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Did you know that grief is not just a human emotion? Behaviors of grief have also been observed in other species.

You've probably heard stories like the dog lying beside his owner's casket, but beyond the anecdotes is enough scientific observation to suggest that many animals experience what we could call grief symptoms.

Here are three things we can learn about grieving from the animal kingdom:


1. Getting over a traumatic loss doesn't happen overnight. Animals have been observed staying near the bodies of companions for days.

While you're going through the stages of grief, it's important to remember that your mission isn't to feel better right away or even as soon as you can.

When cameraman Mark Deeble was following an elephant family in Kenya for the documentary series "Africa," he observed a mother mourning the loss of her calf. She stayed next to the body for over an hour.

Photo by Olaf Kraak/AFP/Getty Images.

"In a more benign environment, an elephant might mourn for longer," James Honeyborne, a wildlife filmmaker, wrote in The Daily Mail. "I have heard of animals staying beside the bodies of dead friends for three days and nights, refusing to move."

Geese, which are notably loyal animals, often mourn in seclusion for a long time when their mate dies. Some will even refuse to take another mate ever again.

Grief is a long and slow process. You shouldn't put pressure on yourself to get better in a day, or a week, or even a year. There are no time limits to your feelings. As psychotherapist Martha Clark Scala writes:

"You may start to feel better in three months, but don't be surprised if you're still miserable, at least some of the time, several months to several years after your loss. The average length of time it takes most people to consistently feel better is about a year. However, it's also common to feel better for a while and then take a turn for the worse. That can be triggered by events such as special holidays or occasions that have a particular association with the person you've lost, especially the anniversary of his or her death."

Whether it's anger, guilt, or unbearable sadness, your emotions are what they are. Don't hide from them or try to push them down. Give yourself the time and space you need to really embrace your feelings. It will help you heal.

2. Having the comfort of close friends nearby can help you process your feelings. Multiple primate species have been observed mourning as a group.

In 2008, a volunteer at a chimpanzee rescue shelter named Monica Szcupider took a now-iconic photograph of chimps lining up at the fence of their enclosure to watch as the body of Dorothy, one of their fellow chimps, was wheeled away.

"Her presence, and loss, was palpable, and resonated throughout the group," Szcupider said.

Photo by Rob Elliot/AFP/Getty Images.

When you lose someone close to you, it's important to remember that you're not alone, even if you feel that way. Leaning on friends and family can be a key part of the healing process.

Recently, a snub-nosed monkey fell to her death in front of her partner at an observatory in China. The rest of her group ran over to her, holding her hand and giving her comfort for nearly an hour as she lay dying. The lead male of her group stayed by her side longer than anyone and kept glancing back at her even once he rejoined his group at a nearby river.

A snub-nosed monkey in Korea. Photo by Jung Yeon-Je/AFP/Getty Images.

Deaths rarely affect just one person. Being with other people who are feeling the same loss can bring you all closer together as you help each other come to terms with the trauma.

3. Death can be hard to accept. Some animals have been observed participating in behaviors suggesting they're in denial.

"The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished loved one is to deny the reality of the situation," writes Julie Axelrod at Psych Central. "It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock."

A gorilla in Germany was documented holding the body of her deceased baby for a week, trying in vain to restore life to him. Dolphins have also been known to carry dead loved ones on their backs for long periods of time, trying to buoy them and get them to swim again.

A different gorilla with her (alive) baby at an Illinois zoo. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

These stories are tragic, but denial is often a normal part of the grieving process for both animals and humans.

Denial is not the same as refusal to accept reality, though there are certain warning signs you can pay attention to if your natural denial phase is becoming unhealthy.

But getting from denial to acceptance that a loved one has passed is hard, and the road to recovery takes many forms and has many stages. Denial doesn't mean you're crazy or unable to cope — it's just one way the brain can react.

The biggest takeaway? Regardless of species, grief is a totally natural part of life.

Losing someone you love is incredibly painful, and the grieving process means you might be hurting for a long time. But it's something we go through, humans and animals alike.

Photo by Patrick Hamilton/AFP/Getty Images.

You may think you're wrong for feeling as bad as you do, or for crying as much as you want to cry. You're not. The confusing, terrifying, maddening, and isolating process known as mourning is both natural and kind of amazing.

It's amazing because it means you were lucky enough in your life to love someone so much that their loss can hurt this bad. Cherish the happy memories you have. Those aren't going anywhere.

Death and heartbreak are a part of life for both humans and animals. But so are happiness and fulfillment.

And so is healing.

Photo by Hector Retamal/AFP/Getty Images.

Photo courtesy of Girls at Work

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Girls are bombarded with messages from a very young age telling them that they can’t, that is too big, this is too heavy, those are too much.

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Pop Culture

14 things that will remain fun no matter how old you get

Your inner child will thank you for doing at least one of these.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Swings can turn 80-year-olds into 8-year-olds in less that two seconds.

When we’re kids, fun comes so easily. You have coloring books and team sports and daily recess … so many opportunities to laugh, play and explore. As we get older, these activities get replaced by routine and responsibility (and yes, at times, survival). Adulthood, yuck.

Many of us want to have more fun, but making time for it still doesn’t come as easily as it did when we were kids—whether that’s because of guilt, a long list of other priorities or because we don’t feel it’s an age-appropriate thing to long for.

Luckily, we’ve come to realize that fun isn’t just a luxury of childhood, but really a vital aspect of living well—like reducing stress, balancing hormone levels and even improving relationships.

More and more people of all ages are letting their inner kids out to play, and the feelings are delightfully infectious.

You might be wanting to instill a little more childlike wonder into your own life, and not sure where to start. Never fear, the internet is here. Reddit user SetsunaSaigami asked people, “What always remains fun no matter how old you get?” People’s (surprisingly profound) answers were great reminders that no matter how complex our lives become, simple joy will always be important.

Here are 14 timeless pleasures to make you feel like a kid again:

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All images provided by Adewole Adamson

It begins with more inclusive conversations at a patient level

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Adewole Adamson, MD, of the University of Texas, Austin, aims to create more equity in health care by gathering data from more diverse populations by using artificial intelligence (AI), a type of machine learning. Dr. Adamson’s work is funded by the American Cancer Society (ACS), an organization committed to advancing health equity through research priorities, programs and services for groups who have been marginalized.

Melanoma became a particular focus for Dr. Adamson after meeting Avery Smith, who lost his wife—a Black woman—to the deadly disease.

melanoma,  melanoma for dark skin Avery Smith (left) and Adamson (sidenote)

This personal encounter, coupled with multiple conversations with Black dermatology patients, drove Dr. Adamson to a concerning discovery: as advanced as AI is at detecting possible skin cancers, it is heavily biased.

To understand this bias, it helps to first know how AI works in the early detection of skin cancer, which Dr. Adamson explains in his paper for the New England Journal of Medicine (paywall). The process uses computers that rely on sets of accumulated data to learn what healthy or unhealthy skin looks like and then create an algorithm to predict diagnoses based on those data sets.

This process, known as supervised learning, could lead to huge benefits in preventive care.

After all, early detection is key to better outcomes. The problem is that the data sets don’t include enough information about darker skin tones. As Adamson put it, “everything is viewed through a ‘white lens.’”

“If you don’t teach the algorithm with a diverse set of images, then that algorithm won’t work out in the public that is diverse,” writes Adamson in a study he co-wrote with Smith (according to a story in The Atlantic). “So there’s risk, then, for people with skin of color to fall through the cracks.”

Tragically, Smith’s wife was diagnosed with melanoma too late and paid the ultimate price for it. And she was not an anomaly—though the disease is more common for White patients, Black cancer patients are far more likely to be diagnosed at later stages, causing a notable disparity in survival rates between non-Hispanics whites (90%) and non-Hispanic blacks (66%).

As a computer scientist, Smith suspected this racial bias and reached out to Adamson, hoping a Black dermatologist would have more diverse data sets. Though Adamson didn’t have what Smith was initially looking for, this realization ignited a personal mission to investigate and reduce disparities.

Now, Adamson uses the knowledge gained through his years of research to help advance the fight for health equity. To him, that means not only gaining a wider array of data sets, but also having more conversations with patients to understand how socioeconomic status impacts the level and efficiency of care.

“At the end of the day, what matters most is how we help patients at the patient level,” Adamson told Upworthy. “And how can you do that without knowing exactly what barriers they face?”

american cancer society, skin cacner treatment"What matters most is how we help patients at the patient level."https://www.kellydavidsonstudio.com/

The American Cancer Society believes everyone deserves a fair and just opportunity to prevent, find, treat, and survive cancer—regardless of how much money they make, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, gender identity, their disability status, or where they live. Inclusive tools and resources on the Health Equity section of their website can be found here. For more information about skin cancer, visit cancer.org/skincancer.

Alien Ant Farm's "Smooth Criminal" cover still rocks.

When Micheal Jackson released "Smooth Criminal" in 1988, I was a 13-year-old named Annie. As you can imagine, the "Annie, are you okay?" jokes came fast and furious, and they haven't let up much in the three and a half decades since.

It's all good. Those jokes gave me a respite from the "Annie get your gun" and "little orphan Annie" ones, and besides, it's a great song. It wasn't Jackson's biggest hit, but it was always my favorite, and not just because it bore my name. The music video—a nine-minute, dance-heavy mini-movie set in the 1930s gangster era—made it even better.

But apparently, mentioning "Smooth Criminal" or "Annie, are you okay?" to the younger folks doesn't conjure up the zoot suits and dimly lit speakeasy images it does for me. For them, it brings up images of an alternative rock punk band playing in a … boxing ring?

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via Lewis Speaks Sr. / Facebook

This article originally appeared on 02.25.21


Middle school has to be the most insecure time in a person's life. Kids in their early teens are incredibly cruel and will make fun of each other for not having the right shoes, listening to the right music, or having the right hairstyle.

As if the social pressure wasn't enough, a child that age has to deal with the intensely awkward psychological and biological changes of puberty at the same time.

Jason Smith, the principal of Stonybrook Intermediate and Middle School in Warren Township, Indiana, had a young student sent to his office recently, and his ability to understand his feelings made all the difference.

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