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Swim coach's reaction when toddler tries to kiss him is a masterclass in teaching boundaries

People are impressed with how expertly and professionally he handled it.

Representative photo credit: Canva

It takes a village, as they say.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they're good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child's life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother's face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what's okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—"Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!" the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, "No, no kissy. No kissy 'cause I'm coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. "Okay, hey! High five!" he said, while holding up his hand. "High five 'cause we're all done!" She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Watch:

His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

"So sweet... I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it's so cute but you do have to tell them "no" because it's an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!"

"On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses."

"The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example."

"It sounds like he's got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it's important to gently guide them in understanding what's suitable."

boundaries, gif, new girl, setting boundaries, kids, adultsJake Johnson Fox GIF by New GirlGiphy

"I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole."

"The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!"

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it's frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it's helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn't all fall on the parents.

In an article titled "Teaching Kids About Boundaries: Why empathy and self awareness play a major role," Child Mind Institute includes a helpful video about teaching boundaries to children, and it confirms that the coach handled things in exactly the right way. In a section entitled "Rules work both ways," the institute notes that when people model their boundaries, it's important for children to empathetically listen. "People are in charge of their own bodies," writes Rae Jacobson, author of the article and senior editor at the Child Mind Institute, "and it's not okay to touch them if they don't want you to, just like it's not okay for someone to touch [you] in a way you don't like." By calmly modeling his boundaries, the swim coach gave his young swimmer a gentle but clear message about what was and was not okay and embodied both empathy and autonomy for her in a way she can understand and mirror when she's older.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

This article originally appeared in January. It has been updated.

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Identity

99-year-old swimmer just shattered the centenarian world record in the 400m freestyle

Betty Brussel didn't even start swimming competitively until her late-60s.

Jim De Ramos/Canva

Did you know that swim categories go beyond age 100?

It's common knowledge that as we age, our bodies change, and at some point, we aren't able to do the things we used to do.

But somebody forgot to tell Betty Brussel that.

In January of 2024, the 99-year-old Dutch-Canadian swimmer shattered the world record for the 400-meter freestyle swim at a swim meet in Saanich, British Columbia, completing the event in 12 minutes and 50.3 seconds—nearly four minutes faster than the previous record in the 100 to 104-year-old age group. (Though Brussel is currently 99, swimming competitions go by year of birth to determine age categories.)

Swimming may be low-impact, but it's not easy. The fact that there is a 100 to 104-year-old age group for swimming is a testament to some of our elders' fitness and stamina. Even just climbing onto the platform at an entire century old is a feat worthy of acknowledgment. Breaking not only the 400-meter freestyle record but also the 50-meter breaststroke and 50-meter backstroke records as well is a whole other level.

And get this: Brussel didn't start competing until she was in her late 60s, which makes her record-breaking swims all the more impressive.

"When I’m racing, I don’t think about anything," she told Guardian Sport. "Nothing. I just count the laps, so that I know how many I have left. I always try to find a pace that I can sustain – you’re asking a lot from your body in these races. And on the last lap, well, I give it everything I have."

Brussel learned to swim in the canals of the Netherlands, where she grew up. But according to the Washington Post, as the second eldest of 12 children, Brussel was tasked with looking after her younger siblings, so she wasn't able to pursue the sports she was interested in such as swimming, skating and gymnastics. In fact, she didn't even take up swimming as a serious hobby until after she retired in 1982. She entered her first competition nine years later, at 68 years old.

For the past 30 years, Brussel has competed in swim meets all around the world. She still drives herself to swim practices twice a week and walks for 45 minutes on the days she doesn't swim. The only physical help she needs at this point is a hearing aid and a hand to give her some stability while climbing up onto the swim platform.

According to her swim coach, Brussel doesn't really care much about the world records she's broken, which are plentiful,. She just really enjoys swimming.

“I love being in a pool and gliding through the water,” she told the Globe and Mail. “I feel better when I get out than when I go in. Swimming is my love. It makes me forget all of my worries and I feel great.”

Brussel is a widow of 11 years and lives with her rescue cat, Mika. She has three children, ages 69, 72 and 74. She competed in five events at the Saanich swim meet and was recovered and feeling energized within an hour. She will turn 100 in July.

A documentary about Brussel and her extraordinary swimming accomplishments is in the works, tentatively due to come out in the fall of 2024.

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Joy

Heart-stopping video shows the moment a hero dad saves neighbor's child from drowning

Neighbor of the year

Photo by Lavi Perchik on Unsplash

Neighbor saves boy drowning in pool.

Most people don’t wake up and wonder how they can become a hero that day. In most instances, it’s about being in the right place at the right time and acting on instinct. That’s what happened when Kansas resident Tom Westerhaus was alerted by his 12-year-old daughter, Maddox, that their neighbor’s preschooler had fallen into the pool. The dad, who had been trained as a lifeguard in his youth, went directly to his training, even though it had been years since he took the required classes. He dived in and was able to pull the 4-year-old out of the pool and immediately begin chest compressions. The child had been submerged for more than three minutes.

The boy's mother, Alexis Rigney, was living many parents' worst nightmare. The mom-of-two said she was taking care of her 4-month-old when she noticed her door was open and her older child was missing. Rigney reported that her son, Xzavier, has autism and when she ran outside to locate him, she heard sirens. Thanks to her neighbor's heroic instinct, her child began breathing on his own after more than two minutes of chest compressions.

Paramedics arrived shortly after the boy began coughing up water and confirmed that if Westerhaus hadn't jumped in when he did, Xzavier probably wouldn't have survived. The father-daughter duo received Hometown Hero awards from Lawrence-Douglas County Fire Medical for their quick thinking and lifesaving actions. The first responders said that drowning is the leading cause of unintentional death in children and drowning doesn’t always look the way people think.

Thank goodness Maddox recognized something was wrong and alerted her father. Hopefully the pair went out for ice cream to celebrate their new hero status. Surely Xzavier’s mom is storing up on snuggles with her little guy and undoubtedly grateful for her neighbor’s quick acting.

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Family

Tunisian teen swimmer shocks with surprise gold, and his family's reaction is everything

@SportsJoe/Twitter, @EttachkilaTN/Twitter

Ahmed Hafnaoui had the swim of his life at just the right time on Sunday. After eeking into the men's 400-meter medal race in last place out of the eight finalists, the 18-year-old swimmer from Tunisia shocked everyone by taking home the gold in the event at the Tokyo Olympics.

Prior to the semi-finals, Hafnaoui wasn't even listed in the DraftKings Sportsbook odds of winning list, so the fact that he overtook the Australian favorites to win was extra impressive. Australia's Jack McLoughlin won the silver and American Kieran Smith took home the bronze, and though the race was close, it wasn't that close by swimming standards. Hafnaoui was the fastest swimmer, hands-down, after being the slowest of the finalists just the day before.

This, as they say, is why they play the games.

And this footage of Hafnaoui's loved ones in Tunisia reacting to his epic win is why everyone loves an underdog.

In a video originally shared by Tunisian sports news channel ETTACHKILA, Hafnaoui's family is heard cheering and screaming as they watch him swim in medal contention throughout the race. But as they watch him retake the lead in the final stretch and touch the wall first, their joy is palpable. (Definitely want the sound up for this—just maybe not too high.)

A win is always exciting, but a win by someone who was given slim-to-no chance at even medaling is incredible to watch. Talk about peaking at just the right time. Simply incredible.

A clearly overwhelmed Hafnaoui told NBC, "I just can't believe that. It's amazing."

He said he felt better in the water this morning than yesterday, and that he just put his head in the water. "And that's it," he said.

"I'm Olympic champion now," he added. "I just can't believe."

Congratulations to Hamed Hafnaoui and Tunisia, as well as all of Hafnaoui's loved ones. Thanks for giving us the Olympic thrill we love to see.


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