Wife says husband's last name is so awful she can't give it to her kids. Is she right?
"I totally get we can’t shield kids from everything, and I understand the whole family ties thing, but c’mon."

A wife pleads with her husband to change their child's name.
Today, schools are much more concerned with protecting children from bullying than in the past but parents still have to be aware that kids will be kids, and having a child with a funny name is bound to cause them trouble.
A mother is concerned about her future children having her husband's unfortunate last name of “Butt,” so she turned to Reddit and asked the namenerds forum to help her convince him to let their future kids ditch the surname in favor of something less likely to be ridiculed.
"My husband’s last name is Butt. Can someone please help me illuminate to him why this last name is less than ideal,” she asked the forum. “I totally get we can’t shield kids from everything and I understand the whole family ties thing, but c'mon. Am I being unreasonable by suggesting our future kid either take my name, a hybrid, or a new one altogether?"
The posters on the forum overwhelmingly supported her.
"I can see hubby being a bit of a stickler because he wants to keep the family name, but I find it a bit baffling that he doesn’t get why it would be a concern,” user Babelight wrote. “If you have to club him over the head with it, indicate that for children/young persons hearing the name, they would equate it to someone’s last name being ‘Pooh,’ ‘Vaginah’ or ‘Peenis/Peniss.’”
Other posters noted that her opinion is just as valid as her husband’s when naming their child.
"You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Your husband's last name is objectively pretty awful, and of course, you don't want your child to have it. Also, even if it wasn't that bad, you would be still entitled to at least suggest that your child takes your last name since you are also going to be their parent,” SwordfishBrilliant40 wrote. “Also, he needs to think about his child, let's be honest, their life is going to be a lot easier with a ‘normal’/not bad’ last name."
Having a last name like Butt opens a child up to being bullied, which can lead to feelings of rejection, exclusion, isolation, diminished self-esteem and long-term mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety.
"I knew a kid named Zack Butt. Teased relentlessly. At every age," Kwam26 confirmed.
Bullying can cause lifelong damage.
Photo by Norbert Kundrak on UnsplashThere is also the practical problem of living in a digital world where algorithms often filter out names deemed offensive. This issue is known as the “Scunthorpe problem.” Back in the late ‘90s, people from the town of Scunthorpe in the UK couldn’t sign up on AOL because a filter blocked out the name due to the offensive term that sits in the middle of it.
The husband is proud of his family heritage and, possibly, of having learned to live with a name that would make most people chuckle. But it’s also understandable that his wife has a real problem bringing a child up in this world with a name that will make them the butt of jokes throughout their lives. With bullying objectively worse now than it was in the not-too-distant past thanks to social media, it makes sense for the mother to be as concerned as she is. Letting harsh words roll off one's back was easier without the Internet.
One wonders why this wasn’t discussed before the couple got married.
This article originally appeared two years ago.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."