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Joy

Man with stage 4 cancer shares what he learned on a beautiful final day on the golf course

“It really puts it all in perspective.”

via Cottonbro Studios/Pexels

A man walks on a golf course.

For most golfers, the game is as enjoyable as it is frustrating. It’s one of the few sports where, for the most part, you’re playing against yourself. The goal isn’t usually to beat your buddies but to play a few strokes below your last game. It’s all about measurable self-improvement. When you feel like you're getting worse, you get a strange desire to chuck your putter into the nearest pond.

Golf is so challenging that only 50% of people who pick up a club can break a score of 100, which isn’t exactly impressive.

In a heartbreaking Reddit post, a golfer who goes by the name Drumsurf on the forum shared how he learned to enjoy every moment of an unimpressive round because he realized what the game was all about: hanging out with friends and, to put it simply, just being able to play.

Sadly, his great realization came on the final of his life.

“I’m 53 and have been playing since I was 19-20. Love the game. Got diagnosed with stage IV cancer in 2020 and kept playing between chemo sessions, surgeries, etc.” Drumsurf wrote on a May 15, 2024 post. “My cancer has gone nuclear and I took I turn for the worse 2 months ago. I can no longer physically handle playing 18 holes or so much of anything that’s active.”

But that didn’t stop him from playing one last round with his friends. His game started strong but quickly faltered.

“I went today with two long-time friends and managed to play the first three holes 1 over par, but then my lack of fitness caught up to me,” he continued. “I took a double on 4, hit my drive in the water on 5, and spent the rest of the round riding in the cart and nursing a Transfusion. Fun to hang with friends and be out of the house, but I’m done with the game. Brutal, really, as I will miss it greatly.”

He ended his post with a message for everyone who’s ever had a hard time on the course. “Next time you get frustrated with golf remember those of us that can’t play any longer. Hit ‘em straight boys!” Drumsurf wrote.

The piece was a welcome wake-up call to many of the duffers on Reddit’s golf forum who’ve all experienced frustrating rounds.

"Thanks, man. It really puts it all in perspective," Helloholder wrote. "We are all one golfer. You’ll always be out there with us," Downwithflairs added.

"I’ll drive one into the water for you," Head_Attempt joked.

"I will not get mad the next time I hit a garbage shot. I’ll think of you and take inspiration. We are with you, my friend," KbPHoto wrote.

Some people paid tribute to Drumsurf by writing his name on their golf balls to remember his wisdom on their next round.

After the post went viral, Drumsurf updated it by thanking everyone who chimed in with messages of support. “Thanks for all the well wishes,” Drumsurf wrote. “My battle is over. Stopped all treatment last month and started hospice care last week. I’m 100% at peace with it all.”

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Pop Culture

Man tries to correct a female golfer's swing, having no idea she's actually a pro

“My hope is that he comes across this video and it keeps him up at night."

Representative Image from Canva

A man tried to tell a pro golfer she was swing too slow.

We’re all probably familiar with the term “mansplaining,” when a man explains something to a woman in a condescending or patronizing way. Often, this comes in the form of a man explaining a subject to a woman that she already knows on an expert level. The female neuroscientist who was told by a man that she should read a research paper she actually wrote comes to mind.

Recently the next-level mansplaining was caught in the wild. Well, at a golf driving range anyway.

Georgia Ball, a professional golfer and coach who’s racked up over 3 million likes on TikTok for all her tips and tricks of the sport, was minding her own business while practicing a swing change.

It takes all of two seconds on Google to see that when it comes to incorporating a swing change, golfers need to swing slower, at 50-75% their normal speed…which is what Ball was doing.

And this is what prompted some man to insert his “advice.”

In the clip, we hear the man say “What you are doing there … you shouldn’t be doing that.”

Exhibiting the patience of a nun, Ball simply tells him that she’s going through a swing change.

But her attempts at reason are unfortunately interrupted, multiple times, when the man repeatedly assures her that since he’s been playing golf for 20 years, he knows what he’s talking about.

He then insists that she’s going too slow on her swing and should be following through.

Cue Ball’s incredulous look to the camera.

Hoping to appease him, Ball finally gives a hearty swing, writing “I knew I had to make this a good one” on the onscreen text.

As the ball sails through the air, the man says “see how much better that was?”

Yes. Really. He really said that.

Poor Ball then tries to tell him that even the “best players in the world” slow down their swing when going through a swing change.

“No, I understand what you’re saying, but I’ve been playing golf for 20 years,” the man repeats. At this point Ball is just “trying to keep it together.”

Sure, this guy might have not known who Ball was, but it’s pretty evident that the last thing she needed was this guy’s “advice.” And thus, the “mansplaining” jokes commend in the comments section.

Here’s a small sampling:

“As a guy, this is the first time I’ve ever seen ‘mansplaining’ happen.”

“The way he took credit for your next swing.”

“But did you consider that he’s been playing golf for 20 years?”

“*implement nothing he says* ‘See how much better that was’ HAHAHAHAH.”

“My hope is that he comes across this video and it keeps him up at night."

Others couldn’t help but praise Ball for keeping her cool.

“He doesn’t even give you a chance to explain, just forces his opinion and advice onto you. Goon on you for staying calm and polite,” one person wrote.

Of course, others felt Ball was being “too nice” to the man. One even exclaimed, “there’s no reason to be so polite!”

And perhaps worst of all, this kind of behavior is pretty common, especially for female athletes. A fellow female golfer even commented “So glad you posted this because it is my BIGGEST frustration when I’m at the driving range. Unfortunately, men always feel the need to comment on my swing or want to coach me. Guys take note: Please don’t.”

On the bright side: as annoying as it is that Ball had to endure that (not to mention what it says about the very real b.s. that women in general have to put up with on the regular) she laughed it off and just went on about her life being awesome at what she does. Just like the other smart, capable women of the world.

It’s almost like…maybe women don’t need advice, so much as they need respect? Now there’s a concept.

This article originally appeared on 2.26.24

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Family

Wife exposes the big double standard that exists between dad and mom hobbies

Is she the first person to realize this was happening?

via SheIsAPaigeTurner/TikTok, Rulo Davila/Pexels, Antoni Shkraba/Pexels

Paige points out the difference between male and female hobbies.

Paige, a work-from-home mom of 4, recently exposed a double standard between husbands and wives that exists in many heterosexual family structures. According to Paige, men can enjoy hobbies that take them out of the home for long periods of time whereas women are forced to choose hobbies that work around their family’s schedule.

The video has received over 730,000 views on TikTok and earned over 1700 comments.

“Male hobbies typically take them outside of the home during the daytime during caretaking hours. Female hobbies often revolve around the schedules of their partner and their children and account for the domestic labor that they are handling and any kind of mental load that they carry,” she begins.

The mom notes that men’s hobbies include hunting, golf and training for marathons that take them away from the home and family for long hours. However, women’s hobbies, such as gardening, book clubs, painting, or yoga, can all be done while working around the family’s schedule at home or nearby.

“We are able to and required to typically work our hobbies around the schedules of our families, whereas men's hobbies take them away from that,” Paige said. Men can take time away during caretaking hours because traditionally, women have been the default parents who are ultimately responsible for the brunt of the family’s domestic labor.

“So, men are able to leave the home for those extended periods of time during caretaking hours because they have a support at home. Most females do not feel like they have the same support when they would like to take on a hobby,” Paige said.

Paige proves the double standard by a hypothetical role reversal, such as joining a women’s golf league. “They may be met with a response that that is unfair, that takes them outside of the home, that is putting too much responsibility on the other partner, and that is not kind of equal division of labor, right?” she said.

This double standard has made Paige question whether moms enjoy the hobbies typically associated with married women. “Like often people joke like, oh, women love flowers and gardening. They don't all love that. One of the reasons they might get into it though is because they can do it from their home with their children. So it's something they can do together,” she said.

The post resonated with many women who want more balance in their relationships. "You could add to this video about mom's having guilt when it comes to their hobbies vs men who never think twice about taking part in their hobby," Michaela said.

"As a Dad, this is so aggravating. I cannot believe how many men do this to their partners," Steve Mollick added.

One mom chimed in with a clever way that her family deals with the gender hobby imbalance.

"My husband and I rotate weekend days off (I get Saturday, he gets Sunday usually) to be out of the house for 3 hours for whatever we want, and that has been the most amazing thing to happen to our relationship as a family. We both get time to decompress however we want every week," Lauren Reagan wrote.

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The awesome reason this 'golf' game is taking the world by storm.

True

It’s New Year’s Eve in Long Island, New York, about 15 degrees Fahrenheit, and there’s an inch of snow on the ground. Still, 45 men and women have hit the links for a golf tournament.

But this tournament features frisbees, not balls.

They’re playing disc golf, which is a sport that is exactly what it sounds like: golf with flying discs. Disc golfers tee off, aim for the greens, and “putt” from short distances, trying to toss their frisbee into a metal basket fixed to a pole planted in the ground.

Courses are similarly structured to those of its ball-based brethren, and can include water hazards and sandy bunkers. However, disc golf playing surfaces are frequently littered with more adventurous obstacles, such as in-play shrubs, trees, and extra-steep hills.

The group of players braving the bad weather are part of the Long Island Disc Golf club.

Meg Collins throwing a disc on New Years Day. Photo courtesy of Meg Collins.

This is a nonprofit dedicated to maintaining local courses and spreading the word about a sport they love — one that’s growing at a feverish pace.

“The club is just so awesome,” says Meg Collins, a 29-year-old administrative assistant who commuted three hours from her home in New Jersey to compete in the New Year’s Eve tournament, as its lowest-ranked player. “The people are great. You can play a round and not know anybody and leave with a hundred new friends.”

“It’s an inclusive sport; nobody takes themselves too seriously, even if you’re terrible at it, which I am,” she adds.

One of the primary reasons disc golf is catching on is that it is an inexpensive sport to play, drawing people from all walks of life.

You only needs a frisbee, and most courses are either free to play on or charge just a few dollars a round. People can even create their own makeshift course at a park if they like. Just put a target on the ground somewhere and challenge some frisbee-owning friends to hit it in as few tosses as possible.

Fernando Brown, Outdoor Recreation assistant director, “putts” in a disc at Edwards’ new disc golf course. Photo by Kenji Thuloweit/U.S. Air Force.

“There’s a new course going in the ground about every day in this country,” says Justin Menickelli, board of directors’ president at the Professional Disc Golf Association (PDGA), the sport’s governing body. “It is unbelievable.”

Nobody knows quite when disc golf was invented, but according to Menickelli, it first began enjoying noticeable growth in the mid 1970’s, primarily in Southern California and Western New York. Today, participation in disc golf doubles about every six years in the United States, Menickelli says, adding that disc golf sees tournaments hosted around the world. Recently, its popularity exploded in Scandinavia.

“Disc golf can be played by men and women, boys and girls, all at the same time, on the same course,” Menickelli says.

“With its very low startup cost, with it being virtually free, you don’t have those economic barriers that you do with golf.”

Rounds of disc golf also take about half the time of a round of golf.

Collins says that she’s built tons of new relationships thanks to disc golf. “You’ve got the hippie guys that like to play in the woods,” Collins observes, “and then you’ve got people who play ball golf and thought this was interesting and wanted to try it. Just a lot of different types of people and somehow everybody gets along.”

It’s those friendships that keep her going back to Long Island for games, even though she's over two hours away, and has been playing for a few years — admittedly without getting much better at the sport.

Many in the game feel a greater effort needs to be made to attract people across all cultures.

The sport is pulling in greater funds thanks to its increased popularity, and Menickelli says the PDGA must utilize the money tactfully. “We need to be cognizant of how we redirect our revenue into promoting our mission, which is to promote the sport globally, improve the game, and make more people want to be a part of it,” he says.

Similar to many disc golf groups across the country, the Long Island Disc Golf club sponsors local charity events and has done outreach to children’s groups, like the Boy Scouts of America, to secure the sport’s finest players of the future, who can play the game right now. And they’re always looking to expand their reach to more players, no matter their ability.

This inclusivity is clearly one of the reasons Collins keeps coming back.

Meg Collins. Photo courtesy of Meg Collins.

“It’s not one of those things where you’re judged because your skill level is low or because you’re a girl,” Collins says. “Everybody’s there for the same reason, so if somebody’s a little bit slower, everyone else just plays a little bit slower. We’re all out there having a good time.”

This story was produced as part of a campaign called "17 Days" with DICK'S Sporting Goods. These stories aim to shine a light on real occurrences of sports bringing people together.

Here’s what's going on with the drama surrounding the LPGA’s dress code.

An email sent out by the LPGA has created quite the storm online.

This is a woman playing golf.

Image via iStock.

This is a man playing golf.

Image via iStock.

It sure seems like they're playing the same sport, huh? You'd think the expectations surrounding their attire would reflect that, but a new controversial email sent out by the Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA) has thrown that into question.

And people definitely have some thoughts.

Earlier this month, the LPGA notified its players about updates in the organization's dress code.

The email, sent by LPGA player president Vicki Goetze-Ackerman, listed a number of policies regarding players' clothing and asked members to abide by the guidelines beginning July 17, 2017.

Here's how the email read, as Golf Digest pointed out:

Racerback with a mock or regular collar are allowed (no collar = no racerback)
Plunging necklines are NOT allowed.
Leggings, unless under a skort or shorts, are NOT allowed
Length of skirt, skort, and shorts MUST be long enough to not see your bottom area (even if covered by under shorts) at any time, standing or bent over.
Appropriate attire should be worn to pro-am parties. You should be dressing yourself to present a professional image. Unless otherwise told "no," golf clothes are acceptable. Dressy jeans are allowed, but cut-offs or jeans with holes are NOT allowed.
Workout gear and jeans (all colors) NOT allowed inside the ropes
Joggers are NOT allowed

As you might expect, the LPGA's email sparked a wave of criticism online.

As Teen Vogue put it, the list "leaves you wondering, what is allowed?"

Policing what women wear on the golf course is taking a step backward (maybe even into a previous century), some argued.

"Plain and simple this is a mistake by the LPGA," one Twitter user wrote. "The athletic wear is fine and crosses no line. #LetThemPlay"

But many people — most notably, several LPGA players themselves — don't see why people are making a fuss.

"There’s very minimal change to what our previous dress code is," golfer Christina Kim — who's currently competing in the LPGA tournament near Toledo, Ohio, this week — told The Detroit News. "I don’t know what people are making the hoopla about."

Fellow pro golfer Paige Spiranac tweeted that she doesn't think the dress code goes far enough.

Amid the backlash, it's worth comparing these rules to the dress code for men competing in the PGA.*

(*Why the women's association has an "L" in its name while the men's association apparently doesn't need to clarify gender is an article for a different day.)

According to the PGA's official website, its male "players shall present a neat appearance in both clothing and personal grooming. Clothing worn by players shall be consistent with currently accepted golf fashion."

And that's ... that.

The LPGA's (very) detailed email to its players reflects a bigger societal problem.

Double standards between men and women's athletic wear is nothing new.

In certain sports, standard attire requires girls and women wear much less than their male counterparts while competing. But in other sports, women are expected to cover up. We seem to police female athletes' bodies — in tennis arenas, swimming pools, volleyball courts, and more — with much more scrutiny than we do their male counterparts.

U.S. Olympic beach volleyball players Misty May-Treanor (left) and Sean Rosenthal (right). Photos by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images, Ryan Pierse/Getty Images.

The LPGA, however, maintains that its dress code is certainly not the latest example of any sexist industry double standard.

Amid the uproar, the LPGA released a statement, blasting media reports and claiming the criticism has been misguided.

The statement reads, as Yahoo News reported:

Regardless of the LPGA's dress code, the fact the organization's email sparked such strong responses shows this is a discussion we must keep having.

After all, athletes of all genders should be seen as competitors — as athletes capable of dressing in the clothes that enable them to be great at their sport — not as aesthetic objects to patrol.

"Policing these women's bodies and clothes takes away from their professional accomplishments," Suzannah Weiss wrote for Teen Vogue. "And if the sport wants a positive image, body-shaming is not the way to get it."

Trump is already building a wall in Ireland, and the story behind it is ridiculous.

The Lodge at Doonbeg is one of the most highly praised resorts in Europe.

It attracts visitors from across the globe for its scenic views of Ireland's Atlantic coast and, most importantly, for its celebrated golf course.

Since February 2014, the resort has been owned by Trump International, who scooped it up after the previous owners reportedly became unable to afford the necessary repairs from a particularly harsh winter.

"We’re going to reshape it and make it one of the greatest golf courses in the world," Trump said at the time.

Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images.

Trump's first order of business? Build up the part of the golf course that runs along the beach.

An officially protected "special area of conservation," Doonbeg's Doughmore Beach had already lost more than 30 feet of its legendary dunes to erosion due to rising sea levels.

So Trump's sons Eric and Donald Jr. gave the go-ahead to move some massive boulders on the sand at the edge of the property — without bothering to get the proper construction clearance first.

As you can imagine, that didn't go over well. Local officials put a stop to the un-permitted rock wall quickly.

So the Trumps responded by ... threatening to build an even bigger wall.

It's a classic Trump negotiation tactic: If we have to ask permission to drop a few big boulders on your beloved beach, then we might as well go all the way and spend millions of dollars on a 200,000-ton rock wall that's almost two miles long and 15 feet tall.

"It seems a very heavy-handed approach," David Flynn of the local West Clare Surf Club told the Irish Examiner. "We are not anti-development and we had a very good relationship with the golf club since 2002, but what they are planning is a quantum leap from previous proposals."

A view of Trump's Doonbeg resort from the water. Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images.

When the Trumps filed a permit application with the Clare County Council about building the wall, they used climate change to justify the project.

According to Politico's review of the application's environmental impact statement prepared by an Irish environmental consultancy, it said in part (emphasis added):

Basically, they argued that this giant wall is necessary in order prevent additional damage from rising sea levels, which are caused by global warming and only getting worse.

Put another way:

THE TRUMPS...

WANT TO SPEND...

$11 MILLION DOLLARS...

ON A SEA WALL...

TO STOP SOMETHING...

THAT DONALD TRUMP...

DOESN'T EVEN...

BELIEVE EXISTS.

Keep in mind that Trump blamed the struggles of his Scottish golf resort on "bird-killing" wind farms. He has vowed to renegotiate the already-lackluster Paris Climate Accord if elected president. His proposed energy plan repeatedly refers to a nonexistent thing called "clean coal." And he has previously said that climate change is, "just a very, very expensive form of tax."

And then he specifically cited global warming as the reason why he needed to build an ugly rock wall to protect his treasured Irish golf resort.

Trump at his Aberdeenshire golf course just after Brexit, which he called a "great thing" and that they "took back their country" despite the fact that Scotland voted overwhelmingly to remain. But I digress. Photo by Michal Wachucik/AFP/Getty Images.

This is, of course, incredibly maddening logic. But it's about about the environment too.

Rising water levels and erosion are real problems, and seawalls can in fact help mitigate some potential harm to coastal communities. In that regard, Trump's appeal actually makes sense. But according to Friends of the Irish Environment, a proposed 15-foot wall around one specific part of the beach could seriously interfere with Doughmore's ecosystem.

The reverb from Trump's ginormous wall could affect the natural cycle of the dunes and vegetation, hurting not only the rare creatures that live in that pristine environment, but also ruining the beach's reputation as a stunning vista and surf destination. By deflecting the winds and tides, the wall could also cause greater flooding damage to occur along other parts of the coast — where the local people, many of whom work at the resort, have to live.

A rainy day in Doonbeg. Photo by O. Morand/Wikimedia Commons.

Oh, and if the wall doesn't get built? Trump has already threatened to close the resort and devastate the local economy.

Tourism is a multibillion-industry for the Republic of Ireland, and the people of Doonbeg are essentially being held hostage in a catch-22: either Trump's giant wall gets built and the locals lose their beloved beach while bearing the brunt of flooding damage, or 350 people lose their jobs immediately, with the rest of the community suffering as a result of that lost income.

"The fear of our friends and neighbours losing work is very scary," explained an administrator from the Save Doughmore Beach Facebook page, in an interview with Magic Seaweed. "We are in no way trying to close the hotel and golf course, we are just asking for some ethical business practices and some sound environment practices."

Surfers at Doughmore Beach. Photo by Lukemcurley/Wikimedia Commons.

This whole situation is essentially a microcosm of what Trump stands for and how he gets his way.

We've seen him use wealth and status to bully the little guy, while willfully denying the facts of reality just to make some cash. And now he's employing those same manipulative, strong-arm negotiation tactics in a pissing match over environmental issues and the interests of a small community.

It's possible to build coastal protections that don't also damage the environment.

It's possible to build a resort that provides hundreds of jobs without taking over the entire community, impeding their access to public property, and essentially creating an economic throwback to feudal sharecropping.

It's possible to compromise and still make a profit, to provide good services in good faith that make the world a better place and also keep the money coming.

But Trump's modus operandi has always been the same: He'll say that climate change is a hoax at the same time that he builds an ivory tower to protect himself from its effects, while also abandoning his own workers to live with worsened water threats and no choice but to just keep working for the man who got them into that situation in the first place.

That's not the kind of person that I want to see in the White House.

Palmer was one of the world's most dominant sports figures, but it's what else he did that makes him a legend.

On Sept. 25, 2016, golf legend Arnold Palmer died at the age of 87.

The Associated Press pick for "Athlete of the Decade" for the 1960s, Palmer was a dominant force in the sporting world, winning 62 PGA Tour events, the fifth-most of any golfer in history. A true legend, Palmer is credited with helping make golf mainstream and commercialize it in America.

Arnold Palmer during the Piccadilly World Match Play Championships in Wentworth, Surrey, October 1967. Photo by George Freston/Fox Photos/Getty Images.

But less talked about than his stunning professional career are his decades of charitable work — most notably, his work with the Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children in Orlando, Florida.

During the mid-1980s, Palmer and his wife, Winnie, visited the neonatal intensive care unit and pediatrics wing at Orlando Regional Medical Center. Though staffed by talented and hardworking doctors, the facility lacked a number of resources. This, sadly, meant that many Orlando-area children would need to travel to other cities (Tampa, Jacksonville, Gainesville, Miami) for specialized care.

"We can do better than this — we should do better than this — for the children of our community," said Palmer, according to the Arnold Palmer Hospital for Children website.

Inspired by the doctors at ORMC, Palmer dedicated himself to improving their working conditions and raising the funds to open a dedicated children's hospital. In 1989, the APHC opened its doors.

Palmer competes in the Ryder Cup, leading the U.S. team to victory. Photo by Central Press/Getty Images.

In 2006, the Winnie Palmer Hospital for Women and Babies opened, expanding the work of the the APHC. Since the APHC's opening, nearly 200,000 children have been born there and at the WPHWB, with more than a million patients served.

"Making a positive change in the life of a child or young person is the most significant thing you can do," Palmer once said. "Improving the health and well-being of children is everyone's mission."

In addition to his work bringing health care to women and children, Palmer's charitable foundation, Arnie's Army, has tackled topics such as the environment and prostate cancer research, raising millions of dollars for those causes.

Palmer's work both on and off the course won't be forgotten anytime soon.

In 2004, President George W. Bush awarded Palmer the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest U.S. civilian honor.

"For all who love the game of golf, and for those who love to see it played, there has never been a sight in the game quite like Arnold Palmer walking down the fairway toward the 18th green," Bush said at the ceremony.

Palmer, standing alongside Rita Moreno, is awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President George W. Bush at the White House in 2004. Photo by Luke Frazza/AFP/Getty Images.

In a statement posted the morning after Palmer's death, President Obama paid tribute to the late golfer, calling him "the American Dream come to life."

Friend, rival, and fellow golf legend Jack Nicklaus honored Palmer as well, saying that he "was the king of our sport and always will be."

Arnold Palmer was a beacon of light, a hopeful figure through tough times. His life and death are reminders to be kind, to give back, and above all, to never give up.

Palmer in 2015. Photo by Glyn Kirk/AFP/Getty Images.

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