'No Phones, New Friends Friday' school lunch policy is making teens kinder — and less lonely

When Iowa Valley Junior-Senior High School principal Janet Behrens observed her students in the cafeteria, she was dismayed to see that they spent more time looking down at their phones than they did looking at and interacting with each other. So last year, she implemented a new policy that's having a big impact.
According to KCRG News, "No Phones, New Friends Friday" requires students to put away their devices one day a week and sit with people they don't normally hang out with. When students enter the lunch room on Fridays, they get a colored card that assigns them to a specific table. Each table also has conversation starters to help kids break the ice and interact.
RELATED: A mom describes her tween son's brain. It's a must-read for all parents.
Principal starts 'No phone, new friends Friday' lunchtime tradition https://t.co/W2X3zPHlXy— KCRG-TV9 (@KCRG-TV9) 1573271461.0
Anyone who knows teens knows that this kind of forced socialization has the potential to backfire. Kids that age tend to separate themselves into groups and cling to their close friends. For some, having to make conversation with peers they don't know can feel like torture at first, so they may not immediately jump on board with such an idea.
At the same time, loneliness and social isolation is a growing problem among teens, despite (or perhaps because of) constantly being connected to other via social media. Something has to give.
Behrens said it took a couple of weeks for students to adjust, but thankfully, the policy seems to be working as intended.
@Jackie_KCRG was at IVHS today for No Phones, New Friends Friday! @KCRG https://t.co/jOtD7t6w1L— Iowa Valley Schools (@Iowa Valley Schools) 1573239564.0
"Everybody enjoys it," junior Page Weick told KCRG."I think people have a lot more respect for others."
Freshman Sahara Kanke said at first she didn't want to do it at all, but has since come around to loving the Friday lunches. "I think it's fun, I like doing it," she said. "People are more nice to each other now because they got to know each other at lunch."
RELATED: 7 secrets to raising awesome, functional teenagers.
Principal Behrens is pleased to see how students have taken to the policy. "Every little thing helps in this day and age with all of the things that you have going on, all the pressures that they have with social media," she told KCRG. "It's nice to see them take a break from all that."
Teens may be particularly prone to the drama and pressure of social media, but they're not the only ones tethered to their phones to the detriment of face-to-face interaction. Perhaps we would all benefit from a No Phones, New Friends day in our lives, at least on occasion.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.