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People over 100 share their simple secrets to living the best life

"Life goes on. So get on and do the things you love to do."

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Elderly hands hold flowers. Two older people sit on a bench.

There has always been something really fascinating about resilience. Some people simply embody it, no matter their age, and remind us that you're never too old to keep living a good life.

Just recently, a 100-year-old woman named Layne Horwich was diagnosed with breast cancer. One year later, at 101–she had beaten it. Not only did she survive the cancer, but she recently passed her driving test, according to a story on NBC 5 News Chicago. When asked how she has stayed so relatively healthy, she answered, "I did play tennis until I was 92, and I think that was good."

People who have lived to be 100 may have less time than many of us, but what they have is perspective. And, if they're lucky, that perspective can be churned into wisdom like cream into butter.

Business Insider, via their YouTube page, posted a video entitled "Life Lessons From 100-Year-Old Americans Who Didn't Expect To Live So Long." Here, they interview five centenarians to get their thoughts and wisdom on love, health, technology and, most importantly, how to live a happy life.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Barbara (101), Diane (102), Jack (101), Helen (107) and Margaret (102) get mic'd up and sit down to talk about their experience of living on this Earth for over a century. They have all lived from the Great Depression through the pandemic, and every one of those nearly one million hours tells its own story. They initially discuss their backgrounds, goals, how they met their spouses, and the lens with which they can now see the history they lived through.

They are asked questions on a variety of topics, and none of their answers disappoint.

ON LOVE

Barbara closes her eyes and says with such sincerity, "It's so important to feel love. I won't say it makes the world go round, but it's very helpful."

And you know the old wives' tale that opposites attract? Margaret and Barbara disagree with that idea. Cutting back and forth between them, Margaret says "A like-mindedness is the formation of a solid marriage. And that is love." Barbara adds, "You agree, you're on the same page, and you want to live your life together."

ON MORTALITY

Jack so beautifully and vulnerably tells us as he exits his home and takes a drive, "The most challenging thing about being 100 is at some times, time hangs heavy on your hands. I don't have any of my good friends who are still alive. They are all gone. My wife passed away 20 years ago this year. Much too early. She should be here with me, sitting right here, right now."

He later proclaims, "I am the last man standing. It's not easy at all. If I sat around and grieved all day long, that would be very difficult to take. I know that life goes on and that's the only answer I can give you. Life goes on. So get on and do the things that you love to do."

Helen also feels deep losses around her. She tells us she has lost her two sons, one just a few weeks prior at the age of 82. "I'm just shocked that I would still be here and they're gone. At my age, I think every step you take is challenging. I feel that I'm on borrowed time."

Both Margaret and Barbara reflect on the years with their husbands. Barbara confesses how hard life can seem without him. "It's very tough at this stage of the game to be alone, be vulnerable and be dependent."

ON TECHNOLOGY

older person, computer, technology, learning, 100Older man sitting at the computer. commons.wikimedia.org

When they're asked "What has changed the most in 100 years?" they name the Internet and cell phones for starters.

Helen adorably asks the producer, "Is it true you're on YouTube?" She then admits, "I see all these young people walking down the street holding phones. Everyone has got one but me."

The overall vibe is they don't love the seemingly modern obsession with technology. Jack quips, "Amazing how much garbage gets on your computer." However, they don't totally dismiss it. Jack continues, "It used to be that if you wanted the answer to something, you'd have to go to the library and do a great deal of research. Today, with a snap of your fingers, the Internet has the answer for you. Done!"

Margaret says she often uses her computer. "I think technology, if used properly, has definitely made a huge difference. The ability to reach out to one another. Getting emails, sending emails."

ON HEALTH

elderly people, exercise, aerobics, health, 100Older people taking an aerobics class.commons.wikimedia.org

When asked, "What helped you live to 100?" they all have slight variations on one theme: Exercise.

Jack also shares, "I've never smoked. I've never drunk to excess." And later, he says, "I don't eat meat to excess," though he does admit to enjoying chicken. (Helen adds to this that one should eat properly from a very young age.)

Diane (who was once a dancer) suggests "one hour a day of strenuous exercise. A real workout that will keep you going and keep you alive."

Margaret has a less intense idea of exercising. "Walk, walk, walk," she insists.

ON BEING HAPPY

Jack determines, "Don't let the old man in. I refuse to think old. If you think young, more than likely you're going to act young."

Margaret suggests keeping activities on your calendar. "There's always something on my plate that I look forward to doing. And I think that's important for people. To look forward to what you can do today, that makes a difference."

Barbara stresses the importance of friendships. "I have many friends who help me enjoy life from all different generations. 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s. And that's what makes life so interesting."

When asked directly, "So what's the secret for a long, happy life?"

elderly man, laughing, happiness, health, old ageAn elderly man laughs.pxhere.com

Diane answers, "I think it's just love of life. It's a devotion to my family, to the ones I love. The thing that I've really learned is not to be so self-centered."

Jack gives this tip: "If you don't complain, you don't make life difficult for everyone around you. You'll get along in life." He then added, "You can't get anywhere in life until you start doing things for other people."

Barbara: "You want to be attached to things that are positive and good in life." She also echoes the idea that, "Giving is a real joy."

We see Helen visiting her church, as she shares this thought - "I think if you're nice to people, it comes back to you."

Positive thinking overall is the key. Jack ends the segment with this: "I don't feel like my days are numbered. I feel that I have good years in front of me yet."

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ReSurge International
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Health

She was 15 when men threw acid in her face. They told her she’d be ashamed forever.

ReSurge International helped Muskan Khatun reconstruct her body, and now she’s using her voice to advocate for burn and gender-based violence survivors.

ReSurge International

Muskan Khatun was only 15 when she survived an acid attack in Nepal.

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When Muskan Khatun was 15 years old, a group of young men started teasing her on her way to school in Nepal. She found it disturbing and uncomfortable, but they wouldn’t stop.

“I finally told my family,” Muskan says. “My dad confronted them, scolded them, and even slapped one of them. After that, they stopped bothering me for about three months.

“Then, one day, when I was heading to school, I saw them again. This time, they had a jug of acid. They tried to make me drink it, but I refused. In anger, they threw the acid on my face, hands, and chest.”

The attackers were arrested, and good samaritans nearby got Muskan to Kirtipur Hospital, where she was treated by local ReSurge surgeon and Country Director, Dr. Shankar Man Rai and his team. Resurge International is a non-profit organization that provides free reconstructive surgical care and trains surgical teams in low-income countries around the world to increase access to care for people who need it, like Muskan. ReSurge’s team in Nepal has treated 141 intentional burn attacks like Muskan’s over the last seven years.

ReSurge helped Muskan take her life back. But that was only the beginning of her story.

ReSurge International

One teen’s perseverance created historic change in the law.

“As I learned more about the laws in my country, I realized the justice system didn’t provide enough protection or punishment for such crimes,” Muskan says.” It felt like a bigger hurt than the acid attack itself. That’s when I decided to raise my voice and work towards changing the laws to ensure justice for others like me.”

Muskan wrote to the Prime Minister just days after her attack, but got no response. So she took her voice to the public. For two years, she courageously shared her story and advocated for better laws.

Finally, the Prime Minister invited her to his residence. He listened to her experiences and legal ideas, and in just 15 days, he passed a law specifically targeting acid attacks. The law also passed in Nepal’s parliament in record time.

“This was the first time in Nepal that a law was passed so swiftly,” Muskan says. “The new law was very strict, including a life sentence for offenders, marking the most severe punishment in Nepal for such crimes.” In 2021 Muskan was awarded the prestigious International Women of Courage (IWOC) Award by the U.S. Secretary of State for her work to end acid attacks.

Muskan Khutan's awardsMuskan has won multiple awards for her advocacy work.Resurge International

Muskan is not alone. Acid attack survivors around the world have raised their voices to get laws changed—but that’s not the only battle they’re fighting.

Constructing laws is one thing. Reconstructing your burned body is another.

Chemical burns leave survivors with painful scar contractures that restrict movement over the affected areas, forcing them to also relive their trauma every time they look in the mirror or field questions from people about what happened to them. However, burn scars require specialized surgical care, which often isn’t readily available or affordable in most low-income countries.

That’s where ReSurge International comes in.

With a conservative estimate of 10,000 acid attacks each year (many countries don’t keep official records of acid attacks and an estimated 40% of attacks go unreported, according to Acid Survivors Trust International), the surgical needs just for intentional burn victims is significant. Additionally, with 80% of acid attack survivors being women, the gender-based violence aspect of the issue cannot be ignored.

But there’s a gap in surgery accessibility between people in high-income nations, where plastic surgery is often viewed as elective and cosmetic, and those in low-income countries, where it more often addresses critical medical needs.

One way ReSurge is closing that gap is by training the next generation of reconstructive surgeons across Africa, Asia and Latin America, in countries where acid attacks are high. Rather than only sending in surgeons from the outside, ReSurge trains and funds local surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, and occupational therapists, focusing on capacity building and prioritizing locally-led solutions with an extra emphasis on training women to close the gender gap in medicine and surgery. Just last year, ReSurge transformed the lives of over 25,000 patients and trained more than 5,000 medical professionals, with 85% of their surgeries being conducted by local partners.

Raising awareness is another way ReSurge is working to ‘close the gap.’

Seeing a potential for a powerful partnership, Resurge orchestrated the first face-to-face meeting between Muskan and fellow acid attack survivor and Woman of Courage Award Winner, Natalia Ponce de León from Colombia, in June of 2024. Like Muskan, Natalia has worked tirelessly to advocate for survivors’ rights and successfully inspired change to her country’s laws. She currently runs a foundation to ensure survivors of chemical attacks get the medical, psychological and legal care they need and deserve. Through the power of mentorship and mutual support, these two remarkable women will be able to increase their reach and amplify the impact of the incredible work they’re already doing.

Muskan Khutan and Natalia Ponce de Le\u00f3nMuskan and Natalia are working together to advocate for acid attack survivors.ReSurge International

Preventing more attacks like the ones that changed Muskan and Natalia’s lives requires a multi-faceted approach, as does care for survivors who are living with the aftermath of such violence. Survivor advocates and organizations like ReSurge International working together to ensure that care is accessible for all is a reminder of what humans can do when we set our sights on solutions and keep striving to implement them in the most effective way possible.


Interested in helping? This giving season, ReSurge is matching every gift for twice the impact. To make a gift to support patients like Muskan, read their stories, and learn more about how ReSurge International is closing the gap to reconstructive surgery, visit resurge.org/closing-the-gap

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Joy

Magician explains the incredible power of empathy using his best tricks

Empathy is magic.

via Nikolay Ivanov/Pexels and Liza Summer/Pexels

A magician does a card trick and two women embrace.

Ryan Modjeski, the Executive Director of Empatico, has found an interesting way of sharing the benefits of empathy — by using magic. Empatico is a video-meeting platform for educators that helps foster empathy among students through meaningful connections around the globe.

Although teaching people interpersonal skills through magic may seem strange, studies show that visual demonstrations help people remember and recall information.

In the video, he uses a card trick to explain how empathy makes us more resilientby fostering connections with others.

“With empathy, you build resilience,” Modjeski says in the video. “So, then, no matter how hard life is, no matter how shuffled up or jumbled up things are. No matter how much life pushes down on you. When you're empathetic and you're connected with yourself and with others. You always come on top.”

The Magic Of Empathy

In the second video, he uses a handkerchief trick and the mythical Green and Orange people's story to show how empathy breaks down barriers between different types of people. “How do we get Green people and Orange people to connect?” he asks. “The answer is with empathy. When we learn how to listen to each other, how to be kind, how to hear each other's stories.”

FInally, he uses four glasses of water to show the different types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral. “Now, this might seem like a lot, but in fact, when you put in a little effort and you open up your heart, well you can do anything,” he concluded the video.

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Health

Psychologist reveals 5 evidence-based tips for helping New Year's resolutions stick

Dr. Mark Jellicoe, a specialist in resilience and self-regulation, offers some wisdom for new year goal-setting.

Photo by Jenny Hill on Unsplash

New Year's resolutions are notoriously hard to keep.

Each New Year’s Eve, millions of us have the annual urge to change our ways, make a fresh start, form new habits or otherwise transform into a better version of ourselves.

The problem is many of us kick off the new year with all the good intentions, only to be derailed from our goals after a few weeks—or even a few days. It's disheartening to make New Year's resolutions each year and fail at keeping them, but creating new habits is a notoriously difficult thing for humans to do.

Is there a foolproof way to stick with a New Year's resolution? Probably not. But there are some science-backed ways to make it more likely that you'll stick with whatever you want to achieve.

Dr. Mark Jellicoe, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at The University of Law in the U.K. who specializes in resilience and self-regulation, says that there are many reasons why people struggle to achieve goals. "Often goals can be too vague, or, in reality, the resolution might be a wish that we are just not that committed to,” he says.

If there are goals you really do want to achieve this year, Jellicoe shares five evidence-based tips for sticking to them:

1. Go ahead and 'manifest,' but understand what works about it

"Manifesting"—the idea being that if you envision something strongly enough and live as if it's happening, it will happen—has been all the rage for the past few years.

"Some may be sad to hear this, but I’m not aware of any direct evidence to suggest manifesting will help to achieve a goal," says Jellicoe. "However, there are several supported scientific approaches, which could be ascribed to the 'manifesting' approach. It makes sense that if we orient ourselves towards an outcome then we might be more motivated to achieve it, which would invoke the patterns of thinking and behavioral beliefs to help us do this."

Jellicoe points out that people need to get tactical, whatever vision they have for themselves. "Don’t abandon all hope if you feel manifesting works for you," he says, "just be sure to back it up with some solid goal-setting practice. Manifesting isn’t a magic bullet."

2. Be strategic about who you share your goals with.

When we're excited about making change, we might be eager to tell people about it. We might even feel like we'll be more likely to achieve our goals if we share them with others.

"There are some schools of thought that suggest speaking your goal out loud or sharing it with others creates a sense of accountability," says Jellicoe. "However, there is growing evidence that would suggest doing this can be detrimental."

"Scientific evidence also suggests that the mere act of telling someone about our goal, and the congratulations or encouragement we receive, might lead to us deceiving ourselves that we have already achieved the goal, and as a result, we fail to move to the implementation stage," adds Jellicoe. "This has led to some advising that we don’t tell others our goals."

3. Be proactive and deliberate about goal-setting.

Setting goals sounds simple enough, but people in general are not very good at the mechanics of setting goals and working toward them.

"There are a couple of solid, research-backed approaches to goal-setting," says Jellico. "Many of us will have heard of the SMART approach, which encapsulates some of these key ideas, where goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound. This isn’t a bad place to start, but there are arguments that even well-set goals may not lead us to strive towards the outcome."

Jellicoe suggests adding the WOOP model of goal-setting, which stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. "This approach encourages us to think about the reality of our situation and the likely obstacles that come between us and our ultimate goals, so we can plan ways to overcome them," he says. "Pairing this with the SMART approach so you can monitor your progress could lead to success."

4. Get to know your personality type and how it affects goal-setting

Jellicoe lists five well-supported personality factors using the acronym OCEAN: Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism (now often referred to as "low emotional stability"). These factors can influence how you approach goals and what might help you achieve them.

"This is a vast topic with lots to explore," he says, "but one example would be those who are more conscientious typically tend to be more planful and organized—naturally this often leads to a higher likelihood of seeing goals through. This same personality, however, may also be more likely to stick with a goal even when circumstances change that make that goal no longer relevant."

Jellicoe suggests learning more about your personality type online to gain a better understanding of yourself and your tendencies. "This understanding could give you a good grounding in learning how to adapt your strategies," he says.

5. Utilize the power of small, clustered goals.

"Regardless of the resolution you set yourself, achieving small, clustered goals along the way could be crucial in building confidence and motivation to keep working towards your desired outcome," says Jellicoe.

An example of this method is the 'Couch to 5K' challenge in which people start with running just a minute at a time, adding a little bit of running time each day. With small new goals being continually set, you find yourself able to run a 5K within just a couple of months.

"Often this approach to goal-setting can have a positive upward spiral into other areas of our lives too, such as health and wellbeing," adds Jellicoe.

Whatever goals you want to achieve in 2023—or even if you don't want to set resolutions at all—be kind to yourself as you enter the new year.

“This time of year can be stressful for so many of us, and we all have our own reasons for that. Any milestone event can bring about a mixture of positive and negative emotions," says Jellicoe. “Like with any milestone—think birthdays or anniversaries—the new year can also be a time for reflection and renewal. At this time of year, many of us also have the time and space to engage in reflection, so it might be a good time to reflect, accept and move forward."

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