+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Health

Caring for your mental health after giving birth is about more than postpartum depression

postpartum depression, mental health
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Depression and other mental health issues after giving birth are more widely recognized.

Nowadays, postpartum depression is so widely known that people who have never birthed a child know many of the warning signs. But when I had my first child, I was unaware that what I was experiencing wasn’t normal.

I was young, and living away from family who could’ve picked up on the signs. Doctors were not as vigilant then as they have been in recent years. I was given a postpartum depression screening at my six-week checkup, and no one asked me any follow-up questions. They handed 19-year-old me a child and essentially said “good luck.” Now, mothers are screened at every well-baby visit for their child, and if you’re a parent, you know those happen every couple of months, gradually spreading out as the infant gets closer to a year old.

By screening at every well-baby visit, doctors are now catching many more cases of postpartum depression before they become severe. They can prescribe a course of medication or advise you to seek out therapy with a licensed therapist specializing in perinatal or postnatal parents. Doctors, midwives and therapists are all taking the development of postpartum depression seriously, but rarely do we hear about other postpartum mental health conditions.


Having an infant can be a challenging time for parents.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

After giving birth to my fourth child, I began to be concerned that something may be wrong with me, but I was too afraid to say anything. I passed the postpartum screenings with flying colors. I was not crying uncontrollably, I felt deep attachment to my baby and never had thoughts of harming myself or my child. Check. Check. Check. But as the weeks and months passed, I grew more concerned. I was constantly in a deep fear of something being wrong with my child or of me somehow hurting him. I would have awful intrusive thoughts that included graphic images of my son falling from my arms and him splattering like a watermelon.

I was concerned that if I told his pediatrician this, they would certainly take him away and remove my other children. This being my fourth child, I knew what to expect, and this was far outside the realm of normal, so I kept quiet. On one of my visits with my midwife to follow up on birth control, she noted my increased anxiety. She deviated from the standard script when she noticed me tense when discussing the baby. It was the first time I had heard of postpartum anxiety. She didn’t think I was crazy and she was able to normalize it for me, while providing me with medication safe for nursing. I felt a weight lifted that day, but so many birthing parents struggle in silence with postpartum conditions they don’t know exist.

Postpartum can activate other mental health conditions outside of depression and anxiety. Some people experience postpartum psychosis, which can be marked by paranoia, auditory or visual hallucinations, as well as delusions. People can experience OCD as well as exacerbation of other underlying mental health conditions that the person may have been suffering from.

It's estimated that 50-85% of people that give birth will experience a mood disturbance in the postpartum period. It’s important to take note of your moods after giving birth, such as with a mood tracking app. It's also helpful to surround yourself with people who will be honest with you about what to expect after birthing a child. Building your support system before your child is born can help alleviate some of the stress that comes with welcoming a new child into the home. Don’t fall into the trap that society sets up for birthing people: You do not have to have it all together, at all times. Having an equal partner in daily tasks far beyond the first few weeks in postpartum is a tremendous help.

If you’ve recently given birth and are struggling, reach out to your doctor or midwife. They’re there to help and often have a working referral network for therapists specializing in the postpartum period.

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
postpartum depression
Badge
National Geographic Documentary Films
National Geographic Documentary Films
Family

Nat Geo's 'Blink' tracks a family finding beauty while facing blindness as they travel the globe

“Let's go all in and fill their visual memory with as much beauty as we can."

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

True

“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.

However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geoLeo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

From Your Site Articles
national geographic
Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Internet

Nail salon made an ad that's so funny people are taking roadtrips just for a manicure

Nailed it.

Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and without word of mouth it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. This is why many businesses have social media pages to advertise services without having to spend a lot of money on television ad space. Advertising pictures and videos of amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers, but one Canadian nail salon is going with a different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry lays out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "come to my nail salon, your nails will look beautiful." The video doesn't stop there and has certainly having the desired effect.

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough, some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now internet famous, Henry.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a roadtrip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but the service gets them to come back. This isn't Henry's first rodeo at making creative ads, though this one seems to be the one that takes the cake. If you're ever in Toronto and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.


This article originally appeared on 4.30.24

From Your Site Articles
funny nail salon ad
Culture

Dad’s 5-year-old daughter's hilarious answers to his questions have the internet screaming

“Do I have to change my name if I get married? Call me Shredder.”

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way.

Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy.

Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


1.

2.


3.


4.


5.


6.


7.


8.


9.


10.


11.



12.


13.


14.


15.


16.



17.


18.


19.


20.


21.


22.


23.


24.


25.




His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


26.


27.


28.


29.


30.


31.


32.


33.



34.


35.


36.



37.


38.


This article originally appeared on 7.27.21

From Your Site Articles
comedy
Health

Why people are longing for the old Scottish habit of 'hurkle-durkling' to finally get good rest

You might have already hurkle-durkled this week.

Representative Image from Canva

Wondering where she got that rested glow? She hurkle-durkled.

Hurkle-durkle might be the silliest word ever, but it could be the missing step in your self-care.

Hurkle-durkling simply means to linger in bed long past the time when you “should” already be up. It’s a Scottish term dating back to the 1800s—-originally having more to do with sitting in a crouching position either for warmth or secrecy, but eventually taking on a more relaxed and positive connotation.

It’s a word that only the biggest etymology enthusiast would know, had it not been plucked from obscurity thanks to TikTok.

The viral trend seems to have started with actress Kira Kosarin sharing it as her “word of the day,” joking that “I do be hurkling, and I do be durkling and once I’ve hurkled my last durkle in a given morning I will get up, but I’m a big fan of a hurkle-durkle.”

@kirakosarin

hurkle-durkle, u deserve it <3

♬ original sound - Kira Kosarin

Kosarin’s clip prompted others to share videos of themselves enjoying a good hurkle-durkling, blissfully wrapped in their sheets, basking in the sunlight, leisurely reading, etc.

One woman hailing from Scotland even joked, “[The Scottish] knew it was so critical to well-being they made a whole term about it. So no I’m not being lazy or wasting my life. I’m practicing an ancestral right of passage. I’m connecting with my culture and heritage.”

At this point you might be thinking, wait, isn’t this just bed-rotting?

Bed-rotting, another TikTok trend about lying in bed, and hurkle-durkling are similar, but have very different contexts. Bed-rotting has more to do with symptoms of burnout and fatigue, whereas hurkle-durkling is a bit more hygge, if you will. It’s seen as a pleasurable activity meant to promote rest for overall well being. Plus a hurkle-durkle has an end in sight, whereas bedrotting can take up an entire weekend, or longer.

And now matter how silly hurkle-durkle sounds, it could be seriously good for us. Research has shown that sleeping in, even a couple days a week, reduce the chances of a heart attack or stroke by 63%, especially for folks who get less than 6 hours of sleep through the rest of the week. (So, everyone, basically). Not only that, but getting those few extra minutes of shut-eye from hitting the snooze can help increase alertness and boost our mood.

Really, as with any self care practice, balance is key. Experts warn against staying in bed as an everyday practice or to avoid responsibilities an uncomfortable feelings, especially as too much inactivity can worsen feelings of depression. But when done mindfully and moderately, it can be the rejuvenation we long for, that so many of us don’t grant ourselves.

In fact, Kristin Wilson, a licensed professional counselor and chief experience officer, told Yahoo Life that perhaps so many people are leaning into silly, catchy terms like hurkle-durkle because they make rest and self-care, activities many Americans "are hesitant to celebrate and fully embrace,” more accessible.

"Sometimes our bodies just need a break, and we don’t want to feel guilty about taking time to rest," she explained. "Giving this behavior a clever social media name can make it feel more socially acceptable and when it trends and becomes popular, it normalizes the need for relaxation within the community of followers."

So with that, show yourself some love with a little hurkle-durkle. It’s fun to say, and oh so important to do.


This article originally appeared on 2.20.24

From Your Site Articles
tiktok
Internet

Job seeker didn't know to send thank you note after interview, people came to the rescue

"I hate etiquette. It's the most impossible thing for me to learn without someone directly telling me."

Photo credit: Canva

Should you send a thank you note after an interview? People say yes.

Culture and etiquette can change from country to country, state to state and even household to household. There's no hard rule one what's acceptable and what isn't outside of universal niceties that are likely to be appreciated by anyone, such as holding the door open for a stranger when their hands are full. But still, there are a few things that are fairly common areas of etiquette that can trip up someone who has never heard of that information.

One of those areas are going the extra mile to make yourself stand out during the job interview process by sending a note after the interview. Before email became popular, people would drop a prewritten note in the mail on their way to or from the interview. But this practice is something that is taught by someone close to you or even a job coach.

While this thoughtful gesture may seem like a common practice to some, not everyone does it and others simply aren't aware that it's an option. One person took to the internet to yell into the void about not knowing that writing a note could help them secure a job.

"OH MY GOD whyyyy did no one tell me you’re supposed to send thank-yous after interviews?? Why would I do that???

'Thank you for this incredibly stressful 30 minutes that I have had to re-structure my entire day around and which will give me anxiety poos for the next 24 hours.'

I HATE ETIQUETTE IT’S THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE THING FOR ME TO LEARN WITHOUT SOMEONE DIRECTLY TELLING ME THIS SH*T," the person shares on a since deleted Tumblr post.

nicksplat job search GIFGiphy

The old post has recently resurfaced after screenshots of the thread were shared on Facebook by Happy Crispy. On the original post commenters jumped in to rescue the poster, not only sharing their experience with writing notes after job interviews, but one person even created a template for the frustrated job seeker.

The template reads:

"Dear ______: Thank you so much for the opportunity to sit down with you (&________) to discuss the [insert job position]. I am grateful to be considered for the position. I think I will be a great fit at [company name], especially given my experience in __________. [insert possible reference to something you talked about, something that excited you.] I look forward to hearing from you [and if you are feeling super confident: and working together in the future]. Sincerely, @mellivorinae."

Season 3 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy

One person shares how their brother was able to get a paid internship after sending in a quick thank you note after the interview. It turns out the note was the deciding factor according to the commenter. Another advises to send the email within a couple of hours of the interview and not to rely on snail mail. This technique allows the interviewee to still be on the minds of the interviewers when they receive the email.

"As a former professional recruiter and recruiting manager, I can confirm, especially for entry level positions, where you're competing with oodles of people. This little thing can make a difference," someone chimes in with their professional experience.

Someone suggests going further than just sending the note via email by also publicly thanking the company on LinkedIn, being sure to tag them so it piques the interest of Human Resources, ending their comment with, "flattery will get you everywhere...and public flattery might make its way back to their manager, doubly so."

While people were very kind and helpful, some couldn't help but to show frustration at the process around getting a job, with someone writing, "The amount of effort required to get a job that barely pays the bills is friggin ridiculous." Though everyone didn't agree with the idea of needing a thank you note to stand out during your job hunt, others took the time to explain why it can be the deciding factor.

Cat Reaction GIFGiphy

"Yes its a thing. And those who don't agree can easily lose a great opportunity to an average candidate who does this. My father was an executive recruiter for 35 years. He would often say that interviews are only offered to candidates who they already know can do the job. The interview is all about seeing if you are a decent person to work with, or if you're a jerk. Little niceties like thank you notes never hurt and can be the deciding factor between 2 equally qualified candidates," someone writes.

Sending a thank you note after an interview is totally personal, but it's common enough that many people see the benefit of doing so. There's no follow up on if the original poster got the job they were seeking, but the amount of positive energy being put forward in the comments to help them out is beyond wholesome. Maybe all the advice given will help out other job seekers who may not know about this little courtesy.

From Your Site Articles
interview thank you notes
Trending Stories