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This Guy Won An Oscar For A Great Movie. Then He Had Something To Say About Equality.

In 2009, screenwriter, producer, and director Dustin Lance Black won an Academy Award for the film “Milk,” the story of gay rights pioneer Harvey Milk. In a touching 90-second speech, he gave folks who have been struggling with equal rights in this country some hope and inspiration. That was five years ago — look how far our country has come since then! But we still have a lot of progress to make.

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A 3-word method can help you make relaxed small talk that doesn't feel like an interview

Injecting some personality can make things a lot more fun.

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

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Teachers spill the worst places they've run into students and it's hilariously horrifying

"As my colonoscopy was just about to begin..."

Image via Canva/Boast

Teachers share horror stories of seeing students outside the classroom.

Teachers hold down the classroom in front of their students five days a week. And once the bell rings, they head home to lead full lives with a first name. For students, seeing a teacher outside school has always been demystifying, but teachers say it's an equally nerve-wracking experience—especially once their students have graduated from their classroom.

A teacher named Natalie took to social media and asked other teachers to share their stories of encounters with former students. "Fellow teachers," she wrote, "where is the absolute worst place, most horrific place you've run into a former student?"

Her fellow teachers indeed rose to the call and, whether to commiserate or share a laugh, hilarious and horrifying tales of seeing former students "in the wild" came spilling in.

teacher, teacher tiktok, teachers of tiktok, teacher stories, teachers outside school TikTok · NatalieKnows www.tiktok.com

In an interview with TODAY, Natalie shared hers: "When I was pregnant with my third child, I ran into a former male student at the OBGYN’s office,” she told the publication. "Of course, it’s natural to see people who are pregnant at the same time—but we both know what got us there! That was the awkward part."

She also added, "My friends and I say that we never want to see a former student in a medical situation...because students tend to have the mindset that teachers aren’t real humans." Well, buckle up, kids. These are teachers' most shocking and funny stories.

teacher, student, teacher student, teacher stories, teachers Tv Land Running GIF by Teachers on TV Land Giphy

"One time I was pooping at Walmart and a 3rd grade student popped her head under the stall and said 'I saw your shoes and thought that was you, Mrs. Ware'."

"Me and my college professor [were] locked up in jail over the weekend together 😂."

"As my colonoscopy was just about to begin. . . 'Hi Mr. K. You were my favorite teacher, I'll be assisting today.' I said, 'Thanks, enjoy the view!' And then I promptly went to sleep."

"Therapy. He was on his way out as I was on my way in. 🙃"

"Waffle House at 2:30 am, I teach Pre-K."

"I was getting a bikini wax. I teach seniors and covid led to an entire year and a half of faces I never saw. Halfway through the wax my technician tells me that because of me, she's doing great in college math........ 🙃"

"I have a bright yellow car so my students would come to class the next day like 'I know you were at the grocery store at 8:32 PM I saw your car in the parking lot'."

"5 years after she graduated- she was my labor and delivery nurse!! It was awkward for me for about 30 secs then I was just like ‘Let’s do this, Kendra!’"

"i ran into a student on a flight home. from Japan. i live in Florida 😭."

"When my hand was on the Smoke Shop’s door handle and I hear 'Hey Ms. ***' 🤡."

"Handed me my birth control at CVS, while actually still in my class that year. I drove away and immediately googled pharmacy tech minimum ages. 💀"

"When I was a teacher, I had a CURRENT student (16 yrs old) attempt to use his fake ID at the bar where I was moonlighting."

"I’m at Central Market, it’s Friday night, I am buying 3 bottles of wine and some premade goodies and the kid checking me out is one of my students. He holds up two of the bottles and gives me a look until I inform him he is the reason I am buying the wine."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"My former student gave me a mammogram."

"At a free Glorilla concert mind you I taught 3rd grade."

"Not a teacher but I’m a mental health counselor at a high school and one of the seniors saw me at an anime convention dressed as Pennywise…"

"My DMs."

"My massage therapist was a former eighth grade student I had. I didn’t recognize him as it was ten years later. He introduced himself after and I died."

"literally saw me through the front window of my house and ran up to say hello 😭 i was watching tv in my pajamas."

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These 4 words can keep a conversation flowing forever no matter how bad you are at small talk

There's literally no way to screw this up.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.

conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me of…”

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.”

Option 5 (Place you lived): “It reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.”


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using “It reminds me of…” opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The “You” in the story could have responded with, “Yeah, it sure is rainy,” and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the “reminds me of” into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using “this reminds me of…” is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. “It reminds me of…” is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


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American orders Olive Garden-style chicken parm in Italy and the waiter's response is perfect

He looks so confused.

via Drburtoni/Flickr and Boxer_Bob/Flickr

A waiter talking with his hands.

One of the great things about America is that we have a relatively young culture, so many of the foods that we eat were brought over from other countries. That makes America a great place to try out all the different types of food from around the world.

However, we also like to put our own stamp on staples from around the globe that give the American version its own unique flair. Some foods that we claim originated overseas were actually first made right here in the U.S. of A. For example, chimichangas, which can be found in many Mexican restaurants, actually originated in the state of Arizona. Crab Rangoon, a popular “Chinese” dish, was actually invented in San Francisco, and spaghetti and meatballs were never a thing in Italy.

TikTok creator Gabby Donahue posted a video that’s the perfect example of how some ethnic foods get remixed once they become popular in the States. In a video with over 7 million views, her father shows a waiter in Italy a photo of chicken parmesan from Olive Garden so he can order it at the restaurant. The waiter's reaction is an excellent example of someone trying to be polite while he cannot believe what he is seeing.

“My Boston Irish father trying to order a Google image of the Olive Garden chicken parm in Italy,” Donahue wrote in the text overlay.

@gabbydonahuee

@Olive Garden ‘s biggest fan 😭😭😭😭 #italy #cultureshock #chickenparm #olivegarden


When the father showed the picture to the waiter, he seemed a bit confused about the image. “Only in the States,” he said. “It doesn’t exist in Italy.” The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing: “It doesn’t exist in Italy?”

“I don’t know what it is…on the pasta?” the waiter said, trying to make sense of the chicken breast smothered in cheese and sauce. The waiter gave his final verdict while holding his chin: “No. That’s horrible.”

“Horrible? Wow. Look at that. That doesn’t,” the father laughed. “That looks good… but,” the waiter shrugged off the father. “It does look good,” the father continued. “It tastes good. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna mail you some. I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay? Olive Garden chicken, I’m gonna search,” the waiter said, walking away from the table.


The commenters had a field day analyzing the waiter’s body language. “‘No, that looks good’ while looking completely disgusted was the most Italian reaction ever,” one commenter wrote. “Bro remembered halfway through his disgust that he’s at work,” another added.

It’s not crazy that an American would think that chicken parmesan is an Italian dish; after all, it’s served in most Italian-American restaurants. However, according to Paesana, it was created in America by the Italian diaspora.

“In the Old World, that’s Italy prior to the Italian diaspora—the large-scale emigration of Italians from Italy to America—proteins like chicken were not widely available," according to an article on the site. "As such, the prototypical chicken parmigiana was actually made with breaded, fried slices of eggplant in place of chicken for a dish called melanzane alla Parmigiana."


Even though chicken parmesan didn’t originate in the old country, Pasquale Sciarappa, a popular Italian-born food influencer living in America, has no problem cooking the dish.

"'That’s not Italian!’ I hear this every time I share a dish like Chicken Parmigiana. And you know what? They’re right — it’s not something you’d traditionally find in Italy. But you know what else is true? It’s Italian-American. It was born in immigrant kitchens — from people who left Italy, landed in the U.S., and made do with what they had. They took inspiration from dishes like melanzane alla parmigiana and recreated comfort from memory using what was available,” he wrote.

It’s understandable that an American could go to Italy without knowing that something he’d had in Italian restaurants wasn’t actually from Italy. It’s understandable for an Italian server to balk at a photo of a dish served in an American restaurant that you’d find in a shopping mall.

But we should all agree that one of the wonderful things about American culture is that it's an amalgamation of different cultures stirred around in the same pot, and if that means we get a fresh variation on the burrito, a new way to eat Chinese crab, or a tasty piece of chicken where eggplant used to be, the more the better.

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Mom accidentally sets timer instead of alarm and has whole family ready for school at 2 a.m.

"That momma is tired. She needs a special day for herself."

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Alarm clock snafu cause mom to accidentally wake the whole family up at 2 a.m. for school.

No one prepares you for how your life will change when you become a parent of school-aged children. I was shocked to suddenly find myself waking up at 6 a.m. for breakfast and getting ready when my oldest started elementary school. At 6 a.m., it's generally still dark outside and for all intents and purposes, it feels like the dead of night.

So it's no wonder one mom had a little snafu with her alarm clock and didn't even notice.

A mom who goes by Tanis on social media reports in a recent video that instead of setting an alarm for 5:50 a.m., she accidentally set a timer for 5 hours and 50 minutes. It's a relatively easy mistake to make if you're using your iPhone for everything, as most of us are.

When the alarm went off, mom rushed into action, waking the kids, rousing her husband, throwing breakfast together, and getting everyone dressed. Parents know that the morning routine often runs on auto-pilot. Your brain is barely on, but your body knows what needs to be done.

It wasn't until the whole family was standing in the kitchen, all ready for the day, that Tanis realized it was 2:30 in the morning.

She and her husband had a good laugh, while the kids look less than thrilled. In the end, she tells them to just go back to bed and "sleep in your clothes."

@tanis___

everyone went back to sleep in their clothes… we woke back up at 6:30 & my kids had trust issues getting to school saying there was still stars in the sky and to make sure it was time 🤣 mom fail. #funny #momfail #schoolthings

The video went massively viral, racking up 20 million views on TikTok. Parents everywhere could relate.

Many saw the hilarious incident as a clear sign that Tanis needs a day off, which checks out. Parenting burnout is running high and moms and dads are juggling way more responsibilities than they can handle. Sometimes, that contributes to little mental errors like this one.

Here are some of the responses to the video:

"Its honestly a big sign she needs a break"

"That woman needs a spa day"

"That momma is tired. She needs a special day for herself"

But the overwhelming sentiment from most viewers was respect and admiration, not only for Tanis' leadership in the household, but the family dynamic as a whole:

@tanis___

Replying to @🌄 top funniest comment. I had to respond, now please let me know which cruise line I should save up for bc I’m definitely gonna continue saving for that. I need recommendations 🫶🏻 thank you everyone! #funnycomments #viralvideo #funny #cruise

"That’s not a fail, that’s elite-level leadership.Your army follows orders without question even at 2:30am."

"Shows you how the whole family relies on mom. You deserve credit mom"

"Hair curled... kids up... husband up... breakfast made... you ARE A ROCKSTARRRR "

"The fact that you guys were laughing and not fighting shows that you are a great family. No crying from the kids, no anger from your husband, honestly I’m jealous"

It's true what they say about families: the best stories and memories usually come from disasters like this one.

Gil Greengross writes for Psychology Today that painful, even tragic moments, often become funny to us over time. One reason is that being able to laugh at a difficult moment helps us cope with the difficult emotions of it. Parenting, in particular, can be extremely difficult on a day-to-day basis so having a strong sense of humor is immensely helpful.

It's also true that the days that go as planned, where the morning routine goes off without a hitch, run together and go by in a blur. When disaster strikes, it becomes something unique and memorable that the whole family can bond over—even if you don't find it funny at the time.

Still, it's awesome that Tanis and her family were such good sports about their rude awakening. Let's hope they all get a much deserved chance to sleep in one day real soon.

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