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Wife eats last meal her husband made before his death in emotional video

"I'll forever miss his cooking 😭"

sabfortony/TikTok

Sabrina (@sabfortony) eats the last meal her husband Tony cooked for her before he passed away.

Losing someone you love never gets easier, and the grief process comes in waves. One way TikToker Sabrina (@sabfortony) got to honor her husband Tony's memory was by eating the last meal he cooked for her the day he died.

Sabrina shared the emotional video with her followers on TikTok. "I’ll forever miss Tony’s cooking," she captioned the video, adding, "Let's eat my late husband's last meal together."

@sabfortony

i’ll forever miss tony’s cooking #lastmeal #moving #griefjourney #healingjourney #lifeafterloss #partnerloss

It begins with Sabrina holding a small quart-sized plastic container up to the camera, and she begins to describe its significance. "I have something very special here. The day that Tony passed away, I really wanted curry–and I wanted Japanese curry, so I asked Tony to make me some and he did," she says. "I ended up freezing it because I wanted to preserve it forever. But because I'm moving out of state, I need to eat this. I know some of you might think that is crazy cuz it's been over two years. Tony was the primary cook of our family, and so anytime I was craving something he would make it for me. That was one of the many ways that he showed love for me."

She then heats up the bowl of curry so that it is "scalding hot," noting that it has "turned to mush" before she tastes it. "Thank you Tony for my last meal in this home," she says. "And my apologies that I am raw-dogging this–I don't have any rice."

TikTok · Sabrina 🫶🏼

tiktok couple, love story, widow, last meal, emotional TikTok · Sabrina 🫶🏼www.tiktok.com

160.8K likes, 1635 comments. “I never want to forget what we had, ❤️ so I choose to tell our story. My heart breaks for the ones who’ve faced a similar tragedy.”

As she tastes it, she is delighted. "Mmm! Still good," she says. "This has carrots, onions, potatoes, beef, and he put mushrooms in it. Beef is still very tender!" As she gets to the last bite, she says, "Thank you, Tony!"

Sabrina's emotional video got an overwhelming response in the comments.

"🥺🥺🥺 last meal in the home you shared together 🥺," one wrote, and Sabrina replied, "😭 he knew i needed it 💗."

Another wrote, "Just thinking how his hands cut the ingredients and his heart cooked it with love made me sob. What a beautiful moment." Sabrina responded, "so much love 😭😭 it’s so special."

Another viewer commented, "He’s sending you off to the next chapter with love 🥹❤️," and Sabrina replied, "so true 😭 i’m so thankful for that."

Other viewers shared their personal stories of how food connected them with lost loved ones. "I kept my mom’s kimchi for as long as I could. I ate it the night I got my heartbroken and felt so comforted. Food is such a strong connection to those we know we can’t hold anymore," one shared. Sabrina replied, "food really is such a beautiful way to connect with people 😭 i’m glad your moms kimchi was a source of comfort 💗 she is with you always."

Another viewer shared, "When my grandmother knew she was sick, before she told anybody, she baked, cooked, froze, and canned until the pantry and freezer were full. After she died my grandfather ate her meals for a year." Sabrina responded, "what a beautiful soul 💗 caring for the people she loves."

grief
Heroes

A unique voice at a London subway stop remains as an act of kindness to a grieving widow

Is someone cutting onions in here?

Photo by Maria Molinero on Unsplash, John Bull (Twitter)

If you travel on the subway in the London Underground, you'll hear various automated recordings of instructions and announcements for passengers. But at one stop, one instruction stands out from the rest—a unique voice warning people to "Mind the gap."

It's not actually new. The same voice issued the same warning for decades, but was replaced in 2012 when the Underground installed a new digital system.

Weeks later, though, it was back. Why? Because kind Underground workers wanted to help a grieving widow who missed hearing her late husband's voice.


The story of the voice at the Embankment Tube station was shared on Twitter by writer and historian John Bull, and its pure sweetness has people everywhere "cutting onions."

Bull introduced the story about "London, trains, love and loss, and how small acts of kindness matter," then wrote in a long thread:

"Just before Christmas 2012, staff at Embankment Tube station were approached by a woman who was very upset.

She kept asking them where the voice had gone. They weren't sure what she meant.

The Voice?

The voice, she said. The man who says 'Mind the Gap.'

Don't worry, the staff at Embankment said. The announcement still happens, but they've all been updated. New digital system. New voices. More variety.

The staff asked her if she was okay.

'That voice,' she explained, 'was my husband.'

The woman, a GP called Dr Margaret McCollum, explained that her husband was an actor called Oswald Laurence. Oswald had never become famous, but he HAD been the chap who had recorded all the Northern Line announcements back in the seventies.

And Oswald had died in 2007.

Oswald's death had left a hole in Margaret's heart. But one thing had helped. Every day, on her way to work, she got to hear his voice.

Sometimes, when it hurt too much, she explained, she'd just sit on the platform at Embankment and listen to the announcements for a bit longer.

For five years, this had become her routine. She knew he wasn't really there but his voice - the memory of him - was.

To everyone else, it had just been another announcement. To HER it had been the ghost of the man she still loved.

And now even that had gone.

The staff at Embankment were apologetic, but the whole Underground had this new digital system, it just had to be done. They promised, though, that if the old recordings existed, they'd try and find a copy for her.

Margaret knew this was unlikely, but thanked them anyway.


In the New Year, Margaret McCollum sat on Embankment Station, on her way to work.

And over the speakers she heard a familiar voice. The voice of a man she had loved so much, and never thought she'd hear again.

'Mind the Gap' Said Oswald Laurence.

Because it turned out a LOT of people at Embankment, within London Underground, within @TfL and beyond had lost loved ones and wished they could hear them again.

And they'd all realised that with luck, just this once, for one person, they might be able to make that happen.

Archives were searched, old tapes found and restored. More people had worked to digitize them. Others had waded through the code of the announcement system to alter it while still more had sorted out the paperwork and got exemptions.

And together they made Oswald talk again."

According to an article in the Metro, Margaret was also given a CD of Oswald's voice recordings. Beautiful.

Such stories of human connection and kindness are what renew our faith in humanity and remind us that a little kindness can go a long way.

Now pardon me while I go replace my box of tissues.


This article originally appeared on 12.18.19

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Health

5 things I didn't want to hear when I was grieving and 1 thing that helped

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.


In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with triplets.

Image via iStock.

My husband and I were in shock but thrilled at the news after dealing with infertility for years. And it didn't take long for the comments to begin. When people found out, the usual remarks followed: "Triplets?! What are you going to do? Three kids at once?! Glad it's not me!"

After mastering my response (and an evil look reserved for the rudest comments), I figured that was the worst of it. But little did I know I would be facing far worse comments after two of my triplets passed away.

On June 23, 2013, I gave birth to my triplets, more than four months premature.

My daughter, Abigail, passed away that same day; my son, Parker, died just shy of 2 months old. Before then, I didn't know much about child loss; it was uncharted territory. Like most people, I wouldn't know how to respond or what to say if a friend's child passed away.

Image via iStock.

But two years later, I have found that some things are better left unsaid. These comments come from a good place, and I know people mean well, but they sure do sting.

Here are my top five things not to say to a grieving parent — and the thing I love to hear instead.

1. "Everything happens for a reason."

It's a cringeworthy comment for those of us who have lost a child. Sometimes, there is no rhyme or reason for why things happen in life. A parent should not outlive their child. I don't know why my body couldn't handle my pregnancy or why I went into labor at 22 weeks.

This phrase goes along with another I often hear: "God only gives us what we can handle." I remember talking with my childhood rabbi the night before my son passed away, and I asked her, "Why me?" Her response is something I now live by every single day. She said, "God doesn't give us only what we can handle. He helps us handle what we've been given."

2. "They are in a better place."

Instead of comforting, this is a phrase that makes me feel down in the dumps. I longed to be a parent for so many years. And children are meant to be in the loving arms of their parents.

I think I speak for every grieving mother and father when I say, we would give anything to hold our babies again.

3. "At least you have one survivor. Count your blessings."

I like to think of myself as a positive person. But even two years later, my heart still aches for Parker and Abby. And on the most difficult, dark days of grief, it's hard to "count my blessings."

Yes, I am blessed. I have a gorgeous miracle child who is the light of my life. But Peyton should be playing with her brother and sister in our home, not just waving to their pictures and blowing kisses to heaven.

4. "You are still young. You can have more children."

It doesn't matter whether or not our biological clock is ticking. Many people have no idea what couples go through to have a child: Some can't have children of their own; others may face years of infertility or miscarriages. And for people like me, trying for more children may be something too scary to even think about. I came close to death after delivering my children — that's enough to scar me for life.

5. "I don't know how you do it. I couldn't imagine losing two children."

Some days I don't know how I do it either. But we learn how to live with it. We learn a "new normal," and in those tough moments, we celebrate that we survived the day. This comment is a difficult reminder of our grief and the children who were sent to heaven.

So, what should you say to a grieving parent?

Image via iStock.

There are no words to take the pain away, of course, but simply letting that person know you are there for them is more than enough.

For me, the best thing someone can do is to talk about my angels. Say Parker and Abby by name, and don't be afraid to ask questions about them.

While they were only here for a short time, they left a huge imprint on this world. I love talking about my angels, and simply hearing someone else mention them by name is enough to wipe away the grief and warm my heart for days.


This article was written by Stacey Skrysak and originally appeared on 7.15.16

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Pop Culture

Jennifer Garner announces the death of her father with heartfelt tribute and family photos

"Today is for gratitude."

iSpotTV

Jennifer Garner ad father William John Garner starring in a Capital One commercial.

Grief and gratitude might seem to be in opposition to the other, but in times of loss, they both work in tandem to help us process our pain. As the “Ten Percent Happier” blog eloquently puts it, “grief embodies our humanity even as gratitude allows us to embrace pain and hardship.”

Actress Jennifer Garner recently gave a poignant example of this.

On April 1, the “Alias” star took to her Instagram page to share the news that her father, William John Garner, died “peacefully” in the afternoon on March 30.

Though her tribute expressed the loss she felt, it made plenty of space for humor and appreciation for the precious memories she got to create with her “kind and brilliant” dad.

Garner began her caption with a joke, saying, “We were with him, singing ‘Amazing Grace’ as he left us. Did we carry him across or scare him away — valid question.”

The lighthearted moment was followed by a nugget of heartfelt truth. “While there is no tragedy in the death of an 85-year-old man who lived a healthy, wonderful life, I know grief is unavoidable, waiting around unexpected corners.”

Still, Garner noted that “Today is for gratitude,” reminiscing her late father’s “gentle demeanor and quiet strength” his “mischievous smile,” and “for the way he invented the role of all in, ever patient girl dad.”

She then sent thank-you's to the medical staff that helped him during his final chapter, helping him get a few more days to spend with his grandchildren.

“There is so much to say about my dad— my sisters and I will never be done talking about how wonderful he was, so bear with us,” she concluded. “But for today, I share these memories with my appreciation for the kind and brilliant man, father, and grandfather he was, as well as the loving legacy he left behind.”

Along with the tribute, Garner shared a carousel of images of her dad, including a clip of their iconic Capital One commercial spot, where her father got to deliver the famous “What’s in your wallet?” tagline.

Garner aimed to honor her father in her tribute, and she succeeded.

“My heart aches a little because you lost someone so incredibly special, but also celebrates the comfort you must have in knowing what a precious and wonderful human being he was here on Earth. I am now singing to him as well!” one person wrote.

Another added, “What an amazing father and beautiful example.”

It prompted a few to reflect on their own relationships with their father.

“Dads are so precious. Sorry for your loss.”

“A father daughter bond is like no other — I’m so very sorry — sending love and prayers for your family.”

“What a lovely face he had! A wonderful father is a tough thing to beat. I had one too and know in my bones how lucky I was — how lucky you were— thinking of you and sending buckets of love.”

Part of being human means eventually losing everyone we love. We can choose to focus solely on mourning. We can also choose to try to bury the pain. But neither of those options helps us fully experience our own humanity. The hidden opportunity of grief is to feel gratitude at a profound level, as if to say “I am now more fully aware of how precious our time together was, now that it is no longer here.” May we all have the grace to embrace both sides when the time comes.

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