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I asked 2 experts what I should know about money and happiness. This is what they said.

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TD Ameritrade

It has long been said that "money doesn't buy happiness."

Then again, it's also been said that money does buy a WaveRunner, and it's impossible to be sad while on a WaveRunner.

GIF via "The Meredith Vieira Show."

But figuratively speaking, could buying a WaveRunner possibly result in happiness?

No one denies that buying things can feel good. But is there a difference between buying things that make us happy and actually buying happiness?

What are the most important things we should know about the relationship between the things we buy and our emotional well-being?

Hoping to get some answers, I spoke with two experts: Gretchen Rubin, author of the New York Times bestseller "The Happiness Project" and host of the podcast "Happier With Gretchen Rubin,"and Jean Chatzky, author of "The 10 Commandments of Financial Happiness," financial editor of NBC's "Today" show, and host of the podcast "HerMoney."

1. Correlation isn't causation.

Image via iStock.


An influx of cash may alleviate some of your worries in the short term (mainly because it frees you from having to worry about money), but it won't do much to improve your general state of happiness in the long term unless you are doing the right things with it.

"If you're trying to decide whether or not to spend your money, anything that deepens or broadens relationships is probably a good idea," says Rubin.

"Should you go to your college reunion or spend that money going to a friend's wedding? Yes, because that's going to make you happier than a new pair of boots."

2. There is a ceiling.

Image via iStock.

"Once you have enough money to live comfortably, to get yourself a place to live, a car to take you back and forth to work, and enjoy yourself once in a while, more money beyond that isn't shown to measurably increase happiness," says Chatsky.

Is that really true? According to a Nobel Prize-winning study by Princeton University, the answer is yes!

Princeton's research team polled nearly a half-million Americans about their daily mood and income and found that lower income is associated with lower emotional well-being. They also found that the ceiling tends to top out at around an annual household income of $75,000 in most parts of the world. The researchers hypothesized that threshold could be the level at which people have enough money to spend time with people they like, keep themselves healthy, and enjoy leisure time.

3. It's all relative.

Image via iStock.

According to the UN's annual World Happiness Report, the happiest country in the world last year was Denmark, which somehow achieved this despite not even landing in the top 10 countries with the highest per-capita GDP or annual income.

This might be due to the fact that the reference point for what exactly is considered "wealthy" in countries like Denmark tends to be lower across the board than here in America, according to Chatzky.

Isn't it true that when we see the new car in our neighbor's driveway or the photos of our coworker's vacation in Bali, the inherently competitive part of our personalities comes out? It seems to place that desire for more above the things we as individuals actually require to be happy.

"You can't just assume that this experience or this project will increase my happiness because everybody talks about how great it is. You have to think about what's true for you."

"What tends to matter more than the actual numbers are whether you tend to have more or less than the person in the next office or the family down the block," says Chatzky.

"It's very easy to just go along with what 'everybody says,'" echoes Rubin.

"Everybody says it's fun to go out drinking. Everybody says it's fun to go skiing, but do you really enjoy that? I've heard from so many people who were like, 'You know, when I really stopped and thought about it, I realized I was doing all this stuff because I was just going along.' You can't just assume that this experience or this project will increase my happiness because everybody talks about how great it is. You have to think about what's true for you."

4. Control is key.

Image via iStock.

"What I learned from years of research is that what you have is not nearly as important as how much control you have over the money you have," says Chatzky.

Some of us can do more to achieve happiness with $30 than others can with $3,000, and it all relates back to the ways in which we are spending it.

"Money is like health. When we don't have it, it really affects us in the negative, but when we do have it, it's easy to take it for granted."

With today's technology, it's become more complex than ever. One-click shopping sites that automatically store your credit card information may be convenient, but they have also fueled our tendencies to spend money on "impulse buys" that we later regret.

"Money is like health. When we don't have it, it really affects us in the negative, but when we do have it, it's easy to take it for granted," says Rubin.

Indeed, the effect that poor money management can have on our happiness is similar to the effects a poor diet can have on our health. We know that a direct correlation between the two exists, but we often avoid it because we are convinced it's too late to change our ways.

Speaking of which...

5. Developing habits is also key.

Image via iStock.

Human beings have always been creatures of habit, yet we usually only tend to acknowledge this phenomenon when discussing the habits that negatively influence our lives. The truth, however, is that it's just as possible for us to develop positive spending habits in order to better our emotional well-being.

There are many attainable goals that will directly influence your levels of happiness, according to both Chatzky and Grubin. They suggest small things like regularly monitoring your spending habits, automatically deducting 5% of your paycheck into a savings account, or paying your bills as they come in instead of all at once.

"Anything that's convenient, you're more likely to do," mentions Grubin. "Automatic savings requires no effort. If you're shopping, shop with a basket, not with a cart. The more inconvenient it is to carry that stuff around, the less likely you are to buy it."

You see, laziness can be used for good after all! (*turns on television*) (*binge-watches 10 straight "30 Rock" episodes*)

6. Know yourself.

Image via iStock.

Are you more likely to spend money with a credit card or with cash? Do you really need that expensive coffee on the way to work each day, or the biweekly trips to the tanning booth?

"Getting on a path so that you know where you want to go, and that there are benchmarks between you and that goal for you to knock down ... to know that you're making progress is one of the easiest ways to make yourself happy."

You are the only person who can make the changes necessary to ensure your happiness, and the first step in doing so is acknowledging the impact that money has on it and taking the correct measures to improve the relationship between the two.

"Getting on a path so that you know where you want to go, and that there are benchmarks between you and that goal for you to knock down ... to know that you're making progress is one of the easiest ways to make yourself happy," says Chatzky.

"The thing about money is that it really pulls us down more than it lifts us up," adds Rubin. "It's important to cultivate a gratitude for when you do have enough money, because if you're not worrying about it, you don't realize what a huge role it plays."

It all boils down to making sure you are truly investing in your happiness, not just trying to buy it.

It's all about balance. So, whether it's that new pair of boots, that definitive collection of Biggie's greatest hits, or that annual ski trip in Aspen — if it's serving you, then it's good to spend! But before you do, just make sure you can still afford the mortgage payment or that unexpected blown tire when you get back.

Money may never be able to buy happiness in and of itself, but it can help provide you with the stability that makes happiness a much more attainable goal.

Maybe not a "bulldog in sunglasses riding a WaveRunner" level of happiness, but happiness nonetheless.

Science

MIT’s trillion-frames-per-second camera can capture light as it travels

"There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

Photo from YouTube video.

Photographing the path of light.

A new camera developed at MIT can photograph a trillion frames per second.

Compare that with a traditional movie camera which takes a mere 24. This new advancement in photographic technology has given scientists the ability to photograph the movement of the fastest thing in the Universe, light.

The actual event occurred in a nano second, but the camera has the ability to slow it down to twenty seconds.

time, science, frames per second, bounced light

The amazing camera.

Photo from YouTube video.

 For some perspective, according to New York Times writer, John Markoff, "If a bullet were tracked in the same fashion moving through the same fluid, the resulting movie would last three years."


In the video below, you'll see experimental footage of light photons traveling 600-million-miles-per-hour through water.

It's impossible to directly record light so the camera takes millions of scans to recreate each image. The process has been called femto-photography and according to Andrea Velten, a researcher involved with the project, "There's nothing in the universe that looks fast to this camera."

(H/T Curiosity)


This article originally appeared on 09.08.17

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Family

Dad found out his son bullied a kid at school and came up with a brilliant teaching moment

"I told him that we have the opportunity to make things right."

@thehalfdeaddad/TikTok

Dad on TikTok shared how he addressed his son's bullying.

What do you do when you find out your kid bullied someone? For many parents, the first step is forcing an apology. While this response is of course warranted, is it really effective? Some might argue that there are more constructive ways of handling the situation that teach a kid not only what they did wrong, but how to make things right again.

Single dad Patrick Forseth recently shared how he made a truly teachable moment out of his son, Lincoln, getting into trouble for bullying. Rather than forcing an apology, Forseth made sure his son was actively part of a solution.


The thought process behind his decision, which he explained in a now-viral TikTok video, is both simple and somewhat racial compared to how many parents have been encouraged to handle similar situations.

“I got an email a few days ago from my 9-year-old son's teacher that he had done a ‘prank’ to a fellow classmate and it ended up embarrassing the classmate and hurt his feelings,” the video begins.

At this point, Forseth doesn’t split hairs. “I don't care who you are, that's bullying,” he said. “If you do something to somebody that you know has the potential end result of them being embarrassed in front of a class or hurt—you’re bullying.”

So, Forseth and Lincoln sat down for a long talk (a talk, not a lecture) about appropriate punishment and how it would have felt to be on the receiving end of such a prank.

From there, Forseth told his son that he would decide how to make things right, making it a masterclass in taking true accountability.

“I demanded nothing out of him. I demanded no apology, I demanded no apology to the teacher,” he continued, adding, “I told him that we have the opportunity to go back and make things right. We can't take things back, but we can try to correct things and look for forgiveness.”

@thehalfdeaddad Replying to @sunshinyday1227 And then it’s my kid 🤦‍♂️😡 #endbullyingnow #talktoyourkidsmore #dadlifebestlife #singledadsover40 #teachyourchildren #ReadySetLift ♬ Get You The Moon - Kina

So what did Lincoln do? He went back to his school and actually talked to the other boy he pranked. After learning that they shared a love of Pokémon, he then went home to retrieve two of his favorite Pokémon cards as a peace offering, complete with a freshly cleaned case.

Lincoln would end up sharing with his dad that the other boy was so moved by the gesture that he would end up hugging him.

“I just want to encourage all parents to talk to your kids,” Forseth concluded. “Let's try to avoid just the swat on the butt [and] send them to their room. Doesn't teach them anything.”

In Forseth’s opinion, kids get far more insight by figuring out how to resolve a problem themselves. “That's what they're actually going to face in the real world once they move out of our nests.”

He certainly has a point. A slap on the wrist followed by being marched down somewhere to say, “I’m sorry,” only further humiliates kids most of the time. With this gentler approach, kids are taught the intrinsic value of making amends after wrongdoing, not to mention the power of their own autonomy. Imagine that—blips in judgment can end up being major character-building moments.

Kudos to this dad and his very smart parenting strategy.


This article originally appeared on 3.24.23

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Education

Expert says there's only one laundry cycle you ever need, no matter what's being washed

Straight from Patric Richardson, the "Laundry Guy" himself.

Representative image from Canva

Because who can keep up with which laundry settings is for which item, anyway?

Once upon a time, our only option for getting clothes clean was to get out a bucket of soapy water and start scrubbing. Nowadays, we use fancy machines that not only do the labor for us, but give us free reign to choose between endless water temperature, wash duration, and spin speed combinations.

Of course, here’s where the paradox of choice comes in. Suddenly you’re second guessing whether that lace item needs to use the “delicates” cycle, or the “hand wash” one, or what exactly merits a “permanent press” cycle. And now, you’re wishing for that bygone bucket just to take away the mental rigamarole.

Well, you’re in luck. Turns out there’s only one setting you actually need. At least according to one laundry expert.

While appearing on HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast, Patric Richardson, aka The Laundry Evangelist, said he swears by the “express” cycle, as “it’s long enough to get your clothes clean but it’s short enough not to cause any damage.”

Richardson’s reasoning is founded in research done while writing his book, “Laundry Love,” which showed that even the dirtiest items would be cleaned in the “express” cycle, aka the “quick wash” or “30 minute setting.”


Furthermore the laundry expert, who’s also the host of HGTV’s “Laundry Guy,” warned that longer wash settings only cause more wear and tear, plus use up more water and power, making express wash a much more sustainable choice.

Really, the multiple settings washing machines have more to do with people being creatures of habit, and less to do with efficiency, Richardson explained.

“All of those cycles [on the washing machine] exist because they used to exist,” he told co-hosts Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson. “We didn’t have the technology in the fabric, in the machine, in the detergent [that we do now], and we needed those cycles. In the ’70s, you needed the ‘bulky bedding’ cycle and the ‘sanitary’ cycle ... it was a legit thing. You don’t need them anymore, but too many people want to buy a machine and they’re like, ‘My mom’s machine has “whitest whites.”’ If I could build a washing machine, it would just have one button — you’d just push it, and it’d be warm water and ‘express’ cycle and that’s it.”
washing machine

When was the last time you washed you washing machine? "Never" is a valid answer.

Canva

According to Good Housekeeping, there are some things to keep in mind if you plan to go strictly express from now on.

For one thing, the outlet recommends only filling the machine halfway and using a half dose of liquid, not powder detergent, since express cycles use less water. Second, using the setting regularly can develop a “musty” smell, due to the constant low-temperature water causing a buildup of mold or bacteria. To prevent this, running an empty wash on a hot setting, sans the detergent, is recommended every few weeks, along with regularly scrubbing the detergent drawer and door seal.

Still, even with those additional caveats, it might be worth it just to knock out multiple washes in one day. Cause let’s be honest—a day of laundry and television binging sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?

To catch even more of Richardson’s tips, find the full podcast episode here.


This article originally appeared on 2.4.24

community
Family

A mom asked if it's appropriate to make a babysitter do housework and set the internet on fire

They're just sitting there while my kids sleep.

Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

Should babysitters be expected to clean?

When it comes to babysitting, you can hit the jackpot with someone who not only enjoys hanging out with your kiddos but also cleans out of boredom. The only babysitter I've had that experience with is my mom, but I do hear they do exist. While walking into a spotless house after a much-needed night out would be amazing, it's not really part of a standard babysitting package.

Typically, whoever babysits for you is solely there to focus on the well-being of your children. They feed them snacks, play games with them, and follow their bedtime routine to the letter. Then they hang out on your couch reminding Netflix that they're still watching and wait for you to return. Sure, they clean up dishes from dinner and whatever toys were pulled out during their time with your kids, but they don't typically clean your house.

But in a private parenting group I belong to, a long debate was started when a mom asked a group of 260k of her closest friends if it would be appropriate for a parent to ask a babysitter to clean their home.

The anonymous mom explained that her college-aged daughter had recently started babysitting for a family, but on the second day, her duties suddenly changed. There was a list of chores waiting for the babysitter that included cleaning the family's dishes and cleaning up messes that were there before the sitter arrived.

This revelation set off a firestorm of comments with many agreeing that anything outside of cleaning up after the children while they're in your care is a separate job. But not everyone was on the same page and it was clear that this was a topic that was going to cause some intense debate. Since summer months are here, there's no wonder this topic is coming up and views are split.

woman holding kid in the street

Should babysitters be expected to clean, one mom asks.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Scary Mommy recently published an article posing a similar question, only this was coming from a parent who wanted her babysitter to clean while her children slept. Elizabeth Narins explains that she and her husband are stretched thin and have an active toddler she jokingly calls a "toy tornado."

"Given the amount of housework that clearly needs to be done, paying someone to sit on our toy-covered couch during naps or after bedtime just seems... inefficient," Narins wrote before posing the question. "Is it completely out of line for me to ask her to declutter when my kids are in bed?"

Whether it's the expert interviewed for the Scary Mommy article or the parents in the private group, there does seem to be one common theme among the discourse: Any additional chores should be clarified in the original job description, and if it wasn't, then it should be directly brought up in a conversation with the babysitter.

Many parents in the comments believed that a housekeeper should be hired in addition to the babysitter, while others thought the babysitter should be offered more money for the additional work. But there were several people who thought it was just common courtesy for a babysitter to clean the house while the kids were asleep.

It may seem that you're paying a babysitter to do nothing while your children sleep, but you're paying them to be there in the event of an emergency. No matter which side of the debate you're on, it seems proper communication about expectations will save everyone a headache in the future.

Do you think cleaning should be expected from a babysitter?


This article originally appeared on 6.8.23

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Heroes

Heart stopping video shows group of drivers working together to rescue man from burning car

This is what teamwork looks like.

CBS Mornings|YouTube

Video shows group of strangers trying to free man from burning car

Getting into a car crash is not something people hope they experience in their lifetimes, and if it does happen you hope it's just a minor fender bender. Unfortunately not all car accidents are minor. One man found himself in a pretty major accident on a Minnesota highway becoming trapped in his car.

According to eye witnesses, the man struck a light pole on the highway, landing with the driver's side of the car pinned against the guardrail. The car quickly becomes engulfed in flames as other drivers rush to the man's side in an attempt to free him from the fiery vehicle. Kadir Tolla caught the whole thing on his dash-cam accidentally when he jumped out of his running car to help.

Multiple people fought flames trying desperately to pull the car door open to let the driver out, but the guardrail thwarts their efforts repeatedly. At some point, Tolla runs to grab a large piece of hard plastic he found on the road and attempts to break the window. Nothing seems to be going in favor of the civilian rescuers.

"He was saying, 'pull me out, pull me out, pull me out,'" Tolla tells Fox News. "We could crack the door a little bit, you know, give him a little air. It [the flames] was actually smacking us in our face but we was just jumping back."

Eventually a "highway helper" arrived and breaks the glass on the driver's side window, which allows the other drivers to pull the man through the window, carrying him to safety. They got him out just in the knick of time because before they could get the unidentified man away from the car, the flames began to dance right where the driver was sitting seconds before.

The entire video is heart stopping, and shows the power of everyday people working together to save a stranger. Watch the heroic rescue below.

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