upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Most Shared

Arguing is easy; persuasion is hard: what Donald Trump teaches us about debate.

An illustrated look at flawed arguments and how to avoid them.

Ask a handful of Donald Trump supporters what first caught their attention about the GOP nominee, and you're bound to hear a few familiar responses — among them, the impression that the business tycoon "tells it like it is."

He's a "straight shooter" who comes off as lively and spontaneous at rallies, on social media, and at debates. He gives off the impression of being a man of the people despite the fact that he lives in a literal gold tower.

What many probably don't notice about Trump's arguments, however, is that they're bad. They're really, really bad.


Photo by Charlie Leight/Getty Images.

When you detach Trump's words from his bluster, what might seem like convincing arguments are actually just highly-rehearsed rhetorical tricks.

Stripped bare, Trump sidesteps having to argue his position by using common rhetorical devices instead. While persuasive (after all, he has millions of supporters), these arguments tend to be without substance and well ... bad.

See, not all arguments are created equal. In fact, some arguments are just plain bad. They use logical fallacies (flaws in thinking) to make a point that may not be true. And that's all the more reason to learn to identify them when you see them.

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

By learning to identify these fallacies, you'll be able to improve your own argument skills and — perhaps even better — you'll be better able to identify when someone is trying to use a bad argument on you.

Below are nine examples of bad arguments to keep an eye out for, as illustrated by Donald Trump:

1. The "straw man" argument

A straw man is when you deliberately misrepresent your opponent’s argument to make it easier for you to attack. Straw man arguments are usually deployed as a way of making your opponent seem extreme, making your own argument appear more reasonable by comparison.

“Hillary Clinton wants to abolish the Second Amendment,” Donald Trump said during a rally. “Hillary Clinton wants to take your guns away, and she wants to abolish the Second Amendment!"

Illustrations by Karl Orozco for Upworthy.

The truth is that while Clinton supports a number of gun safety measures — such as background checks and preventing members of the terrorism watch list from purchasing guns — there’s no reason to believe she would support repealing the Second Amendment.

Saying that she wants to abolish the Second Amendment, as Trump did, is a gross simplification of her actual position, and the perfect example of a straw man argument.

2. The ad hominem argument.

Basically, ad hominem is the strategy Donald Trump uses when he calls Marco Rubio “Little Marco,” refers to Hillary Clinton as “Crooked,” or says Elizabeth Warren is “Goofy.” The target of an ad hominem attack is the person you’re arguing against, rather than their ideas.

Look at that face!” Trump said about rival candidate Carly Fiorina in an interview with Rolling Stone in September 2015. "Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?! I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not s'posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?”

Rather than pushing back on Fiorina’s ideas, experience, or policy proposals, Trump focused on her appearance — something that should be irrelevant in a presidential election.

3. The "appeal to fear" argument.

Tapping into people's heightened emotions is a powerful rhetorical device, and when used in the context of arguments, it can be incredibly persuasive. Fear is an especially potent emotion to tap into during an argument. When we’re afraid, our decision-making skills are impaired; we don’t think clearly, and we don’t look at arguments from a rational perspective.

When Donald Trump says things like, “There is a great hatred toward Americans by a large segments of the Muslim population. It’s gonna get worse and worse. You’re gonna have more World Trade Centers,” he’s appealing to fear.

While there are questions about the facts involved (Is there a “great hatred toward Americans by large segments of the Muslim population”? Are we at risk of more World Trade Center-style attacks? Trump doesn’t provide facts to support either claim), our brains are conditioned to set those aside in favor of doing what he tells us will keep us safe: in this case, voting for Donald Trump.

4. The "personal incredulity" and "appeal to ignorance" arguments.

Leaning heavily on your own disbelief or ignorance on any given subject is a flawed approach to winning an argument. “I can’t believe x, therefore y must be true” makes for a pretty weak argument in most cases — especially when facts are left out of the equation.

“It’s coming from all over South and Latin America, and it’s coming probably from the Middle East,” Trump said in reference to illegal immigration. “But we don’t know 'cause we have no protection.”

If that sounds like word salad, that’s because it is. Trump’s whole argument rests on information he doesn’t have — and that he knows you don’t have either. When he says “we don’t know,” he really means that he doesn’t know.

5. The "bandwagon" argument.

Also known as appeal to belief, appeal to the masses, appeal to popularity, and other names, the bandwagon fallacy is an argument that rests on the belief that because a lot of people agree on something, it must be correct.

This is another favorite tactic Donald Trump uses during his rallies. “I only wish these cameras — because there is nothing as dishonest as the media, that I can tell you,” he has said. “I only wish these cameras would spin around and show the kind of people that we have here. The numbers of people that we have. I just wish they'd for once do it.”

His boastful argument is meant to suggest that because a lot of people come out to support him at his rallies, or that because he has a lot of Twitter followers, he would be the best president. In truth, while this may (or may not) be a decent predictor of whether he’ll receive a lot of votes, his popularity doesn’t mean that his policy proposals would be any more effective than his opponent’s.

Similarly, Trump has a tendency to appeal to authority (another logical fallacy) in citing his endorsements (such as those of religious leaders, basketball coaches, boxing promoters, and just broadly "many people"), to tie into the bandwagon argument, suggesting that if certain other people support Trump, you should too.

6. The "black and white" argument.

The world is filled with possibilities — that is, until you deploy to the black and white fallacy in an argument. Also known as a false dilemma, false dichotomy, false choice, or bifurcation, the black and white fallacy presents situations as only having two distinct options, when in actuality there are numerous possible outcomes.

“We’re going to start winning so much that you’re going to get used to winning instead of getting used to losing,” Trump said in a campaign video.

In this situation, the listener is being given two options: winning or losing. This quote was delivered in the context of trade deals, but has been used throughout Trump's campaign to contrast himself (a winner) with his opponents (losers). Now, of course, elections have winners and losers, but Trump was speaking in a more general sense that doesn’t necessarily support his argument.

7. The "slippery slope" argument.

Ever hear someone make an argument against something on the basis that if we let that thing happen, it’ll lead to something terrible down the road? That’s called the slippery slope, and it’s a wildly popular argument among politicians. This argument style combines an appeal to fear and a straw man argument, and it uses extreme hypothetical outcomes as evidence for why we should (or shouldn’t) do something.

“You know what’s going to happen,” Trump said during an October 2015 rally. “[Ford is] going to build a plant and illegals are going to drive those cars right over the border. Then they’ll probably end up stealing the car and that’ll be the end of it.”

In that example, Trump argues that if Ford builds a manufacturing plant in Mexico, its cars will be used to transport undocumented immigrants into the U.S. and cause a spike in crime. That’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s also a clear use of the slippery slope fallacy due to the fact that his conclusion (Ford shouldn’t move its plant to Mexico) isn’t even directly related to the argument’s premise (undocumented immigrants will steal cars).

Not to mention, Ford has denied Trump’s allegation that they’re considering a move to Mexico. When an argument rests heavily on the use of the phrase “probably will,” it’s a good sign that you might be listening to a slippery slope argument.

8. The "genetic fallacy" argument.

Also known as the fallacy of virtue or fallacy of origins, the genetic fallacy is an argument based on someone or something’s origin, history, or source. Similar to the composition fallacy — that falsely argues that because some portion of a group is one way, all members of that group are — the genetic fallacy relies on irrelevant stereotypes.

In June 2016, Trump went on CNN to defend statements he made about Gonzalo Curiel, a judge who was overseeing a lawsuit brought against Trump University.

“I have had horrible rulings,” Trump said, arguing for Judge Curiel to recuse himself. “I have been treated very unfairly by this judge. This judge is of Mexican heritage. I’m building a wall, OK?”

Here, Trump used the genetic fallacy argument to suggest that, because Judge Curiel (who was born in Indiana, for what it’s worth) is “of Mexican heritage,” he can’t objectively rule in any case Trump is involved in due to Trump’s plans to build a wall along the U.S./Mexico border.

9. The "anecdote" argument.

Stories are great, and when used correctly in the course of making an argument, they can be the key to persuasion. When used in lieu of hard data, however, anecdotes lose their luster.

To be sure, Donald Trump isn't the only politician to regularly rely on the use of anecdotes to make his points. Where Trump differs, however, is in how he deploys them: often without any data to back up his claim, using phrases like “many people are saying.”

Claims like “Many people are now saying I won South Carolina because of the last debate,” “I beat China all the time,” and “I will be the best by far in fighting terror” aren’t rooted in data, but rather in Trump's own feelings.

In many of Trump’s anecdotes, he combines fallacies, sometimes incorporating bandwagon thinking (“Many people are saying…”) or black and white arguments (“I beat China” implies there is a winner and loser in each trade deal — but there doesn't have to be! International trade doesn't need to be a zero-sum game! — and that if Trump isn’t elected, we’ll "lose" to China).

Fallacy-filled arguments like the ones Donald Trump uses are like candy bars: They taste good, and there’s nothing wrong with eating them, but they’re not exactly packed with nutrients.

The goal of being able to recognize these tactics is to merely be aware when people — especially politicians, presidential candidates, and people in positions of power — are making poorly-formed arguments. Identifying these arguments will give you time to look for facts to support whatever decision you’re making based on their argument and to make sure they aren't getting you to agree with something just because it sounds good.

If a bad argument is still persuasive, is it really a bad argument?

"A persuasive argument is one that does in fact succeed in convincing the audience that the conclusion is at least probably true," writes Eastern Kentucky University's Frank Williams. "Logically bad arguments are sometimes very persuasive!  And logically good arguments can fail to be persuasive!"

Photo by Mark Wallheiser/Getty Images.

In other words, just because something is technically a "bad" argument (for example, any of the above Trump arguments) doesn't mean that it won't be convincing. As Trump's supporter base can tell you, he's plenty convincing — even if his arguments are sometimes lacking in key components, like facts or substance.

Of course, there is something called the fallacy fallacy, which means assuming that because someone’s argument used a fallacy, the point they were making is automatically untrue or incorrect. In other words, just because someone makes a bad argument doesn’t necessarily mean they’re wrong.

Finally, a good argument consists of two parts: a conclusion (what you’re arguing for) and a premise (what you’re saying to support your conclusion). Good arguments hinge on believable, factual premises and good reasons for accepting the conclusion as true. It’s as simple as that.

Critical thinking skills are essential for making informed decisions.

To think critically is to examine reason, purpose, assumptions, facts, consequences, alternate viewpoints, and personal biases before choosing to take action, whether you’re in the voting booth or just talking to a friend. Hopefully, with the help of these examples of fallacies, it just got a little bit easier.

Joy

People from around the globe share 15 signs that someone is obviously an American

"An Italian told me that Americans walk confidently in the wrong direction."

tourists, american tourists, us tourists, vacation, american style

Americans on vacation.

One of the fun things about traveling to different countries is that you not only get to learn about other cultures, but you also learn some things about your own. Americans who travel abroad often learn that people around the world appreciate them for being open, friendly, and good at spreading hope and optimism.

On the other hand, people in other countries can often tell when an American is coming from a mile away because they speak loudly, whether indoors or outdoors. Americans also have a very peculiar body language and are known to lean on things when they have to stand for an extended period.



A Reddit user posed a question in the AskReddit subforum to learn more about how Americans stand out abroad: What's an "obvious" sign that someone is American? The post received more than 35,000 responses, with an overwhelming number of commenters noting that Americans are all smiles and love to make small talk, something most people appreciate.

According to Redditors, here are 15 "obvious" signs that someone is American:

1. They have a unique confidence

"An Italian told me that Americans walk confidently in the wrong direction."

"Been taught to walk fast, and look worried.. People think you know what you're doing."

2. They're friendly

"I worked as a cashier in a tourist place in Paris, I always recognised Americans because they were kinda friendly to me and they always left tips."

"I guess there are worse things than friendly and generous."


3. Time = distance

"If someone asks how far away something is, an American will tell how you long it takes to get there as opposed to a physical distance."

"It actually pisses off some Americans to give a distance in miles, unless they're calculating gas mileage. In some places, you have to give with and without traffic options. I think it's more valuable info in time than in distance."

4. Grinning at strangers

"The gentle grins you give to strangers if you make eye contact with them as you pass by, at least in the Midwest. was not well received in Germany."

"I dated a European man here in the US. When we walked together, every time I made eye contact with someone on our path I would smile at them, and they would always smile back. Boyfriend was so confused at all these strangers smiling at me. Kept asking if I knew all these people. It was hilarious."


5. They like personal space

"How much personal space they give themselves. Americans like at LEAST an arm's length."

"We're conditioned to fill spaces evenly. I noticed when i worked delivery, spending lots of quality time on elevators that for every new person that enters, everybody shuffles to even things out. Similar thing plays out in social gatherings and bars. Not sure if that's universal or not, but I find it interesting. I think the size of our personal bubbles is because our spaces are generally much larger because we've got the space (heh) to build bigger buildings, sidewalks, roads etc. Might also explain why we're louder. Used to filling larger spaces with volume."

Body language expert Joe Navarro says that among Americans, the social zone for acquaintances and casual interactions is four to 12 feet, while family and close friends stand 1.5 to four feet apart. The intimate zone, for those closest to us, ranges from the skin to about 18 inches.


6. They lean

"According to the CIA, when training to be a spy, you have to unlearn how to lean. Americans tend to lean on things when standing still."

All of this is true, according to Jonna Mendez, the former chief of disguise at the CIA, who has shared some of her tips and tricks for making Americans seem more European. "So we would de-Americanize you," Mendez told NPR. "They think that we are slouchy, a little sloppy. And they think that they can almost see that in our demeanor on the street because they stand up straight. They don't lean on things."


7. They don't have an indoor voice

"I've lived in America for 25 years, and it still irritates me that instead of lowering their voices in restaurants so everyone can hear, Americans just scream over each other and make their restaurants as loud as clubs."

"For some reason, my otherwise smart and wonderful American friends will speak in the same volume, diction, and speed regardless of any outside factor unless specifically asked."

8. Dessert for breakfast

"In my homestay in London, I was told that I was 'so American' for enjoying a piece of cake for breakfast (not frosted cake, but like a nuts and dried fruit spiced coffeecake kind of thing). Apparently, that's exclusively for like a 4 pm snack, and breakfast is more of a savory meal."

"A lot of American breakfast items in my mind are desserts (pancakes, muffins, waffles, etc.). It doesn't mean I won't eat them, but it's kinda weird to do so."

9. They wear their clothes differently

"A British man once told me he knew I was American because I was wearing a baseball cap backwards."

"An Italian told me they could tell I was American because I wore my sunglasses on the top of my head when I wasn't using them."


10. Exposed soles

"While visiting Turkey, I was told that I looked American because I was sitting with one leg across the other, and the bottom of my shoe was exposed. Apparently, it's rude idk."

"In a lot of places outside of the US, showing the bottom of your shoe is rude."

11. Tactical gear

"Tactical sunglasses."

"I'm in the US, and virtually anything marketed towards men has the word 'tactical' in front of it."

12. They love small talk

"I'm from California (though a smallish town), and we wave to neighbors on our road, even if we haven't met, and start conversations in the grocery line with people if the opportunity presents itself. Also, smiling and saying hello to someone you happen to walk by and make eye contact with is quite normal. We are a social species, it would be so weird not to be friendly, even to strangers, for me, and I'm not even that social of a person."

"What really gets me to it is not that Americans do small talk constantly, but the fact that they are so good and fast at it. I mean, I say 'yeah, it's hot,' and they reply with some interesting fact or make a connection to their hometown. I feel less of myself after this. They must have some small talk class in school or some sh*t."

13. They like to point

"I've always observed my US friends like to point at stuff while walking and say what it is…. We were out walking around Amsterdam recently and they were like 'hey look it's a smoke shop'…. 'Oh look a sex shop'…. 'Oh hey, it's a prostitute' …. 'Look at the canal'…. 'Wow it's another prostitute'….. 'another canal' etc etc. It was like watching Netflix with Audio Descriptions turned on."

"You know that little voice inside your head, your internal monologue? Americans seem to monologue their thoughts."


14. Optimism and enthusiasm

"Dunno in all context, but Americans in Europe stand out with their ceaseless optimism and enthusiasm."

"I'm reminded a lot of Ted Lasso. Everyone I know (all Americans) loves the show. I wonder what kind of European fan base it has."

"Americans are so positive and have such a thirst for life. It sickens me."

15. They eat while walking

"When I lived in Europe, people said only Americans eat while walking. I'd be eating a bagel or something on the way to work or class, and multiple people asked if I was American lol."

"Jay Leno said on Top Gear, I think it was, that Americans are also the only people who eat while driving. I don't do this, but I constantly see people who do, haha, especially in LA, where people spend a lot of time in their cars."

ableism, disability, inclusion, conversation, identity

Jackie Lopez is eating soup and spouting her truth.

When she was three years old, Jackie Lopez lost her arms in an accident. Growing into adulthood without those appendages, she has learned and trained to use her legs as arms and her feet as her hands to feed herself, make meals, play video games, wrap Christmas gifts, and any other activity a person could do. Throughout her life, people have remarked about how tough her circumstances are and how strong she is, and to all of those people she has one request: Please stop.

“Because I don’t have arms, I get these comments a lot and a lot of people think it’s a compliment when it really isn’t. It’s so annoying and irritating to see and hear all the time,” Lopez explained on social media.


@minjacks

[my audio got messed up 🫩]this how I FEEL, maybe other disabled ppl don’t mind but i do. #foryou #disabilitytiktok #disabled #disabilityawareness #imjustagirl

In her video, Lopez shared the three most common comments she receives as a disabled person that aren’t outwardly or intentionally mean, but annoy and actually hurt her. She prefaced her video saying that, while these comments are mostly her pet peeve and other disabled folks may not mind them, it might be a good idea to not say these things to other disabled people either.

“I could never…”

Lopez shared how hearing people say “I could never be like you/use my feet like you/live like you/etc.” really annoyed her because she had no other option but to use her feet as her hands. Saying “I could never” can be interpreted as a form of othering, even though the intention of the comment was good.

“Oh, my problems are suddenly small.”/ “I should stop complaining about my life.”

Lopez shared that this type of comment made her feel guilty, both for herself and for those who say it to her. She explains that just because an able-bodied person’s problems are different, it doesn't invalidate them. Her having no arms doesn’t make the able-bodied person’s problems go away or mean those problems should be unaddressed.

“Girl, just complain,” said Lopez. “If I were you and I had hands, best believe I would complain, too.”

@minjacks

how i play my switch 🎀🎮✨. #foryou #latina #chapina #armlessgirl #disability #disabilitytiktok #howtotiktok #girlgamer #GamerGirl #nintendo #nintendoswitch #nintendoswitcholed #oledswitch

“God gives the hardest struggle to the strongest people.”

This comment really annoyed and hurt Lopez, especially when she was growing up in the church. Aside from the presumption of faith with a comment like this, the framing of it makes it seem like Lopez’s disability was destined or given as some form of divine “test” after going through a life-altering experience.

“Keep your belief to yourself and don’t put it on me,” she asked. “I went through this, not you.”

Other comments and thoughts

Commenters noted how impressed they were by what Lopez could do with her feet, while other commenters immediately replied to them with versions of, “This is the type of stuff she’s talking about.” In spite of that, several other commenters cosigned Lopez’s feelings with some of them sharing “kind” comments that bothered them:

“While you’re sitting commenting that you ‘couldn’t imagine’ living her life, she’s eating soup and making a TikTok like any other person.”

“I hate when people say ‘You're such an inspiration’ like in what way have I inspired you? Are you trying to become disabled?”

“‘Suddenly my problems are small’, translation ‘I’m happy that I’m not like you and I see you as your struggles.’”

“‘You’re so strong, I just would’ve died’ Like, oh, okay, so you’d rather choose death than what I went through? What should I do with that information?”

“Those are very valid points. People need to be more considerate about what they say.”

“‘I could never.’ Well yeah, it didn't happen to you, it happened to her and as we can all see she could and can. You aren't obliged to make fantasy scenarios to be horrified at.”

“I get so annoyed for you. Even in this current comment section people are saying similar-ish things.”

“Some of them come from a place of kindness, but like you said, it gets to a point where you need to stop infantilizing and pitying every single disabled person you meet by reminding them that their life and their normal is different to everyone else’s.”

Lopez's video went viral, encouraging her to make a second one with even more "compliments" or "nice" comments that she frequently hears that aren't boosting or helpful at all.

@minjacks

if u ain’t disabled stop telling me how i should feel bout these comments. #foryou #disabilitytiktok #disabled #disabilityawareness #imjustagirl

She ends her video saying that those types of comments have formed into a type of ableism—and she has a point based on anecdotes from others who are blind, paralyzed, or are otherwise differently-abled. Based on hearing these experiences, it's best for everyone to stop, slow down, and take an intentional beat to consider their words before saying them—even if they have the best intentions.

Culture

Frugal people share the best money-saving advice from parents and grandparents they still use

"My mother taught me how to compare prices per item or ounce rather than by the package."

frugal, frugal lifestyle, frugal advice, frugal living, money saving tips
Images via Canva/spxChrome, irynakhabliuk

People who live frugal lifestyles share best frugal advice from older generations.

For those with great grandparents, grandparents, and parents from the Greatest Generation (those born 1901 to 1927) and the Silent Generation (those born 1928 to 1945), much can be learned from how to live a frugal lifestyle. These two generations lived through the Great Depression and World War II, two events that forced Americans to become more resourceful due to difficult financial situations, food scarcity, and rations.

Today, people who consider themselves frugal are always looking for more ways to save money. To glean frugal wisdom from older generations that would still be applicable today, one frugal person posed the question on Reddit: "What frugal lesson from your parents or grandparents you still use today?"


And many frugal people offered their best money-saving tips from their relatives that they still use today. From how to save on money to utilities, these are the best frugal tips from Redditors:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Reuse from your kitchen

"My grandma rinsed and reused foil until it crumbled. I rolled my eyes then, now I catch myself doing it. Funny how those 'silly' habits end up smart. Mine also saves glass jars, labeled lids with tape, turned t-shirt into rags, and froze veg scraps for stock. :)" - YourxCherry

"I save butter wrappers in the fridge to use for greasing baking pans. To get everything out of empty condiment bottles, I pour a little vinegar, milk or whatever is fitting, then shake it up and use that for salad dressing or other cooking needs." - so-many-cats

"I love Tostitos salsa jars. Whatever I cook, such as soup, ground beef, pasta, the extras, or leftovers, everything goes into these jars. They are so perfect for portioning. One jar = one person's meal portion. I literally have more than 30 jars, and they are incredibly convenient!" - Proud_Possibility256

"I do not go grocery shopping until my fridge is empty including my freezer zero food waste. I have become very creative with recipes. Saves me money. Always take lunch to work." - Samantha-the-mermaid

"My grandmother took care of her five siblings during the depression after her parents died on .45¢ an hour. I make more money in an hour than she made in a week. She never wasted ANYTHING. She taught me to save bacon grease for seasoning, bread ends for bread pudding, leftovers for soup, and coffee grounds and eggshells for the garden. We didn't carve our pumpkins- we painted them and made pumpkin pie out of it after Halloween." - That-Response-1969

"I sometimes hate it that I am like this, but one of the first odd things that come to mind is labeling bottles of home goods like dish soap, body wash, bars of soap, hand soap, etc. so you know which one lasts the longest after purchase. Keep in my mind, my grandmother grew up during the Great Depression. I also spent a majority of my days with her making food (predominately just standing around doing nothing useful). All of the meals we hold dear to our hearts are actually just frugal meals to stretch out. She would get extremely nervous if she came to your home and there were not canned goods. This is winter in the upper Midwest during the Great Depression to put it into perspective, along with canning and preparing for everything. This is a person that lived by candle light basically. When she finally had a icebox, every last meal had to be frozen. No matter what you made, it had to be able to sit there when necessary. You make no meal that cannot be eaten for three days or frozen solid for the next month. I still live by this routine." - WideRoadDeadDeer95

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Make your money go further

"My mother taught me how to compare prices per item or ounce rather than by the package." - Chicpea09

"My parents always framed purchases by how much time I would have to exchange for the item. So when I was in 6th grade and I wanted a TV for my bedroom and it was $120, I would have to do 6 to 10ish baby sitting jobs - then ask myself is it worth that exchange. This is still how I frame most purchases." - BagNo349

"My grandfather told me as a teenager that debt is how other people control you. I didn't realize how true this was until my early 20s when I got into mild debt problems. Since then I have been majorly debt averse." - Egon88

"Mine told me if you cant pay the milkman 6pence this week, how will you pay him 12pence next week? Lesson learned. I pay my bills on time ALWAYS." - Mundane_Sail_4155

"My dad always said it's not a deal if you can't afford it. Of course he didn't have slickdeals either lol." - JasonG5

"My grandpa always said ‘Pay yourself first.’ Even when money was tight, he’d stash $5–10 in savings before paying bills. I thought it was silly but that habit built a nice cushion over time." - samdaz712

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Save on utilities and living expenses

"I hang dry my clothing whenever possible. I find it strangely relaxing to stand outside and carefully hang everything up so it has good airflow. It reminds me of helping my grandmother hang out laundry on their farm. The only thing I changed was painting the tips of my clothespins so I can see them better and don’t forget them on the line accidentally." - SpecificSkunk

"MAINTAIN and REPAIR what you already own. Lubricate, tighten, clean. Change filters. Replace belts. Flush. Air out. Condition. Resurface. Store properly. Take care of your stuff." - i_know_tofu

"I patch and repair clothes that can be repaired instead of immediately buying new. For instance, we have a comforter that has gotten holes from the washing machine - cheap materials. I'm learning the Japanese art of Shashiko to patch it over my Thanksgiving week break. I find a used item instead of buying new immediately, when our dryer went out, I bought one from an estate sale for the same price as repairing the old one would have cost (and since it was on it's 3rd repair - heavy eye roll on cheaply made crap - I don't feel so bad. I line dry a lot of things. Not everything but a lot." - LeftwingSH

"I put on hoodies and blankets and refuse to turn the heater on until the outside temps are about 45 degrees." - thedoc617

"How to drive in order to maximize your miles per gallon and reduce wear and tear on the car. Accelerate slowly and try to keep under 2 RPMs. Leave a wide berth between yourself and other cars. Anticipate traffic/stopping, then let off the gas and cruise. Don't ride the brakes." - OrdinarySubstance491

This article originally appeared last year

interruptions, conversation techniques, problem solving, psychology, behavior

Stop being interrupted.

There are times when you end up with that one friend who never lets you get a word in. They constantly cut you off or interrupt. You know they're not intentionally trying to hurt or annoy you, but you still wish you could bring it up in a way that won't cause friction or put them on the defensive.

Fortunately, a behavior researcher has a three-part tip that allows you to raise the issue naturally and without being harsh.


Former lawyer turned self-leadership expert Dr. Shadé Zahrai took to social media to share a simple technique for getting interrupters to slow down and let you finish your thoughts. Here are the three steps she recommends:

@shadezahrai

Someone keep cutting you off? Try this.

1. Identify their behavior

Zahrai recommends starting a one-on-one conversation with a chronic interrupter by saying, "When you interrupt me…" or something similar.

This approach lets you point out the behavior itself without judgment, passive aggression, or labels like calling it "rude" or "mean."

2. Express how their interruptions impact you

Zahrai says to follow up by acknowledging the interrupting behavior and using "I feel…" statements.

This shifts the focus to you rather than the interrupter, helping them understand that the behavior makes you feel annoyed, hurt, unheard, or however you feel when they cut you off mid-conversation. This approach is less accusatory because you're explaining how the interrupting behavior affects you, not criticizing the person themselves.


@boots.withthefurr

i’m sorry to people who have to have a conversation with me #foryoupage #fyp #funny #relatable

3. Give opportunity for explanation

In the final step, Zahrai recommends offering the floor to the interrupter by asking questions like, "Can you help me understand…?"

This gives the interrupter their "day in court," allowing them to take ownership and explain why they keep interrupting you. It can help you better understand where they're coming from, give them space to recognize their behavior and adjust it, or open a dialogue to establish ground rules for future conversations. Instead of sounding accusatory with a "You need to fix your behavior"–type statement, this approach puts them in control and helps prevent conflict.

Other options

Along with Zahrai's method, there are other effective tips for handling interruptions that can be incorporated into her three-step technique or used on their own.

For example, if you plan to use Zahrai's advice, it can help to make this a separate, private conversation rather than addressing it in the moment you were interrupted. This allows you to approach the discussion calmly and ensures the interrupter doesn't feel embarrassed or shamed by others who might overhear.

If you notice someone being interrupted in a conversation, you can casually give them a second chance to finish their thought by inviting them back in. For example: "Carol, you were mentioning something about ____. Could you elaborate on that?"

After you've spoken with the interrupter about their behavior, and they're still struggling, different solutions may help depending on why they interrupt. For example, if they're afraid of losing a thought, you might suggest a simple nonverbal signal, like raising a finger or hand, so you can acknowledge them and return to their point after you finish your sentence.

Regardless of the solution you and the interrupter settle on, Zahrai's tips help ensure the conversation happens with as little friction, hurt feelings, and conflict as possible.

sleep, bedtime, better sleep, how to get good sleep, consistent bedtime

The time of night you should go to bed for the best sleep, according to science.

Getting a full night of deep, restful sleep is a struggle. From waking up in the middle of the night to having trouble falling asleep, figuring out the perfect nighttime routine to lull you into sleep is crucial to wake up fully rested. One element that may be throwing off your sleep schedule is what time you go to bed. According to Apple Watch data published in the Apple Heart and Movement Study from 2025 (via Axios), the average American bedtime is 11:37 p.m.

But when is the best time to go to bed for optimal sleep? According to science, 10 p.m.


Researchers in the United Kingdom found that study participants who consistently went to bed at 10 p.m. reported the lowest risk of cardiovascular disease. Those who went to bed between 10:00 p.m. and 10:59 p.m. reported lower incidence than those who went to bed between 11:00 p.m.–11:59 p.m., and after 12:00 a.m.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Dr. Emma Lin, a board-certified pulmonologist and sleep medicine specialist and the co-founder of AimVein, tells Upworthy that the body starts preparing you for sleep even earlier.

"Around 9 to 10 p.m., the production of melatonin begins in the brain. This is the hormone that gives your body the signal that it is time to go to sleep," she says. "The body temperature drops. The heart beats slower. The breathing becomes rhythmic."

By then, the body is perfectly prepped for a good night of sleep.

"When people go to bed at 10 p.m., they sleep better and faster. Their bodies breathe better," says Dr. Lin. "Most people wake up feeling refreshed. Going to bed at this time corresponds to the body’s natural rhythm."

sleep, deep sleep, good sleep, better sleep, bedtime Woman wearing a sleeping mask asleep in bed by 10 p.m.Photo credit: Canva

Of course, going to bed at 10 p.m. may be way too late or totally unrealistic for some people. In that case, Dr. Lin stresses that what's most important is going to bed at the same time every night.

"Your body loves the same routine every day. This is what I always tell my patients. The brain works like a clock. If the clock doesn’t go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, it will be confused," she explains. "But if the clock goes to bed at the same time every day, it will know when it’s time to slow down. The melatonin will be released on schedule. The breathing will calm down. Patients with insomnia and sleep apnea will see an improvement in their sleep pattern just by having the same bed time every day."

The goal is to sleep 7–9 hours each night, which is recommended by the National Sleep Foundation. Dr. Lin adds that this amount of sleep allows the body and brain to recover completely.

sleep, phone use at night, on phone in bed, bedtime, phone use before bed Woman struggles to sleep on her phone.Photo credit: Canva

"Sleeping is cyclical. Some phases are good for the immune system. Others are good for memory. Deep phases are good for allowing the lungs and heart to rest, she says. "When people get less than 7 hours’ sleep, I see increased daytime sleepiness, increased levels of stress hormones in the body, and increased breathing difficulties in people with breathing problems like asthma or lung disease when they get inadequate sleep. Adequate sleep allows the body to heal itself."

So, if you are looking to go to bed at 10 p.m. (or a time that will be consistent for you to hit the 7-9 hours), Dr. Lin suggests you avoid these two things to get good sleep: "Exposure to bright light can turn the brain’s internal clock back. Using electronic devices at night suppresses melatonin," she says. "And drinking alcohol can exacerbate breathing problems at night. I tell all my patients that sleep is not a lazy activity. Sleep is a healing activity."