upworthy

goal setting

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Not getting derailed by bad starts by accepting that they're bound to happen.

In many ways, it’s our relationship to the bad days, not the good ones, that have the biggest influence on our success.

Sure, those magical moments when our physical abilities, motivation, energy levels and creativity all just seem to click into place are glorious. But these are never the days when people are at risk of giving up on their dreams. It’s when things get hard, that our vision becomes blurry.

Few folks can attest to this quite like elite athletes. Sure, their physical prowess is next level, but their mindset is every bit as disciplined, and part of the mental fortitude comes from managing expectations.

Recently Olympian runner Alexi Pappas shared a bit of reframing that completely changed the way she viewed her own bad days. And rest assured—this is solid advice, whether you're going for a gold medal, or simply trying to get out of bed each day.


While appearing on the Rich Roll Podcast in 2021, Pappas shared the “Rule of Thirds” advice, which she writes about in her book Bravey, and was given to her by her coach after a particularly hard day on the track.

This was how he defined the “Rule of Thirds”:

“When you’re chasing a dream, you’re meant to feel good a third of the time, okay a third of the time, and crappy a third of the time.”

The Rule of Thirds is a great way to truly assess whether things are in balance. If you’re having too many crappy days, allow for some recovery. If you’re having too many easy breezy or okay days, maybe it’s time to work a little harder. As long as you’re within the ratio, you are still moving towards your goal. No second guessing necessary.

It also reminds us that poor days are an integral part of the growth process, allowing us to accept, perhaps even embrace them. But either way, we are better able to show up for ourselves.

And trust, showing up, even on the bad days, is key. Pappas has experienced this both in her athletic and creative endeavors as a filmmaker.

“On those days, where the creativity doesn’t come or it doesn't feel great…you still show up. Because maybe that’s your crappy day. But it doesn’t mean that you quit the goal. It doesn’t mean you freak out. It means that you show up and live through that dip…because you're chasing a dream.”

We’ve heard a thousand times that progress is not linear. And yet, that bit of wisdom is often the first thing we forget once things aren’t working out and the negative mental chatter starts setting in. So it’s great to know a) that even high achieving Olympians struggle with bad days too and b) we can incorporate the same coping strategies they use into our own goals.

Bottom line: bad days part of the process. Let them be the helpful guides they are along the path to realizing your vision.

If you’d like to catch the full podcast episode, which has a ton of other mindset gems, watch below.

Achieving Audacious Dreams: Alexi Pappas Is Bravey | Rich Roll Podcastwww.youtube.com

Photo by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash

We all need some hope and inspiration.

As 2022 approaches, some of us might be remiss in even thinking about new goals for ourselves. Especially after a soured “2020 vision” and a 2021 that came and went in the blink of an eye. Not to mention the new hard look at hustle culture, the collective burnout otherwise known as The Great Resignation … oh, and a seemingly never-ending pandemic.

So yeah, it’s perfectly reasonable that the once hopeful promise of a New Year’s resolution might have lost its shine.

Still, researcher and author Dr. Shane Lopez discusses why holding onto hope remains a crucial skill. And a learnable one as well.

Resolutions might change to reflect different values—perhaps a resolution to find meaningful work versus working harder, for example—but regardless, this take might offer some fresh insight and reinstill some long-lost vigor. At the very least, it might make hope seem a little less delusional.



In his 2013 interview with the University of Minnesota's Center for Spirituality and Healing and the Life Science Foundation, Dr. Lopez defines hope as “the belief that the future will be better than the present, coupled with the belief that you have the power to make it so.”

He clarifies that where simple optimism or wishful thinking contains only the first belief (a better future), hope has the added aspect of the belief in one’s own agency in the matter.

It’s almost like saying optimism says that a problem can be solved. Hope actively says, “I have the ability to solve this problem.”

Interview with Dr. Shane Lopez

This is in part why hope is the foundation of proper goal-setting. As we set down applicable plans, we strengthen our own agency, thus becoming happier and more productive.

According to Dr. Lopez, “a hopeful student can achieve a letter grade higher that a less hopeful one of equal intellect.”

In many ways, hope and resilience go hand in hand.

Dr. Lopez shares how hopeful people have an innate ability to bounce back after obstacles.

"An obstacle to a hopeful person is an expected challenge,” he says, adding, “then they immediately come up with new and different plans to get around that obstacle.”

Again, hope is a productive state, not a passive one.

Dr. Lopez states that hopeful people are also not shy about reaching out for support or help, to reassess or even reform goals when necessary. His interview indicates that hope is a key trait of problem solvers, not Pollyannas.

How to instill some hope into 2022

Going off of Dr. Lopez’s suggestions, here are ways to become more hopeful (and therefore more happy, productive and resilient, to boot)

Figure out what you’re truly excited about.

We spend a lot of time doing things that we’re not excited about, so when you can find something that does set off a spark, “you’ll receive a flurry of these hopeful thoughts,” says Dr. Lopez. And that enthusiasm in one area can leach into other areas of life as well.

Often, these are the things that give us the most meaning and purpose. Invest heavily in them.

That excitement might not make itself visible right away. And that’s OK. If that’s the case, try following your curiosity instead (Medium has a fantastic article about this). The point is, it has to be something that takes up more real estate than just your head.

Pursue two to three meaningful goals. Not 10-20.

Dr. Lopez shares that many people make this mistake when trying to create change in their life and thus try to pile more on top of an already full, chaotic life. The key ingredients to an achievable goal are specificity, clarity and additive to your life (meaning that it adds something of benefit, rather than taking something away).

I’ve become something of a James Clear brand ambassador these days. He really has the market cornered on achievable goal setting. If you’re not ready to try out his book “Atomic Habits,” he has a lot of great tidbit-sized insight on his Instagram.

Learn by example.

Find the most hopeful person in your life and spend time with them. Dr. Lopez suggests surrounding yourself with these kinds of people will teach you how to come up with multiple plans, overcome setbacks and sustain your energy to avoid burnout. In short, they’ll show you firsthand how it’s done and that it's possible.

I would add that in this day and age, there’s no shortage of hopeful podcasts, audiobooks—maybe even this website you’re reading from right now—that could help support you.

Whether you decide to make that 2022 vision board or simply want to feel better next year, hope might be the first step.