upworthy
Motherhood

Overwhelmed new mother hears the perfect parenting advice from her mom on doorbell cam

Monica Murphy was just one month into welcoming her third child into the world.

mom doorbell cam, doorbell cam, moms, motherhood, parenting
@monica_murphy/Instagram

Sometimes mom knows just what to say

“How on earth can one person do it all?” This is a question so many mothers ask themselves. Especially after giving birth, when life seems to expect them to take care of their newborn, get their body back, return to work and keep a clean house all at the same time.

It’s a question that had completely overwhelmed Monica Murphy, only one month into welcoming her third child, while still recovering from a C-section and taking care of her other children, who were also nursing, according to Today.com. Luckily for Murphy, her mom had the perfect piece of advice to ease her troubled mind. And luckily for us, it was all caught on the family’s doorbell cam.

In a now-viral Instagram post, Murphy wrote her formidable to-do list, which included:

Working

Staying present on social media

Maintaining a clean home

Tandem breastfeeding

Being present with my kids

Eating a nutritious diet

Making time for my husband

Keeping in touch with friends

Making time for myself

Planning activities for kids

Frick decorate for Christmas

Followed by that burning question: “How on earth can one person do it all?”

Of course, Murphy hadn’t expressed any of these stresses to her mom, who had been visiting. But still, her mom knew something heavily weighed on her daughter's mind.

So, as she was walking out, Murphy’s mom left her with these words of wisdom:

“They aren’t gonna remember a clean house, they are gonna remember how much you loved them and hung out with them.”

Murphy told Today.com that she “broke down” crying after her mom had left, and was instantly inspired to share the video for other moms who needed similar encouragement.

Indeed, the message struck an emotional chord with thousands of viewers.

“The way I would’ve just bawled if she said that to me,” one person commented.

Another added, “I needed to hear this today.”

Some shared how it was a sentiment they sadly would never hear from their own mothers, and how they are now re-parenting themselves.

“My mom would just nag I’m lazy and how am I supposed to leave my house a mess. So I’m just easing my anxiety with gentle words from other people’s mothers. As I’ve been doing my whole life. Clean house was above happy children,” one person wrote.

It can be so easy for moms to lose themselves in the never ending cycle of responsibilities and, frankly, unrealistic societal expectations. But hopefully this sweet message can help moms everywhere go a bit easier on themselves, and actually enjoy the time they have with their kids. That’s part of what family is all about, after all.


This article originally appeared a year ago.

This week's happy things include saving the environment, sibling love, and the most incredible birdcalls you've ever heard.

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Wanna know what we’re thankful for this week? The Internet. It truly is a gift that keeps on giving us the best of humanity every single week—and Thanksgiving week is no exception. Check out these five things we’ve found that are guaranteed to make you smile (and maybe even shed a few happy tears).

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This kid's incredible knack for birdcall

@diabetic4one This is Samuel’s bird call performance at his schools talent show. He loved every minute of this #autism #birder #fypage #talent #agt ♬ original sound - lori

We dare you to find a better impressionist than ten-year-old Samuel Henderson, this ten year old student from Oklahoma City. Samuel, who has autism, has mastered over 50 different bird calls and performed several of them at his school’s talent show recently. These calls were so accurate that scientists at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology reached out to Samuel and invited him to their lab to study birds. We couldn't be happier for him. (Also the way he throws these birds over his shoulder when he’s done with them—perfection.)

2. Protecting America's most treasured places.

Subaru Share the Love Event and National Park Foundation

Good news for national parks! As the largest corporate donor to the National Park Foundation, Subaru has protected over 400 national parks throughout the Subaru Share the Love Event. What’s more, Subaru and its retailers will donate a minimum of $300 to charities like the National Park Foundation, helping preserve and protect the national parks for future generations.

3. This adorable brother-sister dance.

When six-year-old Harper couldn’t find a partner for her dance studio’s annual summer showcase, her 14-year-old brother Micah stepped in to save the day. The two performed an adorable “Barbie and Ken” themed routine, complete with an adorable fist bump and a lift. What a gentleman.

4. A high school football team cheers on the band kids.

Cue the happy tears: A group of football players at American Fork High School in Utah showed up to cheer on the band kids at a recent competition. Their coach, Aaron Behm, encouraged his team to start showing up to support after noticing a divide between the football players and the marching band. In an interview with Today.com, Behm said, “They come and play at our games and provide an awesome environment, and they deserve our support.” Now that’s sportsmanship.

5. This heartfelt exchange between neighbors

This neighborly exchange captured on camera doorbell footage is the perfect antidote for everyone who’s been feeling like the country is seriously divided lately. On her way to a Muslim funeral, one neighbor stopped by her Muslim neighbor’s house for advice on what to wear. Not only does the Muslim neighbor give her a demonstration on how to wrap her headscarf in real time, the neighbor lets the woman keep the item. Beautiful.

For more reasons to smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

Kids

Teachers share how different students are in 2024 than when they first started teaching

So many teachers got brutally honest about the struggles they've been facing in the classroom.

Things have changed. And not necessarily for the better.

The country is experiencing a major teacher burnout right now, and has been for quite a while. Obviously, COVID only exacerbated issues that were already present. But beyond dealing with grossly low wages, a neverending list of extra responsibilities and battling against phones for attention…there’s a more existential shift in students that’s making teachers become both disillusioned with their vocation, and concerned about this younger generation.

Recently, someone considering becoming a teacher asked other more experienced educators on Reddit to share "biggest difference you see in kids from the time you started teaching to right now in 2024?" The responses offer a bluntly candid glimpse of some of the challenges faced in schools today—but there are also some positive nuggets thrown in.

Below are some of the top answers.

1. "Level of curiosity... [it's] almost non-existent today. When I started in the '90s, there were always a handful of students in every class that wanted to know 'Why?' but in recent years, it's either 'Just tell me the answer' or 'Who cares? Just mark it wrong.'"—u/Pretend_Screen_5207

2. "I can't show movies or videos anymore because it is all boring to them. It is boring because they have Netflix on their phone and they can watch whatever they want at any time. It isn't special to watch a movie. "—u/Ferromagneticfluid

3. "Fine motor skills seems to be way down. I teach instrumental music, and kids [being able to figure] out where to put their fingers and how to maneuver them has gone way down since COVID."

classroom, kids" Kids [being able to figure] out where to put their fingers and how to maneuver them has gone way down since COVID."Photo credit: Canva

u/eagledog

4. "A huge difference I’ve noticed is it is becoming disturbingly common for parents to explicitly tell their kids that they don’t have to follow school rules. Students are always so smug about it when they say that their mom gave them permission, and then equally enraged when they still receive the related consequence because mom doesn’t make the rules at school…Absolutely could never have been me when I was a student, and this was not a thing when I first started teaching. But this kind of attitude has grown increasingly more common every year."

u/kaelhawh

5. "Kids just seem dumber overall. Could be the area I teach in, but basic math and literacy skills have constantly trended downward here. We keep lowering the bar for interventions because we don't have enough spots if half the school needs math and reading support.”u/Baidar85

6. "Year 22 starts in July. I don't know if I can put it in words, but there's an air that little children have: it's a combination of silliness, joy, fearlessness, creativity, curiosity, imagination, and sweetness. Occasionally some naughtiness creeps in but it's all very innocent...I've taught K-1 most of my career and while many little kids still have all of these qualities, it's astonishing how many kids don't. You hand them a piece of paper and they say, 'I don't know what to draw,' or 'I don't like to color. You put on a silly dancing song and they not only refuse to stand up, they sit there whining 'This is BORING.' The water during science turns blue and they say 'Whatever.'


teachers, teaching"They've just... lost a huge developmentally appropriate part of their childhoods. It's going to have long-lasting societal repercussions."Photo credit: Canva

I think they're growing up too fast... They're afraid of looking silly or getting dirty or drawing attention to themselves by asking a question. They'd rather be on their phones more than anything in the whole wide world, but since they're at school, a Chromebook will do. If they're asked to do something challenging or ‘boring' they'll run to the counselor to complain about their big feelings so they can get access to a screen to 'calm down.' My kids are 5 to 8, generally, and they've just... lost a huge developmentally appropriate part of their childhoods. It's going to have long-lasting societal repercussions."u/azemilyann26

7. "I’ve moved schools so I’m gonna have a rare opinion; they got much better in every area possible. Smarter, kinder, more respectful, self-aware, less entitled."u/swift-tom-hanks

8. "I just finished year 34, all in upper elementary and middle school. Back in the day, I'd have one or two kids in a class who didn't give a flying f**k and who did literally nothing. Now it can be a third of the class. It's mind-blowing. I will have several assignments over the course of a trimester where less than half of the class will get the thing done and turned in. Nearly every assignment will have a couple of kids who write their names on it and then turn in blank pieces of paper."

u/DerbyWearingDude

9. "I've been in early childhood [education] for 10 years now, [and] was a sub for about five years before that. What I've noticed since COVID is a profound lack of social skills. Not just a lack of curiosity or emotional dysregulation, which I've seen in spades, but an inability to play or talk or cooperate with other kids. Each kid is their own little island and they have zero interest in visiting other islands. "I've literally had to teach 5-year-olds how to play basic 'toss the ball' games or work together to build a wall of blocks' whereas before, they would be coming up with wacky 'Calvinball' type games on their own and pulling everyone under four feet tall into the game with barely any effort. Now, I might as well be trying to teach them physics in Klingon."

u/the_owl_syndicate

10. "Their handwriting is…comically big, completely illegible, letters not formed correctly, not within lines/margins if it's on loose leaf paper - straight up looks like a 1st grader wrote it. And this [is] junior high...Sometimes I feel so frustrated at them not getting incredibly basic art concepts and techniques, such as copying a similar value/line/angle or whatever, then realize they can't even write a letter 'g 'correctly, and it makes sense."

handrwiting for kids, kids development"Their handwriting is…straight up looks like a 1st grader wrote it. And this [is] junior high."Photo credit: Canva

u/_crassula_

11. "The maturity level has been reduced about three or four years since I started in 1990."—u/Felixsum

12. "As an English as a foreign language teacher, here's a positive one: the internet/phones/tablets have made English accessible for EVERYONE. "Even in countries like Egypt where the parents speak no English at all, I'm noticing their kids have a great base level just from playing on their phones. It's pretty cool! Even young kids know quite a bit now."

u/Accomplished-War1971

13. "When I sub, I rarely see students reading books or drawing for fun (even in art class); they mostly use their laptops/phones to listen to videos or play games…But even more baffling are the ones who are told to put devices away [and] just sit in complete and total silence and do nothing but stare at the desk the entire class. They don't do worksheets, they don't do homework, they don't draw; nothing."—u/Seamilk90210

14. "Been teaching middle school for 12 years. Kids are now testing lower than ever. I’d say I have around 10-15 middle schoolers that are testing at a 1st-3rd grade level. Students also lack the ability to be resourceful and persevere. They give up the moment something gets too difficult."

why teachers quit"They give up the moment something gets too difficult."Photo credit: Canva

u/TraditionalSteak687

15. "At the start of my career, on days leading up to and day of an assessment, my mornings would be absolutely devoured by students seeking extra help. Like, a full hour before the first bell I'd be circulating around answering questions and I would have to make a turn order and consolidate kids who had the same questions. Last three or so years? Absolutely silent. One kid might come in and ask me one question they didn't really need to ask and just want some reassurance."—u/enigma7x

…and let's end with a sweet one to remember it's not all terrible...

16. "28 years of experience... It's genuine kindness. Kids are so much more kind now than they were when I started in the '90s. They are so accepting of kids of different races, gender identities, [and] intellectual differences like autism. 'Accepting' isn't even a strong enough word. Kids [who] would be in such different social circles due to peer pressure in the '90s are friends now. I'm a straight white guy [who] was in high school in the '80s. I wish I was brave enough then to be as kind as kids are now.I have plenty of complaints about phone addiction or the inability to multiply 5x4 without a calculator, but this is the most kind generation of students I've ever taught."u/scfoothills


This article originally appeared in August.

The generational caption debate is a big deal.

If you’re a Gen Xer or older, one surprising habit the younger generations developed is their love of subtitles or closed-captioning while watching TV. To older generations, closed-captioning was only for grandparents, the hearing impaired, or when watching the news in a restaurant or gym.

But these days, studies show that Millenials and Gen Z are big fans of captions and regularly turn them on when watching their favorite streaming platforms. A recent study found that more than half of Gen Z and Millenials prefer captions on when watching television. It’s believed that their preference for subtitles stems from the ubiquity of captioning on social media sites such as TikTok or Instagram.

This generational change perplexed TikTokker, teacher and Gen X mother, Kelly Gibson.

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

@gibsonishere

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

"I have three daughters, and they were here. Two of them are young millennials; the other one is an older Gen Z," Gibson explained in a video with over 400,000 views. "All of them were like, 'Why don't you have the captions on?'”

The mother couldn’t believe that her young kids preferred to watch TV like her grandparents. It just did not compute.

"My Gen X butt was shocked to find out that these young people have decided it's absolutely OK to watch movies with the captions going the whole time," she said jokingly.

But like a good mother, Gibson asked her girls why they preferred to watch TV with captioning, and their reason was straightforward. With subtitles, it’s easier not to lose track of the dialog if people in the room start talking.

"They get more out of it," Gibson explained. "If somebody talks to them in the middle of the show, they can still read and get what's going on even if they can't hear clearly. Why are young people so much smarter than us?"

At the end of the video, Gibson asked her followers whether they watch TV with subtitles on or off. "How many of you out there that are Millennials actually do this? And how many of you Gen Xers are so excited that this is potentially an option?" she asked.

Gibson received over 8,400 responses to her question, and people have a lot of different reasons for preferring to watch TV with captions.

“Millennial here. I have ADHD along with the occasional audio processing issues. I love captions. Also, sometimes I like crunchy movie snacks,” Jessileemorgan wrote. “We use the captions because I (GenX) hate the inability of the movie makers to keep sound consistent. Ex: explosions too loud conversation to quiet,” Lara Lytle added.

“My kids do this and since we can’t figure out how to turn it off when they leave, it’s become a staple. GenX here!” Kelly Piller wrote.

The interesting takeaway from the debate is that anti-caption people often believe that having writing on the screen distracts them from the movie. They’re too busy reading the bottom of the screen to feel the film's emotional impact or enjoy the acting and cinematography. However, those who are pro-caption say that it makes the film easier to understand and helps them stay involved with the film when there are distractions.

So who’s right? The person holding the remote.


This article originally appeared in January.

Where is the third dog in this photo?

Optical illusions are wild. The way our brains perceive what our eyes see can be way off base, even when we're sure about what we're seeing. Plenty of famous optical illusions have been created purposefully, from the Ames window that appears to be moving back and forth when it's actually rotating 360 degrees to the spiral image that makes Van Gogh's "Starry Night" look like it's moving.

But sometimes optical illusions happen by accident. Those ones are even more fun because we know they aren't a result of someone trying to trick our brains. Our brains do the tricking all by themselves.

The popular Massimo account on X shared a photo that appears to be a person and two dogs in the snow. The more you look at it, the more you see just that—two dogs and someone who is presumably their owner.

But there are not two dogs in this picture:

There are three dogs in this picture. Can you see the third?

Full confession time: I didn't see it at first. Not even when someone explained that the "human" is actually a dog. My brain couldn't see anything but a person with two legs, dressed all in black, with a furry hat and some kind of furry stole or jacket. My brain definitely did not see a black poodle, which is what the person actually is.

Are you looking at the photo and trying to see it, totally frustrated?

The big hint is that the poodle is looking toward the camera. The "hat" on the "person" is the poodle's poofy tail, and the "scarf/stole" is the poodle's head.

Once you see it, it fairly clear, but for many of us, our brains did not process it until it was explicitly drawn out.

As one person explained, the black fur hides the contours and shadows, so all our brains take in is the outline, which looks very much like a person facing away from us.

People's reactions to the optical illusion were hilarious.

One person wrote, "10 years later: I still see two dogs and a man."

Another person wrote, "I agree with ChatGPT :)" and shared a screenshot of the infamous AI chatbot describing the photo as having a person in the foreground. Even when asked, "Could the 'person' be another dog?" ChatGPT said it's possible, but not likely. Ha.

One reason we love optical illusions is that they remind us just how very human we are. Unlike a machine that takes in and spits out data, our brains perceive and interpret what our senses bring in—a quality that has helped us through our evolution. But the way our brains piece things together isn't perfect. Even ChatGPT's response is merely a reflection of our human imperfections at perception being mirrored back at us.

Sure is fun to play with how our brains work, though.


This article originally appeared in January.

Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon. A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.

"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

This article originally appeared in August "I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.


This article originally appeared in August

Prince performing at Coachella in 2008.

Late last month, educators and school district officials in Minneapolis, Minnesota came to a tentative agreement that ended a three-week-long teachers’ strike. The agreement put an end to a standoff that closed classrooms for around 30,000 public school students. The strike was the first for Minneapolis Public Schools in 52 years. In April 1970, teachers left the classrooms and grabbed picket signs for a historic 20-day standoff. At the time, the teachers took a huge risk because public employees were banned from striking.

“The moment they picked up a placard and set foot on the pavement to join a demonstration, they had violated state law,” Dr. William Green, an Augsburg University history professor, told WCCO. Although the teachers eventually returned to work without a pay raise, the strike prompted the state to give public workers the right to bargain collectively.

As part of its coverage of the 2022 strike, Minneapolis CBS affiliate WCCO hunted down some archival footage of the 1970 demonstrations to show the common themes between both movements. WCCO Production Manager Matt Liddy dug up 13 minutes of restored footage from the original strike in the station vault to use in his new report.

The footage included a reporter interviewing schoolchildren as teachers picketed near a school. Liddy was shocked when he noticed that one of the children being interviewed looked a lot like Minneapolis and worldwide music icon Prince. In 1970, the artist was known as Prince Nelson.

“I immediately just went out to the newsroom and started showing people and saying, ‘I’m not gonna tell you who I think this is, but who do you think this is?’ And every single person [said] ‘Prince,’” Liddy said.

The newsroom didn’t have the correct equipment to hear the recording, so it found a specialist to extract the audio of the interview.

“I think they should get a better education too cause, um, and I think they should get some more money cause they work, they be working extra hours for us and all that stuff,” the child suspected to be Prince said.

It’s pretty clear why Liddy thought the child in the footage was Prince. The kid physically resembles Prince and his smile is definitely reminiscent of the “Raspberry Beret” singer.

Unfortunately, the child doesn’t say his name to the interviewer. But one of his friends in the video enthusiastically announces that he is "Ronnie Kitchen." The news crew attempted to find Kitchen but their contact information turned up dead ends.

WCCO then reached out to Kristen Zschomler, a Twin Cities historian who is also a big fan of Prince. She had collected a large, 100-page document following Prince's rise from Minneapolis to worldwide fame that included pictures of him as a kid.

“I think that’s him, definitely. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I think that’s definitely Prince,” she said.

Zschomler connected them with Terrance Jackson, a boyhood friend of Prince's who played in his first band, Grand Central. When shown the video, Jackson immediately noticed Kitchen and Prince.

“Oh my God, that’s Kitchen,” Jackson exclaimed as the video began. “That is Prince! Standing right there with the hat on, right? That’s Skipper! Oh my God!”

Prince’s friends called him Skipper when he was a kid.

Liddy’s find is an incredible discovery for Prince fans and people who grew up in Minneapolis. It shows that even before Prince was a teenager he had a twinkle in his eye that would become a trademark of his larger-than-life personality. Nobody knows where incredible charisma comes from, but after seeing this footage, maybe Prince was just born with it.

This article originally appeared two years ago.