+
upworthy
Joy

12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women

We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.

women at work, comedy, leadership
With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men and the feels.


Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.

In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.

One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.


Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?

IS IT?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.

women\u2019s communication, women in business, men

Encourage.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.

Sarah Cooper comedy, women, success

Sharing ideas.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."

emails, comedy, gen

Email requests.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.

office politics, men, relationships

Idea sharing.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.

sexism, sexist comments, sexual harassment

Sexism.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.

threats, non-threatening, mansplain

Mansplain.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.

leadership, work mistakes, hurt feelings

Mistakes.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.

promotions, management, coworkers

Promotions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.

rude behavior, ignored, self esteem

Rude.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.

interruptions, resilience,expression

Interruptions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.

typing, off-putting, work skills

Collaboration.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.

disagreements, solution, problem solving

Disagreements.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!

strategies, power dynamics, team player

In conclusion...

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.

About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.

humor, satire, executives

The comedic book cover.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.


This article was originally published on 3.25.19

Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control.

“It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo (left) by Joana Godinho on Unsplash, Photo (right) by Robert Larsson on Unsplash

From food truck food to pet care, people are feeling priced out of things that used to be affordable.

Despite record unemployment, a booming stock market and easing inflation, Americans are still feeling squeezed at the cash register. We knew the pandemic was going to cause economic woes, and to be fair, things could be a lot worse, but that doesn't ease the shock of seeing the total on a receipt that's far more than we used to pay.

A user on Reddit asked, "What’s gotten so expensive that you no longer purchase it?" and it opened floodgate of financial experiences and feelings. Life in general seems like it's becoming unaffordable for many of us.

"I feel like I can’t walk out of my front door without automatically spending $20," shared one person.

"For me, that was over ten years ago. These days leaving the house is a minimum $50," quipped another.

Certain purchases and activities are putting a much bigger dent in our pocketbook than they used to, so if you've been feeling it, take solace in the fact that you're not alone. Here are the things people said they simply can't afford anymore because the prices have gotten too high, along with some savings tips for making some of your favorite things more affordable:

Keep ReadingShow less
Representative Image from Canva

There's probably no wrong time to shower, as long as you're doing it consistently.

Dr. Jason Singh, who has all kinds of medical insights on TikTok, recently weighed in on the topic he joked was “more debatable than pineapple on pizza.

That debate would be whether it’s better to shower in the morning, or at night.

You would think the “right answer” would be largely up to personal preference, much like which way to face while showering and whether or not to snack in the shower…two previous hot button issues online.

But according to Singh, there are definitive pros and cons to each option, which could settle the debate once and for all.

Keep ReadingShow less

The Princess Bride (left) Everything, Everywhere all at Once (center) The Godfather (right)

The 96th Academy Awards, better known as The Oscars, will be taking place in less than a week. Meaning some films will be recognized forever as the best of the best for 2024.

…But how many of us have sat down to watch an award winning, cult classic, incredibly popular movie, only to think…is everyone else watching what I'm watching? I don't get the hype!

You're not alone. Art, as we know, is subjective, and just because a movie is liked by many, it doesn't mean it will be liked by everyone.

When Reddit user u/imnachos asked: "What is a film you didn't really enjoy that everyone seemed to like?" their question got thousands of comments from less-than-enthused moviegoers. Some choices were to be expected, such as classics that maybe don't hold up so well with a modern lens. But then a few films that seem completely harmless and universally loved made the list.

Check out the titles below:

Keep ReadingShow less

Mel Robbins at the TEDx San Francisco event.

There are a lot of reasons for people to get discouraged these days. The cost of living is through the roof. We’ve entered the early phases of an election year that Americans of all political stripes are dreading and an increasing number of people are dealing with mental health issues.

That’s why we’re sharing a simple piece of advice from Mel Robbins that can hopefully uplift those feeling down by providing them with a simple tool to help when they feel hopeless.

Mel Robbins is a popular podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer who caught the public’s attention with her 2011 Ted Talk, “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over.”

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture

Church singer with 'next-level' range covers Adele and wows audiences on 'The Voice'

Atlanta-based Asher HaVon hit rich lows and incredible highs with his rendition of "Set Fire To The Rain."

The Voice/Youtube

Asher HaVon singing "Set Fire To The Rain"

Back in December of 2023, Adele told The Hollywood Reporter that she wasn’t fond of other people covering her songs since they cannot relate to them on the same level.

“I don’t mind it when they do, but I’m just saying they’re never going to be able to emote it,” she said.

But had she heard Asher HaVon’s rendition of her power ballad “Set Fire To Rain,” she might be singing a different tune.
Keep ReadingShow less