Sober woman shares the 1-minute psychological trick she uses to stop alcohol cravings
Can you really have "just one"?
A woman having a whiskey and another with a tape player
For people who have problems with alcohol, it’s nearly impossible to go out and have “just one” drink. After one drink, their inhibitions are lowered, which leads to drink two, drink three and then it’s off to the races. Chances are the following day will be one of regrets and consequences.
A TikTok user named Danielle, also known as the Sober Rebel, who has been sober for over five years, has a practice she uses to make sure she doesn’t fall for the “just one” trick her alcoholic mind plays on her.
“Alcohol cravings can legit hijack your brain and overtake your mind, leaving you feeling super powerless in that moment. Because in that moment, the desire to drink can be larger than your initial intention to not drink alcohol in the first place,” Danielle says in the video with over 675,000 views. “So we're gonna walk through a little visualization and we're gonna talk about this powerful exercise that is called playing the tape forward.”
Danielle plays out a scenario where you go out with your friends but don't want to drink because you're going hiking the next day and want to be fresh as a daisy. However, when you get to the restaurant, everyone is having a great time and you crave a drink.
“In that moment, you have to decide, like, are you gonna drink or are you gonna stick to the initial plan?" Danielle asks.
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When people who don’t want to drink are tempted to have “just one,” Danielle’s one-minute exercise can be a lifesaver. She says before you buy that martini, you should play out the scenario that will unfold if you have the drink, like a “movie unfolding in front of you.” But in this film, the drink is the focal point.
“So, based on your previous experiences with alcohol, what happened? Do you stop at one drink, or do you have two drinks and then like your inhibitions kinda go out the window and then you're like, f**k it, I'm going to have more?” she asks. Eventually, in Danielle’s scenario, the evening ends in complete debauchery and you wake up the following day with a pounding headache.
“Then you wake up the next morning and you are ridden with anxiety. Maybe the lights are still on because you passed out and all of your clothes and you have a pounding headache and then any plan that you had went out the window,” she concludes the scenario.
Then you ask yourself the question: Is the instant gratification of having this drink enough to justify the pain I will most likely face tomorrow morning?
Playing the tape forward isn’t just a technique people use in recovery. It’s a cognitive-behavioral tool that psychologists use to help people improve their decision-making in various scenarios. According to The Daily Sober, the practice gives us a clear idea of what may happen when we make terrible decisions and that one minute also buys us some time to let the craving pass.
“By vividly imagining these outcomes, we can gain a more transparent, more comprehensive perspective of the ramifications of our decisions,” The Daily Sober writes. “This process of 'Playing the tape through' brings a sense of clarity, enlightening us about the potential consequences of our actions. It helps grind our decision-making rather than being swayed by momentary impulses or cravings."
The TikTok video resonated with many of Danielle's followers trying to stay sober.
“I’m 9 months sober, but sometimes it comes knocking loud. But playing the tape right through instead of the trailer is key. Cuz the trailer looks great, but the movie looks tragic,” one commenter wrote. “Playing it forward, I learned this a few years back, a great way to stay sober,” another added.
“86 days today for me! This is incredibly good advice. Those cravings are liars, so shining a light on them is super helpful,” another commenter wrote.
It takes more than one behavioral technique for someone with a severe drinking problem to get sober. But, for those who want to stop drinking or at least be more intentional with their use, the more tools available, the better. That’s why it’s beautiful that Danielle has shared the play-the-tape-forward strategy on TikTok. Hopefully, it'll result in fewer of us falling victim to the “just one” trick our minds play on us.
Sure, having that drink will bring you instant gratification, but it can also be the starting point for an evening you’ll regret when the sun rises.
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Honestly…where's the lie?
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
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Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."