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A mother's heartbreaking story highlights the challenge of defining 'late-term abortion'

A mother's heartbreaking story highlights the challenge of defining 'late-term abortion'
Haylie Grammer/Facebook

Part of the problem with debating abortion legislation is that there is no clear definition of what it even is. Some might say it's the termination of an unwanted pregnancy, but sometimes a pregnancy that ends in abortion was very much wanted. Some might say it's the killing of a baby in the womb, but plenty of abortions take place after a baby has already died in utero.

Merriam-Webster defines abortion as "the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus"—a definition that points to the following heartbreaking story and the reason why abortion is not as cut and dry an issue as many make it out to be.

Haylie Grammer shared her family's experience with "late-term abortion" in the death of her daughter, Embree, at 25 weeks, and it illustrates how abortion can look very, very different than what people imagine it to be.

Grammer wrote:

"I saw this article today about Senator Gary Peters and his abortion story. It reminded me why I am pro-choice and reminded me that people need to hear my story too. Some of you may have already heard my story, but I think it is a good reminder of how politics are used to control women's bodies and how everything isn't always what it seems on the surface.

4.5 years ago, I gave birth to my first born. Her name was Embree Eleanor Grammer. She was born via c-section on April 25, 2016. She weighed 4lbs 4oz. She was only 25 weeks gestation. She lived for approximately 20-30 minutes. She was born with a tumor that was roughly the size of a volleyball that was invading her body both externally and internally. It was sucking her blood supply, pushing her organs out of place, deforming her body, and overworking her heart. We found out about the tumor only 5 weeks prior. In that 5 weeks the tumor grew from about the size of a walnut to the volleyball. I grew along with it, from the tiny bump of a first time mom at 20 weeks to measuring the same as a pregnant woman who was roughly 36 weeks along. In 5 weeks.

That 5 weeks was the hardest 5 weeks of my life. We had sonograms twice weekly, traveled across the state to visit more specialists, and were told that essentially our sweet Embree would probably not make it. We had a choice to make. The state of Texas allows an abortion a time period after 20 weeks if the pregnancy is life threatening to the mother or if the fetus has "abnormalities." We qualified for this. I have always been pro-choice, but I have never been pro-abortion for myself. While I agree that women have the right to do what is best for them, I myself wasn't ever planning on getting an abortion. I also had hope. Hope that Embree would be healed. Hope that the tumor would stop growing. So we chose to push on with the pregnancy, hoping that Embree would have a chance. I was counting down to the age of viability, just hoping that if I could keep Embree cooking until then, maybe.... just maybe, modern medicine and prayers could keep her alive.

We were not only closely monitoring Embree, but doctors were closely monitoring me. Even though Embree was still alive, she was not in good shape. She was developing Hydrops and I was at a risk of developing mirror syndrome. This would be life threatening to me if it fully developed. On April 22 I went to my second sonogram of the week and my doctors were concerned with the swelling in my feet. I was told that I had a decision to make. Not only was I starting to develop the beginnings of mirror syndrome, but we were 2 weeks away from 27 weeks. This was important because at 27 weeks, I would no longer be able to deliver Embree in Texas via c-section. Why? Because according to the law, by choosing to deliver Embree this early, I would be having an abortion. And while at 24.5 weeks I was still in the grey area of Texas Abortion law where I could deliver her, at 27 weeks I would not be. Surprised this is considered an abortion? Many are. Stay with me.

We decided to schedule our c-section for that Monday. I would be 25 weeks. We made it past the age of viability, but it was becoming obvious that she would not make it. We met with NICU doctors and they reviewed our case. They decided that they would not be attempting any life saving attempts on Embree after she was delivered. This meant officially, we were choosing to have an abortion. We were giving birth to our child early, knowing full well that she would not survive. This is what 'late term abortion' looks like. Catch that political buzz word? I will explain more below.

As you can imagine, this was the worst and longest weekend of our life. We knew that in 2 days we would be meeting our daughter and letting her go. But it gets so much worse. Again, this is considered an abortion. A late term abortion. The State of Texas, like most states who have a large majority who claim to be 'pro-life,' has many restrictions in place to prevent abortions from happening. Here is the thing about abortion legislation.... it doesn't differentiate between what we were going through and what the 'pro-life' groups think they are preventing. The laws in Texas stated that in order for us to give birth to Embree and have a chance to hold her while her soul still resided in her body, we had to do the following: 1. Our doctor had to apply for permission to perform the c-section from the state. This had to be done 24 hours before the surgery. We had to go to the hospital on the Saturday before we were to give birth, in the midst of our mourning, to sign a paper requesting an abortion. Put yourself in that situation. Forever, in the records of the State of Texas, there is a piece of paper that says that I aborted my precious Embree. 2. On top of filing this paperwork for us, our doctor also had to give me a pamphlet published by the State of Texas about the consequences of abortion. By law, she was required to give me a booklet that told me that if I had the abortion I would suffer from depression and anxiety for the rest of my life, have an increased risk of breast cancer, and possible be infertile in the future. Think I'm kidding? Have a look: https://hhs.texas.gov/.../women.../womans-right-to-know.pdf

If you consider yourself "pro-life" you are probably thinking something like, "yes but your situation was different. This isn't what I'm fighting against." Or maybe you're thinking "but I don't consider this abortion." Great. But the actual definition of abortion is "the termination of a pregnancy after, accompanied by, resulting in, or closely followed by the death of the embryo or fetus." So while YOU might not consider what we went through to be an "abortion," it was. I had an abortion. I had a late-term abortion.

Why am I bringing this up? Why am I telling you this? Because when lawmakers and people fight to end 'abortion,' they are talking about this too. When you hear about 'late term abortions' taking place, THIS is what is happening. It's not women who have carried babies to full term and then just deciding to have an abortion. It is women and families who are devastated that they are in a situation in which they have to decide whether to let a child suffer in the womb, or end their suffering. 'Pro-life' laws are designed to make this process difficult. They are designed to put obstacles in place. This process is already difficult enough. Even women who are deciding to have an abortion at 8 weeks. It's already a hard decision so why are we allowing people to torture them too. Every time people talk about saving the babies and being pro-life, I cringe on the inside. Not because I don't want to save babies, but because I want to save babies. Save babies from suffering that they are made to endure because some man who has no medical training has decided that he knows women's bodies better than doctors. I cringe because I know as a survivor of these terrible 'pro-life' laws that these laws are being used to trick women in America to vote against their own interest in hopes that they are saving the unborn. I cringe every time I hear people call those who vote in favor of Pro-Choice laws... 'murderers,' because they are saying I murdered my Embree.

I chose to deliver Embree on April 25, 2016 via c-section. I chose late-term abortion. I did so because it was the only way I could hold my baby girl while she was still alive. It was the only way I could encounter her soul until we are together again in heaven. This is why I am Pro-choice. Remember Embree and I when you vote."

If your first response to this story is, "But that's not abortion!" you're not just incorrect, you've also missed the point. Due to the circumstances and the laws of the state she was in, yes, this was legally considered an abortion. And if you think it shouldn't be, who do you think should make that decision? Who gets to define abortion so that it accounts for the millions of different individual circumstances that come into play? Most of us don't even want the government deciding which doctors we can go to—do we really want elected officials with no medical training making decisions about our specific, personal medical care?

Grammer isn't alone in sharing personal abortion stories that people don't think of as abortion. The families who desperately wanted a baby, who ended up having to make the rock-and-a-hard-place choice to abort because the alternative would have been a short, pain-filled life for their child. The mothers having to endure long, drawn out, potentially dangerous miscarriages and being forced to carry a dead baby inside of them because abortion restrictions gave them no other choice.

Some might say that these stories and experiences are not the norm, but they actually are when it comes to late-term abortion. Third trimester abortions are medical choices that aren't easy for any individual or family, and they are situations that medical professionals and patients need to make together, not the government. Pete Buttigieg said it beautifully: "The bottom line is, as horrible as that choice is, that woman, that family may seek spiritual guidance, they may seek medical guidance, but that decision is not going to be made any better, medically or morally, because the government is dictating how that decision should be made."

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Pets

Pets support us, let's support them.

In honor of Pet Wellness Month, here are three small ways to fuel your furry friends.

Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
Pets support our mental health every single day—now, it’s our turn to care for them.
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There are few things that boost our mental health more than owning a pet. Whether it’s a dog or a cat, pets offer unconditional love, the ability to lower stress, and the opportunity to build a community with other pet lovers. Pets support our mental health in dozens of ways, every single day. But how do we care for them in return?

In partnership with Nulo, we’re celebrating Pet Wellness Month this October by highlighting the small, meaningful ways pet parents fuel their fur babies’ happiness and health. We asked readers: “What’s one small thing you do that makes a big difference for your pet?” The best answers win a custom pet portrait, a wellness care package courtesy of Nulo, and a donation to their local pet shelter.

Of all the hilarious and heartfelt answers we got, three of them stood out. Here are the winning responses and three examples of how you, too, can make a huge difference for your pet in small, simple ways.

Keeping their bodies strong

Meet Tee: He’s a loyal, playful ball of energy that helps his owner, Jailon, by bringing joy and calm to his life every day. To show Tee love, Jailon prioritizes physical health and emotional wellness. For exercise, Jailon makes sure Tee has daily walks, playtime, and making sure his diet is balanced with high-quality, nutritious food (Nulo being one of his favorites).

But emotional wellness is equally important. “One small thing I do that makes a big difference for my pet is setting aside dedicated connection time every day,” Jailon says. “No phones, no distractions, just us. The time helps us bond and keeps Tee’s mind active and healthy.”

Communication is key

Mary Ann’s dog Aiden was rescued from her local Humane Society, and as a former stray, the beginning of their relationship wasn’t always easy.

“Aiden was so scared that he would sleep in a corner or under a bed. My husband and I had to sleep with him on the floor until we gained his trust,” Mary Ann said. To soothe his separation anxiety, Mary Ann started talking to him regularly.

“I started telling him, ‘mommy is going to work,’ or ‘mommy will be back’ and he started to understand,” she said.

Amazingly, Aiden responded. Now, his anxiety has improved and their bond is stronger than ever. Aiden still relishes the gentle words of affirmation that Mary Ann continues to give him.

“His face is so expressive and his smile melts our hearts,” she said. “We get him to fall asleep by repeatedly telling him, ‘I love you, Aiden.’”

Building them a place to call home

Our feline friends need love, too. That’s why Amber created a cozy habitat for her longhair tuxedo cat, Precious, on the nights where she likes to roam. Adopted from a local shelter eight years ago, Precious is now 16—and not fond of staying indoors.

“In her old age, Precious has become very anxious being inside,” Amber said. Even in the cold winter months, Precious prefers staying outside on their back deck or exploring their 10-acre property. “She usually refuses to come inside, even on cold nights,” Amber said.

After many failed attempts to get her inside for the evening, Amber and her family realized it would be unfair to keep her confined when she wasn’t comfortable. As a compromise, Amber’s handy husband built a safe haven for her outside.

“She couldn't just have a tiny little box. Our girl was too good for that,” Amber said. “Now we can rest easy at night knowing she is safe, warm, and secure in her own private bungalow.”

Showing love for your pets—especially in the form of regular exercise, safe surroundings and good nutrition—is the best way to keep them happy and healthy for as long as possible. And when we help our pets live longer, we’re nurturing the connection that makes our lives richer, too.


Good nutrition is the cornerstone of a happy pet. Fuel your pet and help them reach their individual incredible with help from Nulo.

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Family

Boomer grandma challenges family norms by asking why she has to do the traveling for visits

"Should grandmas be the ones on the road, or should families pick everything up and drive to her?"

baby boomers, grandparents, travel, airport, senior woman traveling, luggage
via Canva/Photos

An older woman holding a suitcase.

When the holidays roll around, it’s time for families to decide where they will meet to celebrate. For the most part, parents with younger kids dread packing their bags and traveling to a family member’s house where things aren’t set up for young children. You fumble around setting up the pack ‘n plays, can’t find your bottle brush, and freak out because the electrical sockets aren’t child-proof.

However, many grandparents aren’t keen on enduring the mental and physical strain of traveling at an older age. So, who’s right? Grandma Jan, founder of Grandma Camp and a TikTok influencer who shares fun ideas for grandparents and grandkids, argued that parents should pack up their kids and visit Grandma.

@grandmacampplanner

Is it Grandma’s job to travel to the kids, or should the family come to her? 👀 Let’s hear it—#GrandmaCamp #FamilyDebate #momsoftiktok #GrandmaLife #HolidayTravel

“Okay, so, here's the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don't you come visit us?’ But let's be honest, Grandma's house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” Grandma Jan begins. “But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it's time to flip the script. When did it become normal for Grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”

So she asked her followers: “Should grandmas be the one on the road or should families pick everything up and drive to her?” Just about everyone in the comments said that grandparents should have to travel to see their grandchildren.

“Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and in-laws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” Maggie wrote. “Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” Mrs. Wright added.

Some grandparents also checked in to disagree with Grandma Jan. “Why would I put that on my kids and grandkids? It’s so hard traveling with kids, not to mention expensive to fly for more than one person,” Populustultus wrote. “What a weird way to think about that. Why wouldn’t you help your kids create magic in their home? Signed a grandma,” LifestylebyKat added.

@grandmacampplanner

Disclaimer: My last post was meant to spark conversation, not advice. It came from what I witnessed as an OT — older grandmas struggling to travel alone. Every family is different ❤️ #GrandmaCampByGrandmaJan #FamilyDecisions #GrandmaLife #OTperspective #momsoftiktok

The response inspired Grandma Jan to release a follow-up video clarifying her opinion. She admits she came up with the idea after seeing older people having a hard time getting through the airport. “[I saw] older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist,” Grandma Jan said. “And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For younger, healthier grandparents, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle."

Ultimately, Grandma Jan didn’t intend to put anyone out; she just wanted to have a conversation about what’s best for families as a whole. “And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations, not making rules. And at the end of the day, it's about connection, not distance,” she concluded her video.

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Fascinating video explains why silent movie stars looked so weird on screen

Early Hollywood was a wild science experiment.

silent films, film history, makeup, makeup history, history, cool history, films, pop culture
Harold Dean Carsey, Wikipedia

Clara Bow

Film lovers and historians have long marveled at the hypnotic faces of the silent era: ghost-white skin, black lips, those hypnotically hollow eyes. But as one viral explainer from Hollywood history buff Swofford revealed, this wasn’t so much an aesthetic choice as it was about chemistry, physics, and creativity blending together in a really cool way.

In the earliest days of cinema, filmmaking was as much a science experiment as an art form. Directors, actors, and makeup artists were learning, frame by frame, how to make human faces readable on camera. And what they discovered would lay the groundwork for movie makeup as we know it.

As Swofford explained, early silent films were shot on orthochromatic film, from the Greek ortho (“correct”) and chroma (“color”). Ironically, the “correct color” film was terrible with warm tones and “did not give AF” about them, Swofford quipped.

Buster Keaton Hat GIFfrom Buster Keaton GIFs

This meant that red lipstick looked black, rosy cheeks turned ashen, and natural skin tones vanished into murky gray. Meanwhile, blue tones, which the film stock was sensitive to, appeared shockingly bright or ghostly white.

Pioneering filmmakers took their cues from theater—where thespians had already learned to combat harsh gaslight with greasepaint—and then reengineered those tricks for the even harsher glare of studio lamps and film stock.

Foundations came in pale yellows, whites, or faint pinks, applied in streaks and topped heavily with powder to reduce shine from the scorching studio lights (dear god, I’m breaking out just thinking about this). Contours were rouged in red for dimension, and blue, counterintuitively, was used as a highlighter. Eyes and brows were lined in dark brown or black to emphasize expression.

silent films, film history, makeup, makeup history, history, cool history, films, pop culture Theda Bara upload.wikimedia.org

The idea was to make “the whites of the eyes shine as brilliantly as possible," said Swofford.

Lips, meanwhile, were painted in cool pinks or muted browns—reds would turn black on film. And while rumor has it that 1920s actresses wore green lipstick, Swofford clarified that was a later invention for early color television testing, not the silent screen.

Under normal light, this makeup looked downright alien. But under orthochromatic film, it was pure magic: dreamy, sculpted, expressive. To prove it, Swofford even applied authentic 1920s makeup to his own face on camera. Lo and behold, it looked downright bizarre in color, but when he adjusted the light settings, it was uncanny. He suddenly transformed into a vintage film idol, like we’ve stepped into a Buster Keaton reel.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Once panchromatic film arrived—film that could capture the full color spectrum—this strange alchemy was no longer necessary, Swofford noted. And with the dawn of Technicolor, the entire aesthetic changed again.

This video is an amazing reminder that cinema has always been an evolving collaboration between art and experimentation. The faces of the silent era may look ghostly now, but in their time, they were pure innovation. It also goes to show that the earliest stars weren’t just performers, but the founders of a new visual language.

Be sure to give Swofford a follow on Instagram and YouTube for even more educational and entertaining videos just like this one.

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Master linguist visits town with world's most 'perplexing' accent and finally meets his match

Most shockingly, it's an extremely unique form of English.

language, linguistics, polyglot, english language, accents, scotland, travel, international, cultural differences
Photo credit: Canva

A polyglot who speaks dozens of languages finally met his match: A strange version of English.

Some languages are harder to learn than others. Many who've tried will say that Eastern languages like Chinese Mandarin and Japanese are extremely difficult for non-natives because of the unique sounds and intricate writing system. Others, like Hungarian or Finnish, have complex grammar rules that are challenging for beginners.

Some people find pretty much all of them simple. Or at least, they enjoy the challenge.

Arieh Smith, a YouTuber known as Xiaoma, is a polyglot—someone who has mastered many languages. He's known as a linguistics master and his skill and teachings have earned him nearly a whopping seven million subscribers on social media.

Xiaoma recently traveled to a well-known part of the world and finally met his match in the form of a dialect he just couldn't crack: English.

No, not regular American or British English, but a specific accent and dialect called Glaswegian; spoken in Glasgow, Scotland.

language, linguistics, polyglot, english language, accents, travel, international, cultural differences Glasgow is a beautiful and fascinating city. Photo by Dorin Seremet on Unsplash

Xiaoma says Glaswegian is known as one of the trickiest English accents in the entire world, and so he was eager to go and see—or hear—it for himself. He quickly meets up with a local guide who has agreed to show him around the city, and immediately, Xiaoma can hardly understand the man at all. When the guide tells Xiaoma that the day is going to have "tops off weather," the YouTuber is baffled. (It's just a clever, and cheeky way, of describing good weather.)

"You guys speak English, but it's different, it's like..."

"Swahili," the guide finished for him. Xiaoma agrees.

Later, Xiaoma interacts with a few randoms on the street, who all greet and welcome him warmly, even though they can't understand each other all that well. Eventually, Xiaoma tries his hand at a few of the Glaswegian phrases he's picked up, but he just can't seem to match the pace and cadence of the natives—even though they're technically speaking the same language!

You've got to watch the whole series of interactions to truly appreciate this fascinating dialect:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Reactions poured in as nearly a million people have viewed the video to date. Many were fascinated by the language, but even more viewers appreciated the cultural representation on display in the video.

The video resonated especially with UK residents and people who had Scottish ties:

"This might be the most authentic representation of glasgow ive seen on an international channel - no sanitised tourist pish, just normal folk on the street."

"Was born and raised in Glasgow for the first 9 years of my life, been back there a few times over the year but not returned in maybe 20 odd years now, this made me extremely homesick as to how friendly and willing to chat to strangers everyone is, you don't get that South of England."

"The language is rich but their cheekiness is richer"

"Glaswegians you'll notice are very informal but very friendly. Most of the slang is crude humour jabbing at the nature of things and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Man, being a native Scot I always have a big smile on my face hearing Scottish folk talk, especially Glaswegians. Pure magic, like!"

Glaswegian is an incredibly stubborn, resilient accent that shows no signs of going away anytime soon.

language, linguistics, polyglot, english language, accents, travel, international, cultural differences Fancy a visit? Photo by Artur Kraft on Unsplash

Many different towns and regions across the UK have their own specific dialects, but a lot of them are becoming "diluted" due to global television, social media, etc. It's related to a concept called "global homogenization." The more we're able to travel both physically and digitally, and the more we all consume the same media and culture on a large scale, the more we lose some of the regional intricacies that make the world so fascinating. Languages blend together, cultures flatten on, accents disappear. For example, the Brogue—an extremely rare English dialect found in some Atlantic coast islands in the United States—is quickly fading away.

Not Glaswegian.

“Interestingly, what is not happening in Scotland is the dilution of accents to a more homogenised anglicised accent on the scale that we are seeing in England, and in fact the Scots accent remains very distinctive," Professor Jane Stuart-Smith of Glasgow University told The Independent in 2015.

While the accent is beautiful, in its own strange way, maybe its the local culture and the good-hearted nature of the people who speak it that keeps it alive. You might not be any closer to understanding or speaking Glaswegian after watching Xiaoma's video, but with any luck, your interest in visiting Scotland will be piqued.

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People donate over $280,000 to Portland coffee shop giving free breakfast to SNAP recipients

"Portland, please come eat. The world has you."

coffee shop, barista, giving, generosity, breakfast
Photo credit: Canva

Sometimes a coffee shop is more than a coffee shop.

What happens when a volunteer-run, non-profit coffee shop offers free breakfast to people whose food assistance is about to be halted due to a government shutdown and political stalemate? The world shows up to help in a big way.

Heretic Coffee is a unique coffee shop and roasting company in southeast Portland, Oregon. The community-oriented shop aims to be a counter to the often-exploitative coffee industry, which means it pays its suppliers the best possible wage and provides top-notch brewing training to the volunteer baristas who help the shop run. And now that generosity of spirit has spread far beyond Portland after owner Josh White put out an offer to provide breakfast to anyone who is losing their SNAP benefits when the U.S. government halts benefits on November 1.

On October 26th, 2025, the coffee shop wrote on Instagram, "Starting November 1st: If you are losing your SNAP benefits and are unsure how to feed your family, then breakfast is on us. No proof needed. No questions asked. Just ask us for the 'Snap breakfast' and our baristas will know what to do, and will take care of you. Come in each day until your SNAP is back."

People who saw the post began asking if there was a place they could donate to help out with the generous offer. Heretic set up a donation link and put it in shop's Instagram bio, and soon the donations started pouring in. Within two days, over 2,000 people had donated, raising more than $72,000. In another two days, the total had climbed to over $184,000. As of October 30, that total had risen to over $280,000.

To say White was surprised is an understatement. "I legitimately thought we would get a couple hundred dollars,” he told The Oregonian.

What's perhaps most remarkable is the global nature of the donations. People from Australia to West Africa have sent breakfast funds, and as of October 30, more than 10,000 people had donated from around the world. One donation was just $1.17—all the person had to donate.

“This is a now a global movement of humanity making sure Americans are fed, White wrote on the shop's Instagram page. “Literally, thank you to the world for feeding people. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: when the system fails us, it’s on us to take care of each other.”

White has partnered with Equitable Giving Circle to ensure that every dollar of the flood of donations is put to the best use to help individuals and families in the Portland area get the aid they need.

People from Portland and elsewhere shared praise for the initiative and people's response to it:

"That’s an average donation of $26 each - let’s please remember this next time we are tempted to think 'but I’m just one person, what can I do?."

"When you eat primarily rice, beans, tuna, pasta, and are able to go into a regular coffee shop for a fresh meal — so much dignity is restored in that little act 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹."

"This is incredible!!! I love how people are showing up and giving what they can!! What a beautiful way to bring some healing to our divided nation."

"The way this rolling tide of generosity and love has made every day this week infinitely more tolerable ❤️🩹 None of us should have been driven to the point that this needed to be the answer but I am so damn grateful that humanity has shown up in this incredible way at this moment when my faith in all that’s good was beaten and dragged and shrinking every day."

""Restoring faith in humanity when we need it. Thank you!"

Heretic says that their first step with the flood of funds is to feed people with their SNAP breakfast initiative. "This is in effect right now and will be until SNAP is reinstated or until we go broke," the shop shared on Instagram. The next step is to use the attention "to bring awareness to the mutual aid orgs & communities here in Portland who have been doing this for years, and using your financial support to feed as many people as possible."

"Again, from the bottom of my heart: thank you," White wrote. "Thank you to everyone who has waited for their latte, to the grandmother in Ireland who emailed me and said she’d cook me dinner if I were ever in her city, and to the thousands of you who have given your money for this cause.

"Portland, please come eat. The world has you."

Indeed it does. Find more information about the SNAP breakfast initiative on Heretic Coffee's Instagram page.

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Man makes a perfect case for why you'll find so many narcissists at church

"I don't think Christianity creates narcissists, but I do think it attracts them."

church, pew, christians, worship, service, prayer
via Canva/Photos

A family at church.

There’s a bizarre paradox in American life where some of the most shameless people claim that they are devout followers of God. You see it all the time with shady politicians and even in the pulpit, where it seems like every few months, some famous preacher is getting caught up in a scandal motivated by greed or sex.

There are also those people you meet in church who claim to be the most Godly on Sunday, but seem to forget His teachings during the week. What gives? Why is it that people who claim to be the most religious are often self-centered, arrogant narcissists? A popular TikToker who goes by Johnny and posts about politics and American culture says it’s because narcissists have a special love for religion. After all, it perfectly complements their toxic personality.

“Have you guys ever noticed that it seems like narcissists seem to love Christianity? And it's not because they're genuinely spiritual, but because it gives them everything that they want: Admiration, forgiveness, and zero accountability,” Johnny opens his video.

@happytimes503

#religion #psychology #christianity #narcissism #accountability

“They wanna do whatever they want and still be seen as good. Then there's the image side of it, of course. You know, churches reward the appearance of virtue —being godly, family-oriented, moral. It's a stage narcissists thrive on,” Johnny continued. "They get to stand up, talk about values, saving the kids, while living the opposite in private.”

What is a narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition where people have a grandiose sense of self-importance. They are known to excessively brag about their achievements and fantasize about success, power, beauty, intelligence, and love. They have an intense need for admiration due to their fragile self-esteem and are preoccupied with how others feel about them. People should be wary around them because they are known to take advantage of others deliberately and can fake humility to protect their sense of self-importance.


Richard Ramos, founder of Parents on a Mission, a faith-based organization to help at-risk youth and families, says that churches are often positioned to be exploited by narcissists. “Many religious spaces value obedience, emotional vulnerability, and moral certainty, and of course, narcissists can exploit this to elevate themselves while hiding behind righteousness,” Ramos told Upworthy.

How to identify a narcissist in a religious setting

When do you know that someone in your house of worship is a narcissist? “You need to be aware of leaders or members who constantly put themselves front and center, discourage questioning, and confuse charisma with character,” Ramos told Upworthy. The Parents on a Mission founder believes that when combating narcissists in a religious setting, it’s best to enlist the entire community.


“If you’ve begun to sense narcissistic patterns in your faith community’s leadership, trust that instinct, and don’t carry the weight alone,” Ramos said. “Reach out to trusted voices, whether inside or outside your faith circle. You are not being ‘divisive’ by protecting your peace. You are discerning. Set clear boundaries and remember, spiritual leadership should never shrink your soul. True faith brings freedom, not fear. Confidence, not confusion. Worth, not shame.”

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