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Mom notices the boy she adopted looks a lot like her biological son, so she gets a DNA test

She had to know the truth.

via Liza Summer/Pexels and ANIRUDH/Unsplash

A concerned woman gets a DNA test.

A woman, 35, and her husband, 38, had been married for 10 years and during that time became good friends with a neighbor in her 20s. Two years after they met the neighbor she had a son. She said the father wasn’t in the son’s life because he was a one-night fling.

The woman had health issues, so the couple happily took care of the child when she was in the hospital. Sadly, the woman died when the child was young, so the couple became his foster parents and legally adopted him at the age of 7.

Years later, when their adopted son was 10, and their biological child was 5, the mother noticed that both children looked a lot alike. “Now that they are 10 and 5 years old and they looked so much like each other that I begin to have suspicions,” the woman wrote on the Reddit Relationship Advice subforum.

So, she secretly had the adopted son's DNA tested.

via GIPHY

When the results came back, the woman found out that her children were half brothers. Her husband had cheated on her with the neighbor who passed away. In a strange set of circumstances, the man adopted his son. After learning the truth about her son and husband, the wife was beside herself.

“I don't know how I should act. I am so angry and feel so humiliated, but I love the three of them so much. I feel like I am just a tool and that my dignity was stepped upon,” she wrote on the forum.

To make things worse, she still loves her husband. She said that he was “never abusive” and was a “good husband” and a “good father.”

“It feels like I was not a mother but an idiot who was used like a babysitter for his child,” the woman wrote. “How am I supposed to react? Should I tell them the truth and try to cancel the adoption? Should I divorce him? Am I right to feel like it, or am I a monster to see this child as the source of my humiliation?”

depression, sad woman, dna tests

A depressed woman.

via Daniel Reche/Pexels

The post received 110 comments, and the most popular urged her to ask herself the big questions. Do you want to raise both boys? Do you want to stay married? Do you feel like he will slight you again in some way?

I think one question you need to consider is, Do you want to raise both boys? Setting aside whether or not your husband is involved, understand that the child is blameless and isn't responsible for his parentage. Deciding what you want to do regarding the child is important. Also note that it isn't wrong to decide that you can't handle taking care of this child. Only you know if you have the capacity to raise the child, knowing where he comes from. If you decide that you can't, it is better to not try, and end up conveying all the upset you are feeling to him.

The other question is, Do you want to stay married? There can be various reasons for and against divorce. Only you can decide which ones matter most to you.

A related question is, Do you feel he will slight you again in some way? You talk about your dignity being stepped on. Is he often acting that way in many things? Was this a one-time thing? Do you think he is likely to do it again? Knowing this will help you answer the prior question.

Trying to break down all the things you are struggling with into separate ideas may help you get some control over it.

The woman’s final words on her situation were that she couldn’t resolve to hate her husband or the adopted child and that her husband’s infidelity was the only thing that made her feel hesitant about him. Further, she is legally bound to the adopted child and couldn’t leave him regardless. But sadly, even though it appears she will stay in the situation, she feels like she has no choice. “I feel trapped,” she wrote.

Upworthy has reached out to the woman for an update on her story. We will update this story if she responds.


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This video of David Beckham losing it after seeing his kid is peak dad-son goals.

David Beckham, renowned football* player, husband of the artist formerly known as Posh Spice, just celebrated his 43rd birthday.

First of all, congratulations, David Beckham! Hooray!

But now that's out of the way, let's get real: I bet you're wondering what's so special about a celebrity's birthday? And I get it. I mean, they have them all the time.

But this birthday actually was super special. That's because, as Bored Panda points out, Beckham's family figured out the one thing to give him that's even better than both birthday cake (very good) and tangible goods proffered unto a presumably wealth guy for simply surviving one more year: the gift of being together with the ones we love.

Beckham, just like a lot of us, doesn't get to spend nearly enough time with all his loved ones.

And big reason for that, beyond what must be a hectic schedule of footballing and modeling, Beckham's son Brooklyn has been away in New York studying photography at university this year. So although the rest of the Beckhams (there are four children in all) spent David's birthday in London, Brooklyn was probably only going to be able to be present via a nice phone call or Skype session.

Instead, though, Becks' oldest son wandered in mid-meal to give his dad the biggest hug ever and oh my god, who is chopping onions up in here?! The moment, of course, was caught on video. And it's the sweetest thing you'll see all day.

Listen, there are many reasons why this particular celeb birthday moment was awesome. But since both of us have to get back to work in a second — your boss isn't going to like it that you couldn't finish putting the cover sheet on you TPS report because you were busy welling up at an Instagram video— I'm going to choose just two, and then we'll get on with our day.

1. Family really can be so wonderful!

Yes, your family members can be annoying and infuriating, and no one can make you go from 0 to 60 on the rage-o-meter like your mom or dad, but when they're there for you, they're really there for you. And that's especially evident here.

According to my own sleuthing work (I checked to see who filmed the video — you're welcome), Victoria Beckham and Brooklyn planned this together and kept it a secret. It's especially adorable to hear Harper, 6, exclaim "I didn't know Brooklyn was coming" in delighted wonder!

2. It's awesome to see how open with their emotions the Beckham men are.

We live in a world where men are often told that it's not OK to have feelings. The Beckhams, however, must be raising their children to fight these ideas.

Not only is David clearly delighted to see his son, but he has no compunctions about crying it out in public and then posting it for the world to see. You see how long that hug was? Brooks (can I call you Brooks?) and Becks are so happy to see each other, it's like the rest of the world melts away. You can't put a price tag on that!

(I'm not going to tell you what to do with your life, but maybe call your dad or your brother or mom or just someone you love today today. I bet they'll be just as excited to hear from you!)



*That's what they call soccer across the pond!

This father-son hockey hug is going viral, and it's a great example of male affection.

Hockey player Bobby Butler never thought he'd have a shot at making the U.S. Olympic team.

Typically, those coveted spots are reserved for America's top NHL stars. But a surprising announcement from the league — this year, they've decided not to allow rostered players to compete in the Olympics — has opened the door to lesser-known players like Butler.

Butler during his time in the NHL with the Nashville Predators. Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

The 30-year-old Butler was, at one point, a journeyman NHL player, bouncing from team to team due to cuts and trades. Today, he plays for Milwaukee Admirals of the AHL (American Hockey League — sort of like the NHL's minor leagues). Butler represented America in the 2013 World Championship, where the U.S. team took bronze, but the Olympic team would be, without a doubt, the biggest stage of his career.

While the lack of NHL star-power meant more opportunity for greener players, competition was fierce: Team officials searched high and low for talent to join the squad — the college ranks, Americans in foreign hockey leagues, and players from the AHL — before putting their recruits through an intense trial period.

Butler made the cut. And while he was overjoyed, there was one person in his life he hoped would understand his intense flurry of emotions: his dad.

Team cameras were filming practice when Butler's dad stopped by, and the newest member of the U.S. men's hockey team got to give his old man some good news.

Butler's dad swelled with pride and wrapped his son in a bear hug as teammates cheer. The heartwarming video gives major feels:

Dads have a reputation for often being stingy with displays of physical affection. But that might all be changing.

That's not to say that fathers don't love their kids! They do. But it's been suggested that, generally, men prefer to show affection (particularly to other men and their sons) by bonding over shared activities or doing something nice. Hugs, kisses, and "I love you's" can be few and far between.

That kind of bonding has its place, but studies show that kids really benefit from a lot of warmth and physical affection from their parents. The good news is that some research suggests many men today might just be up to the task, and are driven to provide "better quality of fathering than they had experienced."

In any case, the viral response to Butler's embrace with his father shows that maybe we are ready for a world where a father can kiss his son, hold him when he's sad, and embrace him in moments of joy.

Even in the rough-and-tumble world of professional hockey.

Family

Laughter, slowing down, imperfection, and 'me time' are this dad's plan for the new year.

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Healthy Essentials

I’m a dad with two young daughters (5 and 3 years old), and from the moment I met them, they taught me the importance of caring for myself as well as them.

For example, before fatherhood, I exercised because I thought it made me attractive — now that I’m a dad, I exercise to stay "not dead" for my kids. Needless to say, my priorities have shifted tremendously.

But the holiday season always adds a ton of new pressures — I rarely have time to think about myself, and because of that, I end up being completely stressed out and overwhelmed in effort to keep my kids happy.

So now that it's the new year, I plan to give myself four gifts that didn't come from a store, don't require any shopping, and will benefit me and my family all throughout 2017.

1. I'm giving myself the gift of laughter.

In case you haven’t noticed, the current state of our world provides us with plenty of reasons not to smile. But if we focus our energies on that, we end up neglecting the people, places, and things that bring us so much joy.

So I’m planning to smile and laugh more with the people I love, caring for them and doing the things we love together. In doing so, I’ll be a much better dad, man, and friend.

All images via Doyin Richards, used with permission.

2. I’m giving myself the gift of slowing down.

Yes, I’m that parent with kids who are constantly on the receiving end of me blurting out, “Let’s go! Hurry up!” But in the big scheme of things, does it really matter if we’re a couple minutes late to some event? Not so much.

Time is the world’s most valuable resource because once it’s gone, we can’t get it back. Our kids will only be the ages they are right now — right now. If I’m constantly rushing around, how can I possibly enjoy the moment I'm currently in?

Slowing down is hard, but I'm realizing that it's necessary if we all want to reduce our stress levels. Other than requesting to use the potty at the most inopportune moments, kids rarely display a sense of urgency about anything — and that's probably why they’re so happy all the time. That isn't a coincidence.

The next time my daughter asks to put a BAND-AID® Bandage on my "boo-boo" and take care of me for 30 minutes in her "hospital," I’ll let her without losing my mind like I used to. Because as my parents always tell me, there will be a day when I'll miss moments like these.

3. I’m giving myself the gift of imperfection.

One of my mentors used to tell me that "perfect is the enemy of done," and I completely agree — especially when it comes to common parenting tasks.

For example, my daughters have really difficult hair to style. JOHNSON’S® NO MORE TANGLES® detangling spray makes life so much easier in that regard, but there are times when I can’t help myself from attempting to create the perfect 'do for my girls.

But now I want to think about things a little differently. Do I really have to create the perfect braids for my daughters' playdates? Will anyone care if my daughters' ponytails are a little lumpy? Kids are constantly disheveled in one way or another, and I need to embrace that in order to remove an unnecessary stressor from my life.  

Recently I let my kids rock their pajamas and messy hair to breakfast, and it was really hard for me to do. But then I noticed how happy and secure my kids were, and I realized that I should be happy and secure with it as well. Because true perfection is found in imperfection.  

4. I'm giving myself the gift of "me time."

Stop me if you've heard this before, but parenting is really hard. No two days are the same, our patience is constantly tested, and we're amazed at how much we can get done while in a perpetual state of exhaustion. More often than not, I find myself completely overwhelmed, and I know I'm not the only parent who feels that way.

In the new year, I'm planning to engage in some self-care. There's nothing wrong with saying, "You know what? I'm actually going to the spa to get a massage today." Parenting is all about putting others before ourselves, but the gift of "me time" allows us to have the energy to do that.

So go catch a nap and don’t feel guilty. You’ve earned it.  

As a guy who released a children’s book that celebrates healthy essentials of fatherhood, I'm doing my best to ensure I enjoy every one of these special moments. Before we know it, our kids will be grown and starting families of their own, and we need to take the time to enjoy them now.

Am I the perfect dad? Nope, but that’s because he doesn't exist. I'm just a parent who's figuring it all out as I go along — just like you. I hope you'll give yourself the gift of knowing that's exactly the way it should be.

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