upworthy

menstruation

Not every woman can wait a half hour to handle a period issue.

There are a lot of men out there who shy away from discussing menstruation with women. But any man who's ever taken a class in basic human biology or had a mother, sister, wife, girlfriend or any other woman in their life should know the basics of how it works.

That's why a mother on the Mumsnet message board was completely "shocked" that her daughter's teacher told her to "hold in" her period. Does he think a woman can hold in her period like it's pee? (Spoiler: She can't. Different point of origin, different muscles, different biological process.)

Mumsnet is a UK website where parents come together to discuss anything from adoption to women's rights. This post appeared under the "Am I Being Unreasonable" thread.

periods, teachers, men not understanding how periods work"Hold it" is not an appropriate response to a teen getting her period.Screenshot via Mumsnet

According to the post, the 15-year-old's teacher prevented her from using the bathroom because he legitimately thinks women can hold back period blood. Or he knows a bit about biology but still decided to put her in the position to be mortally embarrassed.

The mother later said that the lessons last two hours so the girl had a long time to wait before being able to change her pad.

A few parents said that the teacher was correct to say no because students often lie about their periods to get out of class.

"It’s true - girls do use 'it’s my period' to get out. I’ve never had a period myself that would cause instant drowning in a half hour, I must admit," wrote one commenter.

period, menstruation, getting your periodWe Tried To Not Leak On Our Period For A Week GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy

"Unless she is new to starting her periods then I would expect students to make use of time to change sanitary products," shared another. "Eg. Women know if we are a new pad every 2 hours or every 4 etc. Sadly, some girls do use having their period as some sort of get out of jail free card. I agree with him saying just wait half an hour. I think his phrasing was clumsy though."

Some women, however, shared that the nature of their periods would make waiting a half an hour potentially disastrous. Everyone's periods are different, and while some wouldn't have a problem even if it started out of the blue, some would.

"I used to have very sudden gushes and used to have to carry a change of clothes with me as no pad , no matter how super absorbent,would stop me flooding. Ever so embarrassing and very uncomfortable to have to sit and wait before going to clean yourself up. I'm very envious of the women on here who have never experienced it."

"This is ridiculous, I had undiagnosed endometriosis in high school and would have random clotting that meant I would immediately need to use the bathroom Blush. If a male teacher said this I would be absolutely mortified, you should definitely complain!"

"Reminds me of when I was in Venice, I was on my period but use tampons. DH and I are walking down a canal and all of a sudden I look down and realise my crotch is bright red. Absolutely mortified. I must have flooded without realising and there was no hiding it. This was only 2 years ago so I still want to crawl into a hole when I think about it. Women can and do flood unexpectedly!!!"

period, menstrual cramps, menstruation, period leaksCramps and other discomfort are already hard enough to deal with when you have your period.Photo credit: Canva

Most parents thought the teacher did the wrong thing and needs a lesson in basic biology.

"I would be complaining, and I am not a complainer. There is so much wrong with that it's hard to know where to begin."

One poster was irate but completely right about the issue.

"Complain to high heaven! What if she'd leaked everywhere? I bet he'd have let her go to the toilet pretty sharpish. Hold it in? What a jerk!"

Another believes the daughter should have disobeyed the teacher and gone to the bathroom.

"In these situations (where teachers are being idiotic about the toilet rules) I would always tell my dd to just leave and go to the toilet, if she gets into trouble then so be it - I would back her up.

"Trying to deal with a period leak or a dodgy tummy it would be worse to not go to the loo and spend the rest of your school life remembered as 'that girl who leaked everywhere or shat herself' then nipping out of the classroom for 5 mins and maybe getting a detention."

One poster did a great job at re-framing the situation so that the teacher's actions seem even more ridiculous.

"Would it be ok to tell adults when they could or could not take action to stop themselves leaking blood?"

But the $50,000 question is: What subject does the instructor teach?

teacher, period, teacher telling student to hold in her periodHopefully it wasn't a biology teacher.Screenshot via Mumsnet

Bottom line: If a woman says she needs to use the bathroom for "girl reasons"—or any reason, for that matter—best to let her go and save you both some potential problems.

This story originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.


Health

If all men had periods, here's what the ads might look like

Steven Tyler once wondered, 'If men bled, would tampons be free?' He was onto something.

Image created from photo via Pixabay.

A fictional ad depicting a man's feminine hygiene product.

Can you imagine how the world would act if it was mostly men and not women who got their periods once a month?

Yeah, imagine it. If every guy of reproductive age out there had a monthly visit from Aunt Flo (or Uncle Flo, as the case may be), how would it change the way we as a society think of menstruation?

The answer: probably a whole lot.


But most importantly, that weird, uncomfortable, and awkward feeling people get when someone mentions periods wouldn't even be a thing in the first place.

A campaign from WaterAid asked 2,000 people how they thought the world would differ if all men had periods. The answers are telling.

One-third of respondents said they believed guys would openly brag about their periods and congratulate each other over them.

Can you imagine?

How many Likes would that get for hypothetical A.C. Slater? Maybe many.

8 out of 10 respondents thought if men had periods, there would be fewer myths and taboos about them.

It's interesting to think how the stigma would practically be the opposite if most guys experienced a menstrual cycle once a month. Getting your period would turn into a proud and visible monthly moment. There would be nothing shameful about having a period, and in fact, having a period might even become the ultimate sign of "manliness."

Would tampons be taxed as luxury items like they are today? Probably not. Our majority-male lawmakers would understand just how necessary they are. Would men walk around hiding tampons, er, manpons, up their sleeves on their way to the bathroom? Probably not. A third of survey respondents believe tampons would be advertised as "boosting your performance" — sounds like something you wouldn't want to hide.

If men getting a monthly period was considered totally normal, talk of menstruation would be much more in the open, and resources like pads and tampons would be more easily accessed. As Aerosmith's Steven Tyler once said he often asked himself, "If men bled, would tampons be free?"

It all might seem far-fetched, but it brings up a much larger issue.

There are currently 1.25 billion women and girls who don't have access to a toilet during their periods.

The survey responses that include celebrating and bragging rights for men are really quite the opposite reality for women and girls in 2022. Many don't even have access to sanitary supplies, let alone a toilet.

From forcing girls to drop out of school to Donald Trump using a period reference to discredit a GOP presidential debate moderator, the stigma on periods is still all over the place. And it's doing the world no favors.

"One in three women around the world do not have access to a toilet during their periods and having to find a safe place after dark is both undignified and risky," says Barbara Frost, WaterAid’s chief executive officer, in a press release.

"Millions more suffer discrimination because of beliefs that they are 'contaminated' or 'impure'. Stigma about menstruation means women do not seek the help and information they need, while the lack of hygiene facilities in schools is a major reason for young girls dropping out of education when they reach puberty."

That's real, and that sucks.

Using the responses from the survey, WaterAid created short parody ads that envision how the world would would be different #IfMenHadPeriods.

"Every day 800 million women have their period, and yet most of us consider it an embarrassing and taboo subject," says Frost. "There are even elaborate euphemisms to avoid saying the word period. So we have had a bit of fun trying to imagine whether attitudes would be different if men had periods."

Watch WaterAid's parody ad for tampons being sold in a world where men have periods:

You can also watch WaterAid's take on a football match and a male conversation at work. They're great.


Menstrual leave in Spain would allow people with painful periods three to five days off per month.

How people experience menstruation can run the gamut, from minor inconvenience to debilitating pain and discomfort to everything in between. For some, it's a few extra bathroom trips and maybe a little moodiness for a few days. For others, the symptoms can include migraine headaches, dizziness, nausea, diarrhea and cramps that make it nearly impossible to get out of bed.

Societies and cultures around the world have taken different approaches to menstruation, from stigmatizing ostracization to celebration and respect. And generally speaking—other than perhaps putting period product machines in women's restrooms—the professional world simply pretends that menstruation doesn't exist. Employers aren't about to ask about it and considering the uphill battle to get women accepted in many professional settings, most women aren't going to openly talk about it.

But globally, women make up nearly 40% of the labor force, and in the U.S. that percentage climbs to nearly 50%. With so many women participating in the workforce, and with a good percentage of people who menstruate experiencing significant pain and discomfort, it seems logical that menstruation would at least be a consideration of some sort in terms of employment policies.


A handful of countries have officially recognized menstruation as a reason to take time off of work, including Japan, South Korea, Indonesia, Taiwan, Vietnam, Zambia and parts of China and India. According to CBS 8, these countries offer anywhere from 30 extra minutes of break time to multiple days off with full pay for employees whose menstrual symptoms interfere with their work. In South Korea, an ex-CEO made headlines last year when he was fined for refusing to allow an employee menstrual leave, which is protected by the country's employment laws. But the concept isn't new. Japan's menstrual leave policies have been in place since 1947.

Now, Spain is positioned to become the first Western nation to offer people paid time off during their periods.

According to Euronews Next , the Spanish government is expected to endorse a reproductive health bill that includes three to five days of menstrual leave per month for those with painful periods.

The outlet reported that Irene Montero, Spain's equality minister, wrote on Twitter: "We are making progress so that it is no longer normal to go to work in pain and to put an end to the stigma, shame and silence surrounding menstruation. We are making progress on rights."

However, the push for menstrual leave is not without controversy. Members of Spain's government as well as its main trade unions have differing opinions on the measure, with some questioning what constitutes a "painful period" and some expressing concern that menstrual leave will ultimately stigmatize women even more, making it less likely that employers will want to hire women.

Such debates are reflected in discussions among the general population as well. A Reddit post about Spain's pending legislation prompted some lively debates about whether menstrual leave is a positive or negative thing for women in the workforce.

"On one hand I think it's fantastic a woman can take a few days off when she's got her period, I know I'd hate to work with cramps and stuff" wrote one commenter. "But I do worry that it might make business less likely to hire women, and/or women less valuable."

"I'd imagine in the same way that having a kid makes some companies not want to hire women, having them taking 3 days off will further push them to the side of let's find a reason not to hire them," wrote another.

"I don’t think codifying the ridiculous idea that women are 10% less productive than men is a good thing," wrote another.

However, it appears the policy is not meant to be a blanket few days off for all people who menstruate, but rather for those who suffer from severe symptoms.

"It is important to clarify what a painful period is, we are not talking about a slight discomfort, but about serious symptoms such as diarrhea, severe headaches, fever," Ángela Rodríguez, Spain’s secretary of state for equality and against gender violence, told El Periódico newspaper, according to Euronews Next.

In addition to concerns, there was compassion on Reddit for women who suffer from painful periods as well.

"Seems good in theory. Women have the option to use it, but don't have to if their periods aren't bad," wrote one Reddit commenter. "It's a pro-labor market right now, so this is the right time to push for these sorts of programs. My wife gets terrible cramps prior to her cycle. I would like for her to at least have the option to take a day or two off so she can take some Pamprin and curl up in a ball."

"I’m a guy I don’t get periods but I know my mom and my sister particularly my sister gets it so bad she has to stay home from school when that time of the month comes around," wrote another. "And I guess from how I understand it every woman’s period is different from another so I hope this helps those who have severe pain and such."

The post also prompted discussion about how paid sick leave varies from place to place. Some people were shocked to hear that paid sick leave isn't guaranteed in some places (ahem, the United States) and some were surprised that in some places where paid sick leave is unlimited, a doctor has to send a note to your employer for it to count.

Some people felt that if you don't work, you don't deserve to get paid, period. Some felt that an employer has no right to know what your medical status is and if you are sick, you should just be able to say you're sick and be believed. Some complained that people go to work sick and make others sick because they're afraid of losing their jobs.

Fundamentally, if someone is not feeling well enough to work, whether it's due to illness or period pain or other health issues, they should be able to take time off without worrying about their livelihood. That's simply humane. A menstrual leave law may have pros and cons in practice, but at the end of the day, the acknowledgment that some periods can leave people suffering for a few days a month is a good thing, and ensuring that those people have the ability to care for themselves is the right thing to do.

The new Disney+ film Turning Red is starting conversations about women's health and sexaulity

The vast majority of people walking the earth today remember what it was like to be a 13-year-old child. Wrestling with the idea that you’re growing up, hormones are all over the place, and suddenly you want to be more than friends with some of your classmates. It’s a weird and complicated age, but Disney’s Turning Red takes on the challenge with a strong 13 year old female lead who grapples with cultural norms, coming of age and finding her voice. The themes of this movie don’t fall too far from the Disney tradition of displaying coming of age stories in anything from the Little Mermaid to Finding Nemo.

Mei is a 2nd generation Chinese Canadian girl who struggles with regulating her emotions, which is something we can all relate to when it comes to navigating becoming a teenager. The cultural piece is something that really resonated with 2nd generation Chinese Canadian therapists. I took the time to speak with a few therapists to get their thoughts on Disney’s Turning Red.


Jocelyn Lam, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes working with this population said “I loved Turning Red because of the nuanced approach to the mother-daughter relationships across generations in the Lee Family. Mei-Lin grapples with saving face and being a ‘loyal’ daughter to her family, versus embracing a more messy side to her personality and broader range of emotions, which is a common struggle that 2nd generation Chinese teens experience.” Lam went on to express how much she “loved that the story spotlighted how interdependence within Chinese families can result in strength and vulnerability.”

With Turning Red, Disney has sparked an important cultural conversation

It’s clear that Disney struck an important chord by capturing how culture and mental health intertwine. Lisa Ibekwe, a licensed clinical social worker and first generation American viewed the movie and said “Turning Red was a phenomenal depiction of the thin line between culture and intergenerational trauma. It represents how culture heavily influences what we pass down to our children. Many children in general struggle to express their wants and desires to adults, and it’s even harder when there is a cultural gap between their desires and the expectations.”

While the cultural stuff stood out to many who rarely see their culture played out on the big screen, that wasn’t the only reason therapists have been singing the praises of the movie. There are some therapeutic things in there that parents might have missed, but kids could truly learn from. Jocelyn pointed out “the movie showed active coping tools and redirection of thought, open discussion of menstruation, accepting that different emotions can co-exist, a holistic view of psychological happiness and addressing intergenerational trauma.”

Turning Red helps show the importance of talking about sex education with kids 

Jenny Moore Greunke, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker expressed that Turning Red was “such a great example of not feeling the need to change yourself to make others comfortable. Showing that being who you are without shame is healing, even when there may be generations before you who haven’t evolved to your level of emotional intelligence yet. Radical Self love!” Kathleen Hearne, Licensed Professional Counselor said “through openly talking about the traumas and it’s affects can help individuals and generations grow and thrive from those experiences verses it causing continued trauma within the family through hurtful behavior patterns.” Hearne went further to say that “it’s helpful in normalizing that we all have experiences in life that have shaped us and that we can use them to thrive and grow towards our authentic self by being open and compassionate with ourselves and others.”

The themes that Turning Red touches on are so deep and important that it is amazing to see how seamlessly Disney pulled this movie off. Preteens and teens can see themselves in Mei-Lin and learn to embrace their “messy side” while also learning how to regulate their strong emotions through the coping mechanisms so carefully placed within this movie. Hats off to Disney for not shying away from the hard stuff while also giving us tools and healing to move forward when we relate to the film.