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Health

Therapist praised for his empathetic assessment on why Gen-Z seems so apathetic

Perhaps the Gen Z stare deserves a lot more compassion than we're giving it.

gen z, gen z stare, gen z mental health, mental health, burnout, apathy, nihilism, psychology, austin calo

@austincalo/TikTok

Therapist Austin Calo offers an empathetic take of the generation known for it's vacant stare.

We’ve all heard jokes about the “Gen Z stare,” and perhaps have even made a few jabs ourselves. But after hearing Texas-based therapist Austin Calo’s nuanced, empathetic take on why this generation often seems so apathetic, we might be moved to hold off on the wisecracks.

Calo, who regularly posts therapy content on his TikTok, recently went viral for sharing his observations about his Gen Z clients. The first thing he discussed was the collective “external locus of control.”

Calo explained this as a mindset of thinking “something is happening to you rather than you impacting it." He mainly attributed this to Gen Z entering adulthood during a global pandemic, which was obviously so disruptive and debilitating that many of us, Gen z or not, began to develop a nihilistic point of view.

@austincalo Empathizing with gen z #genz #mentalhealth #therapy ♬ original sound - austincalo

“Naturally, you would detach from the result and view yourself as relatively powerless,” he said.

Next, he brought up social media. Which, yes, we’ve talked at length about the negative impact social media’s mainstream presence has had on young adults especially, but Calo nonetheless offered some different insight.

He noted that the Internet, an omnipresent “faceless” place where one can easily be publicly humiliated, has not only exacerbated a “fear of being cringe,” but "shattered" a sense of real community. However, since we are still naturally hardwired to seek community, we do it digitally.

This is why Calo has seen so many Gen Zers “hyper-pathologizing” mental illness or clinging to a sexual identity online, because at least being “boxed” into a group provides some sense of belonging, however artificial. This of course adds unnecessary pressure to immediately carve out a brand of sorts rather than simply exist and explore.

@justpeers logging off (metaphorically I’m always logged in so more like “closing the app”) for the day #genz ♬ original sound - joan

“There's not a sense of openness to figure something out or that it'll come in time or later, there's this pressure to identify with something right now."

And yet, the possibly positive consequence of being chronically online, Calo noted, is that Gen Zers generally have higher media literacy. “They know what you're trying to do, they know you're trying to manipulate them, so there's a sense of, um, kind of collective resistance to, like, pandering, you know?"

Still, this higher media literacy doesn't necessarily protect Gen Z from being manipulated or marketed to, Calo argues. In fact, he says the odds are even higher of it happening, because being exposed to a catered ‘For You' page “wears you down over the course of time.”

@_thecurlycounselor #greenscreen gen-z characteristics explained in 60 sec 🤝 #genz #genzhumor #genzlife #genzvsmillenial #genzforchange #genztherapy #genzmentalhealth ♬ original sound - Miami Z | Therapist 🛋️

In essence, Gen Z’s detachment is mostly a trauma response, “[Be]cause it feels like something's asked of them all the time,” according to Calo.

Calo concluded, “I see these takes online of trashing Gen Z or, like, the Gen Z staring stuff. This is to help understand and empathize with a generation that feels totally powerless in the face of a polarizing political climate and being marketed to and politicized on social media, meaning being manipulated on social media through politics...and so I think it's helpful to have a sense of empathy rather than 'Oh, these kids...'"

Calo’s video, which garnered 2.7 millions views, clearly struck a chord with Gen Zers, who flooded the comments with thank you’s and shared how other factors, like climate change, politics, and the economy have impacted their mindset.

“Gen Z and I definitely feel like I don’t actually ‘exist’ in the world. I often feel like I’m observing life and not actively participating in it…I don’t really have any expectations for my future and have adopted a mentality of whatever happens, happens.”

“Also the environment! We grew up being told that we wouldn’t see our children grow up unless people made changes and then we had to watch those things just…not happen.”

“We are pretty powerless: failing economy, dying plenty, no no hope.”

“So many of us try to make a career like we were told but unless you were born with money it seems like a losing game. I have a degree and I don’t feel further along than I did four years ago.”

“Another thing I think is that a lot of Gen Z has found out about the human condition and how utterly disappointing life can be through political agendas and manipulation through media.”

And yet, Calo upholds his belief that, despite these warranted coping mechanisms, Gen Zers are "incredibly resilient and courageous.” They just have trouble seeing that strength within themselves. For that, Calo has a bit of advice, which he shared with Buzzfeed.

"Boldly challenge the voices in your head and incessantly trace them until you’ve found the source. All ideas have an origin,” he said. “We wear others’ ideas all the time…You might find your actual voice is far more encouraging, hopeful, self-assuring, and kind than you may believe."

He added, "Think of who has positively impacted your life and treat yourself the way they’ve treated you. You might find that you are worth that love and adoration after all."

Additionally, Calo told Upworthy that while he sees Gen Z nihilism as a perfectly valid form of self preservation, he encourages them to reframe how they see hope, so that it feels like a potential trap for pain.

"Hope does not cause tragedy, nor does it foresee an outcome. Its purpose is to make our present more tolerable. Many believe that when we hope and subsequently fail, we ought to feel humiliated and ashamed of ourselves for believing a positive result was possible. However, that outcome was in the cards whether we felt hopeful or not. Hope just made the experience better than it would have been otherwise. Hope doesn’t yield deeper failure; it mitigates it."

Lastly, though Calo recognizes economic security as necessary to contentment (making it disheartening that it's out of reach for so many) community is just as valuable, and far more "controllable." So, when in doubt— "create community. You won’t regret it."

Honestly, that sounds likes pretty good advice, no matter what age you are.

Keep up with Calo (including updates on his music!) on TikTok

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Visit Sweden

Wellness

Feeling burnt out? Doctors are prescribing trips to Sweden

Get ready for the best "sick days" you'll ever have.

Visit Sweden

True

It’s no secret that modern life is stressful. Burnout is an epidemic. The World Health Organization boldly stated its dedicated efforts to help people improve their health and well-being through nature.

And thanks to a new initiative, Sweden is stepping up to offer a new holistic remedy: a physician-prescribed visit to Sweden, aka “The Swedish Prescription”.

“We have made great strides in making nature/social/culture prescription a more integral part of public health in the United States– but there is still so much more to be done,” said Dr. Stacy Stryer, Associate Medical Director for Park RxAmerica.“I welcome Sweden’s initiative and hope it will help break down institutional and organizational barriers, ultimately benefiting all patients.”

Patients can escape to Sweden’s pristine environment for true respite. Backed by scientific data and research from Yvonne Forsell, Senior Professor at Karolinska Institutet, healthcare professionals can prescribe Sweden as a destination where patients engage in non-medical treatments and outdoor activities to ease their ailments and offer a fresh reset.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Restore body and mind with the Swedish ritual of alternating ice baths and saunas. Swim, hike or forage through silent forests, lakes, parks and nature reserves – or simply sit in the stillness. Witness the Northern Lights dancing across winter skies, or soak up the calm of the summer midnight sun. In Stockholm, Europe’s clean-air capital, take a deep breath and feel the difference.

Or skip the great outdoors and spend time embracing Sweden’s unique cultural practices. “Our cozy fika tradition [Sweden’s daily pause for coffee and conversation], our “lagom”-balanced lifestyle [the idea of “not too much, not too little”] and our easily accessible nature are a soothing balm for body and mind,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

Sit back in front of a masterpiece in one of Sweden’s many art museums, or head out to a live music event after browsing concert options on Swedish-founded Spotify. You might catch chart-topping hits from producer Max Martin or discover the country’s thriving metal scene. Call it an early – or late – night, and enjoy restorative sleep in Sweden’s cool night air.

Sweden is the therapeutic destination your health has been craving. Learn more about “The Swedish Prescription” and its benefits for your mental and physical health here.

Culture

American shares his 9 realizations about the U.S. after 13 years abroad and it's eye-opening

“If you’ve never left, you can never understand what it’s really like…”

united states, american, europe, living abroad, U.K.

Image credit: Evan Edinger/YouTube

You learn a lot about your country when you leave it for a while.

Evan Edinger moved to London over 13 years ago to study abroad but never planned on staying overseas permanently. His goal was to get his degree, return to the United States, start his career, and make a life for himself. He thought of his time in London as a "temporary adventure."

But when he finished his degree, he found himself in an unexpected situation: He didn't want to go back. "The longer I stayed in London," Edinger shares on his YouTube channel, "the more I began to notice all of the assumptions that I'd grown up believing in America, the things I was brought up to believe were undeniably true and just the way the world worked—it turns out they weren't true at all."

One of the benefits of living in another country is seeing your country of origin through different eyes. That perspective can cause you to appreciate some things and question other things. Edinger shares nine realizations he's had about the U.S. since he left, starting with one of the most quintessentially American realities he found himself questioning.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. Guns

Edinger grew up in New Jersey and describes it as "quite a blue state," but he was still immersed in the gun culture that views gun ownership as a fundamental part of being an American.

"I was raised in a very pro-gun household," Edinger says. "In my family home in America, we had a 12-gauge shotgun, a 10-gauge, a black powder rifle, and a .410 shotgun for the children. My dad would take us out some days to shoot empty cans of beer or play pigeons or sometimes go hunting for pheasants or deer."

He says the notion of not owning a gun was unthinkable in his upbringing. "The idea that other countries do not allow guns is viewed more like these other countries are missing a fundamental right," he says.

His ideas about guns have changed dramatically since moving to London and living in a society without ubiquitous access to guns. "Visiting Philadelphia when I was younger was always scary to me because I never knew who had a gun, who wanted to rob me," Edinger shares. "Visiting New Orleans a couple years ago, I was told by my hotel staff that a few days prior, a tourist was shot and died in the local Popeye's Chicken because he caught a stray bullet of two people having an argument in the restaurant. So, that's just something that people just have to deal with. This constant fear of I could just die being caught in a crossfire and there's nothing I can really do about it because freedom. I've pretty much never felt that level of fear in London at all. And that alone was enough to sway my opinion on guns."

guns, gun culture, gun violence, united states, second amendment The U.S. has a unique gun culture.Photo credit: Canva

2. Government

"One thing that's really drilled into you pretty much every year of American school is that American democracy is the end-all be-all of government and that it is the beacon of freedom other countries look to emulate. Then, once you become an adult and you see how dysfunctional the U.S. government is, you search for anything to feel better about it and usually settle on 'Well, at least it's not a third world dictatorship.'"

But those aren't the only two options. Edinger explains how the parliamentary system in the U.K. is far from perfect, but it tends to be more effective at actually getting things done because lawmakers aren't constantly stymied by the inherently destructive two-party gridlock we have in the U.S.

"It's messy, yes, but after 13 years away, I've come to the belief that no system of government is perfect," he says. "But most systems in Western Europe are far more effective than what I grew up believing was the 'best in the world.'"

3. Walkability and Public Transport

In the U.S., having a car is practically a symbol of freedom, but Edinger says he's never felt the need to have a car in his 13 years living in London. He says it's been incredibly freeing to be able to walk and take public transit everywhere, and not just in the city. He's been able to travel all over Europe, in larger cities and small towns, and the focus on walkable neighborhoods and public transportation is everywhere.

walkable cities, public transportation, car dependency, london underground, subway It's much easier to get around without a car in Europe. Photo credit: Canva

"After having spent some time living in walkable neighborhoods, I would never ever choose to live in a car dependent place ever again," Edinger says. "It is truly one of the most life-changing parts of living over here. And because I'm always walking everywhere, because I'm always cycling everywhere, it's so much easier to be healthy and physically fit without even trying."

4. Food Quality and Price

Europe has different regulations than the U.S., Edinger explains, with an approach that leads to a lot less additives and chemicals being added to foods.

"Europe's food agency focuses on possibilities and the U.S.'s focuses on probabilities. Is it possible an unnecessary additive could be harmful? Europe prohibits it just to be safe. The US agency, the FDA, they only step in if the probability of it being harmful is high. So, that risk is passed on to the average American consumer."

Edinger also points out that the ability to walk down to the store to get fresh ingredients regularly makes it a lot easier to eat well. "It's one of those things where once you experience both, there is no contest. No contest. So, it's much easier to be healthy in Europe than in America."

5. Healthcare in the U.S. vs. Europe

"If my health does have issues, I am glad it's not something that would ever bankrupt me or cause me to ever think about how much it would have to cost me just to be sick," says Edinger.

Americans often hear horror stories about socialized medicine, but Edinger's experience with going to the doctor and even going to the hospital have been positive, and barely cost him anything.

health, healthcare, universal healthcare, health insurance, cost of healthcare The U.S. is an outlier in the world when it comes to healthcare costs. Photo credit: Canva

"There are only two types of people that are against the freeing social safety net that is universal healthcare," says Edinger. "People that have never experienced socialized healthcare and people that profit from the broken system. That's it." Most Americans want it, but "most Americans" is not where the money is.

6. Consumer Protections in the U.S. vs Europe

Edinger shares that he bought a MacBook Pro in 2019 that didn't work right, and he hadn't purchased AppleCare because he knew he didn't have to.

"If you buy a tech product in Europe, you have a reasonable expectation that it should last you at least two years free of defects," says Edinger. "And if it's not up to your expectations or breaks down before then, you can demand a return or replacement. This law protects consumers from shady business practices."

He ended up getting his full money back on the computer due to those consumer protections.

"It's laws like this where you really begin to notice a pattern that life in Europe is one that gives more rights to the everyday person over giant corporations and shared benefit over private," says Edinger.

7. Worker Rights

"A quick summary would be 28 days minimum paid holiday, one year paid maternity leave, two weeks paid paternity leave, sick leave, even the right against unlawful termination," said Edinger. "When working part-time at Urban Outfitters in London, even though I worked less than 20 hours a week, I still got two days paid holiday per month. That's insane, right? No, that's just life over here. Meanwhile, I worked five years at a Pizza Hut in New Jersey for over 30 hours per week. Never got a single day of paid vacation."

Indeed, there's more than a handful of European countries that guarantee at least a month of paid days off, with some countries actually requiring a certain number of days or weeks off.

vacation, holiday, paid vacation days, paid time off, work life balance Europeans get far more generous paid leave than Americans do.Photo credit: Canva

Edinger points out the irony that he was always taught that the U.S. was for the individual, for individual freedoms. But in his experience, in Europe individuals have more rights than those with money or power, while it's the opposite in the U.S.

8. Money (Live to work or work to live?)

Edinger says that most things are more affordable in Europe, from groceries to data plans, but Americans do earn higher salaries.

"So if you earn a lot of money and money is your sole defining metric of success, then you can feel a lot more successful in the U.S.," he says. "But because the culture in Europe is work to live and not live to work, you might find that the stress and cost tradeoffs and quality of life erode the value of that higher salary quite quickly."

9. On Romanticizing Europe

People often wonder if Americans romanticize Europe too much, and Edinger says the same question used to be asked of Europeans romanticizing America. But now that we have YouTube and social media and a better ability to see the realities of both places, he says what Americans "romanticize" about Europe is really just the things we want and don't have.

work-life balance, united states, working, european culture, worker rights Work-life balance is something a lot of Americans struggle with.Photo credit: Canva

"I think most Americans who are eyeing up Europe are doing so because of the things that America is lacking. Nearly two in three Americans want universal healthcare. Well, America doesn't offer that. Again, two in three Americans want European style vacation policies. America doesn't offer that. And 53% of Americans would prefer to live in a walkable neighborhood, but sorry, America doesn't offer that. The list goes on. If America were an actual democracy, I don't think many of these people would be having romanticized views of Europe at all because they wouldn't need to. They could have everything they wanted in the country they were born and raised."

Of course, every country has its problems and there are certainly downsides to moving abroad. Edinger acknowledges that but says it really boils down to what you value in life. Americans are taught to romanticize the U.S., and leaving it helps you see the reality, what's good about your country and where it has room for improvement.

"I think the main thing though out of everything that I miss about the U.S. that I can't really get here is not rights, not freedoms, not anything that's big on quality of life improvements," says Edinger. "It's just Mexican food and good ice cream."

You can follow Evan Edinger on YouTube for more on his experiences as an American living abroad.

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culture

Celebrity

11 celebrities I've met who turned out to be even kinder than their legendary reputations

Some of these people were just shockingly cool

Diane Keaton, kindness, celebrities, good people, celebrities

commons.wikimedia.org, Ruven Afanador

Diane Keaton in 2012.

For many of us, we've hit a point where the "stars are just like us" trope has become cringe-inducing. The world has much more on its delicate plate than what sushi an A/B-list movie star ate at Nobu.

That said, hearing that fellow humans (famous or not) act especially kind to others can be uplifting. Sure, it's something we all should do, and no one should get a medal for being "nice." But there's still a little magic in movies, music, and art in general, and there's definitely some inspiration to be had from the people who create that magic.

I've been a radio entertainment reporter, among other gigs in the business, for the last (gasp) 20 years. This has put me in rooms, for better or for worse, with some of the most famous people on earth. While a few were "grumpy," others were so genuinely warmhearted that they truly exceeded my expectations. (I wrote whole stories about the bright lights that are Dolly Parton and Robin Williams.) Most of these people are known to be super engaging, but a few might be a tad shocking.

So here are a few of the good ones…

RUSSELL CROWE

Russell Crowe, kindness, celebrity, nice people, famous Russell Crowe in The Gladiator www.flickr.com, Ron Frazier

We'll start with perhaps the most surprising: Randomly, I was in Mexico with some friends when we stumbled upon the cast and crew party for one of Crowe's movies. We'd all heard about his reputation, so we were delighted when he sent a round of margaritas to our table. We wound up talking to him for hours about life, love, and all things in between. He seemed incredibly spiritual, thoughtful, and extremely funny. (Also, my shoe kept coming untied and every time, he'd bend down and tie it.)

CAROL BURNETT / AMY POEHLER

Carol Burnett and Amy Poehler on a press junket. www.youtube.com, Cecily Knobler, Good Day Sacramento

I had the honor of interviewing Carol Burnett and her co-star Amy Poehler for a press junket in support of an animated film they'd worked on called The Secret World of Arrietty. They went out of their way to put me at ease, as I was so painfully green at interviewing. My hands were shaking, and I think they both noticed. They acted like I had good questions and just made me feel wonderful, despite my nerves.

TOM HANKS

Tom Hanks, kindness, celebrities, good people, famous Tom Hanks at the 1989 Governor's Ball.Photo Credit: Alan Light, Wiki Commons

This one isn't unexpected. At the premiere of Hanks's film Charlie Wilson's War, my friend stopped him to ask if he could wish his buddy a "Happy Hanks-giving" on his iPhone. I died a little inside and said, "No, Mr. Hanks, you don't have to do that." But to no one's shock, Hanks replied, "Of course." Not only did he do one take, he did three until he got it just right!

LARRY DAVID

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The thing about Larry is that he is unmistakably, unapologetically Larry. At a different premiere—ironically, also for a Tom Hanks movie—my date and I were picking at the after-party food. Larry was sitting alone, so we asked him to join us. He immediately began joking that he hated how the food at the after-party had to be thematically linked to the movie itself. He then asked, "Where do you think Tom Hanks is?" We told him, "Probably in the VIP section," to which he replied, "There's a VIP section? See ya!" We all laughed, and he winked as he left to go find it. He did turn back and say, "Nice to meet you," and we agreed! (Now, I know some might argue that an ultra-kind guy would take us with him. But this is Larry David, and we'd have been disappointed if he had.)

DIANE KEATON

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The recent passing of Keaton was a tough one. She was always one of my favorites, not just as an actress, but for her strength and individualistic style. For some reason, I was once invited to a party at songwriter Carole Bayer Sager's house. Keaton was there, and my friend embarrassed me by introducing us with, "Diane, you should meet Cecily. She's really funny too." I immediately said, "Oh no, I'm nothing." And she gave me the most inspiring speech about having pride every step of the way. Also, she spilled a little champagne as she was talking, and we both laughed about it for quite some time.

WEIRD AL

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In another life, I was a story producer and writer on a TV show called Cupcake Wars. I wrote "jokes" for the guests who appeared on the show, one of whom was Weird Al Yankovic. Clad in his signature Hawaiian shirt, he read my jokes, and after the cameras stopped rolling, said, "These are great. Well done!" I'm not sure the puns about frosting were all that "well done," but it was nice of him to be so publicly supportive.

NICOLE KIDMAN

Nicole Kidman , kind celebrities, movie stars, nice people, famous Nicole Kidman in 2012 commons.wikimedia.org, Photo Credit: Eva Rinaldi

There's just something wonderful about Australians. At a reception honoring the film Lion at the British Consulate, I was introduced to Kidman and expected a quick hello and perhaps a picture. We wound up chatting for 15 minutes, and what I found extra nice was she (and co-star Dev Patel) went out of their way to ask questions about me. We spoke for quite some time, and she was gentle and inquisitive.

PAUL NEWMAN

Paul Newman, celebrities, kindness, nice people, fame Paul Newman in 1958. commons.wikimedia.org, Unknown author, dedicated to Bettmann Archive

At 22, I found myself working as waitstaff for a catering company at the Governor's Ball following the Academy Awards. (Man, I've had some interesting jobs.) As I was trying to shimmy in between two tables, Paul happened to be walking in the opposite direction and stepped on my foot. Of course, being me, I apologized to him, and he said, with those blue eyes sparkling, "I stepped on your foot, little lady! I'm the one who's sorry!" He then smiled, and my heart absolutely melted.

GEORGE CARLIN

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My dad, a radio guy, had the pleasure of working with the late, great Carlin at a radio station in Texas in the 1960s. They always remained friendly through the years, although lost touch later in life. Cut to: I'm co-hosting on KZLA (a now-defunct country radio station in Los Angeles), and Carlin came in to plug his book. He heard my last name, and his eyes welled up with tears. "Are you related to (my dad's name)?" he asked. He then warmly regaled me with the neatest stories and inside jokes from his time working with my father. He took quite a lot of time from his own press to make me feel special.

HENRY WINKLER

Henry Winkler, celebrities, The Fonz, kindness , fame Henry Winkler as The Fonz in Happy Days 1976.J commons.wikimedia.org, ABC Television

And now for the least surprising in terms of exceptionally nice people. Another pal was a segment producer and writer on one of Winkler's game shows, and she invited me to come have lunch in the greenroom on the CBS lot. Winkler was behind me in line for potato salad, and my buddy introduced us. He said, and I quote, "Can I call you Cec?!" I said I would love that. He then hugged me, picked me up, spun me around, and said, "Hi, Cec! You're welcome here anytime."

Over on Reddit, someone asked, "Who's the nicest famous person you've met?" and 1.5 thousand people replied. Many of the honors went to well-known nice folks like Robin Williams, Adam Sandler (which I can also attest to), Hugh Jackman, Reba, Keanu Reeves, and Lady Gaga.

But a couple of stories stood out:

"Paul Rudd. Went out of his way to be super kind to me and my friend, gave us autographs and pictures, and chatted for a long time, and even offered to share a cab back down to Times Square (which, of course, we said yes to). 1000/10 amazing human being."

"Muhammad Ali was probably the nicest famous person I've met. I cooked him food, and he was very thankful and kind to me for doing so. I still remember his hands engulfing mine when he shook my hand and thanked me so clearly."

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Joy

We asked people what social rule they'd enforce during flights. One sweet answer dominated.

If only we could actually make this an official rule.

flying, airport, airplane, dog, flight etiquette

Photo credit: Canva

Following certain "rules" can make flying a lot better for everyone involved.

Flying on airplanes with dozens of perfect strangers is, in many ways, a social experiment. We're forced to sit in seats that aren't big enough for most of us, uncomfortably close to people we don't know (some of whom are stressed out or anxious), with unclear social etiquette rules we haven't all collectively agreed upon.

And yet we do it because the miracle of human flight enabling us to travel in hours to places that used to take days, weeks, or even longer, is too awesome to pass up. Most of us have things we'd prefer our fellow passengers do or not do to make the experience better for everyone, however, so we asked our Upworthy Facebook audience, "If you could enforce one social rule during flights, what would it be?" The responses were largely what you might expect and you can see them below, but there was one unexpected comment that stood out. The rule that received the most love, with over 1,200 likes, was this one:

dog, flying, airplane, good dog, golden retriever Can we please get a "meet the dog" rule on airplanes?Photo credit: Canva

Any dog on the plane has to visit every passenger that requests

While not everyone loves dogs, most people do. And what would make a flight more enjoyable than getting to meet a dog on board? Perhaps we can start a petition to make cabin doggy visits for anyone who wants them an official thing…

Other responses were helpful reminders of both common courtesy and somewhat standard airplane etiquette for those who might not fly often enough to be familiar with it. In addition to the "meet the dog" rule, here are 10 more social rules people wish they could enforce on flights:

Be nice to flight attendants

Imagine being responsible for both the comfort and safety of 100+ people from different places with different needs in a cabin hurtling through the sky 30,000 feet above the Earth. Flight attendants deal with a wide array of people day in and day out, and we should all make sure we treat them with the kindness and respect that they deserve.

Middle seat gets the armrests

Nobody should be hogging the armrests, but if anyone has a right to them, it's the sacrificial soul who has to sit in the middle seat. (And window seat controls the window, in case that's not common sense.)

headphones, flight, courtesy, airplane etiquette, flying No matter your age, headphones to listen to things on a flight are a must.Photo credit: Canva

Headphones, please

No one wants to listen to your video but you. Imagine if everyone listened to movies or YouTube videos or whatever without headphones—total social chaos. In public and on planes, use headphones to listen or watch something.

No 'manspreading'

We all know the legroom on flights has become practically non-existent, and for people with long legs it can be hard to not bang your knees up against the seat in front of you. But spreading your legs apart so wide that it infringes on other people's leg space just isn't cool. We're all in the same boat, so we have to respect one another's space.

Keep your shoes and socks on

There may be an exception here for long-haul flights as long as you keep your socks on and don't have stinky feet, but bringing a pair of slippers or something is still courteous. But definitely keep your socks on and be aware that you might not be able to tell if your own feet smell.

flying, flights, airplane, overhead bin, flight etiquette One overhead bag per passenger until everyone's got their luggage settled. Photo credit: Canva

Don’t put a second bag or a jacket in the overhead bin until everyone has put their first bag in

Overhead space is limited, so wait until everyone has had a chance to get their carry-on into that space before adding more than your one bag to it. Once everyone's settled in, feel free to add whatever overflow you have.

Try not to fart

We've all been on a flight where someone let one rip and made everyone's eyes water. Unless you have zero choice in the matter, refrain from dropping gas bombs on your fellow passengers. We're all human and humans fart, but an airplane cabin is a tight spot where people can't get away. At least take it to the lavatory if you can.

Be aware of smells in general

Come clean and fresh, but not perfumed. Deodorant? Yes, please. Strong cologne or perfume? No. Food that emits a strong odor? Also no.

flight attendant, safety presentation, airplane safety, seatbelts, courtesy Even if you know it by heart, please don't talk during the safety demonstration.Photo credit: Canva

Stay quiet during the safety demonstration

Some people fly all the time and could recite the safety demonstration spiel by heart, but that doesn't mean everyone is familiar with it. It only takes a few minutes and first-time flyers need to hear it. It's respectful to the flight attendants to not talk through their presentation and courteous to other passengers who need to listen.

Remain seated until it’s your row’s turn to deplane

On most flights, as soon as the plane arrives at the gate and the seatbelt sign is turned off, people rush to stand up and gather their luggage. But it's always going to take several minutes to even start getting the first passengers off the plane, and it's not going to go any faster to crowd into the aisle.

If we all follow these "rules," flying can be a more pleasant experience for everyone—even our good doggo friends who might be on board.

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flight etiquette

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9 things that would've been seen as conspiracy theories 20 years ago but are real today

So, are aliens real or not?

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9 things people would've thought were conspiracy theories that are actually real

Conspiracy theories can be fun for a trip down the rabbit hole or try and debunk. But what about the conspiracy theories that turn out to be true, or, in this case, turn out to be visions of what was coming in the future? Before technology advanced, people had ideas about the future that seemed so far-fetched they could easily be dismissed as conspiracy theories.

Some conspiracy theories were so pervasive that they made the news, like Y2K, where seemingly everyone believed the world was going to end on December 31, 1999. People made bunkers in their basements and unplugged all of their electronics in hopes of stopping the inevitable end of the world because computers couldn't handle switching into the new millennium. It was certainly a time to be alive.

Clearly, the world didn't end in December of 1999, but there are plenty of wilder-than-fiction conspiracy theories and ideas that turned into reality. What was once only reserved for science fiction movies has now made its way to everyday life.

1. Communicating like a secret spy

In the 1970s, James Bond might have had people shaking their heads when his watch received a message from his handler. That was something unheard of; even Charlie's Angels still had to use a landline phone to receive instructions. Seeing someone carrying on a conversation with someone no one else could see, or watching someone talk and listen to their watch, would've resulted in a trip to a mental institution. The idea was laughable until recently, when smartphones received their companion–Bluetooth devices.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Security guard on duty with earpiece and cap.Photo credit: Canva

2. The government is listening to our private conversations

Millennials like to joke that they have an FBI agent assigned to secretly spy on them, but it's not far off from the truth. We may not each have our own private FBI or CIA agent assigned to monitor our late-night Amazon shopping sprees, but there have been several times in history when the United States government was caught secretly listening in on citizens' conversations. It happened during the Vietnam Era, which was uncovered during the Watergate scandal, with the most recent discovery being post 9/11, when it was discovered that the National Security Administration was collecting the call information of Verizon phone users.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Confused by the phone, she searches for answers.Photo credit: Canva

According to the ACLU, "the government reported that in 2011, Section 702 surveillance resulted in the retention of more than 250 million internet communications (a number that does not reflect the far larger quantity of communications whose contents the NSA searched before discarding them). Given the rate at which the number of Section 702 targets is growing, it’s likely that the government today collects over a billion communications under Section 702 each year. But these statistics tell only part of the story. The government has never provided data on the number of Americans who are surveilled under PRISM and Upstream, a number that is surely also increasing."

3. Things in our house can hear our thoughts

When you say it like that, it sounds pretty kooky, but it's not far-fetched...anymore. Most Americans are wiretapping themselves by having smart devices throughout their homes: smartphones, watches, and computers primed to listen, prompted or not. So while your computer can't read your mind, the devices around you are designed to listen and share targeted ads. These can be based on things you've looked up or chatted about with a friend. Since your contacts are stored in your smartphone, you're also creating a sort of web of interest from the locations you both visit, even if you're not visiting them together.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Kids exploring renewable energy with a solar panel and wind turbine model.Photo credit: Canva

So, no, you're not losing your mind when you talk to your friend about this new shirt at Express, only for a model wearing the same shirt in an Express ad later that night on your social media feed. Cox Media Group secretly admitted to utilizing the microphones of people's devices to target ads, according to 404 Media. The media group in question had big tech clients like Facebook and Google, so this conspiracy theory wasn't all that crazy. These permissions can be tucked into the "Terms & Agreements" that people don't often read.

4. Robots and computers are taking over the world

When computers first became a household item, people started to become suspicious of these new devices. They went from taking up an entire room to being small enough to fit on desks in offices before eventually making their way into classrooms and homes across the globe. Jobs started to become automated, which caused manufacturing workers to need to learn new skills. While things were stable for decades as computer science careers boomed, technology is now in nearly every aspect of daily life, even mixing baby formula can be automated.

There are now robots that deliver food through busy city streets. Robots can even sweep and mop your floor every night so you don't have to. If you don't have hard floors, no worries, those little robots have amazing suction power and will vacuum carpets as well as a full-sized vacuum being pushed around by a human.

Of course, computers and robots could never technically take over the world because they need humans to maintain and update them. But automation and artificial intelligence are squeezing white collar workers out of jobs as companies look for other areas they can cut people in exchange for AI or a robot for higher profit margins.

5. There are flying cars

Truly, what a time to be alive. Cartoons like The Jetsons, Speed Racer, and Inspector Gadget all had some form of flying cars, whether it was because the car was a spaceship of sorts or if it was due to a secret gadget propelling it into the air. These cartoons were onto something. While a person speculating about having flying cars in the future would've been laughed out of their local barber shop, they're now a thing.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Futuristic flying car soaring in a clear blue sky.Photo credit: Canva

Adam Goldstein, the CEO of Archer Aviation is ready for the infrastructure that will support his new vehicle. The company is based out of California and produces electrical vertical take-off and landing (eVTOL) aircrafts, otherwise known as flying cars. The aircraft holds passengers and while it can be compared to a helicopter, it's extremely quiet and looks more like a huge drone. Newsweek reports that these flying cars are best for moving quickly around congested cities, like the 405 in Los Angeles during rush hour.

6. Cars drive all by themselves

Yep. Even two decade ago people would've thought you had been smoking the devil's lettuce if you claimed to see a car riding around without a driver. Sure, you saw things like that in movies, but the idea was so preposterous that it only worked in the movies. It was something that couldn't be imagined, but it's now a reality. Waymo offered its first passenger a ride in its driverless car in 2015, and, in 2020, it was offering the public driverless rides without someone behind the wheel in case something went wrong.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Scenic road trip past wind turbines in driverless carPhoto credit: Canva

Tesla also offers a version of this for personal vehicles. The feature is called Full Self-Driving (FSD), which allows the driver of the vehicle to engage the self-driving feature while they supervise. Eyes still must be on the road as the self-driving mode is not fully autonomous like Waymo cars. These features are not without fault, though. One man became stuck in a Waymo as it spun in circles in a parking lot instead of taking him to the airport as requested. The dizzy man had to call Waymo support to get the car to stop.

7. Computer chips are being implanted in people's brains

Yes, this still sounds made up. No, it's not a joke. Scientists have found a way to implant computer chips into the brains of humans, but it's not for some weird government mind control. Elon Musk's company Neuralink successfully implanted a thin computer chip into the brain of Noland Arbaugh, a 30-year-old from Arizona who became paralyzed from the shoulders down after a diving accident, according to the BBC. The chip in his brain helps him control the computer with his mind.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Merging minds and machines: the future of brain-computer interfaces.Photo credit: Canva

"It is what is known as a brain computer interface (BCI) - which works by detecting the tiny electrical impulses generated when humans think about moving, and translating these into digital command, such as moving a cursor on a screen," the BBC writes.

Neuralink is not the first or only computer chip implanted in someone's brain. Elon Musk is more well known, but he and his company are not the pioneers to this technology. In 2010, NeuroLife implanted a chip in Ian Burkhart's brain that helped him regain movement and independence after hitting his head on a sandbar in the Atlantic Ocean. The field is crowded with scientists racing to be the one to solve serious mobility, mental, and physical health conditions with the right tweaks to a computer chip.

8. Someone can clone you without your knowledge

This one may seem a bit out there, but with the rise of AI, people can take a photo or video of other people and put them in precarious situations. The new software technology may seem fun, but there have already been instances where it was used to create inappropriate images and videos of celebrities.

conspiracy theories; UFOs; NASA; robots taking over; robot vacuums; AI; AI job loss; government spies Double take: Two beanie-wearing men point at each other.Photo credit: Canva

Now that it's as simple as uploading a picture and typing a prompt, people can find themselves throwing a tantrum in a grocery store they've never actually visited. Video of someone going on a racist tirade or committing a crime can also be easily conjured up on a computer with a few clicks without consideration of the consequences if the AI image is taken seriously. While Sora is currently most popularly used app for this sort of AI spoofing, it's User Agreement says to only use photos you have consent to use. But ill intention can override the intended purpose of the app as some people have found.

9. Aliens are real, and the government has been hiding them

Well, are there aliens? There may never be a true answer on this one, but an ex-NASA employee spoke to media confirming the existence of aliens. People have suspected for decades that the United States government has been hiding aliens in Roswell, New Mexico. There was even a television show all about aliens who looked like every day teenagers called Roswell. Americans are invested in the little green men...or grey men? Or maybe aliens that look just like humans? Was Men in Black a documentary?

Dr. Gregory Rogers, former NASA Chief Flight Surgeon and a U.S. Air Force major, told Newsweek that he saw a "flying saucer" in a Cape Canaveral hanger in 1993. During a congressional hearing in 2023, former Defense Department employee David Grusch claimed to have seen remains of pilots inside of an unidentified flying object that were non-human. NASA disputes this claim by pointing to the lack of evidence.

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Golden Years

3 tips for a Halloween visit to senior living homes that kids and adults both will cherish

It can be a big pick-me-up for seniors, but there are some guidelines to make it a positive experience for all.

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A kid trick or treats in a ghost costume. An elderly man is flustered.

What's better than combining eager Halloween-celebrating kids with the elderly who could use some visitors? Why trick-or-treating of course! This idea has been making the rounds and many are sharing their cute TikTok videos to prove the joy.

Just this week, Upworthy shared the heartwarming story about a mom who took her daughter (dressed head to toe in princess pink) to a senior care facility, delighting many of the residents. She pranced around with her pumpkin Halloween bucket, into which senior citizens joyfully dropped candy. It inspired many to take part in this wonderful win/win for the elderly and the youth.

@karen.channnnn
If you haven't gone trick or treating at a nursing or retirement home you're missing out! This is your sign! #retirement #elderly #Love #oldpeople #halloween

That said, after the idea also went viral on the subreddit r/MakeMeSmile, some people had concerns. A Redditor, @FinnFarrow, wrote "Such a good idea" and shared a picture of a woman holding an orange sign. It reads: "If you take your children trick-or-treating, please consider taking them by NURSING HOMES. Most of them give out candy, and the residents would love to see the little ones in their costumes. Please stop by and brighten their day! You have no idea how much this means to them!"

The comment section exploded, and not in the way one might think. The first is practical advice: "I would recommend contacting the nursing homes prior. I used to work in one, and they allowed it with restrictions."

halloween, costumes, senior living facilities, nursing homes A woman holds up a suggestion for kids on Halloween.Photo Credit: @FinnFarrow, Reddit, Such a good idea : r/MadeMeSmile

Another adds, "Absolutely call beforehand though. I saw a similar post a couple of years ago and called every nursing home in town, and not one allowed trick-or-treating."

Some people were kinder in the comments than others. One bluntly points out that having lots of children in their facility could threaten health conditions of the elderly: "I would imagine bringing 100 nose miners into a nursing home during cold and flu season would be bad for residents."

Others noted that if such a thing were unexpected, it could be confusing for some of the residents. One gave the example of a man in assisted living who, when walking to the dining hall, saw kids dressed as aliens for Halloween. He did not handle it well. One points out, "It's also very funny seeing the kids try to explain their costumes to the old folks and for the old folks to try to comprehend what characters kids are wearing these days. I don’t even know, and I’m always online."

Halloween, candy, costumes, senior living, kids, trick or treat Trick Or Treater gets a lot of candy Giphy GIF by Persona

And then there's the logistics of candy. I called my mom, who is in a senior living home, and asked if her facility did this. Her answer was surprising: "I hope not. Where would I even get candy?"

But the idea is still a lovely one, at least for some. And if it's something that resonates, here are a few tips for making it work.

NOTE THE SENIOR FACILITY

There's a big difference between senior independent living, assisted living, and memory care. It's important to note that before attempting a visit which includes children. Senior independent would probably be the best place to start, as the residents (often) have fewer physical or memory-health issues.

CALL AHEAD

This might take some time, but call around to different facilities to make sure this is allowed. Usually, this is a planned event on their part, so while they may love the idea, it certainly takes coordination. The site, A Place for Mom can offer a list of nearby residences.

OFFER A DONATION

Getting out and getting candy (or having the funds to do so) should also be a consideration for something like this. One idea is that once you've established that a facility is hosting an event like this (and/or is open to it), consider offering money to buy the actual candy. Or one could drop the candy off.

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