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Dad uses HALT method from addiction recovery for better parenting.

Disciplining kids is a bona fide part of parenting. Redirecting kids when they are misbehaving takes tact and patience.

TikToker Justin (@abetterdad), a dad of three boys, shared in a new video how a slogan from Alcoholics Anonymous has helped him be more patient and understanding with his kids when they're acting out of line. By taking stock of his kids by using the acronym HALT (which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired), he shares that parents can better assess the 'why' behind a child's misbehavior, which in turn can lead to more patient and understanding reaction in parenting.

"When my kids act out, I challenge myself to ask what I missed instead of blaming them and getting frustrated at their behavior," he wrote in the video's caption. "I use the HALT method (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) to assess what's wrong."

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In the video, his three sons can be seen playing on a playground and Justin continues to explain why the HALT method works to prevent him from lashing out at his kids when they are misbehaving. "Most are obvious, but Lonely sneaks up on you. Kids crave connection and often act out when they don't get it."

HALT is an acronym created by Alcoholics Anonymous that is meant to help those in recovery learn to address their most basic needs in order for them to live a healthy and balanced life with the goal of maintaining sobriety. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), HALT should be used "when feeling stressed and then take appropriate action before the impulse to use or reengage in risk behaviors becomes overwhelming." HALT can be defined as:

  • Don't get too Hungry can include an awareness—not only of avoiding being too hungry, but also focusing on healthy eating.
  • Don't get too Angry is a reminder to understand the causes of your anger and find healthy ways to feel and express that anger.
  • Don't get too Lonely is a reminder to connect with safe people, engage in social and recreational activities with others, and attend recovery support groups.
  • Don't get too Tired is a reminder to get enough sleep and rest when fatigued.

HALT, halt method, mental health, AA, mindfulness Stop Right There The End GIF by FreeformGiphy

Psychiatrist and addiction specialist David Streem, MD, with Cleveland Clinic, also adds, “HALT has two physical states — hunger and tired — and two emotional states — anger and lonely. It’s a good balance because you’re taking care of yourself physically and emotionally."

In parenting, Justin encourages parents to implement the slogan in a similar way to better understand why kids may be behaving the way they are, and to address any unmet needs they have before reacting.

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Fellow parents are loving his use of the HALT method to become better parents.

"Is their cup filled? Did they have enough time with you today? That's what I ask myself. They need their cups filled with mom and dad time. Going through the checklist is the best way to go!" one viewer commented.

Another added, "This is going to be of tremendous help. From one dad (whose dad was emotionally distant/abusive/neglectful/etc.) to another, thank you."

Another commented, "What a beautiful time to raise children - we love them so fiercely we find a special determination to HELP rather than push perfection."

With 16 years of sobriety under his belt, Dax Shepard has served as a beacon of hope for people in recovery. With a reset of his sobriety clock last week after confessing to a slip with prescription painkillers, he still is.

The actor has been open about his addiction to alcohol and cocaine, and that transparency and honesty has undoubtedly helped many people through their own recovery journeys. But recovery from addiction is not always a one-way, detour-free road. Even people who have been sober for years must be diligent and self-aware or risk relapsing in ways that are easy to justify.

That's the scenario Shepard described in his recent podcast, in which he announced that he's now seven days sober. For people who struggle with addiction, it's a cautionary tale. He didn't take a drink, and he didn't touch cocaine. His slide into addiction relapse happened with prescription painkillers—Vicodin and Percocet. He started taking prescription pain pills after a motorcycle accident in 2012, moved to taking pills with his dad who was dying of cancer, and then came a gradual spiral of justifications, lying, gas lighting, and other addictive behaviors that enabled him to abuse those pills without acknowledging he was doing so.


Shepard laid it all out to his podcast partner, Monica Padman, last week. The way he was careful at first to only take the pills his wife, Kristen Bell, administered. Then how he'd save his two nighttime pills, because they made it hard to sleep, only to take them the next day with his morning pills to get the high he wanted. How he'd ask himself if this was a slip, start feeling like he was maybe in trouble, then convince himself he had it under control.


He talked about how easy it was to convince himself it wasn't really a problem because the pill use felt "manageable." He knew if he started drinking or doing cocaine, he'd be out of control—he understood those to be unmanageable addictions. But the pain pills didn't keep him from doing his work or his dad duties or his normal daily life, so it was easy to keep using them.

Then he explained how, after more injuries this year, his painkiller use got "shadier and shadier." He started buying pills instead of just using the ones he was prescribed. When he started lying to his loved ones and was high at his 16-year sobriety celebration earlier this month—which he called "the worst hour of my life"—he knew he was in trouble.

So in recent weeks, Shepard came clean to Bell and Padman privately and gave them all of his remaining pills. He spoke to a friend he looks up to, who frankly told him that his biggest character flaw was arrogance, that he basically thought he was smart enough to outsmart addiction. He realized the only antidote to that was extreme humility.

Shepard attended an AA meeting and shared the whole story with them as well. He said it was one of the most powerful experiences he's had ever had.

"So Tuesday really was day one. Yeah. And then, so I went to this meeting and I…man, I've known the men in this meeting for seventeen and a half years because I had many attempts before I got going. And I told my whole story and I told it honestly. And I went first and I was crying and it turned into the most incredible, like, 90 minutes I've ever experienced, where there was just so much love and there was so much understanding and kindness in unconditional love.

And it's the only—there's probably been many others—but it's the only experience I can remember having that was just grace, the definition of grace, and it was very emotional and it was a really, really surreal kind of experience.

And when it was over, I actually mentally, for the first time in a very long time, felt optimistic because for the last while, a long time, I've known intellectually that things are going to get worse, that each encounter with it has gotten more shady and more dangerous, and I recognize that the next go around would be, oh, I can't get pills, let's snort heroin. And, you know, and I've had a lot of friends that I've watched go through this whole cycle.

And I finally have the humility to say I will not be any different, I won't be special, I won't be smarter. I will be exactly like everyone else."

Then he decided to come clean publicly, despite a great deal of fear and embarrassment in doing so. He said he worried about how it affect opportunities for Kristen, how it might impact him financially due to companies that might not want to work with him now, how the bombardment of judgments about what he should have done or could have done might feel, how people who looked up to him for his sobriety might feel betrayed or misled.

He ultimately decided that total and complete honesty was the only way to go. And of course, that authenticity is what his fellow recovering addicts really need to see.


"So if you got more than seven days, you got more than me. So you're my elder and I look up to you," said Shepard. "And, you know, onward and upward for all the people who have been along on this whole journey for the last few years. I feel—and this is not to sound cheesy, but I feel the same responsibility to the people who love the show and are with us, because I think it's such an emotional connection we all have."

Congratulations on your sobriety and thank you for your honesty, Dax. Onward and upward.

You can listen to Shepard's Armchair Expert "Day 7" podcast episode here.

Eminem/Instagram, EJ Hersom/Wikimedia Commons

Drug and alcohol addiction doesn't discriminate. Whether young or old, rich or poor, famous or not, substance abuse crosses all differences and demographics. And addiction is an overwhelming obstacle to overcome, no matter who you are.

Rapper Eminem shared on Instagram this week that he had reached a big milestone in his own addiction recovery—12 years of sobriety. He shared a photo of a 12-year pin, which reads "One day at a time" and includes the words Unity, Service, and Recovery.


"Clean dozen, in the books," he wrote. "I am not afraid."

The rapper and actor had spent years battling an addiction to prescription drugs, which he described to Rolling Stone in 2011. "I was taking so many pills that I wasn't even taking them to get high anymore," he said. "I was taking them to feel normal. Not that I didn't get high. I just had to take a ridiculous amount. I want to say in a day I could consume anywhere from 40 to 60 Valium. And Vicodin… maybe 20, 30? I don't know. I was taking a lot of s--t."

Eminem got sober in 2008, and in 2011 shared with GQ what he had learned from his journey through sobriety.

"The thing sobriety has taught me the most is the way I'm wired—why my thought process is so different...I've realized that the way I am helps with the music. Sporadic thoughts will pop into my head and I'll have to go write something down, and the next thing you know I've written a whole song in an hour. But sometimes it sucks, and I wish I was wired like a regular person and could go have a f--kin' drink. But that's the biggest thing about addiction: When you realize that you cannot—for f--k's sake, you can not—f--k around with nothing ever again. I never understood when people would say it's a disease. Like, 'Stop it, d--khead. It's not a disease!' But I finally realized, F--k, man—it really is."

The star received encouragement from a fellow musician and recovering addict, Elton John, in an interview they did together for Interview magazine in 2017.

"Your sobriety day is in my diary," Elton John told him. "I'm so proud of you. I'm 27 years clean, and when you get clean, you see things in a different way. It makes your life so much more manageable. It seems to have made all the difference—I can tell when I speak to you."

"Getting clean made me grow up," Eminem replied. "I feel like all the years that I was using, I wasn't growing as a person."

Eminem's journey to recovery is like many others who abuse prescription drugs—delayed by denial and dismissal. "People tried to tell me that I had a problem," he recalled in a documentary. "I would say 'Get that f*cking person outta here. I can't believe they said that sh*t to me.'" He would think, "I'm not out there shooting heroin. I'm not f*cking out there putting coke up my nose. I'm not smoking crack," as if only illegal illicit drugs could be considered a problem.

Getting sober isn't easy for anyone, and 12 years is truly a milestone to celebrate—especially during a particularly stressful time in the world.

People in recovery have had to shift the way they maintain sobriety during the coronavirus pandemic. Meetings—a lifeline for many addicts—are having to take place online, which has both benefits and drawbacks. On one hand, attending online meetings might actually be easier for some, since it takes less effort to open a computer and log into a Zoom meeting than it does to leave the house. On the other hand, those human-to-human connections with people who understand your struggles are important, and removing the physical element of that connection changes the dynamic a bit.

Of course, the new stressors of a global pandemic and economic crisis add another layer to recovery. Routines and structure and stability are particularly important for people in recovery, and everything feels pretty topsy-turvy right now. Recovering addicts often feel isolated already, so social distancing poses an extra challenge as well. So if you have friends that you know have struggled with addiction, now is a good time to check in with them.

And if you find yourself struggling with drugs or alcohol, including prescription drugs, or if you feel like you're slipping into something beyond your control, there is support at your fingertips. Reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit https://findtreatment.gov/.

In high school, Tiffany Jenkins was cheerleading captain and student body president. Then she became a drug addict.

As a popular student with good grades, Jenkins was hardly the girl people would vote "most likely to end up strung out on the floor of a jail cell." But that's where she ended up in 2012, at the low point of her opioid addiction.

Now five years sober, the mother of three has a popular blog, Juggling the Jenkins, where she blends mom humor with stories of addiction recovery. The unlikely combo has helped her gather more than a million Facebook followers in less than a year.


This former opioid addict never dreamed she would become a viral Facebook sensation and inspire othersThis hilarious mom vlogger hopes to use her platform to inspire those battling addiction that there is a life after drugs. https://bit.ly/2HP4e8l
Posted by Circa on Thursday, May 3, 2018

In this video from Circa, Jenkins explains how she uses her humor videos to draw people in. "They're like, 'Oh my gosh, I love this girl, she's so funny,' and then they get to my page and find out that I'm a drug addict, and they're like, 'Whoa, wait a minute. This is not what I think of when I think of drug addicts.'"

She uses her platform to share her story as well as stories of recovery and hope from others.

Jenkins started drug rehab after a 120-day jail stint, inspired by her father who had recently entered rehab for alcoholism. Then she got pregnant.

"I had been clean for 10 months and living in a halfway house when I got pregnant with my son," she says. "I already had a good foundation of recovery, but knowing that a little human was growing inside me and would depend on me from now until forever gave me a motivation and determination I didn't know I had to keep going."

Now, her three kids keep her focused on the life she wants to live — one that isn't ruled by drugs or alcohol.

"My children, their laughs, their tantrums, their sleepy morning eyes — I just have so much gratitude in my heart," she says. "I was given a second chance at life, and my children are a constant (oftentimes noisy) reminder."

Jenkins' willingness to share her story has inspired thousands. And she's opened her platform for others to share their own recovery stories. "If more people shared their truth — even the ugly parts," she says, "so many more people would realize they aren't alone, and the shame and guilt they have been carrying does not have to be carried alone."

I'm gonna be honest with you, man... I'm tired.Not in a sleepy way; in an "I feel paper thin, because I'm being...
Posted by Juggling The Jenkins Blog on Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Jenkins puts a fresh face on drug addiction recovery — and offers a refreshing perspective on what it means to be an addict.

I met Jenkins recently at the Mom 2.0 Summit conference, where we ended up at the same dinner table. Her humor flowed from her effortlessly (she really is incredibly funny), but it was her nonchalant openness about being a recovering drug addict that was compelling.

And that's really the whole point of her blog: Addiction doesn't have a stereotype.

According to the Center on Addiction, addiction and substance abuse affect more Americans than heart conditions, diabetes, or cancer. If 40 million Americans ages 12 and older have substance problems, there's a very good chance we all know an addict.

And for those who are dealing with a loved one's addiction, hearing from people who have successfully made it to the other side can feel like a vital lifeline.

What she wants people to know about addiction is real, honest, and heartfelt.

"There is a lot of anger and hatred toward addicts," says Jenkins, "and to be honest, it's completely understandable. Addiction makes us do terrible things. It turns us into liars, thieves, manipulators, and criminals. The thing is, not one single one of us raised our hand on career day and said 'I want to be an addict.' This was never part of the plan."

Jenkins says that sympathy and coddling don't help addicts recover. She explains: "What we need is love, emotional support, and empathy. Many addicts never come forward with the truth of their situation — a crucial step in getting help for themselves — for fear of ridicule, hatred, and loss of familial relationships. We have to break the stigma and create an open, productive dialog. Because there is no such thing as a lost cause. Anyone currently in the midst of addiction absolutely can get clean and have a wonderful life — but they can't do it alone."

Thanks to Jenkins and people who share their stories on her site, more people with addiction will know they're not alone.

You can read stories of addiction recovery on Jenkins' Recovering Beautifully blog. If you or someone you know are struggling with substance abuse, call (800) 662-HELP (4357) or check out addiction recovery resources at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

Correction 7/30/2018: This story was updated to reflect Jenkins is a mom raising three kids.