+
upworthy
Joy

What would you say if you could truly converse with your pet? People's answers are so wholesome.

Time for a smile break.

what tail wags mean, different cat purrs, if pets could talk
Canva

"Are you hungry? Do you want outside? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"

As loving pet owners, we do our best to become highly skilled animal translators. We know that not all meows are created equal. We can sense the difference between a happy tail wag and an anxious one. But still, what if we could just have a conversation with our beloved beasties? What would they say? And what would we ask them?

communicating with pets"Why are they looking at us like that? I know we're cute and all, but..." Photo by Louis-Philippe Poitras on Unsplash

In a since-deleted Reddit post, someone posed this very question. The Reddit user asked:

“You're gifted 24 straight hours where you and your pet are suddenly able to understand each other…What would you want to tell them?”

There were hundreds of responses. Some were lighthearted, like kindly asking to not throw up on the carpet or requesting explanation for [insert odd behavior here]. Others seemed eager to reassure their pets that yes, the vet really is a safe place to be, and no, leaving the house doesn’t mean they’ll be gone forever.

Despite the myriad answers, one theme prevailed: love. For the most part, pet owners have immense fondness for their fur babies, and really do want to provide the best life possible for them. We might not be able to use actual words (doesn’t stop us from using the baby voice though) but we humans will never stop finding different ways to thank our animals for filling our hearts with so much joy.

Enjoy 14 of the funniest, most heartwarming and all around smile-inducing answers:


“I would tell our cat how much we love him and how lovable he is. I would tell him that I value every second with him. I would tell him that we don't let him outside because he has a medical condition not because we choose not to let him outside. I would tell him that we disappear all day, most days, because we have to to earn our keep not because we want to…I would ask him if he is okay and happy, whether he feels well, whether he's in pain at all, what we could do to make him happier. I would stroke and cuddle him the whole time.” -@fishfingerchipbean

“I would reassure my dog that the people walking in the street aren't going to hurt us. Delivery drivers are not evil. The people at the vet are very nice and will never hurt you. They help keep you healthy.” -@FluffySharkBird

“I would profusely apologize for ever stomping on their tails and swear on my mother's life it was always an accident.” -@gudbote

“Talk about dog life and how it’s like…what do they do when left unsupervised, and maybe go on a walk and talk about anything and everything.” -@SecurityCrisis141


“I would love to know what they dream about.” -@Dry-Explanation-9464

what cats think, what dogs think

Dreaming about a utopia of nothing but amazon boxes.

Photo by Aleksandar Cvetanovic on Unsplash

“I think my cat would absolutely ROAST me first for 24 hours.” -@StraberryBob69

“Please let me know how to be a better friend to you because you deserve everything.” -@boywithtwoarms

“I'd ask him about what his life was like before he was picked up by the shelter (he was a stray when they found him). I'd also tell him how proud I am of him learning new things. I'd reassure him that he doesn't need to feel anxious or afraid when he sees other dogs on our walk (he's leash reactive, we're working on it).” -@makuniverse

ask reddit pets

"Will you love me forever?"

Photo by Madeline Bowen on Unsplash

“I'd ask them for their preferences on literally everything. What do they want to eat? What litter do they like? What toys, if any, do they actually enjoy playing with, and how can I make playtime with them more enjoyable? Which nap space is the best? Is the water fountain ever going to get used again, or should I just stick to cups of water laid out on the kitchen floor for them to pick from? Do they enjoy cuddle time at all (or, maybe for my own selfish sake, can i at least get SOME on occasion)?” -@in_the_low_life

“Why do you beg for treats, then sometimes don't even eat them but line them up on your bed in a certain order? And did you really eat that whole chicken, bones and all?” -@Lucinnda

“What’s up with the food thing? Today you love chicken pate and tomorrow it’s poison? WTF?” -Expensive_Ferret-339

if pets could talk

"Hm. No. Ask me again tomorrow."

Photo by Piotr Musioł on Unsplash

“If you need to throw up please get off the bed. Better yet, get on the tile. Love you. Thanks for never scratching the kids when they're being crazy.” -@Likeomgitscrystal

“I love you so much and I would literally die for you, Oh and why do you get zoomies everyday and bite me everytime!!!!!” -@curator_557

“Tbh I would just love to hear her tell stories of her favorite memories from her point of view. Maybe I'd tell her mine too. I really would just like to catch up like old friends lol. Also I would want to tell her that even though we go away on vacation sometimes I hope she knows that we'll always come back because we love her and we miss her lots while we're away.” -@Vanilla_Chinchilla96

Democracy

This Map Reveals The True Value Of $100 In Each State

Your purchasing power can swing by 30% from state to state.

Image by Tax Foundation.

Map represents the value of 100 dollars.

As the cost of living in large cities continues to rise, more and more people are realizing that the value of a dollar in the United States is a very relative concept. For decades, cost of living indices have sought to address and benchmark the inconsistencies in what money will buy, but they are often so specific as to prevent a holistic picture or the ability to "browse" the data based on geographic location.

The Tax Foundation addressed many of these shortcomings using the most recent (2015) Bureau of Economic Analysis data to provide a familiar map of the United States overlaid with the relative value of what $100 is "worth" in each state. Granted, going state-by-state still introduces a fair amount of "smoothing" into the process — $100 will go farther in Los Angeles than in Fresno, for instance — but it does provide insight into where the value lies.

Keep ReadingShow less

Two women enjoy a tasty early dinner.

Eating an early dinner has always been a stereotype associated with older, retired people who don't have to worry about work schedules and traffic. Plus, older people tend to have an early-to-bed, early-to-rise schedule and are more concerned about thoroughly digesting their meals before hitting the hay.

But an unexpected change in the great American culture means that older people and Gen Zers are more likely to fight each other for a 5 p.m. reservation at their local diner. A recent story in The Wall Street Journal shows that an increasing number of Americans are going out to dinner earlier.

Keep ReadingShow less

When people move in and refuse to move out, what do you do?

Squatters' rights laws are some of the most bizarrely misused legal realities we have, and something no one seems to have a good answer for. Most of us have heard stories of someone moving into a vacant home and just living there, without anyone's permission and without paying rent, and somehow this is a legal question mark until the courts sort it out.

According to The National Desk, squatters' rights are a carryover from British property law and were created to ensure that abandoned property could be used and to protect occupants from being kicked out without proper notice. It should go without saying that squatter law isn't meant to allow someone to just take over someone else's property, but sometimes that's exactly what happens.

It's what happend to Flash Shelton's mother when she put her house up for rent after her husband passed away. A woman contacted her with interest in the property, only she wanted to do repairs and look after the home instead of paying rent. Before anyone knew it, she had furniture delivered (which she later said was accidental) and set up camp, despite Shelton's mom not agreeing to the arrangement.

Keep ReadingShow less
Sunflower Farm Creamery/Youtube

This is almost too cute for words.

Look, you’re busy. You’ve got stuff that needs to be done today. Do you really have time to watch tiny baby goats jump in slow motion? Will that really add anything of value to your life?

Actually, the answer is yes. Because watching tiny baby goats jump in slow motion is not only exceedingly entertaining, it’s actually a simple life lesson in disguise.

These little guys hail from Sunflower Farm Creamery in Maine, where 60 (yes, 60) goats are born each year. Sunflower Farm promises that even if you didn’t love goats before, you will after watching videos from its Youtube channel showing the wee babes run, play, hop and snuggle. I mean, there’s another video showing the goats in pajamas…what’s not to love?
Keep ReadingShow less

Miss Smith has some thoughts about water bottles in school.

Americans' attitudes about water have changed over the past 30 years. In the past, a common phrase on the athletic field was, “Don’t drink too much water, you’ll get a cramp,” and the only people with water bottles were hippies.

Now, people everywhere walk around with large water bottles, sometimes up to 64oz, attached to themselves like purses. It’s like people leave the house with the sincere belief that they will not be able to find potable water for the next 3 weeks.

The hydration craze has also meant that water bottles have become trendy status symbols and markers of personal identity. Are you more of a Yeti person or a Stanley?

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

People admit the one thing that Boomers really got right and some folks are uncomfortable

"You have to force yourself to do things that are difficult and uncomfortable."

A Baby Boomer has some thoughts on emotional resilience.

An overarching Baby Boomer stereotype is that they have a problem with the younger generations, especially Millennials because they were coddled growing up and lack the determination to do hard things.

Many believe that when helicopter parents shelter kids from discomfort, they never develop the emotional resilience that it takes to succeed on their own.

Some may even attribute this to the increase in mental illness.

Keep ReadingShow less