Teacher shares the beautiful reason a 6th grader rubbed his necklace when talking to people
“It hung on a leather string around his neck. You could tell it was really worn or used.”
A child holding hands together in a position of prayer
Middle schoolers aren't exactly known for their kindness and thoughtfulness, at least in popular culture. The standard image of tweens is a toxic combo of selfishness, hubris and insecurity that leads to all manner of foolishness.
But as someone who's taught in middle schoolclassrooms and raised three kids through that stage, I can attest this age group gets an unnecessarily bad rap. Sure, middle schoolers can be moody and awkward and immature, but they can also be thoughtful and kind and justice-minded. They are beginning to hone their perception of life's big issues and figure out their place in the world. They usually care more than they appear to and are often more compassionate than we give them credit for.
At this age, we can also see the evidence of a loving upbringing in a kid's character. Such was the case with one of Matt Eicheldinger's students, a sixth grader who always rubbed his necklace with his fingers when he talked to people. When Eicheldinger asked the student why he did it, his answer spoke volumes.
In an Instagram video, Eicheldinger shared that the student was from another country, he was friendly and personable and he always wore a green square necklace, which he would rub whenever he was talking to someone.
One day, Eicheldinger asked the student if he would tell him about the necklace. The sixth grader said it was made of folded paper containing prayers for him from his loved ones—prayers for peace, love and kindness. If you're guessing he rubbed the necklace because he was thinking of those who were praying for him, you'd be half right. The full reason is a beautiful example of compassionate selflessness.
Watch Eicheldinger explain:
It would have been sweet enough if the kid were just drawing on his family's prayers for strength or confidence, but the fact that he was wishing for others to have the good things he himself had experienced is so heartwarming.
"My grandma used to make us those to wear too… it is called a tahveez … thank you for sharing!" wrote commenter eduwaseem. "Brings back memories of my childhood! I don’t wear one anymore but I did as a kid. Never thought to rub it while talking to others though. What a sweet kid to do that! Melts my heart!"
"Sooo beautiful!! I once had a student who made the sign of the cross every time when heard a siren," shared mel_13_mel. "She told me that she would stop whatever she was doing and say a prayer that everyone would be alright, including the emergency workers who might be witness to something really difficult. That always stuck with me. Such a kind, generous and simple thing for an 8-year-old to do."
"Well I wasn’t prepared to tear up this fine Monday morning. What a sweetheart of a young man, 💙" wrote kendrasmom724.
"I am an elementary school teacher. I teach in an area where the majority of the families are immigrants," wrote fullmoonshenanigans. "They have some of the most heart-wrenching, courageous,, & beautiful stories. I’ve always wondered, how can I share these stories with the rest of the world? How can I share so that people can have a better understanding of what immigrants go through, and why? How can I teach these people to have empathy & compassion towards all living beings?"
One way to teach empathy and compassion is through modeling those qualities, and this student gives us a wonderful example of what being a compassionate role model looks like. Kids may learn a lot from us, but as this story shows, we have a lot we can learn from them, too.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.