These neighbors hung up 40 rainbow flags when a gay couple's house was vandalized.
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." — Margaret Mead
After a restful vacation, Cari and Lauri Ryding returned to a disturbing sight at their home in South Natick, Massachusetts — their porch had been egged, and their rainbow pride flag was gone.
"We were both disillusioned and confused. We didn't want to believe that it was an attack on us," Cari wrote in an email.
The couple had gotten their pride flag several weeks earlier from Rainbow Peace Flag Project — an organization that distributes rainbow flags with the word "PEACE" on them to the Natick and MetroWest areas for free in the name of peace.
Cari and Lauri's front door today. Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
The flag was meant to be a symbol of love and solidarity in the wake of the tragic Pulse shooting in Orlando in June but had inspired an act of vandalism — presumably from someone with homophobic views.
Cari has lived on the same street in South Natick for 23 years. Even when she separated from her husband and later married Lauri, she always felt she had unwavering support from her neighbors, which made the incident all the more difficult to comprehend.
Posted by Lauri Ryding on Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Their neighbors, however, refused to let that act of vandalism be the end of the story.
They decided to show Cari and Lauri that they would always stand behind them. Their neighbors immediately contacted the Rainbow Peace Flag organization and ordered numerous flags.
One by one, the rainbow flags began popping up all over the neighborhood — until 40 houses were showcasing them proudly.
Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
"We were not surprised that the neighbors responded, but we were surprised by how many did. People that we didn't know well got into action," wrote Cari.
According to Cari, local kids delivered the flags to all their neighbors on their bikes, stopping by Cari and Lauri's last. The couple gave them a tearful "thank you."
Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
This colorful act of solidarity proves hate is no match for love in small communities like this. It's also a shining example of what the rainbow flag is meant to do.
"Displaying pride out in the open can be risky. It can lead to heartbreaking rejection. The Rainbow Peace Flag Project is a way to invite and empower neighbors to become allies," Ian Mevorach, co-founder of the Rainbow Peace Flag Project, wrote in an email.
Any fear Cari and Lauri might've felt as a result of this hateful act of vandalism was quelled by the ever-growing support they've received.
Several religious organizations are standing behind them, and more and more people in the Natick area and beyond are ordering rainbow flags to show they're part of the unified front. The response has filled the couple with an overwhelming hope for a better future for the LGBTQ community.
Photo by Cari and Lauri Ryding.
And to think it all started when a few small-town people refused to let their neighbors be knocked down.
As Cari put it succinctly, "The actions of a few people can change things, and inspire the world."
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."