A woman in her 30s is sad.
For older generations, it's hard to believe the oldest Millennials, now 29 to 44, are already nearing middle age. The oldest Millennials could have kids in college, backs that aren't as strong as they used to be, and a real sense of nostalgia whenever they hear a stomp-and-clap song on the radio.
Millennials faced their own set of challenges: growing up in the aftermath of the Great Recession, seeing the cost of living skyrocket as they entered adulthood, and living through a global pandemic. But in their personal lives, everyone carries a regret or two that lingers in the back of their mind as they get older. You can see the moments in your life when things took a turn for better or worse. You compare yourself to friends and family members who may have taken a different route than you.
You see how your needs and limitations in youth led you to make mistakes you'd never make today.
A woman in her 30s is sad.via Canva/Photos
The good news for Millennials is that even the oldest among you are just on the precipice of middle age, meaning there's still plenty of time to turn things around, right a few wrongs, or pursue your dreams.
Recently, some Millennials on Reddit came together to take stock of their lives and share some of their "crucial regrets" so younger people don't make the same mistakes. They've also found solace among fellow Millennials who may have made the same missteps.
Here are 13 "crucial regrets" older Millennials have that serve as warnings for younger people
1. Aging worries
"Worrying about aging in my late twenties. You still have your whole life ahead of you."
2. Focus on friends
"Being more focused on romantic relationships rather than good quality friendships. It can get hard to make and keep friends the older you get."
3. Approach them, darn it!
"If you have a crush on someone, just strike up a conversation. Don't be nervous. Even if the conversation doesn't work out, there will be a tomorrow, and life will go on."
A sad man thinking about his life. via Canva/Photos
4. Sharing your feelings
"Things I never said to my father. He died Monday, and I'm still ruminating over things I never told him."
"Just lost my dad a month ago. I have a lot of regrets. At times, I was rude, dismissive, generally a stupid sh*t to him."
5. Not buying Bitcoin
"Not buying Bitcoin early when someone advised me to."
"Think about this though... Say you bought 100 but coins at $1. Would you really be holding if the price went to $20 a Bitcoin? Or would you have sold that and fixed your car, or bought a new computer, taken a vacation etc...."
6. Having an attitude of gratitude
"The longer I live, the more I think gratitude is really underrated. So if I had to have regret, it would be not appreciating life more."
"Yep, I always try to count my blessings when I think I’ve got it bad. Just try to be thankful for everything I have still."
The poster who waited too long to fully embrace gratitude is correct; it's one of the most significant predictors of happiness. According to Harvard University, gratitude is "strongly and consistently" associated with greater happiness, and those who practice gratitude have better health, experience more positive emotions, handle adversity more effectively, and have stronger relationships.
7. Worrying about other people's opinions
"Worrying what others think. 30+ years old and closeted (hoping to come out soon). But I’ve put others happiness before mine, people pleasing, thinking I’ll be happier based on what they think/feel and it’s not worked for me."
"Currently struggling with breaking free from this. It’s a very hard journey but I believe you’ll get there."
A woman contemplating her life.via Canva/Photos
8. Having kids too early
"Having my kids when I did. I don’t regret them, but the timing messed up how I also built my life. What most don’t understand about teen parenthood is how out of step you feel. I didn’t fit in with the other moms they were in a different part of life than I was. Now my husband’s friends have kids mine are grown and out of the house."
9. Sticking with things
"Not sticking with things, bouncing too much from career to career, hobby to hobby. I know a little about a lot of things, and a decent amount about a handful of things, but as I enter middle age, I'm not great at anything."
"I've turned this into my USP. Don't regret it all, generalists are needed all the time and everywhere to supplement the specialists."
10. Missed the signs
"All those signs from women who had an interest in me, sending me all types of signs, yet my dull a** never realized."
11. Didn't take enough chances
"My #1 regret is not taking chances/letting family talk me out of taking chances. This ranges from taking career chances all the way to not telling the first girl I fell in love with how I felt when I was younger. I have my own fears but then when I did get up the courage to try something I usually had family that would tell me every possible negative about what could happen that I would back down."
According to psychologist Jodi Wellman, there are two types of regret we can experience in life: regrets of commission (things we wish we hadn't done) and regrets of omission (things we wish we had done). The interesting thing is that regrets of commission may feel terrible at first, but they "cool off" over time. Regrets of omission can torment us for the rest of our days. So it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.
12. Listened to the wrong people
"I kept listening to others and not following my dream of being a writer. Now I’m in my 40s and trying to do it but I’m so stressed by life and finances and feeling like it’s too late for me that I may never do it. At the very least, I wish I could have decided on a career I enjoyed just as much, because maybe by now I’d have a house and a car and be in a better place. I kept searching for the career that I had the same passion for as writing, a SAFE career. But I never could find something that made me happy."
13. Throwing out my dolls
"Throwing out my OG dolls from childhood, bratz, american girl items (kept my doll), myscene, sailor moon, etc. Would be worth thousands to the right person today especially now that I’ve started doll restoration projects."