Does our bread really need to be this complicated?
Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.
Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.
The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.
I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.
Clayton’s videos make a huge impact on people. His latest “Dinner With Dad” had 3 million views. Many share being brought to tears, for different reasons.
Happy Sunday❤️. Is school out for you??♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits
Some are reminded of what they once had with their own fathers.
“I’m never gonna have something like this again,” wrote one person.
Others lament what they will never get.
“I would die for my parents to say they are proud of me just once,” wrote another.
Most fully embrace Clayton as a stand-in father, sharing their personal triumphs, challenges, and insecurities.
One person shared, “Hi dad, I got into volleyball.”
Another vented, “Dad…I can’t sleep thinking about how scared I am of real life.”
Channeling Rob Kennedy, the creator of the “Dad How Do I?” YouTube series, Clayton also shares practical skills one might ask their father, such as how to tie a tie.
How to tie a tie!♬ original sound - Summer Clayton
Or shave. Although he says you do it the same way for every part of your body … I would double check with mom on that.
With his videos, Clayton exudes unconditional love and support, helping others feel accepted. In the video below, he happily offers his chips to kids who are straight and those who come out. And with both, he jokingly snatches the chip back. If that’s not dad behavior, I don’t know what is.
He’ll even tuck you in after you fall asleep to your favorite show. Pure sweetness.
POV:Dad teaches you to Shave🙂♬ original sound - Summer Clayton
Yep, Clayton gets dad jokes, in the best way. Like the time when he just couldn’t remember what special day it was … oh right, it’s your birthday. Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck. Then he presents three different cakes. It’s cheesy and delightful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🎉♬ gymnopédie no.1 - Edits
Clayton might not be a biological father (yet), but he makes for one great dad. It’s lovely to see the power of the internet being harnessed in such a positive and uplifting way. Thanks to TikTok, it’s never too late to have dinner with dad.
I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Inattentive Type about three years ago—I was a fully functioning adult, married with children before finding out that my brain worked a bit differently. Of course I've known that I functioned a bit differently than my friends since childhood. The signs were there early on, but in the '80s diagnosing a girl with ADHD just wasn’t a thing that happened.
Much of the early criteria for ADHD was written based on how it presented in males, more specifically, white male children, and I was neither. Women like me are being diagnosed more and more lately and it’s likely because social media has connected us in a way that was lacking pre- doom scrolling days.
With the help of social media, women can connect with others who share the same symptoms that were once a source of shame. They can learn what testing to ask for and how to advocate for themselves while having an army of supporters that you’ve never met to encourage you along the way. A lot of women that are diagnosed later in life don’t want medication, they just want an answer. Finally having an answer is what nearly brought me to tears. I wasn’t lazy and forgetful because I didn’t care. I had a neurological disorder that severely impacted my ability to pay attention to detail and organize tasks from most important to least. Just having the answer was a game changer, but hearing that untreated ADHD can cause unchecked anxiety, which I had in spades, I decided to listen to my doctor and give medication a try.
About 30 minutes after my first pill I was actually able to sit still. My brain slowed down and thought one thing at a time. I was suddenly able to finish the tasks that I started in a few minutes instead of hours, or not getting done at all. I remember calling my older brother and crying into the phone telling him that for the first time in my life I was able to not only sit and create a list, but mark stuff off said list. The excitement over my new found executive functioning skills wrapped in a peach colored diamond shaped pill was short lived. For a week out of the month, the pill did nothing. My brain went back to ping ponging from idea to idea, subject to subject. Things for work went unfinished or were messily completed in a last minute hurry. It was beyond frustrating, and no one had an answer as to why my period affected my medication.
My psychiatrist at the time suggested that I was building up a tolerance, but I took “medication vacations” and really only took it during the work week. It wasn’t until I reached out in a group specifically for moms with ADHD out of sheer exasperation that I got answers. Comment after comment were women saying, “my meds don’t work when I’m on my period either.” So many women didn’t have an answer as to why, it was just something that they’ve accepted that comes along with being a woman with ADHD. A week out of the month, your medication that literally helps you function is essentially reduced to being a Tic-Tac. It has no effect, and the symptoms of ADHD are cranked up to 100 that week. It was the most fascinating, bizarre and infuriating revelation. Why isn’t this talked about more?
orange and white pillsPhoto by Christina Victoria Craft on Unsplash
It seems that women are left to either struggle with thinking they’ve lost their minds or that their medication needs to be increased, when a lot of the time neither is true. In fact, after doing a bit of research I found a few articles written about the effects of estrogen on ADHD symptoms, but had difficulty finding one that was peer reviewed. Most articles were written by therapists and ADHD coaches that have been doing their own research into the matter to help their clients that menstruate.
One of the few peer reviewed articles found was by Chris Iliades, MD and peer reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH. In the article, Iliades notes that “The hormone estrogen affects receptors in the brain that release the naturally occurring chemicals serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. When estrogen levels drop during the weeks before a menstrual period or during the years before menopause, so does the level of these brain chemicals.” He goes on to explain, “because symptoms of ADHD are affected by many of these same brain chemicals, it stands to reason that women with ADHD are more sensitive to estrogen.”
The breakdown of how these chemicals work in conjunction with estrogen, which fluctuates throughout your menstrual cycle, is indeed interesting. But why are articles highlighting this issue outliers? Why aren’t doctors who prescribe these medications more forthcoming with this information? It makes you wonder if doctors are aware at all or if the biological makeup of women and girls taking ADHD medication is an afterthought that medicine has to catch up with. If it is an afterthought, there are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of menstruating people who would love more research done on this—taking a weeks long vacation from work and daily life isn’t feasible. Here’s hoping for more research and doctors like Chris Iliades to tell us what to expect when ADHD and periods meet.
As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.
How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.
One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.
And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?
In some ways, that era was simpler. We weren't bombarded with information and opinions about every issue in the world 24/7 and had the freedom to just be kids. At the same time, I personally have no desire to go back. (My straight, fine hair was not made for the '80s.)
However, one dad is bringing full-on nostalgia to millions of Gen Xers with a viral TikTok he made about sharing his '80s childhood with his 8-year-old son. Justin H (who goes by @shadyraro on TikTok) included photos and descriptions of things all '80s kids will recognize and it's like hopping into a time machine.
Like, the unwound cassette tape struggle was genuinely real. Grab a pencil, start winding and pray. "The A-Team"? Totally. Streetlight curfew? Yep.
The 80’s was the best decade #80s #80skid #oldschool #genx #parents #funny #family #foryou #fyp
The video has been viewed more than 10 million times this week, with commenters neck-deep in their feelings about their childhood flashbacks.
"I miss them days, technology has taken away so much," wrote one commenter.
"Miss the 80s era but unfortunately us kids were the remote control," wrote another. (So true. Changing the channel was exercise.)
"The 80's cannot be explained...it was an experience...a complete vibe all its own...and if you missed it I'm so sorry for you!" wrote another.
And if you feel like there were some things missing, no worries. There's a Part Two:
The 80’s was the best decade Part 2 #80s #80skid #oldschool #genx #parents #funny #family #foryou #fyp
The ashtray in the back of the car seat! The phone booth! The Walkman! The overhead projector. So my childhood. I can practically taste the Tang and Twinkies.
Kids today will never know the ugly beauty of growing up in the '80s, but someday they'll have their own tales to tell their kids that they'll look on with fondness and nostalgia. "We used to spend hours building things with little digital blocks in Minecraft…"
There's never been anything like the '80s and there never will be again. Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Justin H.