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People admit these common social norms are actually quite 'ridiculous'

Why are will still doing some of these?

Photo credit: Canva

Just because everyone's doing it…it doesn't make it right.

There are plenty of societal norms that have stood the test of time— washing your hands before leaving the bathroom, saying “please” and “thank you,” using a blinker to indicate when you're turning or switching lanes…though we know that not all of society does these things…But still, man, if not most of us do, and the world seems to be better for it.

However, there are just as many widely accepted behaviors that perhaps could use some reevaluation, whether they’re outdated, or just downright asinine.

Recently, someone on Ask Reddit prompted folks to share common social norms they secretly found “ridiculous,” and answers flooded in—everything from obsolete workplace etiquette to baffling economic obligations that only put folks more in a financial bind.

On the job front, gummywormeater wrote that they are sick of it being normal for job ads to not have pay transparency, writing, “are we really pretending as if the money isn’t a big factor as to why I’m applying?”

Luckily, demand has led to legislative change, with several states enacting laws to ensure employees and job applicants have access to salary information. But clearly, there’s still a ways to go.

Someone else lamented the standard “two weeks to quit a job” practice, since it demands loyalty of the employee without doing the same thing of the employer.

“They can let you go without even a seconds warning but if you leave without giving a two week notice you’re the bad guy and filed under ‘not rehireable’, they said, adding, “The entire idea behind the two week notice is so they could train your replacement but these days they often don’t really have anyone lined up for that. Then they ask you to stay on another week. Not your problem though.”

via GIPHY

Others noted how things that were often regarded as rude manners really weren’t rude at all.

“Crossing my arms means I’m closed off. Actually I’m just really comfortable standing that way. I do it all the time,” said It_is_me_Mike , while the obviously introverted humming-bird5 lamented “having to say bye to every person when leaving an event.”

Similarly, -rocky23m said:

“I secretly find ridiculous is the expectation to always respond with ‘I'm fine’ or ‘I'm good’ when someone asks how you're doing, even when you're clearly not. It's as if we're all part of an unspoken agreement to avoid genuine emotional exchanges in casual interactions, reducing a potentially meaningful conversation to mere pleasantries. It feels like a missed opportunity to connect on a deeper level, yet it's so ingrained that we all just go along with it.”

media.giphy.com

When it comes to social media, many agree that it’s caused us to normalize whipping our phones out and broadcasting every moment of our day. Rather than just, you know, experiencing it.

“Posting your entire life online.” -Queenofswords_love

“Having to be available 24/7.” Formal-Eye5548

There are plenty of parenting norms that are well and good, but PlaysTheTriangle doesn’t get the trend of “not just letting kids be weird. My son used to wear the weirdest stuff and if we were going out I’d be like ‘Go for it! You’re six, live it up!’”

Then there came the subject of money.

Dances28 thought it was ridiculous that it’s so common to spend money just “to flex,” asking “why do I care if random people think I'm rich?”

On that note there were lots of folks who didn’t get why certain (very expensive) things were just expected to be bought in order to declare some kind of status or keep up with outdated traditions.

“Wearing brand name clothing. As long as you have nice clean clothes on I don’t care what brand they are. Scuh

“Over the top weddings. What an incredible waste of money.” -Pithecanthropus88

via GIPHY

“Gender reveals. What a grandiose waste of money, time and resources.” -Sea-Gene-901

“Having kids when you can’t even afford rent.” -morningsunzzz

Lastly, to end on a lighthearted note, SwimInTheOceanAtNite wrote, “Blaming the way someone acts on their zodiac sign.” We’ve all heard someone do that…if we haven’t done it ourselves.

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Wellness

If you shame people for wearing masks, you only succeed in making yourself look ridiculous

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

My husband was working out in our front yard, wearing an N95 mask, when a man driving by gestured to his face and yelled, "Take it off!"

I've seen anti-maskers. I've heard their arguments for not wearing a mask in the middle of a viral pandemic. I know they think they don't work, or that they actually make you sick, or that they're a way for the government to control our behavior, or [fill-in-the-blank conspiracy theory]. But I wish I could bring that guy back and show him what he was actually yelling at.

My husband wasn't wearing a mask for COVID, you see. He was mixing concrete to fix our front steps. He's always worn an N95 mask when he does home improvement projects that involve fine particulate dust, as he values his lung health. In fact, that's why we had a stash of N95s that we were able to donate to medical workers early in the pandemic.

Telling my husband to take off his mask in that case was just flat-out dumb. But honestly, shaming people for wearing a mask for any reason is dumb.

We're in a weird time of the pandemic where mask-wearing for COVID reasons is a question mark for a lot of us. On the one hand, the CDC says those who are vaccinated can ditch the masks. On the other hand, those who aren't vaccinated are also largely ditching their masks—if they ever wore one to begin with—which means the virus will still spread. We also have new variants emerging that pose a greater threat to unvaccinated people, including children who can't get the vaccine and immunocompromised people for whom the vaccine may not produce as strong of an immune response as desired.

And while we're making good headway in mitigating the pandemic in the U.S., it's certainly not over. It's not like masking is a bad idea at this point; it's just not necessary if you're vaccinated and healthy. If people still want to wear a mask for themselves or for others, more power to them. Unlike NOT wearing a mask during an uncontrolled pandemic, wearing one poses no harm to anyone. It's nobody's business if someone else chooses to wear a mask.

Plus, there are many, many reasons people might choose to continue wearing a mask, even if they are fully vaccinated. Maybe they have other health issues. Maybe they have a condition that makes the vaccine less effective.

He wrote a "death letter" early in the pandemic when his doctors warned him if he got COVID he wouldn't make it, set to go out every Sunday night automatically. Every Sunday night he resets the clock. So, having done the risk calculus he probably doesn't need unsolicited input.
— Soo Youn (@Soo Youn) 1624475283

Check out the experience of someone who has been wearing a mask in public since 2014 due to health issues.

"Pre-covid ppl were nice about my mask," they wrote. "In the past year I've been yelled at, coughed on and spit at for wearing a mask"

Absolutely ridiculous.

Before the pandemic, people saw these things as sympathetic. "That will never be me". Now it's a reminder of their own susceptibility and now they hate it.
— rafael (he/they) (@rafael (he/they)) 1624510774

And approaching a stranger's child, who not only isn't old enough to have gotten a vaccine but who also has immune issues, and telling them they don't need to wear a mask anymore? Uh uh. Nope. Not okay.

I will never understand how people can be so bold. My kid is unvaccinated, like all children, and my wife has an already damaged lung and is on immune blockers. Why wouldn't I have the kid wear a mask! Also keep 3 to 6 feet away!
— Mark... Not that one. (@Mark... Not that one.) 1624526966

Someone else wearing a mask does not impact you in any way. If someone wants to or needs to wear a mask, they are free to do so—and they don't even have to explain their reasoning.

I\u2019m so tired of people believing only they have freedoms. The same \u201cfreedom\u201d that grants them the right not to wear a mask, grants me the right to wear one - every single minute of every single day forever WITHOUT EXPLANATION!
— Patricia, NOT "Disgraced Ex-President Donald T.\u201d (@Patricia, NOT "Disgraced Ex-President Donald T.\u201d) 1624533629

You would think that after a year and a half of global pandemic and 600,000 deaths in the U.S. alone, there wouldn't be any controversy over people masking. I even know people who say they're going to continue wearing masks during cold and flu season because it was so nice to not get sick this year.

I lived in Japan more than 20 years ago, and it was commonplace to see people wearing masks in public places because they had a cold and didn't want to pass it on to others. That kind of thoughtfulness and concern for others' health completely blew my American mind. The contrast with people here now shaming others for wearing a mask is really something.

Maybe the key is to wear a mask that the even most hardened anti-masker can't complain about, like this American flag mask.

I am immunocompromised (kidney transplant - 12 years). The best solution I've found is this for a mask. Some of the Jimmy-Bob redhats hold the door for me at the gas station when they see it. pic.twitter.com/AszYqBTSy4
— El Nieve (@El Nieve) 1624517333

"Why are you wearing a mask?"

"Because I love my country. Why do you hate America?"

Maybe it could work.

The bottom line is there are dozens of reasons people might be wearing a mask at this point, pandemic or no pandemic, and it is none of your business if they are. The guy who yelled at my husband made himself look like a fool, but honestly, so does every person who shames someone for wearing a mask. No one needs your opinion on choices that don't affect you, so just stop.

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Loneliness isbecoming a public health issue.

We live in a time when we're more connected than ever, and yet a recent survey found that most Americans could be classified as lonely — feeling out of step with the world, not creating meaningful relationships, and seeing themselves as disconnected, even when they're with others. That same survey showed that young Americans may be the most lonely demographic. And that's a problem.

Social isolation comes with health concerns, both physical and mental. According to a 2010 study, loneliness could be just as bad as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, it can be a factor in the development of depression, and it can hasten cognitive decline due to a lack of intellectual stimulation.

Now that the problem's been recognized, solutions are coming fast.

Of course, feeling lonely is normal some of the time, just as it's normal to feel anxious or have a low mood once in a while. It's when it becomes prolonged that loneliness is an issue. Transforming loneliness takes perseverance, but there's evidence that isolation doesn't have to be a permanent condition.

In large cities — where one can feel lost even in a crowd — co-working and co-living facilities have become increasingly common.

If you're someone who works from home, you already understand both the ecstasy and the agony of the position (no pants, ever, but also no one to talk to). That's why co-working is so ideal. The space doesn't just give one a space to work, it puts people into contact with one another, allowing them to create small communities where they can bounce ideas off each other, vent, and create friendships that extend beyond happy hour.

Co-living spaces, while not as ubiquitous, also offer a solution to loneliness. They allow like-minded people to live together, work together, and form strong bonds. Unlike traditional roommate situations, this isn't just about a few people sharing the rent — it's also about schedules, interests, and personalities. This ensures that people aren't merely living together; they're forming a cohesive bond for residents that hopefully will last even after they've left the space.

Humans need connection to thrive. Sometimes the best way is through helping others.

A recent study, for example, found that volunteering 100 hours a year (or two hours a week) can have health benefits, especially after experiencing a loss. When researchers studied older people who had lost a spouse, they found that those who made volunteering a regular part of their routine were able to bounce back more quickly. Volunteering has also been shown to reduce stress and lower blood pressure. And researchers have suggested that this can work for all groups of people.

All this means greater hope for the future.

It's no surprise that former surgeon general Vivek Murthy cited loneliness as an "epidemic" that needs to be treated on a large scale. Part of that treatment is knowledge, and as society becomes more and more aware that loneliness can have painful consequences, it's important for us to work harder to make connections. The people we spend our time with don't just enrich our lives. They could be making them longer too.

This man is a role model for incarcerated kids. Why? He used to be one of them.

True

For kids who have grown up in low-income neighborhoods, it can be hard to see a way out.

Seeing the adults around them stuck in the same cycle of poverty, a lot of kids find it hard to believe that there’s any opportunity for them to be different — to be the ones who make it out and carve out a different way of life. The American Dream seems too elusive. Like it doesn’t apply to them.

Robert Clark was one of these kids.

After losing his mother at a young age, Robert turned to the wrong people for guidance. That, paired with the limited resources in his neighborhood, meant that he found himself going down a path that would almost guarantee continual incarceration. Or death.

Robert Clark. All images via Starbucks. Used with permission.

When he was released from prison at 21, he'd had enough. He wanted out of the life he was living. He cut ties with the people he’d been hanging around and tried to carve out a new life for himself. But it wasn’t until he ran into an old friend that he found direction. This friend told him about YouthBuild.

Check it out:

YouthBuild provides troubled youth a path to success with a program that gives back to the community by building affordable housing and offering continued education. A Starbucks original series.
Posted by Upworthy on Monday, September 26, 2016

YouthBuild is a program that helps low-income kids, like Robert, who have dropped out of school to pursue their GED.

When they’re not studying, they’re building housing for the homeless and low-income families in their own neighborhoods.

"We discover that there is an enormous range of talent that is being locked out of society," said Dorothy Stoneman, founder of the program. "But if the young people are given an opportunity they will seize it."

It’s a two-fold approach. The kids working on bettering themselves while doing something for people who are, in many ways, worse off than they are or in circumstances they’ve experienced. It shows them the path forward while giving them the chance to help others move forward, too.

YouthBuild offers hope. It offers structure. It offers expectations. And the kids rise to the occasion.

Today, Robert is the first YouthBuild graduate to found and lead a YouthBuild program.

He has a passion for helping others to see their way out of the lifestyle he once lived. He knows these kids. He gets them. And he’s committed to helping them.

Because he was once one of them.

"The early months of the YouthBuild program was a magical experience for me," said Robert. "It introduced me to a voice that I didn’t know I had. It was the greatest lesson for me about the power of love, opportunity, and expectation ... they expected that I would be something. And they loved me until I learned to love myself.”

YouthBuild is definitely about learning and building, but equally importantly, it's about community.

The kids who are served by the program need people to talk to who understand where they’ve been and can show them a new path forward. Someone to believe in them in order to see and believe in better for themselves. Someone to give them hope.

America is #1! ... At least in one very cool way.

Social entrepreneurship.

"What the heck is that?" you might be asking.

Social entrepreneurs are those who use a business opportunity to solve a societal problem.

So if a company, say, prioritizes cleaning up a local river as part of its business model or a start-up gives away a winter coat to a child in need for every jacket it sells, those endeavors could be considered social entrepreneurship.

Photo by Christof Stache/AFP/Getty Images.

Social entrepreneurs have played increasingly important roles in terms of economic growth and solving systemic problems throughout the world. And there's no better place to be one than in the U.S., according to a recent study released by the Thomas Reuters Foundation.

By conducting surveys in 45 countries with hundreds of experts — academics, policy-makers, investors, and entrepreneurs themselves — the foundation analyzed where it's easiest (and most difficult) to become a do-good business leader. Several factors can help or hurt a social entrepreneur, like if investors are easy to come by or if the public understands what a social entrepreneur even is (which can affect a business' fundraising efforts), and those variables can vary pretty significantly from country to country.

The foundation's survey asked participants a series of questions related to businesses with a bigger mission such as "Is it easy to get grant funding?" or "Is social entrepreneurship gaining momentum in your country?" Then they ranked the top countries based off of those responses.

Here are the top five countries on the list:

5. Israel

Photo by Eric Piermont/AFP/Getty Images.

Israel finished fifth overall but ranked highest in the world in terms of the general public's understanding of what social entrepreneurs actually do — one of the critical questions the survey took into consideration.

4. Singapore

The bustling Orchard Road shopping district in Singapore. Photo by Roslan Rahman/AFP/Getty Images.

Singapore ranked particularly high on the list in terms of entrepreneurs getting the non-financial support they need in order to get the ball rolling on their goals, like mentoring from experts and access to legal advice.

3. United Kingdom

Photo by Chris Radburn-WPA Pool/Getty Images.

U.K. respondents reported overall favorable conditions for their social entrepreneurs, who ranked second in the world as far as their ability to make a living in their line of work.

2. Canada

Photo by Mark Ralston/AFP/Getty Images.

Social entrepreneurship is definitely on the up and up in Canada as the country ranked somewhere in the top 10 across all questions asked in the survey.

1. United States

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

The U.S. ranked highest in terms of reported favorable conditions for social entrepreneurs. Respondents also said social entrepreneurship in America is "gaining momentum" and that it's relatively easy for businesses with a noble mission to find the talent they need to succeed.

Stacked up against the rest of the world, there's certainly room for improvement in America on many key issues.

When it comes to health, police brutality, education, inequality, and gun violence, America is, er ... not blazing the trails of social justice (to put it lightly). In part because of issues like these — and the fact we're in the middle of a nasty presidential election season — it can feel like cynicism about the state of our country is reaching all-time highs (there's a reason why the tagline, "Make America Great Again" has struck a chord with so many people, after all).

But surveys like this one can serve as a reminder that, all things considered, there are many reasons to feel proud to be an American. The fact we're empowering innovators who want to make a living making the world a better place is just the latest item on that ever-growing list.

Alicia Keys' look at the VMAs shows she meant it when she said she's over makeup.

'I don't want to cover up anymore.'

Alicia Keys did something pretty gutsy at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images.

She showed up to the red carpet, husband Swizz Beatz at her side, wearing absolutely no makeup.

Photo by Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images.

We're not talking "no-makeup makeup" either, by the way. (You know, when people use makeup to rock a more natural look?)

We're talking actually no makeup.

Photo by Angela Weiss/AFP/Getty Images.

Whether she's appearing in promos for her new gig hosting the 11th season of "The Voice" or performing at the DNC, you may have noticed that Keys has been walking out the door without a single dab of lipstick or swipe of mascara.

Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

Keys expressed why she decided to go the makeup-free route in an essay for Lenny in May 2016.

"Before I started my new album, I wrote a list of all the things that I was sick of," she penned in the newsletter, which was co-created by Lena Dunham. "And one was how much women are brainwashed into feeling like we have to be skinny, or sexy, or desirable, or perfect."

Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images.

"One of the many things I was tired of was the constant judgment of women," she wrote.

"The constant stereotyping through every medium that makes us feel like being a normal size is not normal, and heaven forbid if you’re plus-size. Or the constant message that being sexy means being naked. All of it is so frustrating and so freakin’ impossible."

Photo by Thos Robinson/Getty Images for VH1.

Keys' decision to ditch makeup is laudable — not because makeup or the women who wear it are inherently bad (they're not) — but because she's embracing what works for her.

People of all genders should be able to wear as much or as little makeup as they choose without feeling like they need to conform to society's expectations (expectations that start kicking in younger than many of us may realize).

To wear makeup or not to wear makeup is a personal choice. When it comes to the images presented in the media, however, it can start to seem like wearing makeup is the only choice. Keys' decision to reject that pressure is setting an amazing example.

No one should feel like they need makeup to hide who they really are, which makes Keys' VMAs look one for the books.

"I don’t want to cover up anymore," she wrote in Lenny. "Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing."

Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images.

Women have been advocating for equal rights for centuries, and the fight is just beginning.

There's no one right way to be a feminist.

In fact, feminist history is so rich because of the diversity in beliefs, practices, and ideologies. Thanks to famous feminists like Sojourner Truth, Audre Lorde, Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan, and so many more, feminism has transcended race, class, and time to reach a number of women and impact new laws and ways of thinking.

Rebecca Cohen, a cartoonist based in Berkeley, explains the importance of feminism as a catalyst for real change through a series of comics:

All images by Rebecca Cohen, used with permission.

In the words of feminist author and speaker Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a feminist is "a person who believes in the social, economic and political equality of the sexes."

Of course, we still have a ways to go to get to a place where this definition is true. But as feminism continues evolving, I hope this is a definition men and women can get behind as we continue to fight for justice and true equality!

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