by either team ultimately counts towards the end result. There is also more scoring.As an American, I do not understand why anybody watches baseball. That still eludes me.” -rand0m-nerd

“Which city in the US has the best public transit system in your opinion?” RoboGen123

“New York City, hands down.” -kmobnyc

“Chicago over NYC imo.” -Uhhsoka
america vs europe, reddit, subway near me, public transit near me

A photo of people riding the subway.

Photo credit: Canva

4. "Do you ever get tired of how big your country is? Like getting from state to state could take much time as getting to France from England.” -pasta_and_lobster

“Not at all. It’s actually one of the things I love most about the states. If you’re into outdoorsy activities, you’ll never run out of new places to explore.It’s also nice to be able to travel so far without the need for a passport.” -anonandlit333

“Yep. Only problem is gas money lol.” -SouthernMuadib

5." Do you believe the US educational system needs a reform?" -lotlotov

"Which US education system? It has like 3000 different education systems.” -Due_Satisfaction2167

“It’s a very real and scary problem that our government is choosing to ignore.” -wildflowersandroses

“Yes. It’s inequitable. Our taxes fund education, so rich towns have great school systems while those with lesser means get a lesser educational experience." -Username_goes_here_0
america vs europe, reddit, education

"Our taxes fund education, so rich towns have great school systems while those with lesser means get a lesser educational experience."

Photo credit: Canva

6. "How tf does the imperial system work?” -Small_Cock_Jonny

“It's mostly based around units that are intuitive and useful for daily tasks rather than scientifically rigorous. An inch is about the…the length of your top thumb joint…A foot is 12 inches because 12 is easily divisible by a lot of things, you can break it into quarters, halves, thirds, sixths or twelfths…The temperature scale goes from 0 degrees, which is about as cold as it naturally gets most places and also corresponds to the coldest temperature that saltwater can be before freezing, up to 100 degrees which is about as hot as it gets most places and also is close to the temperature of the human body. Overall there is a lot more emphasis on being able to cleanly divide things into halves and quarters, which doesn't exist in metric. A pound is 16 ounces so it can be divided in half four times. A gallon is 16 cups, for the same reason. A cup is 8 ounces. All powers of two.” -Cryptizard

7. "Your favourite place in the us? (city, landscape, landmark, whatever)" -Ovreko

“This is kind of a cop out but National and State parks, Teddy Roosevelt did us good by protecting our natural resources for recreation.” -RosePrecision

“I'm probably biased but southern California is a great place to visit. There's a lot of climate diversity thanks to the mountains and deserts. There's also the beaches, although I do think Hawaii has better beaches. New Mexico and Arizona are good to visit if you like indigenous culture.” -FantasyBeach

North Carolina…. Such a slept on state, I miss that place. Mountains, beaches, food, major colleges, and nice cities all within 3hrs.”-Piff370z
america vs europe, reddit, american landmarks

"Teddy Roosevelt did us good by protecting our natural resources for recreation.”

Photo credit: Canva

8. "What’s with you guys and tipping, don’t get me wrong it’s great to tip but the way you guys make it seem bothers me.” -Armysars

“Companies don’t pay their workers. It’s not entitlement but survival, especially if you’re on a tipped wage. You make around $2 per hour if you are under this wage. Keep in mind that you would need at least double minimum wage to afford an apartment.” -Alarmed_Inflation_68

“It annoys us too. It gets worse year over year as well. I would rather we pay people a liveable wage from the outset than have them survive on tips. Tipping culture won't go anywhere though, it gives business owners an excuse to pay their employees as little as possible.” -Fat_Feline

9. "What do you learn in ‘science class’? Don’t you have separate classes of like physics, chemistry, biology etc.?” -Gilbert_Grauschwanz

“Usually the early years are clumped together as 'science class.' When you get to middle/high school, the classes are separated. I remember taking earth science/geology, biology, physics, and chemistry.” -Arumidden

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”-Alexandria-Rhodes
america vs europe, reddit

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

Photo credit: Canva


10. "Since WW2 the US has been at the forefront of innovation and has been responsible for many of humanity's great accomplishments during this period…Does this give you a sense of pride or is it not that important from your perspectives?” Torridesttube69

“Honestly my national pride depends solely on who's criticizing my country. A fellow American criticizing our economy? "yeah dude this country's a shithole" A Brit*sh tourist criticizing our economy? "🇺🇸America🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅greatest🦅🦅 nation 🔫💪💪💪 on earth 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸" -overcork

Jonah Berger explains how appealing to someone's identity makes them more likely to agree to a request.

Human psychology really isn't that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.


One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

A teen was elated getting his first paycheck from McDonald's.

There are certain moments and milestones in life that hit harder than others. There are the biggies, of course—graduations, weddings, births, etc.—but there are also the smaller-but-still-significant ones that mark when you officially cross a threshold into a whole new stage of life. Our teens are filled with many such moments as we take our first steps into adulthood and independence.

A mom captured one of those moments on video as her teen son opened his first paycheck from his job at McDonald's.


The video shared on Reddit shows a teen in a McDonald's hat sitting in the passenger seat of a car opening an envelope that contained his paycheck. His mom said it should be "200-and something" dollars, and after a hilariously long struggle to open the envelope (Gen Z have rarely, if ever, snail mailed, so no judgment), he looks over the check stub to get the full picture.

"That's $283," he says in astonishment. To his credit, he asks "After tax, what's that?" not realizing that the amount of the check is the after-tax take home amount. His smile and laughter says it all.

Watch:

"Let's take it to the bank, then!" Heck yeah, kid.

People are fondly remembering their own first paychecks

Many viral videos of first paycheck reveals include complaints about how much is taken out in taxes, so it's refreshing to see this young man's joy at his after-tax pay. It was a beautiful moment to capture on film, as most of us remember that feeling of empowerment that came with our own first real paychecks.

People in the comments are feeling the nostalgia:

"I remember that feeling - pretty sweet to see money you earned yourself. Feels good earning your own cash."

"God that first paycheck felt so unreal. I will never forget you ace hardware."

"I remember my first paycheck was for like $300 after two weeks of being a counselor and I felt RICH. I immediately spent it all on a guitar that I still have 20 years later."

"I remember mine - from my first proper job. £64.29 in a little brown packet with holes in it to see the cash inside. 1980. 😂"

"My first “paycheck” was like $65, I was so proud. I took my mom to pizzeria to treat her and she was very very touched."

"Man… I remember my first paycheck… 23 years ago now. For two weeks of what limited hours I could work being 14 years old… that baby was $96.19! HO-LY smokes was I on cloud 9. Cashed it right there at work and bought myself a bag of Skittles. It was a good day."

first paycheck, milestone, adulthood, working, accomplishment That first paycheck feeling. Image via Canva.

Ah, to be young and unencumbered by adult expenses

Part of what makes this endearing is the innocence of it. As a teen, he's not worried about affording a mortgage or groceries or diapers or retirement savings. His elation over making $283 is adorable because he's just starting down the path of adulthood. Soon enough, that paycheck will seem small, but he's not there yet.

Such is the "first paycheck joy," that TikTok is rife with adorable videos of young people opening their first paychecks after working their first real jobs.

@fuck3n_andre

Taco Bell on me 😭 I was fully expecting like $200😂 #fypage #firstjob #job #first #firstpaycheck #fyp #foryoupage #viral

When you're a kid, money is kind of an abstract concept. Maybe you get a small allowance or get paid a few bucks for odd jobs, and opening a birthday card with some cash in it is exciting. It's not until you're fully into the working world for a while that the regular flow of money and what it means for your life really sinks in.

It's not until you're a fully independent adult that you really grasp how relative your feelings about your paycheck can be. There's a big difference between being a 16-year-old getting your first paycheck and being a 30-year-old trying to raise a family on wages that don't cover all your needs. Things like cost-of-living and inflation start to actually mean something as you get older and experience their impact. You might find that you can make a lot more money and yet feel poorer than ever as expenses pile up into adulthood.

paycheck, working, making money, growing up, money It's all relative.i.giphy.com

Don't we all wish we could go back to the hopeful, happy days of making our first real chunk of money before all of those grown-up concerns arose? That simple sense of pride in having worked hard and earned something. The excitement of being able to pay for something you want yourself. The sense of freedom that comes with those early earnings. We see and feel all of that in this teen's bright smile, and it's glorious.

He may not realize how different he might feel opening his paychecks down the road, but there's no need to tell him yet. He'll find out soon enough, as we all have, so let's just let him enjoy this moment of bliss. He's earned it.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Education

Why Gen Z’s 'career minimalism' is the future of work

Every generation could learn from the workforce's youngest.

Gen Z employees.

Forget the corner office. Gen Z is rewriting the rules of professional success—and their approach might save us all from burnout.

While previous generations dutifully climbed the corporate ladder rung by rung, Gen Z is choosing to do things differently. These youngsters, born between 1997 and 2012, embrace a clear philosophy: work should fund your life, not consume it. It's a simple dogma. This emerging trend, dubbed "career minimalism," goes beyond the corporate buzzword, representing a fundamental shift that challenges what we thought we knew about ambition, success, and the definition of "making it" in today's economy.



The great corporate ladder exodus

The statistics are striking: 68% of Gen Z workers claim that they would not pursue management roles unless they came with higher pay or a better title. This isn't laziness—it's a well-thought-out strategy. Generation Z watched Millennials sacrifice their twenties to corporate culture, only to face economic uncertainty, housing crises, and unprecedented stress levels.

Gen Z is boldly saying "No thanks" to that traditional blueprint.

Janel Abrahami, Glassdoor’s Career Pivot Strategist, puts it perfectly. "Gen Z is more willing to embrace a flex mindset than older generations," Abrahami tells Upworthy. "While past generations often prioritized climbing the corporate ladder, Gen Z is looking for the career equivalent of a lily pad: a sustainable route where they can jump to whatever opportunity best fits their needs at the moment. That could mean taking a pay cut for more free time, accepting a lower title for a more creative role, or switching to an industry they see as more stable—since 70% of Gen Z questions their job security as AI advances in the workplace, many are proactively moving toward sectors like skilled trades, healthcare, and education."


young, gen z, working, professionals, career Person with pink hair typing on laptop. Photo credit: Canva

This lily pad mentality represents a profound shift in how an entire generation views professional growth. Instead of linear progression within a single company, Gen Z sees their careers as a series of strategic moves that prioritize personal fulfillment, financial stability, and—crucially—time for the things that actually matter to them.

Generation side hustle

Despite the moniker "career minimalism," 57% of Gen Z employees have at least one side hustle—more than any generation before them. Is it about the money? Not exactly. For Gen Z, side hustles are where their ambition thrives.

Nearly half (49%) of Gen Z side hustlers say their primary motivation is to be their own boss, while 42% are driven by the desire to pursue their passions. These numbers tell a story about a generation that refuses to wait for opportunities. When their 9-to-5 doesn't provide creative fulfillment or meaningful impact, they create it themselves.

A teacher in Iowa sums it up, saying, "I always joke that I don't dream of labor… If people were truly passionate about their job, it wouldn't pay anything. Passion is for your 5-9 after the 9-5."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Similarly, a research analyst echoes this sentiment, saying, "While having a job that you're passionate about is really cool, it's important to have other interests that are not tied to your work life."

The broader statistics are even more telling: 66% of Gen Z and Millennials have started or plan to start side hustles, with 65% intending to continue their entrepreneurial ventures through 2025. Meaning, this isn't a phase—it's a fundamental reimagining of how work fits into a fulfilling life. The pattern is clear: younger generations are diversifying their income streams and refusing to put all their professional eggs in one corporate basket.

Work-life balance as a non-negotiable priority

While older generations might view work-life balance as a nice idea, Gen Z regards it as essential infrastructure for a sustainable life. Thirty-two percent of Gen Z rank work-life balance as the most critical aspect of a job, compared to 28% of Millennials and 25% of Gen X. More significantly, they're willing to prioritize this balance over higher compensation—a move that would have been unthinkable to previous generations entering the workforce.

"Employers may be surprised by the changing attitudes of Gen Z in the workplace," says Abrahami. "However, this doesn't mean that Gen Z is abandoning work; instead, they are redefining ambition through career minimalism. If Gen Z feels unsupported in achieving the work-life balance they seek, they may become less motivated or start looking for opportunities that align better with their values and lifestyles."

young, gen z, working, professionals, career Young working professionals. Photo credit: Canva

Gen Z is working smarter, not harder: Seventy-three percent of Gen Z employees want permanent flexible work alternatives, and they're not just asking—they're demanding. Companies that fail to adapt are losing talent rapidly. Research shows that 72% of Gen Z workers have considered leaving a job because of inflexible policies. Meanwhile, organizations offering flexible work arrangements see 78% higher retention rates among Gen Z employees. When companies listen to their employees' preferences, everyone wins.

Empathy is the key to Gen Z's management style

As Gen Z enters management roles—they make up over 10% of managers in 2025—this generation is bringing a different leadership philosophy to the table. Gone are the days of barking orders, wielding fear, and pitting direct reports against each other: Gen Z leaders prioritize emotional intelligence, collaboration, and authentic connection with their teams.

Gen Z managers focus on:

Seventy-seven percent of Gen Z consider organizational values when choosing an employer, and as they move into leadership roles, they ensure those values are lived, not just posted on company websites.

The companies (already) getting it right

Innovative organizations understand the importance of the Gen Z workforce, with many getting a head start on adapting to their preferences. The results speak for themselves. Goldman Sachs moved to a flexible dress code in 2019, General Motors eliminated its 10-page dress code in favor of a simple "dress appropriately" policy, and companies like Google offer flexible time off and comprehensive mental health support. Other companies, such as Microsoft, have introduced therapy stipends and on-demand counseling sessions to cater to Gen Z's work values.

Canva provides a standout example: through initiatives like "Force for Good," the company encourages employees to contribute over 10,000 hours annually to community projects. This commitment to purpose-driven work has helped Canva achieve a 92% employee satisfaction rate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

These changes aren't just nice-to-haves—they're competitive advantages. Companies that embrace Gen Z-friendly policies are seeing measurable improvements in engagement, retention, and overall performance.

What every generation can learn from career minimalism

Gen Z's approach to work is not radical; it's rational. After watching previous generations sacrifice their health, relationships, and personal fulfillment for corporate success that often proved fleeting, Gen Z chose a different path.

These lessons are valuable for everyone, regardless of age:

Boundaries create sustainability. Gen Z's insistence on work-life balance is a nugget of wisdom. By setting clear boundaries, they dodge the burnout that has plagued older generations and create space for long-term productivity and creativity.

Diversification reduces risk. While previous generations sought security in a single employer, Gen Z believes that proper security comes from multiple income streams and transferable skills. Their side hustles are money-generating insurance policies against rapidly changing industries and A.I.

Values-driven work increases engagement. When work aligns with personal values, engagement and performance naturally increase. Gen Z's demand for meaningful work benefits everyone by forcing companies to clarify their purpose and impact.

Flexibility enhances productivity. The data is precise: flexible work arrangements lead to higher retention, better performance, and increased job satisfaction across all generations.

For Abrahami, the way Gen Z operates in the workplace feels like a breath of fresh air, and she encourages managers to get to know their Gen Z direct reports. "Gen Z’s habits will continue to shape our workforce, so it's important employers take the time to truly understand them," Abrahami notes. "Their approach isn’t about laziness; rather, it’s a new representation of how they define success. They want sustainable careers that align with their goals, whether that means prioritizing a job that prevents burnout or one that provides security from layoffs. Older generations have much to learn from Gen Z, and we’re likely to start to see these values become more widely accepted."

young, gen z, working, professionals, career Gen Z coworkers.Photo credit: Canva

The future of work belongs to Gen Z

Gen Z's philosophy in the workplace offers a compelling answer to the age-old question: "What if there's a better way?" Their formula is refreshingly simple: stable jobs for security, side hustles for passion, and strict boundaries for sustainability.

As workplace dynamics continue to evolve, the rise of career minimalism—fueled by Gen Z's values—will reshape not only how we define professional success but also how we experience fulfillment. The future of work may belong not to the climbers, but to those content to hop from lily pad to lily pad with purpose and self-awareness.

The corner office can keep its view. Gen Z has found something better: a career that actually fits their life, instead of consuming it. And honestly? The rest of us should take notes.

Man asks married men their biggest marriage regret, they deliver.

Not everyone wants to get married, but for those that do, marriage is considered one big 'final' step in a relationship. It's something that people think about from the time they can grasp the concept of relationships. When you factor that in with the high divorce rate, it makes sense that people want to ensure they're getting it right before taking the leap.

Typically, people ask their close inner circle for relationship advice. Leaning on people like their parents, siblings or friends who have been married to fill in the gaps of knowledge. However, with the world becoming smaller than ever due to social media, it takes little effort to gather collective knowledge from thousands of people within your target audience.


Surprisingly, people are pretty forthcoming to strangers on the internet looking for support and help. One man who goes by the name King Boiza decided to ask his internet advisors, "Married men, what is your greatest regret about marriage? Advise the single boys. It could be about anything." The married men didn't hesitate to answer the call in the most genuinely wholesome way.

divorce, marriage, biggest marriage regret, reasons for divorce, married couple, married man, marriage A happily married couple.via Canva/Photos

Gleaning collective wisdom from those more experienced than you is a common practice, but being able to do it in such a significant way is relatively new. Different life experiences lead to different perspectives that can be invaluable to someone still learning.

The advice provided ranged from warnings to what could be seen as universal truths about marriage.

"Your wife becomes the words you speak upon her, I regret not speaking life and good upon her," one man shares.

"In times of trouble, remember...It's not you against her but the both of you, against the problem...," someone writes.

"Listen when she speaks from the heart, once she feels unheard, she will be closed off for a long time if not forever," another advises.

"Not all women age gracefully with all their good looks and physique. Marry her for more reasons beyond her body and beauty. Seek a FOREVER," one commenter says.

"The grass is NEVER greener on the other side. NEVER," a man wrote.

"Don’t let the family you come from destroy the family you create," a commenter added.

"Be the partner you're looking for!" a man wrote.

"The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together," a married man wrote.

"Remember that you are not married to your idea of your wife but to who your wife is. Love her for who is she is not who you want her to be," one man commented.

"No regrets, just advice I’ve adhered to for 15+years of marriage. Lead by example. Create the emotional space for her that you want mirrored. Set boundaries and always keep your word above all else!" a commenter wrote.

"Sometimes all you have to do is listen to her," a man wrote.

divorce, marriage, biggest marriage regret, reasons for divorce, wedding, pastor, reverend, marriage vows A couple getting married.via Canva/Photos

Forbes reports that 43% of first marriages end in divorce with the number significantly increasing with each subsequent marriage. Finding out the regrets, struggles and triumphs of other marriages may help others feel more prepared to commit to marriage with a bit of a roadmap laid in front of them.

It's clear from the comments under the post that marriage takes work and while some of the men admittedly misstepped, they seem eager to share with others so they avoid the same mistakes.

"My biggest regret in marriage was to cheat, and I'm telling you...my wife was never the same...so my advice is never cheat, never ever," one guy confesses.


divorce, marriage, biggest marriage regret, reasons for divorce, marriage advice, single men, marriage questions Kingboiza asks men about marriage.www.tiktok.com


"We tend to take our spouse for granted once we get married. Continue to invest your time in her. You won't regret it and she'll know that you really see her," one man shares.

But it wasn't only men who dropped by the comment section. Women stopped to share their appreciation for the wisdom being left for all to see.

"After reading this comment section, my faith in the institution of marriage is restored. Relationships are not perfect, but we gotta try with people who want to try," one woman writes.

"I don't know why I'm crying...I guess I never knew men like these existed...Your wives must be blessed," another woman shares.

If you need a dose of healthy masculinity and wholesome advice for lasting partnerships, look no further than that comment section. They're saving some future couple from heartache by simply showing up to answer a stranger's question on the internet.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Art

A 92-yr-old former ballet dancer with dementia wrote this achingly beautiful poem about aging

Poetry can help people with dementia find their voice, and the results are incredible.

"I am still a dancer made of song."

Poetry is an oft-misunderstood, but incredibly powerful art form. Humans have been writing poetry for thousands of years, communicating feelings and ideas in beautiful, powerful ways that prose just can't quite reach. Poetry can be hard to define, but you know it when you see it—or rather, when you feel it.

Emily Dickinson once wrote, “If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.” A poem hits you somewhere—your brain, your heart, your gut. And one poem that packs an incredibly moving punch has come from an unlikely source—an elderly woman with dementia.


elderly woman, dementia, caregiver, poetry, former dancer A woman with dementia wrote a poem with one of her children and it's bringing people to tears. Photo credit: Canva

Poet Joseph Fasano shared a message from a fan who shared that they had brought his book, "The Magic Words: Simple Poetry Prompts That Unlock the Creativity in Everyone," to their mother, a 92-year-old former ballet dancer living with dementia. The mother was excited to write a poem, and they slowly worked through a prompt from the book together aloud.

This poem was the result:

"Let the days be warm

Let the fall be long.

Let every child inside me find her shoes

and dance wildly, softly, toward the world.

I have a story I have never told

Once, when I was small,

I looked up at the sky and saw the wind

and knew I was a dancer made of song.

I am still a dancer made of song."

Wow. What a testament to the power of poetry to reach beyond our usual modes of communication, which dementia so cruelly disrupts. In a few simple lines, we're able to see this woman as she might see herself, as the human living under the veils of age and disease: "I am still a dancer made of song."

Poetry prompts can help people express themselves

The person who shared the poem thanked Fasano for "helping people find their voices," which is exactly what his book of poetry prompts was meant to do.

The Magic Words book by Joseph Fasano, poetry prompts "The Magic Words" is a book of poetry prompts from Joseph Fasano. Amazon


In the book's introduction, Fasano shares that he'd been invited to speak to a class of second graders in New Jersey in 2022 to share "the craft and magic of poetry." As part of his efforts, he came up with a poetry prompt that could "help guide their imaginations" and "unlock the images, thoughts and feelings inside them, without asking them to worry about how to structure a poem." He called the results "astonishing." When he shared one of the students' poems on social media, it and the prompt took off like wildfire, as people who never thought of themselves as poets felt empowered to share their imaginations within that framework.

From 7-year-olds to 92-year-olds, anyone can benefit from the self-expression that poetry facilitates, but many people feel hesitant or intimidated by the idea of writing a poem. Fasano writes, "Poetry is what happens when we let ourselves be," and this idea seems so clear than in the former dancer's poem above. Dementia can create roadblocks, but poetry provides a different avenue of communication.

Caregivers try many different ways to communicate with people living with dementia. Photo credit: Canva

The arts can be a powerful tool for people with dementia

Using poetry to help dementia patients communicate and express themselves isn't just wishful thinking. Studies have demonstrated that cultural arts interventions, including poetry specifically, can be beneficial for people with dementia. In fact, the Alzheimer's Poetry Project (APP) aims to use poetry as a means of improving the quality of life of people living with dementia by facilitating creative expression. "We do not set boundaries in our beliefs in what possible for people with memory impairment to create," the APP website states. "By saying to people with dementia, we value you and your creativity; we are saying we value all members of our community."

Fasano has shared that a team of doctors has begun using his poetry prompts to "give people with dementia a voice again."

Poet Gary Glazner, who founded APP, shared a story with WXPR radio about how he came up with the idea while studying poetry at Sonoma State University:

“I applied for a grant and got a grant to work at an adult care program. The moment I love to share with people is there was a guy in the group, head down, not participating and I said the Longfellow poem. ‘I shot an arrow into the air’ and his eyes popped open and he said, ‘It fell to earth I know not where.’ And suddenly he was with us and participating. It was just this powerful moment to see how poetry could be of use to elders but specifically with people with dementia."

Whether we read it, write it, speak it or hear it, poetry has the power to reach people of all ages in all kinds of mysterious ways.

You can follow Joseph Fasano on Twitter and Instagram, and find his books on Amazon.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.