upworthy

mother

Joy

Writer shares delightful quotes from his 'mum' from before she died, and people are in love

Darby Hudson's mother had a uniquely wonder-filled perspective that has people laughing and crying.

Darby Hudson's mom said the most profound things in the simplest way.

This world is filled with all kinds of people, each a mixed bag of qualities and quirks, virtues and vices. This "being human" business is complex and none of us has everything figured out, but sometimes a person comes along who's able to tap into the magical, wonder-filled side of life and express it in a way that touches people universally.

Darby Hudson's mom—hereby known as "Mum"—was one of those people, and we're all getting to know her posthumously through her delightful "Alive things Mum said to me before she died" quotes shared by Hudson. Gems like this:

"Darby, love, there's so much sadness in the world yet I'm always falling in love with the day. There's almost too much to fall in love with."

"Darby, love, I'm struggling to fit this one life into this one life. But sometimes I feel this weightless heaviness for all the lives I wish I'd lived. But then I think in all those lives I'd have still seen the same moon at night."

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love, momAll of Mum's quotes begin with "Darby, love…"Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"Darby, love, sometimes I think I'm just too alive. Is there such a thing as being too alive?"

"Darby, love, there is so much beauty in the world. Also, I hope you've been keeping up with the politics in this country, terrible things are happening. Oh, look at that cloud, it looks like a pelican! Do you see it too, love?!"

"Darby, love, when you go for a walk remember to tell things you love them aloud: trees, clouds, fire hydrants. Tell all the things you love them."

"Darby, love, life is a walk in the park. But with rabid stray dogs and someone going to mug you. But on a beautiful day, of course, and that's all that matters."

Some of the quotes are breathtakingly beautiful snippets of reflective wisdom, like "Darby, love, everything you need is inside of you. How do you look inside of you? When you no longer have a choice." And some of them are a whole different kind of wisdom, such as: "Darby, love, never apologise then fart."

Hudson tells Upworthy that his mom loved books, especially mythology, poetry, and the classics. She had been a librarian, a high school teacher, and then a barrister (a lawyer, for the Americans reading).

"She was a bit of a dreamer yet strangely operated in the brutal world of logic," Hudson says, adding, "Barristers need to turn sentences into a form of algebra to be able to argue." He thinks her being Irish helped her in that work.

Like many people who shine brightly, Hudson's mom could also fall into deep despair. As their relationship grew closer in adulthood, Hudson learned how he could tap into her bright side to help pull her from the darkness.

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love, mom"See which emotion wins."Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"She lived like a bit of a hermit and a local eccentric into her old age," he tells Upworthy. "She was a little sideways and taught me a lot about how to view the world and we often completed each others' thoughts. Later in life, I felt like she was less my mum and more my 'sister' and that's when our relationship got a lot better! As long as I could lure her into a sense of play, she would move from her darkness and hopeless view of the world and into a sense of magic. We all have those two sides—one of politics and one of magic. Her magic side was beautiful!"

Hudson collected all of her quotes in a book, "DARBY, LOVE..." which he said came to him during the time between Christmas and New Year's, when "days of the week don’t exist and you could feel politics drop away and magic return." He wrote in the introduction:

"Mum was a stranger to this world – she belonged to one of magic and dreams. On her good days, she was unstoppable, pure spirit. And while her darkness was pure despair, almost out of necessity, it was countered with the most incredible light. And in these current times – a world that can feel so dark – I wanted to share mum’s brightest self.

These pages hold the truth of most of what mum did and said – but they’re also an inspired love letter to her voice, channelling and capturing the spirit of the strangest, most poetic soul I’ve ever known. Some of the most 'famous' people I’ve ever met have no followers, no audience. Mum was one. I was lucky to call her mum, even if her lingering spirit still drives me up the wall sometimes."

People have been moved by both Hudson's mum's words and his celebration of her "magic."

"Darby love, this is the single most beautiful thing I’ve encountered on my device today. I’m going to jump offline now, for fear of ruining this magic - will return tomorrow for more musings (and after I’ve told the lizards on my walk that I love them)."

"What a blessing to have a mother with such a lovely spirit, so funny yet full of wisdom. My favorite: 'Darby, love, I often get the feeling that there's something very wrong with me and then another feeling comes rushing in from behind saying there's something very right with me.' That says it all about her personality 💜✨ Thanks for sharing! She must be tremendously missed, but you're keeping her essence alive!"

"Your mum’s thoughts sound so beautiful. How often have I thought to myself 'I’m struggling to fit this one life into this one life' so perfectly stated."

"I’ve never missed anyone I’ve never met before. How bout that!"

quotes, inspiration, darby hudson, darby love"Don't let it explain the magic away."Courtesy of Darby Hudson/Instagram

"I am pretty sure I love your mum. These are some of the best things I’ve ever read. Being a mother myself. In my mind possibly with the same colorful, mysterious and beautiful outlook on life and hope to have my 'legacy' of expression passed down to my children 💕"

"Your mum's words are like a eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup while being held. I want to smile and cry at the same time."

"The best thing I’ve ever read in a long time. Darby, love, you got lucky with that one."

What better way to honor the unique light a loved one brought to the world than to share glimmers of their everyday brilliance? Thank you for sharing your mum's words with us, Darby. May we all take her magical whimsy and beautiful perspective on life to heart.


You can find more of Darby Hudson's work on Instagram and find his book, "DARBY, LOVE…" here.

New baby and a happy dad.


When San Francisco photographer Lisa Robinson was about to have her second child, she was both excited and nervous.

Sure, those are the feelings most moms-to-be experience before giving birth, but Lisa's nerves were tied to something different.

She and her husband already had a 9-year-old son but desperately wanted another baby. They spent years trying to get pregnant again, but after countless failed attempts and two miscarriages, they decided to stop trying.


Of course, that's when Lisa ended up becoming pregnant with her daughter, Anora. Since it was such a miraculous pregnancy, Lisa wanted to do something special to commemorate her daughter's birth.

So she turned to her craft — photography — as a way to both commemorate the special day, and keep herself calm and focused throughout the birthing process.

Normally, Lisa takes portraits and does wedding photography, so she knew the logistics of being her own birth photographer would be a somewhat precarious new adventure — to say the least.

pregnancy, hospital, giving birth, POV

She initially suggested the idea to her husband Alec as a joke.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"After some thought," she says, "I figured I would try it out and that it could capture some amazing memories for us and our daughter."

In the end, she says, Alec was supportive and thought it would be great if she could pull it off. Her doctors and nurses were all for Lisa taking pictures, too, especially because it really seemed to help her manage the pain and stress.

In the hospital, she realized it was a lot harder to hold her camera steady than she initially thought it would be.

tocodynamometer, labor, selfies

She had labor shakes but would periodically take pictures between contractions.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"Eventually when it was time to push and I was able to take the photos as I was pushing, I focused on my daughter and my husband and not so much the camera," she says.

"I didn't know if I was in focus or capturing everything but it was amazing to do.”

The shots she ended up getting speak for themselves:

nurse, strangers, medical care,

Warm and encouraging smiles from the nurse.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

experiment, images, capture, document, record

Newborn Anora's first experience with breastfeeding.

Photo by Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

"Everybody was supportive and kind of surprised that I was able to capture things throughout. I even remember laughing along with them at one point as I was pushing," Lisa recalled.

In the end, Lisa was so glad she went through with her experiment. She got incredible pictures — and it actually did make her labor easier.

Would she recommend every mom-to-be document their birth in this way? Absolutely not. What works for one person may not work at all for another.

However, if you do have a hobby that relaxes you, figuring out how to incorporate it into one of the most stressful moments in your life is a pretty good way to keep yourself calm and focused.

Expecting and love the idea of documenting your own birthing process?

Take some advice from Lisa: "Don't put pressure on yourself to get 'the shot'" she says, "and enjoy the moment as much as you can.”

Lisa's mom took this last one.

grandma, hobby, birthing process

Mom and daughter earned the rest.

Photo via Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

This article originally appeared on 06.30.16

Being rich, famous, and at the top of your field is awesome. But it doesn’t absolve anyone from self-doubt and anxiety.

Just ask Samantha Ponder. At 31, she’s been a successful sideline reporter and "College GameDay" host, and she's a mom to two beautiful kids. Most recently in 2017, she became the first female host of ESPN’s "Sunday NFL Countdown," shattering the concept that women can’t talk sports from the desk.  

Picture day at my new school. 👍🏼


A post shared by Sam Ponder (@samanthaponder) on

Despite a decade of hard-earned experience under her belt, she still felt insecure at times. “Every job I’ve had I’ve wondered, 'holy crap, I don’t know if I’m good enough,'” she says.

Like many of us, she struggled to define her self-worth at work. She often passed salary and contract negotiations off to an agent. Early in her career, Ponder found it difficult to manage criticism and negativity from social media trolls.

"I used to call my dad to ask what I was doing wrong," she recalls. "He usually responded with 'consider the source.'"

But even with a great support network, it's difficult not to let that type of criticism affect your self-image. It wasn't until she gave birth to her daughter that Ponder gained new perspective.

My favorite time of day. "Mama les snuggle an watch basitball." ❤🏀

A post shared by Sam Ponder (@samanthaponder) on

Ponder started thinking about what she would advise her daughter to do. Then she started to act on it herself.

Instead of handing difficult conversations off to her agent, she took her seat at the table.

"Talking about money makes me so uncomfortable, but this time around, I was much more involved," she says, referring to the contract negotiations for her new job at ESPN. She fought the doubting voice inside her saying, “What if they don’t want me? What if they say you should just be glad we gave you a job.” And replaced it with "What would I tell my daughter to do?"

It's this philosophy that's carried Ponder to the top of her field and in proving her worth — to herself and others. In reflecting on her career so far, Ponder highlights three key truths that continue to motivate her.

1. Don’t bluff.

Women frequently undervalue themselves in the workplace, which can lead to lower pay and ultimately less upward mobility into executive roles. Ponder says success in negotiating requires balance: be confident and honest in estimating your worth. Having specific examples and honest reasons to back it up not only strengthens your case but also allows you to be OK (truly OK) with walking away if your employer decides not to negotiate.

2. Maintain an identity separate from your job.

It’s easy to let the power dynamics of a job negotiation cloud your vision of yourself. "If you need the offer to feel happy, then they control you," she says.

If the job means everything to you, you no longer have negotiating power. No job is more important that your happiness. Whether it's family, friends, faith, a hobby, or a side hustle, it's important to find ways to maintain your happiness outside of work.

3. Know your boundaries.

"At the end of the day, everybody’s got to feed their family," Ponder says. Know your boundaries and what walking away means for you, she advises.

It’s all part of an effort to change her own learned behaviors now so that when her daughter’s generation confronts the same issues, it’s less uncomfortable. Whether it’s salary negotiations, setting an example for your child, or simply finding peace in a new position, Ponder reiterates the importance of cutting yourself some slack.

“I think can we all just admit that we’re insecure. All of us,” she said.

Knowing this, and owning it, allows you to take the pressure off and get down to real business.

For more from our I’ll Just Say it series, read on here.

Richard Pringle, a dad from England, thought he'd have more time with his son, Hughie.

Hughie had a serious brain condition his doctors considered manageable. He was supposed to be fine.

Tragically, the odds struck for the worst and Hughie, 3 years old at the time, suffered a brain hemorrhage last year that he did not survive.


It's a heartbreaking story, but Hughie's memory lives on. Pringle says he's "realised more than ever how precious life is."

He wanted to help other parents appreciate the fleeting and fragile nature of life. So Pringle came up with 10 things he's learned since his son passed.

"I was actually putting my little girl to bed one night and lying with her. It was then I wrote it," he says. "All things I've been thinking about and it just flowed."

The list reads as fond memories of a short life lived to the fullest. Yet it also serves as a powerful wake up call for any of us who might be missing out on the little moments that matter most.

"You can never ever kiss and love too much," Pringle writes. "You always have time. Stop what you're doing and play, even if it's just for a minute. Nothing's that important that it can't wait."

"Make boring things fun," he adds. "Be silly, tell jokes, laugh, smile, and enjoy yourselves. They're only chores if you treat them like that. Life is too short not to have fun."

You can read the full list in his original post:

❤️❤️The 10 Most Important Things I've Learnt Since Losing My Son 🙏1. You can never ever kiss and love too much. 2....

Posted by Richard Pringle on Wednesday, August 23, 2017

The post went viral and struck a nerve with parents everywhere who saw themselves in Pringle's words.

We're all tired from work, stressed from thinking about bills, and constantly scanning the house for what needs to be cleaned or fixed up. It becomes so easy to miss what's right in front of us — moments with our kids that can never be recreated. All the other stuff? It can wait.

It's not just for parents. Everyone could stand to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, a little more often.

"There's beauty in the simple things," Pringle says. "Things that often within our busy destructed lives go unnoticed. There's real beauty in simplicity and I feel we all need to realize this."