Woman simply refuses to let a female work on her car—'they belong behind the scenes'
via @centrayray
When a video caption reads, “blows my mind how people can be,” you tend to expect the worst. And though it’s practically common knowledge that misogyny is still a very real thing, watching this woman outright refuse to let another woman work on her car is still shocking. Not to mention troubling.
Nearly 2 million people on TikTok have now seen this video, which was uploaded by a woman named Rachel (@25centrayray), who works at a car dealership in the service department.
On the screen we see: “When a Karen calls and we are all female service writers…”
@5centrayray Blows my mind how people can be. ##karen ##cardealership ##serviceindustry ##serviceadvisor ##HangUpOnIt ##MakeABunchHappen
♬ original sound - Rachel
Rachel’s coworker, Autumn, simply answers the phone with a warm, professional greeting, and the woman on the other line is already displeased.
“Autumn, I didn't ask for a female, I would like to talk to a male.”
Yeah, she said that. And more.
The woman continued, “my opinion is that females don’t belong in the service department. They belong behind the scenes doing the paperwork.”
This is the part that really got me. Like, doesn’t this woman know that 99% of most jobs is paperwork? What does that even mean?
Rachel lets us know that their department is run by a female service director who oversees two dealerships and has more than 25 years of experience. So if this woman is looking for a qualified professional, she’s in luck!
But if she simply needs a male in charge, she’s asking for disappointment.
Autumn breaks the sad news that unfortunately, there are no males in the dealership’s service department. The only solution is to transfer her to the sales department, where there is a male coworker.
Which is actually a nonsolution as, predictably, the woman will get transferred back. And she does.
When the woman eventually gets back on the line, she tells Autumn that she needs to make an appointment, threatening, “I just hope there are no females on the desk when I get there.” Yikes.
Once again Autumn (the real MVP of this whole debacle) keeps her cool and politely reminds the woman that there are still no males who work in the service department.
The woman’s reply? “Oh God, that is totally messed up. I need my oil changed but there better be a male mechanic that I can talk to.”
Rachel lets us know that this woman is something of a regular customer, and has “some issue every visit,” but this goes beyond just being a difficult patron.
The woman then says that she doesn’t "want a female working on [her] car” because last time she came, it took a hour to do a job that should have taken five minutes. That because an “incompetent” female failed to page her at a reasonable time, she had to “track down a male” to get it sorted.
Rachel tells us what actually happened though.
“The time she speaks of is the appointment she refused to reschedule due to our shop getting hit with Covid and being down four techs so the shop was behind, and was told of the extended wait time.”
It’s always a best practice to avoid judgment and take a middle approach, but as a woman watching this, I can’t help but be gutted.
As one person wrote, “I will never understand female hating other females,” and, well, yeah. Hate is what it feels like.
Other people in the comments were quick to respond to this abhorrent behavior, including a woman who wrote, “as a female mechanic I’m livid.”
“This is repulsive,” another person added.
Others had more biting (yet pretty funny) responses:
"Ma'am, did you get your husband's approval first before you called us? I’d like a handwritten permission and notarized before we can continue..."
“You should have told her that her husband needs to call to schedule the appointment to make sure it's the right service being requested.”
To the dealership’s credit: The owner, rightfully “shocked and outraged” after seeing this video, had the woman “fired as a customer.”
You would think—especially in this day and age—that our society could wrap their heads around the fact that yes, women are completely capable of doing more than “behind the scenes” jobs.
But rest assured, if this woman holds this opinion, others do too. It’s heartbreaking and infuriating all at the same time.
On the other hand TikTok is an amazing platform for exposing outdated thinking and challenging obsolete societal norms. One of our staff writers, Tod Perry, wrote a few months ago about a female mechanic who was told “she didn’t belong” by a male coworker. As the headline suggests, she proved him wrong.
As more and more women pursue opportunities, do kickass work and succeed, it’s bound to piss a few people off, who somehow view equality as some sort of threat to tradition. But in the end, that’s their problem.
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- A female mechanic proves her male coworker wrong - Upworthy ›
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.