+
More

This reversible birth control for dudes is like a temporary snip-snip in your pants.

A new male contraceptive makes fertility as simple as flipping a switch.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that having sex and being a cyborg are both pretty awesome.

The only problem is that one of them involves the risk of creating, you know, a living human child that is dependent upon you for its continued existence.

And that's where the machines come in.


GIF from "Doctor Who."

These two amazing things have been brought together in a way that prevents those ... unintended consequences of sex.

Created by a German construction worker, the Bimek SLV is hailing itself as "The New Contraception for Men." All it takes is the literal flip of a switch, and you can be reproduction-free!

Well, that and a mildly invasive surgical procedure to implant said switch in your scrotum. But once that's done, you're good to go! (And go, and go, and...)

GIF from Bimek SLV/Vimeo.

It's basically a built-in vasectomy that you can *ahem* turn on.

The Bimek SLV is about the size of a gummy bear, which is exactly what you want to think about when you're talking about an implant in your scrotum. The valve attaches to the spermatic cords, which carry sperm from the testes to the seminal vesicle, where your little microscopic tadpoles mix with seminal fluid and prep for delivery. Like this:

GIF from Bimek SLV/Vimeo.

But when you flip the switch of the Bimek SLV, it stops the sperm from making it past the scrotum. This leaves you free to ejaculate to your heart's desire (or your partner's desire!), but without any sperm in your semen. Like this:

Sorry, little spermy dudes; you ain't goin' nowhere! Mwahahaha! GIF from Bimek SLV/Vimeo.

Just like a vasectomy, the Bimek SLV has a Pearl Index rating of 0.1, which means it's 99.9% effective. For added security, it also includes a safety button that you have to hold when turning it "off" — so you don't accidentally bump the button when you're bumpin' buttons. Once that's done, you should be firing a full load the next time you're ready to go. And then you can switch it back on whenever you want to go sterile again!

Technically, there is a brief waiting period after flipping the switch to allow the sperm to fully flush out of your system before you can be confidently sterile. Bimek recommends "up to three months or about 30 ejaculations." (And no, I don't understand that math either; if you ask me, it just sounds like a challenge.)

You mean I only gotta go 30 times? Challenge accepted. See you in a week. GIF from "The Empire Strikes Back."

And all it takes is a half-hour outpatient surgery!

So the question remains: Why aren't there more male contraceptives?

The implied sub-question being: Why is the onus always on the owner of the ovaries, even though the penis party is still half-responsible?

Statistics have shown that educating people about their sexy-time options is a lot more effective at preventing unwanted pregnancies than trying to outright dissuade them from making sweet, sweet whoopie. As it stands, Planned Parenthood lists 20 different kinds of contraceptives for women.

For guys? There are five, including abstinence and the good ol' fashioned pull-out method (which is ... generally not recommended).

GIF from "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D."

Over the years, women have tried everything from potatoes to crocodile dung and honey in hopes of having some modicum of control over if and when they get pregnant. Meanwhile, us dudes are all like "ughhhh I don't wanna roll the little rubber ring on my junk, it totally wrecks the mood!"

Sorry, fellas. It's the least we can do.

If only Cyborg had a scrotal implant, maybe his, um, burst of energy wouldn't disappear. GIF from "Teen Titans."

But if a cybernetic scrotal implant is not on your to-do list, there are other birth control advancements just over the horizon.​

An Indonesian herb known as gandarusa produces an enzyme that bonds to the individual sperm and inhibits their ability to penetrate the egg. It was originally used to reduce stress with the side effect of temporary infertility ... until someone realized that might not be such a bad thing.

With a quick gel injection straight into the vas deferens, Vasalgel works similarly to the Bimek SLV by blocking the sperm from making its way into the semen. This is known as Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance, or RISUG, because all it takes is another injection to make it magically disappear (if you consider a needle to the groin "magical").

Then there's the "Clean Sheets Pill," so named because, well, it keeps the sheets clean by relaxing the ejaculatory muscles, thereby preventing the release of any semen. It's the same orgasmic pleasure but with none of the mess! And also diminished risk of STIs (which they should totally use as their catchphrase if they don't have one yet; if you're reading this, call me).

There's also one experimental method that involves injecting gold nanorods into your testicles to somethingsomethingscience and kill the sperm, if that's more your speed.

GIF from "Austin Powers 3: Goldmember."

The fact is, we can't stop people from having sex — nor should we want to. But we can help them find safer ways to do it.​

While most of these male birth control methods are still in the clinical trial stage, the future is still looking bright.

And it's about time. Imagine how much more progress we could have made by now if we men had spent less time trying to control women's access to birth control pills and focused our energies on our own parts instead. 

After all, we've never had a problem paying attention to our needs during intercourse. So why don't we extend that to what happens after?

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dadPatrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.


The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.
Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Badass bikers show up for abused children, offering advocacy and protection

They become an abused child's "biker family," and they let the child—and everyone else—know that NO ONE messes with their family.

When you are a child who has been abused by people who are supposed to protect you, how do you feel safe?

That question is the heart of Bikers Against Child Abuse International (B.A.C.A.), an organization dedicated to creating "a safer environment for abused children." With specific training and extensive security checks, the frequently big and burly members of B.A.C.A. serve as protectors of chid abuse survivors, giving vulnerable children people to call on when they feel scared, and even showing up in court when a child asks them to.

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Igor Ferreira on Unsplash

Florida principal fired after showing statue of "David."

If you ask most teachers why they went into education, they'll share that it had nothing to do with the money and everything to do with their passion for teaching. Even with rapid changes in curriculum and policies, teachers who remain in the classroom are lovers of education and are doing their best to help kids learn.

Hope Carrasquilla, the former principal of Florida's Tallahassee Classical School, was one of those teachers who simply enjoyed teaching. As the principal, Carrasquilla was required to teach two classes. During her sixth grade lesson about Renaissance art, which is also a requirement of the school, Carrasquilla showed a picture of Michelangelo's "David" statue.

According to the Tallahassee Democrat, three parents complained about their children being shown the picture. Two of those parents were mostly upset that there wasn't sufficient notice given before the photo of the sculpture was shown. The third parent reportedly complained that the statue of the Biblical figure was pornographic.

Keep ReadingShow less

When Qatar's Mutaz Essa Barshim and Italy's Gianmarco Tamberi both landed their high jumps at 2.37 meters, they were in the battle for Olympic gold. But when both jumpers missed the next mark—the Olympic record of 2.39 meters—three times each, they were officially tied for first place.

In such a tie, the athletes would usually do a "jump-off" to determine who wins gold and who wins silver. But as the official began to explain the options to Barshim and Tamberi, Barshim asked, "Can we have two golds?"

Keep ReadingShow less
via YouTube

These days, we could all use something to smile about, and few things do a better job at it than watching actor Christopher Walken dance.

A few years back, some genius at HuffPo Entertainment put together a clip featuring Walken dancing in 50 of his films, and it was taken down. But it re-emerged in 2014 and the world has been a better place for it.

Keep ReadingShow less

English metal detector hobbyist finds a real treasure near Nottingham.

A retired merchant navy engineer in England has found a treasure that would have made his country’s most popular folk hero proud. Graham Harrison, a 64-year-old metal detector enthusiast, discovered a gold signet ring that once belonged to the Sheriff of Nottingham.

The discovery was made on a farm in Rushcliffe, Nottinghamshire, 26.9 miles from Sherwood Forest. The forest is known worldwide for being the mythological home of Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men. A central road that traversed the forest was notorious in Medieval times for being an easy place for bandits to rob travelers going to and from London.

Keep ReadingShow less