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Meryl Streep slams the term ‘toxic masculinity.’ Does she have a point?

Meryl Streep slams the term ‘toxic masculinity.’ Does she have a point?

The term toxic masculinity has been around for years but has truly reached its zenith in 2019. Enter Meryl Streep.

On one hand, having a national conversation about what we're teaching our boys about manhood is far overdue. But there has been a sizable backlash to the term as well.

Some people have perceived it as an attack on all things masculine while others have pointed out the potential irony of having women explain the proper expression of masculinity during a time when overbearing men are being criticized for "mansplaining" to women.

But for those paying close attention, it's clear there's a positive path forward that has nothing to do with shaming men. In fact, it's about saving them. And saving all of us from the fallout of dangerous and unhealthy behavior.

The distinction is perhaps best illustrated in Gillette's viral video in January, addressing toxic masculinity doesn't have to be about shaming men. Instead, it's about showing men how to be their best selves while honoring what it means to be a man.

However, things got a little bit complicated when acclaimed actress Meryl Street recently weighed in on the debate, saying she doesn't think the term is helpful.

"It's toxic people," Streep said while promoting her latest film, Suffragette.

Streep said she sees two underlying problems with the term toxic masculinity. First, she's concerned that it's an unhelpful label to broadly paste onto an entire gender, saying, it's "less helpful" than constructive dialogue.

"Sometimes I think we're hurt. We hurt our boys by calling something toxic masculinity. I do, she said." "We're all on the boat together. We've got to make it work."

However, her more controversial remarks came when Streep seemingly equated the bad behavior exhibited across gender lines, when she added, "Women can be pretty fucking toxic."

Does Streep have a point? Surely it's a noble goal to address all forms of harmful or toxic behavior. But to some people, she was missing the point entirely, much like when there was a conservative backlash to the Black Lives Matter movement centered on "All Lives Matter."

Regardless of whether or not you agree with Streep's comments, she's nudging people toward a deeper understanding of what toxic masculinity really means. It's not an attack on men. If it were, I'd be pretty foolish to be writing so many articles defending the movement toward more positive and constructive definitions of masculinity.

At the same time, there is value in Streep's point of view. It's a safe bet that if someone broke down the true definition of toxic masculinity, she would agree. Those on the far right who are looking to her as a new spokesperson against evolving cultural norms are going to find themselves very disappointed when they learn what Streep truly values.

And calling out toxic masculinity doesn't negate toxic behavioral patterns from women or any other gender.

It simply means men are often victim to and far too often become the perpetrators of toxic cultural conditioning that can lead to everything from health problems to real-world violence.

No serious voices in the discussion are asking men to stop being men. And no one in their right mind wants Meryl Streep to stop being her excellent self. Let's have a discussion about toxic masculinity that isn't afraid to get uncomfortable when necessary. We'll all be better off for it.

Share image: Getty Images.

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Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

A plane full of strangers restores our faith in humanity, zoo animals give adorable interviews, kids have their wishes granted, and much more.

Five new stories this week that restore our faith in humanity.

True

Need a timeline cleanse? Of course you do. No matter what kind of week you’re having, we bet these five feel-good news snippets will leave you smiling.

This week we’re celebrating:

This Texas woman's breastfeeding superpower

Alyse Ogletree / The Guardian

Texas mom Alyse Ogletree isn’t able to give away money to good causes—so she’s managed to donate something much harder to come by: breastmilk. Ogletree has selflessly donated a record amount of breastmilk (over 700 gallons!) to nourish thousands of premature and medically-fragile babies. Superwoman!

More wishes granted for children fighting critical illnesses

Make-A-Wish® supports kids and families facing critical illnesses, granting “wishes” unique to each child—everything from meeting a celebrity to redesigning their bedroom. Subaru is proud to have helped grant more than 3,600 wishes for kids in need through the Subaru Share the Love Event®. Even better? From now until January 2, Subaru is donating at least $300 to charities like Make-A-Wish® with every new Subaru purchased or leased.

A plane full of strangers helps a struggling single mom

@notaregularnanny Sobbing crying making this video ❤️‍🩹🥲 my faith in humanity was restored after this whole experience #ittakesavillage #myvillage #motherhood #solotravel #solomom #travelingwithkids #stranded #momsoftiktok #faithinhumanityrestored ♬ Outro by m83 - 𝙡𝙤𝙡𝙖

When her flight was canceled, Gabrielle G., a 27-year-old single parent, boarded a flight back home to Florida with her 18-month-old son. Traveling solo with a toddler is a daunting task—but in a now-viral video, Gabrielle shares how a slew of helpful strangers made the trip bearable, offering their seats and entertaining her son while her plane was stuck on the tarmac for hours. More of this, please, humanity!

This bald eagle's new foster baby

World Bird Sanctuary

When a large, male bald eagle started guarding something on the ground at the World Bird Sanctuary in Missouri, keepers discovered that he had become fiercely protective over a rock. Thinking it was an egg, the eagle, named Murphy, began sitting on it, nudging it, and guarding it protectively (which is classic male eagle behavior, his keepers say, as they share equally in bird-raising and have a strong paternal instinct).

Months later, an eagle chick was brought to the sanctuary after surviving a fall from its nest. When keepers put the baby bird and Murphy in the same enclosure, Murphy’s fatherly instincts kicked into high gear, feeding the baby himself. Now, Murphy has a baby of his very own.

These hilarious animal interviews

In a stunning feat of investigative journalism (lol), YouTuber Maya Higa started a series titled “Tiny Mic Interviews,” where she approaches animals at the ZooToYou Conservation Ambassadors with a tiny microphone and asks them the burning questions we all want to know, including “Can I please touch your snoot?” and “What’s your favorite thing about being a capybara?”

Higa “translates” their answers into text on screen, and the results are adorable. BRB, watching this series all day.

For more ways to smile, check out how Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season.

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Doorbell camera catches a UPS driver in a moment of contagious joy over a simple snack

Her adorable orangutan walk says it all.

@kenistoc/Reddit

Her delight at finding a snack she liked has people in stitches.

In the age of Amazon and other online retailers, delivery drivers have become an integral part of our lives. But most of us rarely interact with the people who drop packages at our door via UPS or FedEx or USPS, and if we do, it's usually only for a few seconds. We might manage a friendly "Good afternoon!" or quick "Thanks a bunch!" as they hustle to and from their vehicle, always rushing to fulfil their quota as efficiently as possible.

Delivery folks work hard. They're on their feet much of the day, traipsing up hundreds of front walks a week, through all kinds of inclement weather. Yes, it's their job and they're paid to do it, but it's always nice to have your work seen and appreciated, which is one reason a video of UPS driver discovering a sweet treat on a customer's front porch is going viral.

Another reason is that it's just hilariously adorable.

A doorbell camera caught a UPS driver wearing a holiday bauble headband walking up to the door and dropping off a package as she talks to herself. After she takes a photo of the delivery, she sees that the customer had left a little tray of drinks and snacks, and her "Oooh, do I see honey bunny?" is a sign of the hilarity to come.

Watch her reaction and the way she joyfully make her way back to the truck.

Unsurprisingly, people are in love with the driver and her giddy goofiness.

"I literally laughed out loud at her crazy walk back to the truck. I need more people like her in my life."

"I have a friend like that, he just makes my day every time we see each other. 😂"

"That is way adorable! Simple act that makes the day of a random person <3."

"I don’t know anything else about her but she’s my new fave human."

"OMG she reminds me of our mail carrier so much. We leave her cookies at Christmas and she always does a little happy dance that day."

Delivery drivers and former delivery drivers shared that these kinds of gestures really do mean a lot.

"As a former delivery driver, i want you to know that if you leave snacks and drinks out for us, we love you to the moon and back. 💜"

"Driving for Amazon paid my rent for 10 months. Not exaggerating when I say that it was a dark time in my life. Snacks made me smile. every. single. time."

"I mean... I literally took something from every house that had stuff out. I worked 10-12hrs+ during the holidays... I needed every calorie I could get walking 20-30miles a day."

"Even when I didn't take them I appreciate them. it's like seeing a sign that says we love delivery drivers."

"I'll tell you what, the people who leave food got me through my holidays as a postal carrier. Nothing slaps harder than an ice cold redbull and bag of pretzels and ice cold bottle of water that was left in a cooler. I had a lady who asked me what I liked and then had sperate bags labeled "Mail carrier USPS" and "UPS GUY" and "FED EX GUY" with our preferred snacks. She asked me what my favorite ice cream was and she knew my mile long loop and knew when I parked, I'd be done in 15mins, so, she'd be waiting at the truck every day all summer with an ice cream and a napkin.

There are some people who just f---ing make the day feel worth it, if you are one of these people, you are what makes delivering mail worth it. We do notice the nice things you do for us, THANK YOU."

"I do this during the summer. I'm in Texas so it's routinely over 100°F. I'm always trying to make sure there are cold drinks for our postal workers and delivery people."

"I do it during Australian Christmas. 40c/100f plus on a December day. Coke water and Gatorade always gone by lunch."

It's a good reminder that it doesn't take a lot to show appreciation and make someone's day. These kinds of positive interactions, even when asynchronous and not directly face-to-face, are an important part of building the kind of world we all want to live in.

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Toddler falls into pool and becomes his own hero thanks to survival swimming classes

He immediately knew what to do until help arrived.

Photo credit: Canva

17-month-old saves himself after falling in pool

There's nearly nothing more terrifying than your small child falling into a body of water when you're not looking. It's something that parents have nightmares about while some parents are left grieving that nightmare becoming reality. Accidents around pools are very common, resulting in massive public safety announcements about ways to keep kids safe around bodies of water.

There are initiatives ranging from discouraging parents from using Puddle Jumpers to making sure parents know to avoid putting blue bathing suits on children. Blue bathing suits makes it harder for people to see if a child has gone under water and the popular Puddle Jumpers give kids false confidence and teaches them improper form for swimming. But one of the most important message to parents has been to make sure your children know basic water safety skills and learn to swim.

Typically when small children fall into a pool while briefly unsupervised they panic causing them to quickly become submerged, sinking to the bottom of the pool. The drowning child is then only rescued if a parent, caregiver, older sibling or family dog sees them and jumps into action. But for one San Diego family, their 17-month old knew exactly what to do when he was running by the pool and fell inside. The entire thing was caught on home surveillance camera, piquing interest in the life saving swim lessons.

girl in white tank top on swimming pool during daytime Photo by Rendy Novantino on Unsplash

Little Frankie had been taking Infant Self Rescue (ISR) water safety training for months where the instructor teaches babies how to prepare for falling into water before righting themselves and floating. Watching the video you can see the training immediately kick in as the boy realizes he's going into the water. He immediately takes a deep breath as he's falling. While his little feet were above his head he didn't panic, he maneuvered his body until he could safely turn over to take a breath.

The baby floats on his back until his father sees him. Frankie's dad runs to his side only to stop for a minute in shock that his son was perfectly fine. He saved himself from a possible deadly situation by doing exactly what he was taught to do through those survival swim lessons.

boy in red t-shirt playing with water Photo by Yianni Mathioudakis on Unsplash

"I immediately thought, 'oh my gosh, he did exactly what he was taught to do," Frankie's mom says in part to Fox 5 San Diego. "He did what he was supposed to do and those lessons were invaluable."

The instructor for the ISR classes says he has been inundated with class sign ups after the story of Frankie got out. Witnessing the training save a small child in a real-life situation that could've ended in tragedy encouraged parents to take this type of training more seriously. Thanks to the toddler's months of training, falling into the pool didn't cause him any fear around falling into the pool. The little guy might have thought it was just another part of his training, especially since his dad didn't panic and pulled the boy out of the pool quickly.

ISR lessons can be cost prohibitive but community centers and places like the YMCA offer swim lessons for people of all ages, including infants. They're not the same type of lessons but they all teach water safety, including floating. Learning how to be comfortable in and around water to include some basic water survival skills will help children have safer experiences around water.

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Popular

Couple in their 30s live permanently on cruise ships for a little over $10K a year

“I’m not a millionaire ... I just live full-time on cruise ships.”

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A magnificent cruise ship on the ocean.

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."



The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals they’ve received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000. “It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.



Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises. They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub.



Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

Upworthy has reached out to Brzoska for comment and is still awaiting a response.



This article originally appeared in August.

Community

Louisiana church returns land to local Indigenous tribe in meaningful act of kindness

"You are now part of our history."

WVUE Fox 8|YouTube

In act of kindness Louisiana church returns land to Indigenous tribe

In recent years the Land Back Movement has come into public consciousness, it doesn't always necessarily mean physically return the land, but to return the stewardship of the land. Some Indigenous communities work with local government officials to care for the land in a way that will restore lost ecosystems and help the land thrive.

But in some recent instances, land has been physically returned to the local Indigenous communities. One example of physically returning land is California's governor Gavin Newsom returning 2,820 acres of ancestral land to the Shasta Indian Nation in Northwestern California. This move will help restore the natural environment to the area and allow the Shasta members to access sacred ceremonial ground.

a body of water surrounded by lush green trees Photo by Michael Sanchez on Unsplash

In Louisiana a small Indigenous community acquired some of their ancestral lands after the Coalition to Restore Coastal Louisiana started working with the Takapa Ishaq Chawasha tribe to protect the coastline with recycled oyster shells. But in order to move forward with their project they need to know who owns the property. After some searching, the group discovers the coastal area known as Lemon Tree Mound is owned by St. Pauls Episcopal Church.

A parishioner willed the land to the church after his death in the 80s and after the discovery that the land previously belonged to the tribe, the church has recently given it back.

Indigenous People Thanksgiving GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy

"We at the Episcopal church have strong commitments these days to restorative justice and to creation care. Maybe it's been a while in coming but better late than never," St. Paul's vestry member Greg Williams shares with WUVE Fox 8.

It's not just the local tribe that is excited for the land to be returned but their sister tribes have been expressing their excitement as well, tribal member Rosina Philippe tells the station, "even some of our sister tribes, you know. I got emails from different people saying, you know, doing that AH YEE YEE YEE YEE YEE in the email, spelling it out knowing that they're rejoicing and dancing with us."

The church leaders say they never hesitated to with the thought of giving the church back to the Indigenous tribe, calling the act "a very small thing" for the church. But that small act for the church was a huge thing for the Indigenous community in Louisiana.


"We're filled with gratitude first of all, and we're rejoicing to be connected to the land, to be tied into the land and you know, to have the land returned to the tribe. It's a rematriation, so connecting the tribe back to mother earth is more significant. You know, in that respect they may think it's a little thing but to us it's one of the best things that the church could ever have done. We're rejoicing. We're so very, very happy. It's a very big thing, a big thing," Phillipe says.

While the lemon trees are long gone, the oral history of how the land helped feed their ancestors and served as higher ground during flooding has been a memory passed down for generations. Since the land has been in the hands of the tribe for care, the recycled oysters used to build a barrier to protect the land's edge has grown coral and new oysters are beginning to thrive.

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Mother and son gave Radiohead's 'Creep' an Indian twist that's moving people to tears

The 90s hit has been covered many times, but never like this.

Image credit: Avie Sheck/Instagram (used with permission)

Avie Scheck sings "Creep" while his mom harmonizes with a classical Indian song.

Musical and cultural mashups can be a blast, with some combos you'd never think to put together creating a whole new and delightful experience. We've seen "Carol of the Bells" mashed up with "Pirates of the Caribbean" on harp, Dr. Seuss mashed up with Dr. Dre beats, Irish step dancing to Beyonce's country music and now, Radiohead's "Creep" with classical Indian music.

Avie Sheck has played and sung in bands his whole life while his mother is trained as classical Indian singer. India has a rich musical tradition that goes back some 6,000 years, stemming from sacred Vedic scriptures and chants, and while the pairing of it with Radiohead may be unexpected, the result is quite extraordinary.

Check this out:

People are raving over the mother-son mashup using words like "stunning," "exquisite" and "sublime," with many people saying it unexpectedly brought them to tears.

"As a Creep cover snob, this is the very best cover I’ve ever heard."

"I feel like I am floating in space right now while listening to this rendition of creep."

"One of those rare covers that I actually welcome that hit right. 👏"

"I can’t even explain it, I got full body chills. Your mom is 🤌🏼 literally stopped in my tracks."

"Bro I’d pay to listen to this live. Amazing!!"

"Watching this live would melt me."

"I am crying … this has tugged at something 😭😭🥹🥹"

Clearly, they struck a nerve with this one.

Believe it or not, Radiohead's "Creep" wasn't a huge success when it was first released in 1992. It was rarely played on the radio because it was considered too depressing for angsty early 90s musical tastes, and it topped out at #78 U.K. Singles Chart. The BBC even banned it for a while due to the f-bomb lyric, but when that word was changed to "very" and the song re-released in 1993, it found its audience and climbed to No. 7 on the U.K. charts.

Since then, it's been covered many times, its sad lyrics about yearning for someone out of your league and feeling like you don't belong hitting people where it hurts (but in the best way) for over 30 years.

Sheck's mom shared what her part of the song meant in a follow-up video on Instagram. She explained that it's about a mother waking up her son to take care of the cows because his friends are already up and about and wondering where he is. But the deeper meaning, she explains, is "You belong here. You belong to the Earth, the people around you, the animals around you. Stop that sadness." What a perfect complement to "Creep."

Classical Indian music has its own sound, structure and feel that make it unique, but it also blends beautifully with other musical styles when creative people make it happen. For instance, at a wedding blending Indian and Scottish cultures, instruments from both countries—bagpipes and the dhol drum—were combined with a perfectly joyful result. Much like this classical Indian/Radiohead mashup, putting two unexpected musical genres together sometimes works far better than people might imagine.

People have asked if the song can be found on Spotify, Apple music, etc., but Sheck explained that he can't share it there because it's an interpolation, not a straight cover, which involves a lot more complicated legal details. The full version can be found on YouTube, however, and he said he may put it on Soundcloud.

You can follow Avie Sheck on Instagram for more and find the full version of the "Creep" cover on Sheck's YouTube channel:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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