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People are sharing the simple, three-word advice they’d give their 13-year-old self

Here are 20 of the best responses.

advice for teens, talking to myself, askreddit

via Pexels

What would you tell your 13-year-old self?

The age of 13 is a turning point in a lot of people’s lives. It’s right before you enter high school and begin to be exposed to a whole new world of temptation in the form of drugs, alcohol, dating, sex, smoking and gangs, to name a few.

When you’re a kid you can make a mistake that doesn’t follow you forever. But once the teen years hit, your decisions can have lifelong repercussions.

Imagine if you could go back in time and tell your 13-year-old self what pitfalls to avoid and which decisions to make? A Reddit user by the name kiwipangolin asked the online forum an intriguing question about how they’d handle such a meeting: “You meet your 13-year-old self, but you can only tell them three words. What do you say and why?”

Three words aren’t much, but they’re easy to remember.

A lot of the people who responded wished they could tell themselves to avoid a lifetime of addiction, mostly cigarettes and drugs. Some wished they would have let loved ones who passed away know how much they cared. While others would have let their past selves know their friends or family members were in danger.

There are a lot of people in the Reddit thread who have some serious regrets. While some of their stories are tragic, they also serve as powerful reminders for the rest of us to watch out for our health, look out for those who may be in trouble and to let our loved ones know how much they matter.

Here are 20 of the best responses to the question: “You meet your 13-year-old self, but you can only tell them 3 words. What do you say and why?”

1.

"Don’t fucking smoke." — whateverathrowaway00

2.

"Love dad more." — RealLifeHaxor

3.

"Yes Kimmy California. My sister wanted to move to California near where I was living. My life was really complicated at the time and I really discouraged it. My marriage was a mess and I was afraid it would make it worse. She stayed where she was. About a year later she was killed by a drunk driver. My marriage ended. I would do literally anything to still have my sister here." — purplecrazypants

4.

"Stay off ATVs. Rolled a 4-wheeler when I was 16. Left leg has never been the same." — Cloudkicker91

A healthcare worker chimed in with more information.

"I work in a pediatric operating room in an area where ATVs are popular. Anytime the weather is nice and the kids are out of school, the number of add-on surgeries we have for atv injuries is mind-boggling. 4 year old, shattered femur, ATV rollover. 8-year-old, broken left arm, ATV roll over. 13 year old, ATV ejection, emergency crani. Shattered pelvis, degloving of the leg, brain bleeds, punctured lungs... On and on and on. So much agony. So many kids. It's easily the number one cause of emergent surgery we do.

In my book, putting a kid on an atv is about the same as giving an infant a loaded gun for a pacifier." — YamGroundbreaking953

5.

"Keep making music." — douglas_yancie

6.

"Stop copying others." — Kyndron

7.

"Evie needs help. Maybe then I’ll still have my big sister." — Space GeneralAmerica

8.

"Drugs ruined you." — GizmoTheLion

9.

"Brush your teeth." — mynameisusama

10.

"You are autistic. That’s my three words. That would’ve solved so many god damn problems, knowing who I am." — kelcamer

11.

"Go to therapy." — cornygiraffe

12.

"Stay in school." — Julie-Andrews

13.

"Don't trade Charizard." — facepwnage

14.

"No student loans." — TravelingGleeman87

15.

"Wear a condom." — NicksterPro

16.

"Treat her better." — VinFamous

17.

"Never start gambling." — elegantBullfrog2417

18.

"Exercise, socialize, study." — LesbianStan

19.

"Happiness isn’t linear. Everyone needs to know this at any stage of life but I wish I was told that back at 13, so I would know earlier that life is full of ups and downs, the downs will go back up, tho the ups don’t always last long." — Evangelion-02

20.

"You'll be ok." — Pretenderrender

From Your Site Articles

A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"

Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying

6 can't-miss moments from the Paralympics that show you've been watching it all wrong

It's not inspiration porn. It's elite athletics.

Paula Funnell/Flickr and Chris Karidis/Unsplash

I recently saw someone say that the Olympics are the warm-up for the Paralympics.

After tuning in to some of the coverage, I have to say — they're right!

Research from the UK's Channel 4 showed more people tend to tune in to the Paralympics to see people overcoming their disabilities than to watch exciting sports competition.

While it's great that folks are watching (in record numbers, in fact), respectfully, they've got it all wrong.

When you really sit down and watch some of the competitions, you start to realize that the Paralympics is anything but an afterthought — it is, in its own right, a display of world-class athleticism and skill, not to mention diversity and community and inclusiveness.

Here are some of the most incredible feats from the Paris games so far.

1. This blind football penalty kick that had the world in awe.

Blind football, or blind soccer, is a sport that bears a lot of resemblance to the football/soccer we're used to, except its modified for the visually impaired.

All the participants compete on an even playing field by wearing full black-out masks and must navigate the pitch using only their other senses.

A video of a penalty kick posted by NBC recently took Twitter/X by storm.

— (@)

It's impossible to emphasize how difficult this is.

2. This incredible archery shot that broke the internet.

You just have to watch Sheetal Devi, a 17-year-old from India, nail a perfect bullseye in Para archery. You must see it with your own eyes.

She's the only woman with no arms competing in the games, and the extraordinary display of athleticism as she uses her feet, shoulder, and mouth to fire an arrow is truly hard to believe.

— (@)

3. This unreal one-legged high jump.

A video of Polish high jumper Łukasz Mamczarz went viral on Reddit this week, and it's easy to see why.

It's an astounding display of power and coordination as Mamczarz chose to compete without a prosthetic.

from nextfuckinglevel

Sadly, Mamczarz did not medal in the event. However, American high-jumper Ezra Frech won Gold with a Paralympic world record of 1.94 meters!

4. This world-record shattering wheelchair race.

American Samantha Kingborn brought home the gold with an amazing performance in her 100m final.

She completed the race in 15.64 seconds — an astonishing speed to achieve with arm power alone!

— (@)

(Seriously, just look how fast the athletes are moving by the end. Wow!)

5. This clip that shows what championship-level breakdancing is supposed to look like.

Not to continue piling on poor RayGun, but you don't need a PhD to know that these breakdance athletes are just on another level.

(Full disclosure: This group, Ill Abilities, performed their routine at the 2024 Olympics — breakdancing was controversially excluded from the Paralympics this year.)

Check out the casual backflip done on one leg!

— (@)

6. This video that explains the genius way visually impaired fans can follow goalball.

Paralympic athletes aren't just changing the game on the court or field. The games are also pushing the boundaries for how we can watch and consume sports.

TikToker Lucy Edwards recently shared the brilliant device used at the Paralympic games that allows visually impaired fans to follow along while watching goalball — another sport played completely blind that requires complete silence, as the athletes need to focus on hearing bells inside the ball.

These tactile magnet boards, called Vision Pads, allow people in the audience to follow all the action without the need for announcers.

@lucyedwards
I am still so emotional I was able to do this… I have never had an experience this inclusive with a live event. I came out of the arena and cried like a baby. Vision Pad you are amazing. [PR Event with @Channel 4 @paralympics ] #Paralympics #ParalympicsC4 #AccessibleSport #Sport #Goalball

Meanwhile NFL games can't get basic closed captioning right half the time.

It's time to ditch the idea that the Paralympics are an inferior athletic product, or that the level of competition is somehow watered down from the Olympics.

Thinking of the games as a way for athletes to overcome their disabilities drastically underestimates them as athletes.

Take the time to watch the events and you'll be absolutely astonished with what you see. Not to mention incredibly entertained!

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Joy

The 17 harsh truths about aging that people were never 'prepared' for

"How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down."

via Kindel Media/Pexels

A woman contemplating aging

Many of us feel invincible when we are young, believing we can control the aging process so that we’ll always stay forever young, as Bob Dylan once sang.

But there’s a moment when everyone realizes aging is an inevitable process and that, eventually, we will have to deal with a slow decline in our physical and, quite possibly, mental capabilities. This realization and understanding that we won’t be here forever can profoundly change one’s perspective on life.

Even though aging is inevitable, studies show how we think about the process can significantly impact our longevity. People with a positive view of aging live an average of 7.5 years longer than those without.

Things happen as we age that are impossible to describe to younger people. However, a group of Redditors did an excellent job of explaining the truths about aging that they were not “prepared” for in a recent thread that made a lot of people feel seen. A user named sofiagympixie asked the AskReddit forum, “What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?” and it received over 2,700 responses.

A big takeaway is that many people feel like they stop mentally aging at a certain point, usually in their late 20s. Still, the continued physical aging they experience makes them feel like they cannot relate to the person in the mirror.

Here are 17 of the most profound responses to the question: What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?

1. There is an end

"You start to realize the older you get that the end is closer than the beginning and you still feel like you have so much more to do."

"That moment where you start to get a sense that there is an end."

2. It takes energy to keep everything afloat

"No one prepared me for how much energy and time it takes to maintain everything—like health, relationships, and just staying organized. It’s way more work than I expected!"

3. Mind/body detachment

"How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down. You still feel like the same person you’ve always been, but suddenly you notice little things changing."

"This was such a surprise to me. I really expected to feel psychologically older as I aged. But physically, oh my body has betrayed me... Eyes... hair (gray, but at least I still have it)... back... knees... hips... prostate."

4. The past feels closer than it is

"When you get a flashback of a good memory and you realize that was over 10 years ago."

"When I told my daughter about something I did 24 years ago, I had to pause for a moment."

Time flies isn't just a saying. Psychologists agree that our minds lump time together based on novel experiences. When we are older, the days are a lot more similar than when we were young children. That's why when you're 80, time moves a lot faster than it did when you were 8.

5. Stuck in the wrong time

"I’m 61, and sometimes I feel like this world is not for me anymore. I feel almost like an imposter. For example, I can’t find clothes I like that fit correctly, TV is abhorrent, only old music sounds pleasant, shoes are uncomfortable, I don’t recognize most celebrities or famous people in the news or tabloids, and I don’t understand the need for most new and supposedly exciting products. I’m an educated person, I still work and have an active life. I’m not a recluse. But a little at a time, I feel the world is moving on without me. I finally understand why, in her final years, my mother only watched movies from the 1950s and reminisced about the past more than she talked about the present. Her world was long gone."

6. You lose friends

"If you choose not to have kids, you may end up losing your friends. I turn 40 this year, and my partner and I don't see many folks these days. Parents like to hang out with other parents. And I don't have a grudge, I totally see the value for playdates, etc. But it can be a little lonely."

"To be fair, I have 2 kids and lost a lot of friends because we simply don’t have the time/energy to connect regularly enough to maintain a healthy friendship. It instead falls into an awkward acquaintance stage where enough time passes between communication, and you’re not sure if reaching out to connect comes across weird."

7. Your parents are aging, too

"It's not just you who is getting old. Your parents are getting even older."

"I feel this. Lost my mom 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. 40 now with 2 kids. I get angry/sad at a lot of milestones like my wedding and kids' stuff ‘cause my mom was robbed of them, and I was robbed of her."

8. Time wasted caring about other people's opinions

"It’s so freeing when that old twinge of 'why don’t they like me' pops up, and then I remember that I can not be bothered by that anymore, and magically, I don’t care!"

"Just wasting time in general. No thanks. I want to do as many things as possible!"

9. Your friends die

"Your friends start to die. It's something I never thought about."

10. Time flies

"Man. I don’t even feel like the days are long anymore. I just keep blinking and the weeks go by."

"Yup, wake up, eat breakfast, do a couple things. Wait, it’s lunch already? Eat lunch, do a couple more things, time to prep dinner. Eat dinner, clean up, fix a few things, it’s 9 pm. I guess it’s almost time to get ready for bed? This times 10,000 for me."

11. The monotony sets in

"You will realize that you hate planning meals and making food every single day. It's boring, and it's too easy to fall into monotony. But you have to make lunch again and then plan for dinner again then make dinner again and what do you want to eat tomorrow so you plan for breakfast tomorrow and get up and make breakfast again and then plan for lunch again...."

12. You become invisible to much of society

"I wondered what felt off the last year. Gen Z is everywhere now, and I'm still asking myself when that happened."

13. Adults aren't real

"When you're a kid, you can't wait to 'grow up,' and then you do, and you're still you, just older. That voice inside your head doesn't change, but what you see in the mirror does. Only now you're just older and saddled with bills and stress and all of life's 'surprises.' On top of this, everyone is winging it. Absolutely everyone. Because the idea of order and a civilized society is an illusion. We're all playing by made up rules and making imaginary money and all the rest of it. A one-dollar bill costs just as much to print as a hundred-dollar bill."

14. Priorities change

"Things that seemed so important when you were younger, really are not important."

15. Younger people's reverence

"I'm middle-aged, and a funny thing is how younger people get self-conscious or apologize when there is no need. For example, they will apologize for swearing around me or mentioning something like (gasp) drinking, or drugs, or sleeping around. I think it's funny. Why would being on earth longer make me easier to scandalize? I've seen and done things that would shock them, lol, but to them I'm a very proper-looking classy older lady."

16. Ageism

"Doors start closing once you reach a certain age."

"Ageism is real. I just turned 50 and am in a young person's career (software development). I feel how hiring managers look at me when asked to turn my camera on, during an interview that was going very well and suddenly it's 'we'll get back to you.'"

17. It all catches up

"Things like drinking, eating unhealthily, smoking, spending ... they will catch up. When you're young you think you're different, or you think that when it does catch up you'll be old so who cares, I won't care when I'm old anyway. You will care, though. You'll still be you. Those things won't seem like an issue right up to the moment they are. And then it's too late to take them back."

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Family

A shocking amount of parents admit to feeling baby name regret, study finds

Choosing a baby name is exciting. But also stressful.

Photo credit: Canva

What's in a name? A whole lotta regret, potentially.

When parents choose their baby’s name, they are (hopefully) putting a lot of thought into their decision—weighing out all the pros and cons of how that name would theoretically serve them throughout their entire life. Rather than, say, basing their pick off of a viral TikTok trend. But hey, to each their own.

Still, even the most meticulous parent has a chance of feeling baby name regret. In fact, a recent survey from Baby Center found that nearly 1 in 10 wish they’d chosen a different name for their child.

While every situation is different, there are some reasons why parents might begin to second guess.

Negative Feedback

15% of the 450 moms surveyed said their baby’s name was critiqued or mocked.

"I named my son Kyan (rhymes with Ryan), but every time I introduce him, most people say, 'Like cayenne pepper?'" one mom shared.

An “easier” name was just, well, easier.

Another 11% reported choosing culturally-specific names they genuinely love, but ultimately used an English name in everyday life. No doubt some have had to deal with some folks refusing to pronounce those culturally specific names.

It simply doesn't fit their child’s personality

Ten percent of moms noted that the original name they picked just didn’t seem to gel with the little human they brought into the world.

One mom shared that she tried using her original name of “MJ” for her son for “several months,” but eventually started calling him Maverick Dean, Dean being his dad’s middle name, which fit him much better.

20% of parents felt their baby name choice was “too common.”Photo credit: Canva

Another survey from the UK, created by Mumsnet in 2020, showed that 20% of parents regretted their baby name choice because it was “too common.” While another 20% reported never liking the name, but merely caving in to pressure.

The good news: if there is to be baby name regret, it tends to show up within a month of giving birth to the first birthday. So if you’ve made it that far without any doubts, you’re pretty much in the clear.

Clever Workarounds

Of course, while legally changing a kid’s name is always an option, it is a lengthy one. Which is probably why only 1 in 20 moms reported actually doing it. Instead, many moms (20%) opt for a nickname. Middle names are also a frequent alternative, with 15% of moms saying they prefer their child's middle name.

Expert Tips For Choosing a Baby Name

While baby name regret can’t always be avoided, experts do have some tips for avoiding it.

Professional baby name consultant Taylor Humphrey suggests on the “Tamron Hall Show” that parents make a categorized list of “Names I Love,” and “Names I Hate.”Hall says that parents rarely take the time to do this simple task, which can really help make those preferences easy to see.

On that note, Laura Wattenberg, founder of Namerology and author of “The Baby Name Wizard,” told Today.com that parents could take their list one step further by focusing on (and presumably, writing down) what they love about each name. That alone can reveal a lot about why a name should be a winner.

Sherri Suzanne, founder of My Name for Life, also told Today.com that parents should practice saying the potential name outloud, going so far as to practice introductions, “This is our son ___” or “This is our daughter_____,” and seeing how that feels.

It’s worth noting that while baby name regret is a possibility, it’s still not common. So odds are, you and your little one will be perfectly happy with whatever name choice you come up with. Especially if you do your homework!

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Parenting

Man asks how to help his wife who works full-time with a baby at home and keeps getting the same answer

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash

There are times in parenting where you just feel kind of useless.

You can't carry the baby, take a late-night breastfeeding shift, or absorb any of the pain and discomfort of childbirth.

Sometimes the best you can do is to try to take care of your partner.

That's what brought user u/DietyBeta to the AskParents subreddit with a well-meaning question.

"My wife watches our 1yo, works, and is 12 week pregnant. How can I make her daily life easier while I'm away at work?"

He says that when he gets home from work, he takes over all parenting and homemaking duties.

But yeesh! That's still... a lot to handle. No wonder his wife is stressed out.

A few folks chimed in to pat the OP on the back. After all, it's great to see a dad who realizes how much is falling on mom's shoulders and actively looking for ways to lighten the load!

Some helpful suggestions rolled in, like taking over meal prep and making her easy lunches to heat up, hiring cleaners, or paying someone to walk the dogs.

woman in black shirt lying on couch Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash

But then even more people came in to the comments asking the same question over and over: If mom is working, why isn't the 1-year-old in daycare?

u/young-mommy wrote: "Is the one year old in daycare? If not, I would start there. Working from home with a child gets harder and harder as they enter toddlerhood"

u/min2themax said: "It’s nice of you to be asking how to help her but she really is getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop here. It sounds like she is literally always working or parenting. Sometimes both at the same time. Walking the dogs and making her lunches and prepping meals and doing laundry is all well and good but this is not at all sustainable."

u/alternative-box3260 said: "Have the one year old in daycare. I was in a similar situation and it’s impossible. I was able to breath after that, not before."

And u/sillychihuahua26 wrote: "She’s caring for your 1.year old while working? That’s a horrible plan. You guys need childcare like yesterday."

We have a legitimate childcare crisis in our country, and stories like this one really bring it to life.

Childcare in the United States isn't nearly accessible or affordable enough for most families. Period.

ChildCare Aware found that that average cost of childcare in 2022 was $10,853 per year, or roughly 10% of a median family income (in 2024, it's likely even more than that — yet the actual workers at childcare centers are somehow severely underpaid).

But even that eye-popping number is conservative. Anyone who lives anywhere close to a city (or in California or New York) knows the number will be way higher. It's just not feasible for most families to put their child, let alone multiple children, in full-time care while they're young.

And yet! The percentage of households with two parents working full-time has been rising for decades. Life is more expensive than ever, and the extra income from two working parents really helps, even if it's offset by those child care costs.

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

woman in white shirt sitting on brown wooden armchair Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

Now we don't know whether the OP's family can afford childcare for their 1-year-old or not, although in a later update to the post he wrote:

"As far as daycare, she doesn't want to because she feels like she would be missing out on the time"

So even if you can afford childcare, there's the still the crushing guilt of shipping your child off to be raised by strangers to deal with! Classic.

(Take one guess who shoulders most of the daycare guilt — dads or moms?)

The work-from-home revolution has been a Godsend for parents in certain ways — flexibility, balance, less commuting time — but its also saddled many of them with double duty.

'Hey how about you work full-time because we need the money AND keep an eye on the kids, since you're home anyway!'

But it doesn't work like that, and trying to do both is crushing modern parents.

In fact, the Surgeon General of the United States just put out an official advisory based on the plummeting mental state of today's parents.

We know parents are having a hard time and that it's getting picked up in the national conversation. But hearing about a mom working full-time with a 1-year-old on her hip while pregnant, and a dad stuck working out of the house who's at a total loss for how to make things better really paints a pretty bleak picture.

No one should have to work full-time and parent full-time, at the same time.

A fridge full of microwavable lunches and a fleet of dog walkers isn't going to make it any better until things start changing from the very top.

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